Question - Deaf or Hard-of-Hearing?

[TXgolfer]

I feel it is easier to tell people that I am deaf so they wont confuse my good speech skills with my ability to hear better than I can. I used to identify myself as "hearing-impaired" and growing up, people assumed that I couldnt be deaf because I spoke so good and they would get mad at me for not "listening" . I just find it easier to say "I am deaf" and I also identify myself as culturally Deaf as well.

This is me as well. I was blessed with a good voice and nobody believes I am deaf. They think I am trying to brush them off. My voice is very deep. People are always telling me I should be on radio. Lol I even called into a radio show years ago and the host (Mark Davis) commented on my voice. So when people hear me talk and I tell them I can't hear they think I am just an ass.
:shrug:

 

[untitled]

I feel it is easier to tell people that I am deaf so they wont confuse my good speech skills with my ability to hear better than I can. I used to identify myself as "hearing-impaired" and growing up, people assumed that I couldnt be deaf because I spoke so good and they would get mad at me for not "listening" . I just find it easier to say "I am deaf" and I also identify myself as culturally Deaf as well.

I have just called myself "deaf" as well, and sometimes I get a good laugh when strangers inquire and I just lay out straight: "I'm deaf". And they get apologetic and I just lol and they don't believe it because I can laugh with some sound. I don't know if I'm culturally deaf because I feel I am just as involved in everything hearing people are involved in(I'm not sure if that's what you meant by "culturally" though).

But I wanted to ask, did you ever take a class to learn to speak well? I can speak, but it's not that good. I think if I spoke more then I'd get better but I don't really know.

 

[CJB]

I get a good laugh when strangers inquire and I just lay out straight: "I'm deaf". And they get apologetic

I always laugh at this too. They see a blind person and when they find out I'm also HOH it's like gasp "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"



And then they wonder why I'm laughing. Which makes me laugh more.

 

[sallylou]

In my experience, when you tell a hearing person that you're HOH, the person just yells at you. If you tell the person that you can read lips, then the person thinks that he can continue speaking rapidly without clearly enunciating. Most frustrating! Listening and reading lips exhausts me. I tell hearing people that I'm going deaf which describes my situation more clearly. I can't hear speech and my hearing loss is progressive.

With deaf/Deaf people, I'm learning ASL so I just sign that I'm "SLOW." LOL I usually tell deaf people that I'm HOH because I'm a newbie to ASL.

 

[rockin'robin]

:scratch::shrug: Never gonna figure out who is what, so I go with Popeye..."I Yam What I Yam"

 

[LDNanna]

I am late Deaf. I began as hearing, then hard-of-hearing, then HOH (lol), and now I am Deaf. There are few d/Deaf/hoh folks here. We must make our own culture. My speech is not so great, my ASL is terrible, and I have no patience to write notes to goggle eyed Muppet Mouths. Texts, VP, and IMs are great. (Did I mention that I might be the Maxine of the Deaf?)

Tujay, your explanation is very good indeed.

I am Deaf, I tell everyone that I am, if its pertinent. Used to, I would let hearing people treat me terribly. Today, just now, I just decided that isnt going to happen again. No more will I put up with Hearies standing in front of me mouthing nothing, or my boss standing behind me saying mean things because she knows I cant hear them.

Whooo hoooo! Sorry to derail the topic... I have had a Deaf epiphany.

I may be back in a few days... (laughs maniacally)...

 

[Lissa]

Here's a funny story. 2 or 3 years ago, I attended a party of my friend's who was turning 21. The party was in his friend's flat. There were many culturally Deaf people there, all signing in fast BSL, whereas I was able to understand, but i am not that good at doing it myself since I grew up using spoken language/oralism. One of the guys at the party asked my name and if I was deaf or hearing. I replied deaf whilst saying deaf. He said Okay, are you hard of hearing? I said no, I'm deaf. He said okay then you're hearing? I replied no, I'm deaf without using my voice. I was laughing hysterically since I didnt know what he was on about, my friend was doing the same. I asked her what was going on? She signed to me how he wanted me to do it. Sign deaf with no voice and no mouthing "deaf", I went okay and did what I was told to do. He said You're deaf, I see!! Small d or something similar(I cannot remember) He said ah well! welcome anyway
the party was great! Most of the students were Deaf Studies students(deaf themselves)!!
This made me realise that I am deaf and not Deaf, which I do not mind. As I know I can communicate in both worlds.

 

[CJB]

In my experience, when you tell a hearing person that you're HOH, the person just yells at you.

Argh! I hate when they do this! I'll go into a simple yet thorough-enough explanation of print-on-palm and explain I need them to use this communication method with me. Only to have them yell at me. :roll: If I could understand you, I wouldn't insist on POP.

At this point I don't respond at all when they yell, don't even move or flinch, and wait until they write on my hand, as I've just politely requested them to do. I don't care how they interpret it but that's usually what it takes to get someone to actually write on my hand.

I don't understand why so many people yell at us when we've just explained the best way to communicate with us.

 

[Bottesini]

I am late Deaf. I began as hearing, then hard-of-hearing, then HOH (lol), and now I am Deaf. There are few d/Deaf/hoh folks here. We must make our own culture. My speech is not so great, my ASL is terrible, and I have no patience to write notes to goggle eyed Muppet Mouths. Texts, VP, and IMs are great. (Did I mention that I might be the Maxine of the Deaf?)

Tujay, your explanation is very good indeed.

I am Deaf, I tell everyone that I am, if its pertinent. Used to, I would let hearing people treat me terribly. Today, just now, I just decided that isnt going to happen again. No more will I put up with Hearies standing in front of me mouthing nothing, or my boss standing behind me saying mean things because she knows I cant hear them.

Whooo hoooo! Sorry to derail the topic... I have had a Deaf epiphany.

I may be back in a few days... (laughs maniacally)...

Tough adjustment there.

 

[sallylou]

Maxine of the Deaf! I love it!!!!

 

[natty_4ever]

I always laugh at this too. They see a blind person and when they find out I'm also HOH it's like gasp "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"



And then they wonder why I'm laughing. Which makes me laugh more.

This happened to me the other day!
My hearing aids had both shut down for some reason and I just took them out. A construction worker started following me outside. Turns out he was talking to me! I looked at him to try to speechread, and he said something like "how is your day?" and I answered him, but then he kept talking while I was trying to walk away, and tapped me on the shoulder for me to turn around again. I said I was deaf and could not hear him talking and even signed it to him to try to get my point across, and from what I could tell, he said (yelled, rather), "OH my GOD. I am SO sorry! MY RIGHT EAR IS KIND OF DEAF TOO!!!"

 

[rapunzelcrazy]

I am late Deaf. I began as hearing, then hard-of-hearing, then HOH (lol), and now I am Deaf. There are few d/Deaf/hoh folks here. We must make our own culture. My speech is not so great, my ASL is terrible, and I have no patience to write notes to goggle eyed Muppet Mouths. Texts, VP, and IMs are great. (Did I mention that I might be the Maxine of the Deaf?)

Tujay, your explanation is very good indeed.

I am Deaf, I tell everyone that I am, if its pertinent. Used to, I would let hearing people treat me terribly. Today, just now, I just decided that isnt going to happen again. No more will I put up with Hearies standing in front of me mouthing nothing, or my boss standing behind me saying mean things because she knows I cant hear them.

Whooo hoooo! Sorry to derail the topic... I have had a Deaf epiphany.

I may be back in a few days... (laughs maniacally)...

Good for you You deserve respect!!!

 

[Rubiegem8280]

I know I may have no right to butt in on the thread, being a complete newbie to the whole world of HoH vs Deaf. I grew up with friends who classified themselves in both realms, friends who taught at schools for all ages, friends who went to school to teach, etc, etc... and just this morning learned that though I thought I was just a little HoH I am going to eventually be deaf. I was diagnosed with Cochlear Otoschlerosis today along with a major drop in my hearing. I have two HA's I have used for 2 years but now only make out what is said to me when right in front of me with some lip reading involved. I found this whole topic intreguing. I have not really even told people I was HoH much. I guess since most of my world is hearing I have just been doing my best to keep up till it wasn't working and then started telling them I needed them to repeat cause I missed that. My family all knew and I explained I was working on lip reading with them. My deaf friends knew and have been practicing what sign I know with me. My 4 yr old daughter is ASD (autism moderate on the scale) and I had been working on baby signs with her since birth so it was good practice to refresh what little (very little) I already knew from childhood. My hearing loss started senior year of college and my speech is great so I guess no one notices my hearing until I really screw up my response or it appears I am ignoring them and look like a total rude you know what. SO I guess.... as a late HoH or late deafen-ing adult.... how does one start the whole identifying to people thing? Some mentioned just blurting it out before the questions fly and other in reply.... is there a culteral "norm" for the hearing world approach?

 

[BecLak]

What do you do when there is no one else around you who is Deaf and have no way of seeking out the Deaf community in the country you are living in? What do you do when you were raised in a hearing family; went to mainstream school and raised oral, was never told about Sign Language until recently; married hearing and your children are hearing and you are the only one who is deaf? Though I can speak quite well after intensive speech therapy and much practice, it still makes me very tired. Prefer and can understand Auslan but not fluent in signing back due to minimal, and now lack of, social interaction with Deaf community; AllDeaf is all I have. I am learning some ASL too. I am moderately severe to severely deaf. I do not see myself as HOH but as deaf/Deaf.

 

[BecLak]

I know I may have no right to butt in on the thread, being a complete newbie to the whole world of HoH vs Deaf. I grew up with friends who classified themselves in both realms, friends who taught at schools for all ages, friends who went to school to teach, etc, etc... and just this morning learned that though I thought I was just a little HoH I am going to eventually be deaf. I was diagnosed with Cochlear Otoschlerosis today along with a major drop in my hearing. I have two HA's I have used for 2 years but now only make out what is said to me when right in front of me with some lip reading involved. I found this whole topic intreguing. I have not really even told people I was HoH much. I guess since most of my world is hearing I have just been doing my best to keep up till it wasn't working and then started telling them I needed them to repeat cause I missed that. My family all knew and I explained I was working on lip reading with them. My deaf friends knew and have been practicing what sign I know with me. My 4 yr old daughter is ASD (autism moderate on the scale) and I had been working on baby signs with her since birth so it was good practice to refresh what little (very little) I already knew from childhood. My hearing loss started senior year of college and my speech is great so I guess no one notices my hearing until I really screw up my response or it appears I am ignoring them and look like a total rude you know what. SO I guess.... as a late HoH or late deafen-ing adult.... how does one start the whole identifying to people thing? Some mentioned just blurting it out before the questions fly and other in reply.... is there a culteral "norm" for the hearing world approach?

Hi, I just read your post, it seems I can identify with you a lot. As many have said here at AllDeaf - "You are what you yourself identify yourself as". As a child people told me I was hearing impaired. Now I just say I'm deaf and I am not ashamed of it. Whether they believe me or not it is their problem. I have evidence now with audiogram that what was believed to be my 'mother tongue' (English) is in fact likened to a 'foreign language' to me because that's what it really sounds like. I can hear some speech but cannot comprehend without lipreading. Without my contacts, it would be just gibbery-goob if I hear anything at all.

 

[nobody456]

I feel it is easier to tell people that I am deaf so they wont confuse my good speech skills with my ability to hear better than I can. I used to identify myself as "hearing-impaired" and growing up, people assumed that I couldnt be deaf because I spoke so good and they would get mad at me for not "listening" . I just find it easier to say "I am deaf" and I also identify myself as culturally Deaf as well.

People assumed that I was hearing when I spoke too. Many people wouldn't have realized the hearing aid or that I had the level of hearing that I have. I got good at following conversations and filling in "gaps" with lip-reading. I actively tried to be "hearing" and usually people would fill in other people that I was actually hearing-impaired.

But honestly, background noise and four people in a social setting is the last place I want to be. It's difficult to sort of interrupt and ask to fill in the gaps if you missed it.. like a joke...whatever..it sucks. It's usually a little dreadful to force myself into some social situations and I didn't really think about it until lately, so I just realized I really don't like being hearing "socially". So reality sets in and I have to accept it. It's a point where I think I am "socially" or hopefully "culturally" deaf.

At work, it's much simpler to wear noticeable headphones for music (I pick up background noise without my hearing aid and it drives me nuts- sounds like conservation in a swimming pool) and when someone wants to speak to me, they know I should put on my hearing aid first. Sometimes they'll start going off and I'll interrupt them with a finger and point to my ear until I get my hearing aid. People would rather save their breath over me interrupting them. I do have to consider that perhaps sometimes management thinks I'm not listening, so I try to "parrot" back whatever it is that they want from me. I'm sometimes a handful because I do pay attention and pick up details that other people don't and it makes them look a little embarrassed after I tell them pieces of information or arguments that are solid. Some co-workers viewed this disrespect (logic -and work- should have no emotion so I don't put much empathy in my arguments, yes like Spock), but when I found out things were being said, I had to repeat myself over and over about the style of listening and confirming information so that I don't get it wrong and upset co-workers over the style I have. I really think this also depends on the experiences/background/education of your co-workers too. All my other major experiences at other workplaces and schools, etc. usually came with people who treated me with a lot of respect. At this place, I don't get it at a level I'm used to. Maybe because it's much more women and older without college degrees? And this is like 75% of the branch. I usually speak at a level where I can get the other person to speak at that volume as well. If they start whispering, I'll actually talk a bit louder and if they don't get it, then I tell them to speak up.

I'm going to try to get back to ASL and go to some social events .

 

[Rubiegem8280]

People assumed that I was hearing when I spoke too. Many people wouldn't have realized the hearing aid or that I had the level of hearing that I have. I got good at following conversations and filling in "gaps" with lip-reading. I actively tried to be "hearing" and usually people would fill in other people that I was actually hearing-impaired.

But honestly, background noise and four people in a social setting is the last place I want to be. It's difficult to sort of interrupt and ask to fill in the gaps if you missed it.. like a joke...whatever..it sucks. It's usually a little dreadful to force myself into some social situations and I didn't really think about it until lately, so I just realized I really don't like being hearing "socially". So reality sets in and I have to accept it. It's a point where I think I am "socially" or hopefully "culturally" deaf.

I'm going to try to get back to ASL and go to some social events .

No one notices my hearing aids because if my hair covering them, not that I think they are doing much now. They are still programmed to my previous level of loss. I will be going to a new ENT on the first and I am sure adjustments will follow. I feel like I have had no choice but to try to be "hearing" with my circumstances but have been identifying myself more to confused people as HoH so I don't look so rude. I have had good luck with people not just walking off or saying forget it to me... so far. Social situations still plague me too. I am trying hard not to avoid them but I still find myself isolating at them. I am trying very hard to figure out how to incorporate an ASL class into my hectic schedule. My family is being fantastic and wants to learn it with me! Perhaps with more culture involvement and I know I will have more hearing loss, somewhere down the line I will identify more as deaf. But I feel being late in the game i haven't "earned" the deaf part yet.... even if voices aren't in my hearing range.