Problems with My Step Son

This is why I don't like friends or cousin who do like this. Most my friends are do this stuff but not me.


Last time I got like this spot before. It was very crazy to deal. Good thing I left quick before they was look for me since they need me drive them home. That was 2 months ago We didn't spoke with that person.


This guy should be away from you. I can't image how hard when you try deal with this while you care your wife.
 
They ain't gonna confiscate your house for having a small amount of weed. That is for criminal manufacture or very large sales amounts.
Second, young people can grow and change, and the concept of locking him up for life is a bit drastic at this early stage. Young get emotional with family issues. Grow out of it.
Step kids are different than having your own kid. They don't immediately take to new parent who is not blood. Especially when they are already older.
Kids needs help. Might need lockup for a while. And counseling.
Maybe someday you get chance to explain you found the pot later.
 
Cowpuppy said:
They ain't gonna confiscate your house for having a small amount of weed. That is for criminal manufacture or very large sales amounts.
Second, young people can grow and change, and the concept of locking him up for life is a bit drastic at this early stage. Young get emotional with family issues. Grow out of it.
Step kids are different than having your own kid. They don't immediately take to new parent who is not blood. Especially when they are already older.
Kids needs help. Might need lockup for a while. And counseling.
Maybe someday you get chance to explain you found the pot later.
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I confess I know little about confiscation laws in Indiana, but I have heard confiscation stories when it comes to drugs. So I guess it varies from state to state. I just worry what will happen to our home.

I had suspected that both my steps would not be very receptive towards me as I started dating their mother.

At one time, my SS asked his mother if she had a choice, who would she back up the most? Me or him. She chose me and he asked, "WHY??" because I am her sole provider, he's not.

Yiz
 
It sound like you have a difficult situation. I think you were right to throw your ss out even though I feel bad for your wife. What he did was inexcusable and it should not be tolerated.

I can see a lot of heart aches and scars (emotional and otherwise) given your SS's behavior affecting both your wife and her grand children. You're going to need support dealing with the mess that your ss has left and with dealing with him.
 
Well, I think eventually he'll end up in jail. As long as he is avoiding child support payments, the bigger the problem it will be. Sooner or later, the cops will be knocking on the door looking for him. Either that, or a warrant will be sitting in the system waiting to be discovered in their PTC system (computer in their car) if and when Zach screws up by violating a traffic law and gets pulled over.

Either way, he's going to jail.

Yiz
 
I'm really sorry to hear about your step son. It's awful having to live in fear with someone like that around. I have suffered domestic violence so I know what it's like.

I wish you and your wife the best of luck.
 
How about take your step son to... boot camp or other place that will help?
 
Christer said:
How about take your step son to... boot camp or other place that will help?
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the step son is 20. it is the step son's choice how he wants to live his life... if the kid wants help he can chose to get it, he can also reject it...
 
Yep, he's too old for parent/court intervention, he's under his own free will now.

So he has his own choices, good or bad.

Yiz
 
yizuman said:
That's another issue that I haven't addressed.

He had a previous g/f and was engaged to her. He has 2 kids with her, a boy and a girl.

He left her because he doesn't like being told what to do and is avoiding paying child support. He as already accrued over 3k worth of payments.

But you know what? I'm going to find this ironic that his kids is going to learn to hate their dad just the same as both my SS and my SD learned to hate their dad. It's sad really. It will be a complete full circle, if that ever happens.

He has also grabbed his ex-fiance by her throat. Another time when my SS tried to leave, she grabbed him by the arm, not wanting him to leave, he yanked his arm away and she accidentally scratched him.

Then he looked at his arm and said, "Aha, I got you now!" and called the police. She got arrested and charged for domestic violence which is a felony in this state.

Bottom line is, my SS is an asshole.

Yiz
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:wtf: A scratch can get her arrested and charged?
 
WizardOfOz said:
:wtf: A scratch can get her arrested and charged?
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Yeppa, of course, he prolly either stretched the truth or lied about how he got it. I wasn't there, but only told by his ex-g/f what happened and I have no reason to disbelieve her.

But I did ask the cop about it and they said that you just don't touch someone that the person doesn't want to be touched. It can get you arrested.

Yiz
 
Jeez... sorry you had to go through all that.

When it comes to problems, I mean SERIOUS problems between relatives... it can be very difficult to take action towards it due to family love.

In my own family, I've already reached a point where if something happens with one particular family member... I WILL take action. I don't care if that person is part of my family. Yes, I love this person... but this person has gone beyond the threshold.

You did the right thing by having him banned from the house. It's understandable that you want charges pressed, but putting a restraining order against him was a good compromise for your wife. Now that your wife has health problems, then it's time to take further action when the time comes. She's your wife. You have a right to defend her. From what I've read, he does deserve to be in jail.
 
Sorry to hear you and your wife's dealing with a difficult situation. It's scary when a person can be psychotic in a instant! You all are way better without him in your lives.

Let's hope he'll hit the rock bottom and wake up to the fact he needs to change for the better and try to break the cycle he's trapped in.

Hope your wife will continues to have strength to call the police on him everytime he threatens her and family or worse.
 
P.O.S. called today, 4 times, after that I turned the phone off.

He's harassing me and I already called the cops. He's already been told not to call any of us ever again and he's ignoring the cops's directive.

Wife knew who it was and she wanted to talk to him. I reminded her that the last time he called, he made her cry. I was not about to let that happen again, so I said, "no". She's pissed at me. Fine with me.

Yiz
 
Will you wife go to a group like ALANON? She needs some help. I can't imagine how hard this is for her. Hope that you can get her to seek help.
 
sallylou said:
Will you wife go to a group like ALANON? She needs some help. I can't imagine how hard this is for her. Hope that you can get her to seek help.
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Dunno, she's in bad shape to begin with. Just reminding you she's a double amputee along with her weak upper body strength due to her declined health from last year on May 18th to May 13th this year. She's home, but bedridden and have to use a hoyer lift to get her into the electric wheelchair. She can't move much by herself.

As for transportation, she gets a free transport to the dialysis center 3 times a week. Doc appointments has to be a special request.

As for meetings, she's a bit stubborn when it comes to counseling. She's too independent as far as talking about her feelings and or problems.

I can try and encourage her, but the rest is up to her.

Yiz
 
I understand. Maybe she can find some online support. I just hate someone to suffer without support.
 
sallylou said:
I understand. Maybe she can find some online support. I just hate someone to suffer without support.
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She wouldn't have to be suffering if he'd stop calling. The dickhead doesn't think. When he calls wanting to harass me, he doesn't put his mom into consideration, especially with her health. That goes to show he doesn't give a damn.

Yiz
 
Someone said the son need help! The son is going want to get help , the court can order the kid to get help , but that does not mean he will listen ! How old is your step son ? It is a drag he was abuse by his father but that is no excuses for him to be an asshole! You're doing all the right things and you need to keep calling the cops when the ass threaten you and your wife! The kid belong in jail before he hurt and your wife! My ex husband had 2 sons and one doing drugs and had no job. My husband asked if his son could move in with us ,as it was my home. I told my step son no drugs were
allowed in my home and I that found drug rehab. center for him to go to and that I may have job for him working at a radio station! My step son did not move in ! He did not like all my rules!
 
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