Problem with a co-worker

I would definitely start reporting it up the chain of command and keep documentation of every single incident with both the offender and the supervisors/management. It wouldn't hurt to start looking elsewhere for work also.

In a right to work state where they can fire you for smelling funny as long as it doesn't violate your EEOC rights, it helps to arm yourself to the teeth with whatever documentation you can. I can't say it will help though. I've been sent to HR for being a pain more than once for demanding reasonable accommodation. I worked customer service for our local government and asked to be sat with a wall to my left instead of 3 noisy printers and loud coworkers on each side of me. Customers were complaining that I wasn't paying attention because I had to have them repeat themselves and was reading lips rather than looking them in the eyes.
 
Steinhauer said:
Just an update. I arrived at work this morning and he was waiting outside for me. He apologized and extended his hand.

I learned later that the employee that had been with me had a talk with him about it. So ... All is better ...not stellar, but better :)

I was very surprised and caught off guard. The employee that saw it manned up which is something I didn't expect. I am not used to situations like this turning out this way.

But it was cool.
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I hope things will continue to improve from here on. :)
 
LoveBlue said:
He already said that it's legal in his state.
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True, but each state may have a different applications. Under what conditions is it legal? I'm not saying it is not. I'm just saying look into it carefully. Has anyone used the law successfully, etc.

Also, I would ask in work if you could record conversations so you could play them back later as a tool for work. This would be to your advantage.
 
C.C.Sinned said:
steinhauer, I had deal with the same type of 'tard at my last job. talking it out man to man did not mean anything to him, as he wasn't much of a man. so I spoke to a manager, the 'tard didn't listen to the manager, the I went to the senior manager, the 'tard didn't listen to him. the BS continued. so I bagan making my grievances in paper to all managers and the senior maager. the 'tard continued harassment and the managers tried to keep it "in house". dispite mangers telling the 'tard to stop he continued. So my grievances went to the district manager level. the mahagers asked me if they had all my copies of the grievances to "ensure a timely resolution". meaning their butts were in a sling from the district manager and they wanted to ensure their butts were safe. i lied, told them they had all my paperwork. managers tried to clean up the mess. yet the 'tard continued. I requested to district manager come to our location and deal with my being harassed in person to resolve the issue, once and for all. The district manager came down on manager like a wrecking ball. yet my manager were trying to act like they were unaware of how bad the situation had became. so i handed in many copies of all my grievance letters show just how long it went on. the problems ended.
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That is exactly how I anticipated this situation was going to turn out. I think anyone who is HoH or Deaf has gone through similar situations to different degrees at one point or another. I am just too old to deal with it any longer. I cut out the middleman and go straight to the top now because yes, I have experienced what you have described before. My immediate supervisor ended up getting fired.

I don't cry "discrimination" over spilled milk. When I claim it is happening, it is after all attempts to resolve the matter have failed.
 
Recording of any conversation without consent from others won't get though the court. Judge will dismiss this and will not present to the jury.

Same principle that happened recently in the court where police had secretly installed GPS on suspect's vehicle, that is without the vehicle owner knowledge. Court had struck down that because of two things, no owner consent, nor court consent. Now, if police want to plant GPS on suspect vehicle, police are required either to get permission from judge or inform the vehicle owner and get approval from him.

Witness does not require any approvals.

BTW glad to hear you had this work out with Co-worker. I would suggest that you let co worker you don't take this lightly and will take action if this happens again. You will get more respect afterwards.

Gee immediate supervisor got fired? It shows that company can't afford this and don't want happen again. Any legal involvement cost companies dearly.
 
I wasn't going to take it to court. I was going to take it to HR. In Georgia it is legal and permissible as long as one member in a conversation is aware that the conversation is being recorded (meaning the person recording).

Surveillance cameras at the shopping mall are legal recordings too. They are permissible in court.
 
Steinhauer said:
...Surveillance cameras at the shopping mall are legal recordings too. They are permissible in court.
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Probably because there is no expectation of privacy in public places such as shopping malls.
 
Well, here I am, late to the party and I'm sure glad this appears settled. The only thing left to do in case it is needed in the future is the airtightness of this recording biz......
 
Glad it's over and done with. Probably won't be the last time you might encounter such jerks as this, tho'.
 
I'm glad it looks like it's resolved. It sounds like you have a decent co-worker to talk to the jerk about his behavior. Maybe he was able to be brave enough to do that because he respects you. I would still not trust the man who behaved so badly, though. I think keeping a recorder on is a good idea.

My husband had a different situation, but he was able to use a recorder to fix the problem. He was promoted from assistant manager to manager at another grocery store when two young women at the other grocery store got their boss fired for sexual harassment. The fired manager said he had been set up,b ut you know, they always say that.

When my husband started working at the store, he noticed that the same two girls kept trying to make appointments to talk to him about work conditions, or walking into his office and closing the door just to 'chat.' They also made flirtatious comments and tried to get him to flirt back, and he never would.

My husband refused to ever meet with the girls with his door shut, and he bought a voice recorder and told them he was recording every conversation they had. If they refused to let him record it, he insisted the meeting was over and left his office.

They did not like him using the recorder, but he would just ask, "Why should it bother you? Are you going to say something you'll be ashamed of?" After a couple of months, one of them got fired when she was caught tampering with her co-worker's work schedules, and the other one quit. Then my husband learned from other employees that the two girls had boasted that they were going to get the new manager fired same as the old one, and were betting other co-workers they could get him fired.
I hope this coworker starts treating you right and continues to do the right thing.
 
Steinhauer said:
Just an update. I arrived at work this morning and he was waiting outside for me. He apologized and extended his hand.

I learned later that the employee that had been with me had a talk with him about it. So ... All is better ...not stellar, but better :)

I was very surprised and caught off guard. The employee that saw it manned up which is something I didn't expect. I am not used to situations like this turning out this way.

But it was cool.
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:) I'm very pleased.

What C.C.Sinned said in his Post #17 is exactly how I would do it and he said it better than I did. that's what I was trying to convey to you. It's always the most appropriate and proper way to handle it. Skipping a line to the top is usually a big no-no and it won't get any easier for you because supervisor doesn't look too kindly to that. it would make him looks like an incompetent clueless ass to his boss.

on most cases, I'd strongly advise against "secret evidence-gathering" like tape-recording. We all know what happens to people who did that. Example - a few former NYPD whistleblowers with secret tape-recordings. when a corporation or higher-up is involved in illegal activity, well that's whole another different story.

but like I said before - it's work politic. it takes a bit of delicate handling and attitude to handle it without spilling it all over so that it doesn't come off as you vs. them. Just about everything can be settled over a talk and handshakes before needing to get higher-ups involved even though he refused to shake yours at first. This way - it feels just dang good in the end and it makes you feel like you're part of team. I'm happy that your other coworker stepped in and smartened him up.
 
I bet there is post somewhere mentioning about this for customer protection blah blah. This one is perfect legal.


Steinhauer said:
I wasn't going to take it to court. I was going to take it to HR. In Georgia it is legal and permissible as long as one member in a conversation is aware that the conversation is being recorded (meaning the person recording).

Surveillance cameras at the shopping mall are legal recordings too. They are permissible in court.
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Thanks everyone for listening.

Ever since the first experience I had in my life where I was made to feel "different" because of being HoH - I thought that I would eventually get used to it.

But no ... I never have. I just don't have any patience for it anymore. Hope that makes sense.
 
Steinhauer said:
Thanks everyone for listening.

Ever since the first experience I had in my life where I was made to feel "different" because of being HoH - I thought that I would eventually get used to it.

But no ... I never have. I just don't have any patience for it anymore. Hope that makes sense.
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What will "not having any patience for it anymore" translate into in the future? You don't hafta answer if ya don't wanna.....
 
Tousi said:
What will "not having any patience for it anymore" translate into in the future? You don't hafta answer if ya don't wanna.....
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Being treated "different" does have different translations. Thanks for pointing that out.

Being treated differently because I cannot hear can have positive and negative meanings. Suppose someone speaks slightly louder, slower and more concisely to me than they would someone else - I am being treated differently - but in a positive way.

Suppose another person oversees this and thinks the person is doing this because I am mentally challenged. Suppose they copy this behaviour and treat me as if I am mentally challenged.

Maybe they really thought I was mentally challenged... and thought they were being "nice".

A miscommunication has occurred in such an illustration. I DO have patience for honest errors such as that - however annoying they may be.

However, suppose a person has been told numerous times that the above illustration is simply not the case. That there is no mental handicap, but a physical limitation on an ability to communicate verbally.

Suppose the individual intentionally makes communication more difficult out of self entertainment purposes. Then ... that individual was told to stop, but they continue.

That is harrassment. That is what I have no patience for.

Now, I know it is probably the "wise" thing to report this to an employer for documentation purposes.

However, the supervisor or employer is not the individual being harrassed.

Furthermore, reporting it to an employer usually only means a "write up" and a stern talking to since usually there is no proof.

That still means I have to work in an uncomfortable environment when that person is there and continues the behaviour when no one is looking and there are absolutely no witnesses.

So why don't I just quit? That seems to be a common question in situations such as this. Here is my question - why should I have to quit when the person breaking the law should be fired?

Since I have experienced a far more severe form of harrassment at a different job and at a different time - and a similar occurence was happening at this job, I thought the same pattern was going to develop and I wanted to nip in the bud before it got to full bloom.

In the situation where I experienced far more severe harrassment, I had to endure a year and a half of constant beratement, ridicule and unease because my boss didn't like the fact he had to work with a HoH individual that made HIS life so much more complicated than it had to be blah blah blah. It took a year and a half for his boss to have all the "t'"s crossed and the "i's" dotted and for my complaints to be "documented" as well as several other employees that also felt the same exact way for him to actually be fired.

Why?

Why did it take so long? Why did I have to endure that for a year and a half?

Why couldn't I just provide solid proof to the authorities and had a restraining order put on him? Why is it "illegal" to provide absolute proof of illegal activity? Makes absolutely no sense to me at all.

In Georgia, it is not illegal to record as long as ONE party knows the conversation is being recorded. Not BOTH parties. That means, I can record my own conversations with others and I do not need their permission to do so. No one is forcing them to interact with me. However, I cannot record another parties conversations without their consent (like two other people who are talking to each other and I am not a party to the conversation).

Here is the code

16-11-66 :: 16-11 :: Title 16 — Crimes and Offenses :: 2006 Georgia Code :: Georgia Code :: US Codes and Statutes :: US Law :: Justia
 
I forgot to mention this earlier. I know how hard it is to apologize sometimes. It takes a real man, or real woman to make a genuine apology. It also takes a real man or woman to forgive.

So, this co-worker is getting a clean slate as if it never happened ... His apology was genuine.
 
Thats good, since you made the action, which result co-worker realize that he can not continue playing games and could lead him into serious trouble.

I have the feelings that this will lead to greater respect toward to you.


Steinhauer said:
I forgot to mention this earlier. I know how hard it is to apologize sometimes. It takes a real man, or real woman to make a genuine apology. It also takes a real man or woman to forgive.

So, this co-worker is getting a clean slate as if it never happened ... His apology was genuine.
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Glad it worked out all for you and this man. I used to deal with one guy who called me bitch and told everyone at work what a bitch I am. so on and on but he also did harrassed other workers. We had a meeting with bosses and they decided to keep him. Few months later I transfered to other department to stay away from him. Years later I heard he got fired from his job after one supervisor got fed up with him. So sad to think about what he did to me and he never apologized. I am glad the guy did apologized to you. Hopefully he will not repeat his actions with you.
 
Wow, that coworker sounds like a complete jerk. I'm surprised he managed to apologize in a way that felt sincere. I hope he really does "change his ways" and doesn't go back to the same horrible behavior!
 
My workplace, USPS forbids that kind of behavior. If a co-worker talks shit to me because I am deaf, that person is kicked out (suspended or fired). USPS is very strict. Even deaf workers are not allowed to tap another worker's shoulder to get the attention and vice versa (no physical contact).
 
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