Preparing 8and worrying) for kindergarten...

[deafdyke]

Well, I have no realtives out of this town, and I don't know if I would be likely to send my son away from home. It would be a good solution in theory, but he is so small and I don't want him to think we are sending him away because he's "different" from us... While his hearing sister have all her parents by herself... Being immersed in the Deaf world is important, but the people he loves the most now are hearing and this can't be changed or ignored. So for now the best we can do is to meet as many deaf families as we can and to see if we can create a group of peers to play together, etc

Just thought I would throw that out as an idea, sending him to live with relatives so he can get a better education. Some parents do that in the US. (like if they live in a crappy school district and the grandparents live in a better one, the kids will sometimes live with the grandparents) ....I do think that if you can provide a lot of out of school enrichment until he is old enough to help have a say in schooling, he can survive. Contact the Signing School and see if they might have any outreach or anything else like a visiting TOD.
I think you can make this work. Maybe a good idea might be to try to pioneer a regional program where kids who sign in your area can go to school togehter. Maybe things will get better when he's older, and you might be able to move closer to that Signing School.......I do agree with you....I think that most little kids should live at home and attend school at a regional program or with a 'terp, and that staying in the dorms, should wait til they are a bit older. I also believe however, that the possibilty of going off to school should always be a possible option for most dhh kids. They may never need to go there....but I do think that both kids and parents need to know about the Deaf School option. Especially in the later grades. (like in middle and high school, which can be horrible for a lot of kids) Hopefully things may improve, and maybe you can end up moving closer to the signing school. I do think that moving closer to a Deaf School (and I'm talking in general, not talking to your specific sitution) is prolly one of the best solutions. It's very common for parents here in the states, to move to a better Deaf School.

 

[messymama]

I'm back!

Hi there, some time is passed since I last visited here... I had some health problems, but I'm better now and I felt it was kinda bad to keep on reading here without telling you about us.

My boy started kindergarten finally! He's in the same class as his sister for this year (next year she'll start primary school - is it called like that? Oh well), he has a full-time special education teacher (who knows no sign at all:roll:but she's trying to learn) and an almost full-time "terp" that's hearing, but VERY good signer. To our surprise, the kid is doing VERY well. He likes school, his relational issues are slowly getting better, and he started to understand signing and tries to do it himself (he has a hard time on this, but he's working on that too). We're all improving our sign language and enjoying it too.

Unfortunately he haven't met his deaf signing peers since a long time. We try to meet other deaf kids and adults as often as possible. We meet a deaf kid with CI,who is learning sign language too, about once a week... But he seems to get along better with my hearing daughter really! Also because she is learning signs quite quickly, so they communicate with more ease. Oh well, it will be easier when my son will grow up a little.

I'm happy that he enjoys school really, I was a bit worried, but he really just WANT to do what others do. The first time he realized he could stay there with others for lunch... He looked at me and gave me such a big, satisfied smile He needs to believe that HE CAN do what all other kids do, and I'm happy to confirm to him that yes, he can!! (well, everything except hearing of course - but he's more interested in playing and eating at the moment )

One thing that helped a lot was discovering he has some food allergies: after removing some foods from his daily diet, he got better, slept better, and he's more willing to cooperate. I couldn't believe that but... It really made a huge difference.

I'm improving my signing and I have to say... How helpful! There are just so many situations it comes in handy for us hearing, too, and it's basically more... How can I say? Relaxing? After a day of work or kids party or long car trip, soooo more comfortable to sign instead of talking... More peaceful... I just like it more and more every day!

I hope to be able to tell you my son has made some new sign soon: at the moment he just does a sign for "open" (usually he does it looking at the refrigerator) and "give me"... Apart from that, he does a lot of gestures and mimics we don't understand at all! He's "babbling with his hands" and he's so cute!! He learned to use his voice better, too, and shouts and babbles all day. He's teaching himself... His speech therapist is working on signs now. I'm happy that he can explore his voice without pressure on "speech" for now. No one still knows what/if he hears, but since he seems to understand almost everything (who knows how... Signing, lipreading, some hearing, telepathy... Who cares) and he's always cheerful and improving his relations, we are fine with it. He wears his aids almost all day long, and if he takes them off we let him do so. Same do the teachers at school. After christmas, basic signing has to become daily used in the classroom by ALL teachers (and that will be a challenge... Two of them are really good and willing to learn, and two are... tragic). We are also preparing a song with signs to help the kids to meet halfway.

That's enough from now from Italian Deaf/hearing family!
Now I'll go ahead reading around AD... You may not know it, but you're a great source of inspiration for us

 

[jillio]

What a great post! I am so glad that things are going so well for your son and your family. Keep up the great work, and thanks for sharing your journey with us.

 

[deafdyke]

and yes, seconded to jillo........it rocks that things are working out a lot better then you expected. Inclusion CAN be a good thing......I do think that parents (in general) can and should be aware that what's approreate educational placement for one part of life, might not be a good placement for later grades....Hopefully circumstances will change and you might be able to move closer to a deaf school maybe.

 

[Frisky Feline]

Glad to know it is all so positive going on with the boy. He sounds like he's a happy boy when he knows signs to communicate with you all better now. keep us posted on how he is doing.

 

[sallylou]

Wirelessly posted (droid)

Glad he's doing well. He can always switch schools later if that's best for him. I always make a decision for one year then reevaluate. Each individual child is different so the best environment depends on the child (and his stage of development).

 

[deafdyke]

Wirelessly posted (droid)

Glad he's doing well. He can always switch schools later if that's best for him. I always make a decision for one year then reevaluate. Each individual child is different so the best environment depends on the child (and his stage of development).

and I think that's the best advice ever for parents of dhh or blind/low vision or other low incidence disabilty kids......Be openminded as to educational placement......who knows?

 

[messymama]

Thanks for welcoming us back! Of course I'd be happy if he could go to a Deaf school later on... It's not a problem of us not wanting it, more that those schools don't really exist here :roll: It's Land of Oralism, you know. The only school that has a deaf program is 2 hours away and it is a public school, with only up to 3-4 deaf kids in every class, so it's not like he would be immerse in deaf culture. I think we only have one school which was an institute for the deaf and is still mainly Deaf (BUT ruled by hearing - what a nonsense), but I've heard bad things about the programs.. I'm still searching, but believe me, what I read on this forum is science fiction for us! Deaf schools with speech programs, terps... We have nothing. What i could get for my son is the best I could, and we were lucky, too, because public school has no money and they tend to deny accomodations for that reason. Anyway, when he'll be older things may have changed, and we're ready to do what's best for him.

Being in a public and mostly hearing school is not the best for him and I know it... But we're taking this chance to educate others. I hope he grows up to be always proud and confident on who he is, and educate hearing people like us parents are trying to do. We learned so much in the past two years, and we're always happy to educate others. It's not easy though... Every new person I meet, I always get tghe same two questions "Why didn't you implant him?" and "Will he ever talk at all?" :roll::roll::roll:

He will sure have a chance to learn PATIENCE...

Now our goal is to make him meet as many Deaf people as we can, use sign every day, and find ways to communicate with his sister, too. I hope they'll have a good relationship, despite she's hearing and he's deaf. They love each other so much, and she's trying so hard to overcome his natural way of closing up communications (which have nothing to do with his deafness!)! He now embraces her and kiss her sometimes and she's so very happy... He sure changed a lot in the last 6 months.

But believe me it's not easy here. 99% of the deaf kids have IC and they don't know sign language, or just know a few signs (which parents thinks is the same but IT's NOT). A great part of deaf adults have grown up oral only and they're proud of it
Schools don't offer much... So we'll try to fill tha blanks during afterschool. And we'll alway have to look at him with attention: his reactions to situations will point the right way to us. For now, he looks satisfied with what he has, thank God!
And oh my, yesterday he added to his repertory the sign for "sleep" Thanks to some signed children songs I found on youtube they're not perfect Sl, but are useful for both kids to learn new signs.

Step by step... He grows up.

 

[jillio]

Thanks for welcoming us back! Of course I'd be happy if he could go to a Deaf school later on... It's not a problem of us not wanting it, more that those schools don't really exist here :roll: It's Land of Oralism, you know. The only school that has a deaf program is 2 hours away and it is a public school, with only up to 3-4 deaf kids in every class, so it's not like he would be immerse in deaf culture. I think we only have one school which was an institute for the deaf and is still mainly Deaf (BUT ruled by hearing - what a nonsense), but I've heard bad things about the programs.. I'm still searching, but believe me, what I read on this forum is science fiction for us! Deaf schools with speech programs, terps... We have nothing. What i could get for my son is the best I could, and we were lucky, too, because public school has no money and they tend to deny accomodations for that reason. Anyway, when he'll be older things may have changed, and we're ready to do what's best for him.

Being in a public and mostly hearing school is not the best for him and I know it... But we're taking this chance to educate others. I hope he grows up to be always proud and confident on who he is, and educate hearing people like us parents are trying to do. We learned so much in the past two years, and we're always happy to educate others. It's not easy though... Every new person I meet, I always get tghe same two questions "Why didn't you implant him?" and "Will he ever talk at all?" :roll::roll::roll:

He will sure have a chance to learn PATIENCE...

Now our goal is to make him meet as many Deaf people as we can, use sign every day, and find ways to communicate with his sister, too. I hope they'll have a good relationship, despite she's hearing and he's deaf. They love each other so much, and she's trying so hard to overcome his natural way of closing up communications (which have nothing to do with his deafness!)! He now embraces her and kiss her sometimes and she's so very happy... He sure changed a lot in the last 6 months.

But believe me it's not easy here. 99% of the deaf kids have IC and they don't know sign language, or just know a few signs (which parents thinks is the same but IT's NOT). A great part of deaf adults have grown up oral only and they're proud of it
Schools don't offer much... So we'll try to fill tha blanks during afterschool. And we'll alway have to look at him with attention: his reactions to situations will point the right way to us. For now, he looks satisfied with what he has, thank God!
And oh my, yesterday he added to his repertory the sign for "sleep" Thanks to some signed children songs I found on youtube they're not perfect Sl, but are useful for both kids to learn new signs.

Step by step... He grows up.

I do quite a bit of complaining about the state of deaf ed here in America. And it is justified complaining. I would be a whirling dervish of advocacy in Italy, I fear.

I really admire your attitude and your approach in light of all the obstacles being put in your way. I'm sure your son will be fine with a mom like you.

 

[deafdyke]

Thanks for welcoming us back! Of course I'd be happy if he could go to a Deaf school later on... It's not a problem of us not wanting it, more that those schools don't really exist here :roll: It's Land of Oralism, you know. The only school that has a deaf program is 2 hours away and it is a public school, with only up to 3-4 deaf kids in every class, so it's not like he would be immerse in deaf culture. I think we only have one school which was an institute for the deaf and is still mainly Deaf (BUT ruled by hearing - what a nonsense), but I've heard bad things about the programs.. I'm still searching, but believe me, what I read on this forum is science fiction for us! Deaf schools with speech programs, terps... We have nothing. What i could get for my son is the best I could, and we were lucky, too, because public school has no money and they tend to deny accomodations for that reason. Anyway, when he'll be older things may have changed, and we're ready to do what's best for him.

Being in a public and mostly hearing school is not the best for him and I know it... But we're taking this chance to educate others. I hope he grows up to be always proud and confident on who he is, and educate hearing people like us parents are trying to do. We learned so much in the past two years, and we're always happy to educate others. It's not easy though... Every new person I meet, I always get tghe same two questions "Why didn't you implant him?" and "Will he ever talk at all?" :roll::roll::roll:

He will sure have a chance to learn PATIENCE...

Now our goal is to make him meet as many Deaf people as we can, use sign every day, and find ways to communicate with his sister, too. I hope they'll have a good relationship, despite she's hearing and he's deaf. They love each other so much, and she's trying so hard to overcome his natural way of closing up communications (which have nothing to do with his deafness!)! He now embraces her and kiss her sometimes and she's so very happy... He sure changed a lot in the last 6 months.

But believe me it's not easy here. 99% of the deaf kids have IC and they don't know sign language, or just know a few signs (which parents thinks is the same but IT's NOT). A great part of deaf adults have grown up oral only and they're proud of it
Schools don't offer much... So we'll try to fill tha blanks during afterschool. .

Step by step... He grows up.

Oh so it's oralism auditory verbal style? UGH!!!!! That is horrible. That really is horrible. You mean you don't even have oral schools like Clarke? It's awesome that you're trying to make do with the resources that you have...it just sucks that there's not a lot. I wish you were in the states! ....Oh....what about summer camps/ summer sessions at deaf schools? That might be an option!

 

[messymama]

Yes Deafdyke, oralism is the most used especially if you do therapies at the hospital. Therapists that teach speech with their mouth covered, no gestures, no lipreading... Of course to get results with profoundly deaf kids thay have to implant them. There are parents who choose a different path, but we seem to be a minority, so there's not much for us. And no summer camps as far as I know... There is one week of meeting in summer with other families with deaf kids but I never went. They basically talk about CI and such, and after all they're all hearing parents...

Really, it's a shame how Italy is dealing with deafness. Of any kind, really (late deafened almost have no help at all). Yes we have economical help... Not much, but that helps me to work less and have time to stay with my children which is not bad at all! But I think they deserve more.

The problem is, here in Italy deafness is a disability, period. Nobody knows of deaf culture, SL isn't even recognized as a real language!! There is an open fight between signers and oralists and while they fight, they're losing all the little benefits they have :roll:
We're far from having what you have there... But we'll work on that. Our children are going to make the difference. That's why I want to grow them up being very confident and strong willed They have battles ahead!

@Jillio: Thank for your words, this is the only place where I can really feel I'm understood in the way I'm growing up my child. It would be great if there were people like you here to help us parents... Who knows, I may do that someday

 

[deafdyke]

OMG, so not even oral schools? That is super sad And yeah......the sitution in Italy sounds awful!

 

[deafdyke]

and I cannot believe that auditory verbal has such a HUGE influence.......they are just utterly utterly clueless as to what life is like in the hearign world....and I can guanrttee you that a lot of the oral kids are secretly thinking " I wish I could go to school with other dhh kids!"
I wish we could effect a change in deaf ed in Italy!