Pregnant at 13, mum at 14, GCSEs at 15

[Lil_country_gal]

I agree....this is an unfortunate situation for your whole family. But I do admire your sister's sense of responsibility and maturity.

thanks we are in a huge fight right now but i will deffinitly tell her that!!!! cause all of her friends are trying to tell her to keep it and say they will help her take care of it but we know that's all bull

 

[Ariakkas]

high school teenagers do not need condoms to be thinking about sex, they are having it wether we like it or not.

its obvious your personal bias in that article reba....there is any number of ways the girl could have avoided getting pregnant...using a condom instead of relying on the nurses....or having the sense enough to know wether she was recieving a birth control or not, or abstinence, sure.

why does this have to be an "either, or" issue? can't you preach abstinence while handing out condoms? Can't you educate and still preach abstinence?

 

[shel90]

thanks we are in a huge fight right now but i will deffinitly tell her that!!!! cause all of her friends are trying to tell her to keep it and say they will help her take care of it but we know that's all bull

U are so right on that. It is bull. The idea of a baby sounds so cute to these kids but once that baby comes and all the responsibilities with it, it may not be so cute anymore. I have been there with my best friend who had a baby at 15 years old. I remember thinking the same thing only to become distant from her cuz she couldnt do as much a we could. We grew apart cuz of that.

 

[Reba]

That is so sad to you, but that is so HAPPY for her.

What is so "happy" about this situation?

" Originally Posted by VamPyroX
This reminds me of all the pregnant girls they had at my high school. They actually had a special classroom for these girls. There was one deaf girl who had 2 or 3 kids while in high school and 2 or 3 more afterwards. There was another girl who got pregnant when she was 14 years old. Eek!"

Who's going to pay for all this "happiness"?

 

[GarnetTigerMom]

Speaking of young teenagers getting pregnant so young it very hard on them. They shouldn't be having babies this young because they don't get a chance to live a normal teenage life. Whatmore they can't handle responbilites at 12 to 18. Some have to learn to grow up so fast to take care of a baby is a lot of work. It not a game and a baby it not a toy. It not just teenage girls to blame for getting pregnant. It also teenage boys need to take responbilites for their action getting the girl pregnant as well. I also suggest parents keep the line of commuications open to their kids about sex educations and forget the embarrasments about sex. Teach them the risk of sex and waitl til marriage.

 

[jillio]

high school teenagers do not need condoms to be thinking about sex, they are having it wether we like it or not.

its obvious your personal bias in that article reba....there is any number of ways the girl could have avoided getting pregnant...using a condom instead of relying on the nurses....or having the sense enough to know wether she was recieving a birth control or not, or abstinence, sure.

why does this have to be an "either, or" issue? can't you preach abstinence while handing out condoms? Can't you educate and still preach abstinence?

Telling a teen ager not to do something is usuallythe surest way to get them to do it! We need to talk honestly with our kids about sex, and teach them what they need to know to handle themselves with responsibility. It is totally unrealistic to believe that telling them to wait until marraige will prevent premarital sex.

 

[GarnetTigerMom]

Telling a teen ager not to do something is usuallythe surest way to get them to do it! We need to talk honestly with our kids about sex, and teach them what they need to know to handle themselves with responsibility. It is totally unrealistic to believe that telling them to wait until marraige will prevent premarital sex.

well, I wouldn't call waiting til marriage is unrealistic. Some people do wait until they are married, and some perfer to wait. I wish I had waited and do it with someone I truely love. But I did say keep the line of commuications open and talk about sex and be responbile about the risk and danger of sex. Some people did wait until they were married to do it the right away and some women I have known say they wish they waited. So that feeilng I wouldn't call unrealistic.

 

[jillio]

well, I wouldn't call waiting til marriage is unrealistic. Some people do wait until they are married, and some perfer to wait. I wish I had waited and do it with someone I truely love. But I did say keep the line of commuications open and talk about sex and be responbile about the risk and danger of sex. Some people did wait until they were married to do it the right away and some women I have known say they wish they waited. So that feeilng I wouldn't call unrealistic.

While I will agree that there are some who choose to wait until marraige, and do so successfully, that is not the norm. As for those who now wish they had waited, the fact still remains that they didn't wait. Most people will not wait until they are married to have sex, and that has been consistent over time. Even during the period when our values were much more conservative regarding premarital sex, it was occuring on a widespread basis (studies done in the 1930's, 40's and 50's). Just because it wasn't talked about, or wasn't admitted to doesn't mean that it wasn't occurring.

With individuals marrying later in life, to expect that people will wait until marraige to engage in a sexual relationship is, in my opinion, unrealistic. Chances are much greater that people will not wait until marraige that they are that people will wait.

So, no, the women you have spoken to have a feeling that is not unrealistic. But that feeling also occurs after they have already engaged in premarital sex. Hindsight is 20-20. I'm certain there are any number of teenagers who also say, once they have experienced the consequence of being pregnant at a young age and not married, say they wish they had waited. But the fact is, they didn't. Feeling regret after the fact does not appear to prevent premarital sex. And telling teenagers that they will be sorry later is ineffective because no matter how many negative consequences they are warned of, teenagers, by nature of their developmental stage will always believe, "That was you. It won't happen to me."

 

[shel90]

While I will agree that there are some who choose to wait until marraige, and do so successfully, that is not the norm. As for those who now wish they had waited, the fact still remains that they didn't wait. Most people will not wait until they are married to have sex, and that has been consistent over time. Even during the period when our values were much more conservative regarding premarital sex, it was occuring on a widespread basis (studies done in the 1930's, 40's and 50's). Just because it wasn't talked about, or wasn't admitted to doesn't mean that it wasn't occurring.

With individuals marrying later in life, to expect that people will wait until marraige to engage in a sexual relationship is, in my opinion, unrealistic. Chances are much greater that people will not wait until marraige that they are that people will wait.

So, no, the women you have spoken to have a feeling that is not unrealistic. But that feeling also occurs after they have already engaged in premarital sex. Hindsight is 20-20. I'm certain there are any number of teenagers who also say, once they have experienced the consequence of being pregnant at a young age and not married, say they wish they had waited. But the fact is, they didn't. Feeling regret after the fact does not appear to prevent premarital sex. And telling teenagers that they will be sorry later is ineffective because no matter how many negative consequences they are warned of, teenagers, by nature of their developmental stage will always believe, "That was you. It won't happen to me."

I agree because even after my friend having a baby at 15 and seeing all the hardships she had to endure afterwards, I still went ahead and had sex in my senior year of high school. I remember thinking, "Pregnancy wont happen to me." What my friend went through should have been a very good lesson for my circle of friends and I but nope it wasnt.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I am glad to know that Kizzy receive her mother's loving support to take care of her baby to let her continue her education to fulfill her dream wish. Kizzy is very lucky to have mother!

I am wondering about the parents of the father of Kizzy's baby? Do they support Kizzy when their son reject Kizzy & her child?

It's sad to see that Kizzy lost her friends but it's good for her to find out herself what kind of friends they are. They are no friends but ignorant and closed minded.


Yes I can understand how Kizzy feeling because my mother had me when she was 17 years old. She got support from her parents (my Grandparents) to take care of me. They urged her to continue her school but my mother choose to marry my Dad... End divorce... My mother urged me to not hurry up to get married and have babies yet until I am ready...

 

[Reba]

Something puzzles me.

Fifty years ago, school girls got no sex education or access to birth control at school. And yet, there were far fewer unwed pregnancies.

Now, girls can get sex education at school, on the web, and on TV. They have much easier access to birth control. So why are there so many more unwed pregnancies now than 50 years ago?

I thought sex ed in schools, and easy access to birth control was supposed to reduce unwed pregnancies. What happened?

 

[jillio]

Something puzzles me.

Fifty years ago, school girls got no sex education or access to birth control at school. And yet, there were far fewer unwed pregnancies.

Now, girls can get sex education at school, on the web, and on TV. They have much easier access to birth control. So why are there so many more unwed pregnancies now than 50 years ago?

I thought sex ed in schools, and easy access to birth control was supposed to reduce unwed pregnancies. What happened?

Were there fewer unwed pregancies, or just more "pre-term babies"? Perhaps more shotgun weddings? Perhaps more people simply got married prior to the baby being born, but conception prior to marraige is still evidence of premarital sex.

 

[Reba]

Were there fewer unwed pregancies, or just more "pre-term babies"? Perhaps more shotgun weddings? Perhaps more people simply got married prior to the baby being born, but conception prior to marraige is still evidence of premarital sex.

That could account for some but not that many. Also, most of those "had to get married" situations were still older than the 13 - 15 year olds that we read about now.

 

[GarnetTigerMom]

Something puzzles me.

Fifty years ago, school girls got no sex education or access to birth control at school. And yet, there were far fewer unwed pregnancies.

Now, girls can get sex education at school, on the web, and on TV. They have much easier access to birth control. So why are there so many more unwed pregnancies now than 50 years ago?

I thought sex ed in schools, and easy access to birth control was supposed to reduce unwed pregnancies. What happened?

I would not mind the school have sex education classes. But to give out birth control pills to my kids, No way. Not without my permission as a parents. I would prefer my child see own doctor first for safey if she and he want birth control but boys can get condoms anywhere. The pills you have to get permission from doctor to fill out. I am prett sure 50 years ago some girls did get pregnant and have to be force to be married. The old saying " you made your bed and you lay in it! "

 

[jillio]

That could account for some but not that many. Also, most of those "had to get married" situations were still older than the 13 - 15 year olds that we read about now.

Agreed. But it is also known that onset of puberty and the menses are occrring earlier and earlier. This could account for the age difference. Bodies are maturing faster, but the brain is not. Consequently, we have kids that look older than their years, but don't have the maturity level to deal with the situation this puts them in. And 50 years ago, getting married at 16 or 17 was quite common.

 

[Reba]

Agreed. But it is also known that onset of puberty and the menses are occrring earlier and earlier.

Do you have some empirical data for that? I'm not doubting the general theory but I would feel better about it to see the actual ages charted and compared.

What is the average age for girls now? What was it 50 years ago?

... And 50 years ago, getting married at 16 or 17 was quite common.

So I've heard but I haven't seen the stats on that.

My parents were married in 1946. My dad was age 27, and my mom was age 21.
My dad's sister was 23, and her husband was 30, in 1945. My dad's brothers were 23 and 21 when they married. My mom's sister was 21, her husband was 31. My mom's brother was 24, wife 19.



Edit:

I just answered my own question by looking this up:

http://www.factmonster.com/ipka/A0005061.html

It looks like the median age for first marriages since 1890 has been in the 20's.

 

[jillio]

Do you have some empirical data for that? I'm not doubting the general theory but I would feel better about it to see the actual ages charted and compared.

What is the average age for girls now? What was it 50 years ago?



So I've heard but I haven't seen the stats on that.

My parents were married in 1946. My dad was age 27, and my mom was age 21.
My dad's sister was 23, and her husband was 30, in 1945. My dad's brothers were 23 and 21 when they married. My mom's sister was 21, her husband was 31. My mom's brother was 24, wife 19.



Edit:

I just answered my own question by looking this up:

http://www.factmonster.com/ipka/A0005061.html

It looks like the median age for first marriages since 1890 has been in the 20's.

The median is an average. In order to arrive at a median age of 20, there are is also a significant number of marraiges below that age, as well as above that age. Do these figures also include second marraiges? That would skew the results.

I did a quick check with a nursing instructor at school....according to the text she consulted, the average age for onset of menses in the 1950's was 14. The average age of onnset in the 1990's was 11.

 

[Reba]

The median is an average. In order to arrive at a median age of 20, there are is also a significant number of marraiges below that age, as well as above that age. Do these figures also include second marraiges? That would skew the results.

It was first marriages only.

I did a quick check with a nursing instructor at school....according to the text she consulted, the average age for onset of menses in the 1950's was 14. The average age of onnset in the 1990's was 11.

And during the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries it was between 15-16 years old. Supposedly, people were marrying younger during those times. So what does that prove? Either the age at onset of menses is irrelevant to marriage age, or people weren't really getting married at a young age in large numbers back then.

Just for curiosity, I looked up the marriage ages of several of my 17th century ancestors. Again, the average was early to mid twenties for first marriages.

Maybe all my ancestors were "late bloomers".

 

[jillio]

It was first marriages only.



And during the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries it was between 15-16 years old. Supposedly, people were marrying younger during those times. So what does that prove? Either the age at onset of menses is irrelevant to marriage age, or people weren't really getting married at a young age in large numbers back then.

Just for curiosity, I looked up the marriage ages of several of my 17th century ancestors. Again, the average was early to mid twenties for first marriages.

Maybe all my ancestors were "late bloomers".

LOL on the late bloomers. While I will agree that age of onest of menses is perhaps unrelated to marraige age, it is relevent to the age one is able to conceive and give birth.

 

[Reba]

LOL on the late bloomers. While I will agree that age of onest of menses is perhaps unrelated to marraige age, it is relevent to the age one is able to conceive and give birth.

Got it.