Please Read!!! NEED HELP!

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whattamom

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I am the mother of a deaf 9 year old son. I am going through a custody battle and I need help getting the judge to understand the importance of raising a deaf child. I learned my child was deaf when he was 1 yrs old and I immediately learned and taught him sign language. When he was three I implanted him so he could have all options. I continued to sign to him. He is now 9 and does want to wear the Implant due to headaches, he said he would rather sign with mom. The problem is their father is trying t o take them to save on child support. He never learned to sign and cannot communicate with our son. He has signed our other son up for sports and such but not the youngest because he can't communicate well enough to know what he wants to do. He also forces him to wear the implant. My baby wants to come home so badly and misses the close communication with me. I am hoping to get as many letters as I can from people expressing the importance of a deaf child living with a parent that he can communicate with. I also take him to deaf events and have deaf adult friends as role models for him. I sign him up for sports and can interpret whenever needed. Please HELP! Letters can be sent to lovin_holland@yahoo.com

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Amber Shannon
 
Thank You. I have to get that little boy back. He is living a lonely world right now.
 
I will write the letter but need to know if our letters will have any merit since we are strangers? Iam a teacher for the deaf so I know how critical communication is to the child's development but I will some questions answered before I use my title. Thanks.
 
Thank You!

shel90 said:
I will write the letter and as a teacher of the deaf, hopefully my letter will hold some more validity. What a shame this is happening!!! When do u need the letter?
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I need it by tomorrow night. The idea to post this on the internet just came to me today. Their father is a Police Officer so I have to come up with unique ways to get my son back. If you know of anyone who would like to write a letter please pass on my email. The mediator interviewed him a few months ago and they didnt bother getting an interpreter. She said that she could understand that he kept say "with mom, with mom." Hopefully they will get an interpreter for the trial. That baby is in a lonely world right now...I have to get him back! Thank you so much!
 
shel90 said:
I will write the letter but need to know if our letters will have any merit since we are strangers? Iam a teacher for the deaf so I know how critical communication is to the child's development but I will some questions answered before I use my title. Thanks.
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I'm sure they will have merit. I am trying to help the judge understand deafness and the importance of having clear communication with a parent. He can't go home to his Dad and tell him about his day or the bully at school. He waits till he see's me on the weekend and just explodes with information. I need the judge to understand how lonely he is. I think if others who understand deafness will explain that she will know thats its not me using deafness as a ploy to get him back. I have worked hard for him. I have started a deaf play group in the area so he can go to the park and play with other children who speak his language. I also take him to deaf events and introduce him to deaf professionals. I want him to know that he can be whatever he wants to be. I allow him to play any sports and I coach and interpret when needed. I am telling you this so you can see that I am a good mom and advocate but right now I'm up against a beast and need help. It breaks my heart everytime he leaves.
 
By law, the court has to provide for the HoH or Deaf, an interpreter.

You request it, they have to provide it, if they do not they are breaking the law.

As for the mediator not having an interpreter provided for your son, that person may have broken the law, unless you did not request for one.

This is all I have to provide but it should help in some form.

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Read page five of this documentation, it lists the trauma that could be caused by communication barriers, among other things.

I really hope this helps.

And Best of Luck to you, from my heart to yours.
 
Thank you for the info. I have read it and will take it to court. I did ask for an interpreter and I will be filing a complaint. The mediator said she could "figure" out what he meant just fine. She was too busy flirting with my ex husband to really care about my request. When he speaks all the hearing people just smile and nod yes, but really don't know what he is saying. He is always disappointed because he asks his dad to do fun things and again his dad just smiles and nods so my son thinks he is really going to do those things and his dad has no idea what he promised. I know this is common with deaf children but it just upsets me every time I think about it.
 
See if you can get as many post as you can get in this situation. And print it out. I may or may not hold any merits. But it does speak out voice from Deaf people and how important it is for a child to have a communication mode. If ASL is his first language. He should be allowed to continue to use it. The father does not sign with him it will make it very difficult and harm his social skills. I feel it would be harmful to allow a child that has ASL as their first language to be uprooted to be Oral only at that age.


I feel that he is already Nine years old and is communicating very well with you. You will also have to prove the fact he is only doing this to get out of paying child support. I do feel for you.
 
he wont say it's to save money but I know it is. He have never been involved with the kids before. He thinks because he is a Police Officer that he can do what he wants.
 
Whattamom................you may want to contact your state's branch of NAD for some support. They may be able to help you with the legal support.
You may also want to contact the American Society for Deaf Children: American Society for Deaf Children. They have a listserv......not sure if I've ever seen anything like your current precadimate on the listserv....but maybe if you posted you could get some help. Archives of PARENTDEAF-HH@LISTSERV.KENT.EDU
 
whattamom said:
he wont say it's to save money but I know it is. He have never been involved with the kids before. He thinks because he is a Police Officer that he can do what he wants.
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If you can show evidence that he was not involved with the kids until now. That may be your best bet. Do not just focus on your Nine year old's deafness. Even thou it plays a role on it as well. You have to use everything you have in court.

I wish you the best. Custody battles are never easy.
 
deafdyke said:
Whattamom................you may want to contact your state's branch of NAD for some support. They may be able to help you with the legal support.
You may also want to contact the American Society for Deaf Children: American Society for Deaf Children. They have a listserv......not sure if I've ever seen anything like your current precadimate on the listserv....but maybe if you posted you could get some help. Archives of PARENTDEAF-HH@LISTSERV.KENT.EDU
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It may help..

Whattamom If you have an attorney that is in their right mind.. They will request a continuance.... to give you more time to gather your evidence.
 
If he is a police officer then everyone should know better that police officer's schedule is hectic.
 
Sent the letter to you...good luck!
 
I'm sorry you are going through this situation. I hope you'll be able to pave way to get the judge to understand the underlying problem that it is just not about what the parents want but what the child wants as well.

Other members on this thread has gave excellent advices and information. I think, also, in order for this, you may want to show and/or obtain information as to why you feel that your son is better off with you than he is with his father not just because he is deaf but because of his critical needs for his education/communication atmosphere. If you are able to prove that, you can also shed some light on it? It's just a thought.

Good Luck.
 
:wave: Frisky Feline

Every parent is busy with the job they have, whether it be police officer, doctor, fireman, secretary, cook, or gas attendent. What have you.

A parent should still make time for their child, with or without disabilities. Deaf or Not, HoH or not. However, a child that is special still needs more attention and care than normal.

This is a mother that is concerned for the welfare of her Deaf Child. If he, the father, does not have the time or the inclination to spend the extra care and attention for his son, then he should consider letting his son's mother have him.

Otherwise, then there will be problems for that child.
 
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