Please help....I'm hearing and I have a HUGE crush on a shy, deaf guy!

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BizzyBoddy91

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Ok so I'm a hearing young lady and I've had a crush on this guy I work with since last February and he happens to be HOH and insanely shy! I'm shy myself so it took every ounce of courage I had to give him my number in March. He texed me back immediately and we found out that we have more in common than we originally thought! A few months later after texting back and forth nonstop and me asking him if he saw us as friends or something more (he said something more) he had a death in his family and he got depressed. He stopped talking to everybody (including me) and basically ignored me for almost 2 months. Then one night when I was walking to my car he texed me saying "I'm stupid to ignore you but I didn't know how to start back talking to you...I honestly was to shy" I told him it was ok and I wasn't upset and if he only saw me as a friend that he could tell me. He said yeah and gave me the "lets just be friends" line. Now I was fine with us being "just friends" but since he's said it his actions have been leaning toward something else. Like one day he missed work and me being the "friendly" joker that I am texed him and said "uh oh somebody is playin hookey from work lol" and he replied "Hmm you were quick to notice ;)" I brushed that text off as nothing and we kept on talking. Things got weirder from there when he brought up me training on other jobs and I jokingly replied to him "hmm well you were quick to notice lol" and he texed back "well you always check me out :)" now call me crazy but I think that was flirting! And now it's gone from words to touching! I've noticed he always has to touch me in some kind of way weather it being him nudging me, or coming up from behind me and poking at my waist (I'm ticklish) ,or touching my shoulder, one day we were standing in line together at Subway and he just grabbed my hoodie and pulled me toward him. Oh and I've also noticed that he's ALWAYS looking at me especially when I work out! And other people notice it to! Does this sound like "Just a friend"? I'm not really familiar with the deaf community and everyone I've told about this says he could be intimidated by me because I'm black and he's white, and he's deaf and I'm hearing. If this is true then how can I get him to warm up and be comfortable around me? Am I looking at things the wrong way here? How should I approach this situation?


.....I figured I'd go on this site and post my story because maybe more people that are deaf could give me a clear perspective on how I should handle this situation....I need as many opinions as possible!
 
The color of a person's skin, or their preferred mode of communication (so long as you can communicate) are irrelevant. You are picking up on nonverbals, and they often tell more than verbals.

So, enjoy. ;)
 
its no different with hearing or deaf or mixed relationships. someone has to make the first move. someone has to be the first to say lets meet for dinner. etc...


someone has to break the ice - no one will think less of you if you did . in fact he might be waiting for you.

by the way- if you want to meet in a restaurant - you need to pick one that is not busy , not on a friday night. you need a quiet place- without anybody moving around that is distracting and make it easier for the HOH to hear.

if worse comes to worse where he picks the restaurant and its on a friday- take his lead - you never know where these things lead..... :P
 
LOL like taking your shoes off under the table and playing toe-games. :lol:
 
you could say to him you like try relationship be up front....as for touching he knows tap on shoulder is enough,touching your waist be careful no man should touch waist unless invited to deaf or hearing........i just add he may have depression and within deaf world depression can be bad
 
You made me smile with this Ms. BizzyBoddy91. He sounds like a nice guy moving right along at his pace. Even though you might want the words that say more along with the action... that is too fast somehow to his mind. If you are likeing what is going on just keep on showing up.

I have been an insanely(made me laugh) shy guy for a very long time. Hold off on pushing for the words as long as you can, smiles here,, and let him feel his way along...
 
do-you-like-me-no-or-no.jpg
 
Aw, you both sound really cute together. I think he really does like you. You shouldn't rush anything. I think the death of a family member really affected him and he just wants to take things slow for now. But when the time comes, he'll definitely make a move. Right now he's just flirting with you. Enjoy it. I wish you two all the best. x
 
BizzyBoddy91 said:
Ok so I'm a hearing young lady and I've had a crush on this guy I work with since last February and he happens to be HOH and insanely shy! I'm shy myself so it took every ounce of courage I had to give him my number in March. He texed me back immediately and we found out that we have more in common than we originally thought! A few months later after texting back and forth nonstop and me asking him if he saw us as friends or something more (he said something more) he had a death in his family and he got depressed. He stopped talking to everybody (including me) and basically ignored me for almost 2 months. Then one night when I was walking to my car he texed me saying "I'm stupid to ignore you but I didn't know how to start back talking to you...I honestly was to shy" I told him it was ok and I wasn't upset and if he only saw me as a friend that he could tell me. He said yeah and gave me the "lets just be friends" line. Now I was fine with us being "just friends" but since he's said it his actions have been leaning toward something else. Like one day he missed work and me being the "friendly" joker that I am texed him and said "uh oh somebody is playin hookey from work lol" and he replied "Hmm you were quick to notice ;)" I brushed that text off as nothing and we kept on talking. Things got weirder from there when he brought up me training on other jobs and I jokingly replied to him "hmm well you were quick to notice lol" and he texed back "well you always check me out :)" now call me crazy but I think that was flirting! And now it's gone from words to touching! I've noticed he always has to touch me in some kind of way weather it being him nudging me, or coming up from behind me and poking at my waist (I'm ticklish) ,or touching my shoulder, one day we were standing in line together at Subway and he just grabbed my hoodie and pulled me toward him. Oh and I've also noticed that he's ALWAYS looking at me especially when I work out! And other people notice it to! Does this sound like "Just a friend"? I'm not really familiar with the deaf community and everyone I've told about this says he could be intimidated by me because I'm black and he's white, and he's deaf and I'm hearing. If this is true then how can I get him to warm up and be comfortable around me? Am I looking at things the wrong way here? How should I approach this situation?


.....I figured I'd go on this site and post my story because maybe more people that are deaf could give me a clear perspective on how I should handle this situation....I need as many opinions as possible!
Click to expand...

This is depressing read for me, lol... Yes, my strategy has always been, "laugh at misery". It works.

This reminds me of my naive young age. As I grew older, that idealist love died. Dunno if I'll ever have a relationship, heh :)
 
BizzyBoddy91 said:
Ok so I'm a hearing young lady and I've had a crush on this guy I work with since last February and he happens to be HOH and insanely shy! I'm shy myself so it took every ounce of courage I had to give him my number in March. He texed me back immediately and we found out that we have more in common than we originally thought! A few months later after texting back and forth nonstop and me asking him if he saw us as friends or something more (he said something more) he had a death in his family and he got depressed. He stopped talking to everybody (including me) and basically ignored me for almost 2 months. Then one night when I was walking to my car he texed me saying "I'm stupid to ignore you but I didn't know how to start back talking to you...I honestly was to shy" I told him it was ok and I wasn't upset and if he only saw me as a friend that he could tell me. He said yeah and gave me the "lets just be friends" line. Now I was fine with us being "just friends" but since he's said it his actions have been leaning toward something else. Like one day he missed work and me being the "friendly" joker that I am texed him and said "uh oh somebody is playin hookey from work lol" and he replied "Hmm you were quick to notice ;)" I brushed that text off as nothing and we kept on talking. Things got weirder from there when he brought up me training on other jobs and I jokingly replied to him "hmm well you were quick to notice lol" and he texed back "well you always check me out :)" now call me crazy but I think that was flirting! And now it's gone from words to touching! I've noticed he always has to touch me in some kind of way weather it being him nudging me, or coming up from behind me and poking at my waist (I'm ticklish) ,or touching my shoulder, one day we were standing in line together at Subway and he just grabbed my hoodie and pulled me toward him. Oh and I've also noticed that he's ALWAYS looking at me especially when I work out! And other people notice it to! Does this sound like "Just a friend"? I'm not really familiar with the deaf community and everyone I've told about this says he could be intimidated by me because I'm black and he's white, and he's deaf and I'm hearing. If this is true then how can I get him to warm up and be comfortable around me? Am I looking at things the wrong way here? How should I approach this situation?


.....I figured I'd go on this site and post my story because maybe more people that are deaf could give me a clear perspective on how I should handle this situation....I need as many opinions as possible!
Click to expand...

I am lost to why you brought up the fact that you're Black and he is White. Is that an issue with you?
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I am lost to why you brought up the fact that you're Black and he is White. Is that an issue with you?
Click to expand...

Two reasons:

1. Liberals.

2. Labeling theory (you know, those lame socio-psychology classes where they teach you the 'stereotyping' thoery..)
 
:hug:I only brought up race because one of my close friends suggested that the race card might have something to do with him being timid around me, but now I know that race has nothing to do with it! I have noticed that he has begun to come out of his shell a bit around me! I guess its just a test of patience and time.....I REALLY like this guy! Deaf or not I think he's AWESOME and I have never met anybody quite like him before.....He's a challenge but I actually enjoy a challenge because most guys are so easy and make it obvious what their intentions are! This one is the complete opposite!!!
 
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