It could be...
Dear diary...
Last night I had a dream that I was floating on a cloud... but then it turned out that cloud was a marshmallow... I started eating the marshmallow and awoke only to discover it was my pillow. There was drool... everywhere... It was so.... gross... Like, how am I supposed to get a date if I am eating pillows imagining and dreaming they are marshmallows in my sleep! :roll:
As if that wasn't terrible enough, I went to work and tripped over myself in front of this really cute new girl... UGH... what is wrong with me!? Of course when I tripped I laughed about it and did the nervous "ASL and speak" simultaneously as I nervously try to compensate for my temporary retardation and lack of grace that I never seem to have! Like she UNDERSTANDS ME! Walking away cursing in Romanian I'm sure just added to the ultimate confusion. *facepalm* So, that went swimmingly.
Later on in the day, I realized I forgot to put on underwear... This, did not go well... Can we say awkwarrrrrrrrrd?
Note to self: Please always remember to wear underwear.
I daydreamed in the lunchroom that I had super power laser beams in my eyes and could zap all the idiots into dust... Just a moment inside my head...
A man stopped me in the lobby of the ER as I was clearly in a rush on my way to the back with a sterile mask on and all scrubbed up and thought it was rather important to ask me to help him print his boarding pass... OMGERD FUUUUU!!!
Oh let me tell that man to please hold on, his finger will grow back... no worries! ( This one really happened )
This could TOTALLY be a diary!