personal question related to verbal abuse...

Steel X

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as you know, I've said earlier this past summer that my mom'll be divorcing my soon-to-be ex-stepfather because she was tired of him controlling her, treating her like an idiot, calling her names, verbial abusing, physical abusing, emotional abusing, etc...as he was like that with her 10 years and finally decided to pull the plug and leave him for good, which I find something to say "FINALLY! now we can move on with our own lives!" you know I never really trusted him that much for the past 10 years after he hit me, threatened me, and yell at me like some kind of shitty macho bastard of the house, etc...the worst time ever (nearly 6 years ago) was after my grandfather's funeral he went berserk when he told a preacher that the burial ground looks too small for my grandfather and then my mom told him to hush and then he just made a stupid face at my mom, "I'm trying to talk here!" then around night time when we go back to my hometown, I was sleeping in the back of the van while I hear mom and tony yelling and screaming like crazed moneys wanting more food, etc...as I try to sleep, I still couldnt sleep because of his yellings going though my ears I finally get up and tell him to SHUT THE FUCK UP! then my mom turned around and said "dan stop please just get in the back and keep resting" then tony went "what?! what did he say? what did you say?! you want a piece of me?!" etc...he just keeps on yelling and threatening me as I can't take it anymore he just wants me out of the van and ditch with my sister's car as my sister is following us in her car to hometown though, then later on, my mom wanted to get into my sister's car because tony just threw a fist in my mom's mouth, leaving her mouth bleeding and nearly a broken tooth in her front, then when we finally got home, mom told us to get into my brother's room since it seems more safe there and then when tony got home, my mom was wrong...it's not safe at all.

tony broke down the door, then stared at my sister for a few seconds, then my sister told him that if he doesn't calm down and leave, she will call the cops then tony started threatening my sister then ran up to her and I ran up to him from behind, jumped on his back, and put my feet on the wall between my mom and my sister and trying to pull tony away from them, then he slammed me against the left wall, and hit my elbow and I fell, then andrew started kicking tony and told him to get the fuck out, he grabbed andrew and threw him into the kitchen and started kicking him as hard as he can and any more kicks, he would've get broken ribs, so I looked around quickly and found a bat and I picked it up and ran to him as he was shaking my mom and I whammed him in the head as hard as possible but no luck so he got up and I run off to find somewhere that has small space and cover myself into a "shell"
tony ran to me, grabbed my shirt and ripped it, and kept hitting me perhas 4 or 5 times and anymore hits, he would've crushed my skull. my mom grabbed tony and screamed at him to stop and he wouldn't listen...he just keep hitting me and I tried to get up, but he just drags me down and hits me some more 'til he feels that it is enough...my head was so sore and my ear that he hit was in so much pain and I couldn't move my neck correctly but thats when I finally ended the fight after tony yelled at my mom saying that his head hurts so much that he can't fight anymore now...thanks to my weapon of choice, the bat. even though it was useless, but it did him quite alot of damage. my brother and sister and mom weren't really injuried but I was the one who's the most injuried. sore elbow, sore neck, sore ear, and very sore head, etc. I really thought I was gonna die when he was about to break my head open. it was one of the scariest moments I've ever had and it was just right after my grandfather's funeral. damn...so the cops came and then they didn't arrest him but told him to leave the house and he did. the cops also wrote a report on this berserk shit. the next day, my mom wanted to divorce tony but then tony begged her to give him another chance and work it out and that he wants to get as much help as possible for his anger and his behavior, etc...but sadly, even though I love my mom and she is really a good woman and good mother and all, but she was foolish enough to give him another chance. I would never give anyone another chance after such an attack like that. My mom and tony went to many therapies, even talked to the preacher that they married with, and talked them out and when he's back in the house with us *roll eyes* he still gets mad and yell at us but no physical violence or verbal abuse just yet...but afew months later, he went on verbal abusing my mom with very little mistakes that she makes, making her look like a worthless wife he ever had, etc...he always say shit to my mom like, "you are a sorry wife." "you stupid bitch!" "I'm not your damned ******!" (it comes to mind that tony is possibly a racist :roll: ) "I know why your two other husbands left you." "you fucking cunt!" etc...then tony've done afew physcial abuse as well...when tony's mad at mom about something at night while they are in bed, he tells her to get off the bed and go sleep on the couch my mom said no then tony repeats and she still says no and he blew the fuse, and kicked my mom out of the bed, then she had to go sleep on the couch. there were afew times when he pulled my mom's hair and tell her what he wants, then do it right away when I wasn't even around at that time. there were times when he would throw some dishes on the floor and those dishes were gifts from my relatives to my mom. there was one time when he smashed his wedding ring with a hammer then my mom had to waste $60 for another ring. I was so suprised that tony has actually hurt my mom more than he has hurt us and I'm just so damned pissed that I just to grab a gun and stuff it in his mouth and blow his brains away because I dont let anyone fuck with my mom and if someone fucks with my mom, then they fuck with me also. then this summer, tony went nuts again and called my mom a fucking cunt after my mom just got home from graduation when she had to intercrept for the deaf kid there and he got mad at her thinking she didnt do much work around the house when she was REALLY busy as hell so my brother andrew finally stood up and told him to shut the fuck up and apoloize to my mom and then he was like "we'll see about that!" and he quickly got up, and my mom rushed in to protect my brother, tony grabbed y mom's arm and twished her from behind and threw her to the couch and then he threw his fist toward my brother's eye and it left him a black eye and a cut and he he fell. after that he just went to sit down and keep on watching some TV. So after that day, we left the house for good. Tony has failed miserable for his marriage with my mom and he's out of our lives for good. My mom is a damned great mother and a very beauiful nice smart woman and if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't even make it through high school, help getting me a car, and even some help getting me some more clothes, food, and many more for my needs and alot of things for what I want, surely she loves to spoil me lol but I'm just very damned happy to have someone like her as a mother because she's very open minded and lets me say whatever I want in my mind and is very strict with me about treating women right and dont treat them the way tony treats my mom no fucking way! I'm irish and most irish mothers teach their boys to be very nice to ladies lol. my mom has been married three times and yet, it's not entirely her fault that she has failed three marriages. her first husband had an affair behind her back...her second husband (my real dad) was a complete physco and is a heavy smoking addict, etc...and then my stepfather was much, much worse. an raging, uncontrollable, stupid ignorant ape! so now my mom is still seeing other people and she decided not to be married EVER again, even though after 3 times was really enough for her and she just wants to be friends with a guy for now. right now, my stepfather is still suffering from cancer and is now in a hospital in Penn with his sisters watching over him. tony and mom are now legally seperated, so that's good news...well for me that is. I dont really care much about tony anymore and it's not like I want him to die or anything but I just want him to leave us alone and thats all I ever want just for the rest of our lives. we now have some peace and quite with no name calling, no verbal abuse, no physical abuse, no threats, etc...with my mom, my brother, my sister and me, just as mature, calm cilivized human beings we just like it that way.

now, I ask you ladies...would you give your husband a second chance after he just called you a fucking cunt? because "cunt" is the filthiest and ugliest word anyone can come up with and nobody and I mean NOBODY would ever say such a word to my mom or else I just split his thoart and he would never talk again.

your opinon?
 
Wow, I'm sorry to hear what your mom and you went thru....I'm glad to hear your mom finally see the light and say enough is enough!!

No, I wouldn't give him a second chance....
 
I agree with Angel that I'm glad that your mom finally saw the light and won't stay with him anymore. I'm really sorry for what you and your mom went thru. If my husband calls me nasty names like your step dad did, I wouldn't give him second chance either. I told my husband if he ever hits me, I'm out of his life for good. He never hit me, not even once.
 
1) No respect for your family.
2) Your Mom is better off without him!
3) He will lose all his family and friends who knows him well.
4) He is a jerk!

Violence is ugly!
 
{{{{after my grandfather's funeral he went berserk when he told a preacher that the burial ground looks too small for my grandfather and then my mom told him to hush and then he just made a stupid face at my mom, "I'm trying to talk here!"}}}}

Maybe you should be in your stepfather's shoes for a moment....
Did your stepfather help pay for funeral's cost?
If he did, maybe he felt the ground was too small... he paid so much
for that spot.
If he didn't pay, then maybe he had respect for your grandfather.

He made that stupid face because he felt he had no respect
from your mother.

I'm no expert :dunno: because I had problems too in family...
And I wish I could have handle the situation differently.

Instead of saying "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" You should have said something else, such as "will somebody pull over, I gotta vomit, I don't feel so good."
Or say anything to distract them... but don't say anything provoking.

If you can't distract them, then don't get involved.

That is your mother, she is an adult... and that is her problem, she was married 3 times.
She picked the men and she married them.
It isn't the "men" fault 100%. It has something to do with her too.

It isn't your problem. You worry about you, Dan. Don't let
that keep you from having happiness. If you have a woman or plan
to get a woman, then have fun dating and have a good healthy protective sex life... think about marriage later if you want to.

If anyone disagree, then speak up.

If a man insulted me, yeah I'll dumped him.
 
now, I ask you ladies...would you give your husband a second chance after he just called you a fucking cunt? because "cunt" is the filthiest and ugliest word anyone can come up with and nobody and I mean NOBODY would ever say such a word to my mom or else I just split his thoart and he would never talk again.

Absolutely, I would not to give him a second chance. I had been going through verbal and physical abuse for 12 years during my first marriage. I gave him many second chance but he never changed. Also, he had been affair bunches of women. I gave him other chance. He never changed !!

At once - someone who abuse you. He/she would never stop

someone who affair/ cheat on you. He/she would never stop

someone who stole your money or credit card. He/she would never stop.

I would go to the court to get a restraining order against your step-Dad to stay away from your mother and family. He is worthless. He needs alot of help to see a specialist psychiatrist. Your mother needs a lot of your support and protect. Divorce Tony !!
 
Damn, sounds like my family. I have to be honest, if I had a man like that I'd beat the brakes off him and kick him out the door. I grew up in all of that loud and sometimes physical crap, I refuse to live in it again.
 
Sabrina said:
Absolutely, I would not to give him a second chance. I had been going through verbal and physical abuse for 12 years during my first marriage. I gave him many second chance but he never changed. Also, he had been affair bunches of women. I gave him other chance. He never changed !!

At once - someone who abuse you. He/she would never stop

someone who affair/ cheat on you. He/she would never stop

someone who stole your money or credit card. He/she would never stop.

I would go to the court to get a restraining order against your step-Dad to stay away from your mother and family. He is worthless. He needs alot of help to see a specialist psychiatrist. Your mother needs a lot of your support and protect. Divorce Tony !!

I'm with Sabrina!!!!!

I have been thru hell with my exh and have given him too many second chance. My case aint worse then Sabrina. But been thru like hell. My previous relationship was a short one and he did tried to control me. But I wouldnt let him so I finally kicked him out of my life. So I knew I would be happy if I stay with him that long enough.

Hell NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I aint giving any man a second chance. Say bye bye!!
 
I am with Sabrina, too...

I was a victim of verbal abuse from my 1st ex husband for 18 months and been married for 18 months and he called me many names and it hurt my feelings, and he even said those names and like f**k you, b***h, and so on in the publics and even front of my own family too. I was hurt. I have thought about killing myself because he made me look ugly.

I filed for a divorce and I never forgave him for what he did to me, and he begged me for 2nd chances, and I told him NO, and filed for divorce and got finalized in 9 months. I am glad I am free from him.

Finally I am married to another guy and the father of my child and he treats me like a queen and I like that feeling, my current husband respects me and agree with me when it come to decision and agreements.

Verbal Abuse is not healthy and please don't give any more chances for another try with a companion who have history of verbal abuse and domestic violences. Get your bag and yourself and get out before you get hurt.
 
Don't give him 2nd chance..
Hell no way!

Let your mother need deserved peace as well...

Steel, least you feel better and kept contuine support moral w/your mother and siblings too.
*wink*

Everyones are agrees.. and which the best for your mother doesn't need give 2nd chance w/his jerk hubby!
 
First of all, I'm very sorry to hear what you had been through, Steel. :hug: I know what it alike because I had been through the same as you in the past thru my mom's 2nd husband.

I'm really glad that your mother wake up and consider her own future.

Yes I'm with Sabrina. Tony need a professional help but still no chance to get your mother back for 2nd chance. Too late!

I would never give my husband 2nd chance after what he did to take my good esteem away.


Steel's post
your opinon?

I took Heatgirl's post to add my opinion. I hope you don't mind.

Heatgirl's post.
Maybe you should be in your stepfather's shoes for a moment....
Did your stepfather help pay for funeral's cost?
If he did, maybe he felt the ground was too small... he paid so much
for that spot.
If he didn't pay, then maybe he had respect for your grandfather.

Yes, you could be right but... If he disagree to this then talk to preacher private, not to the public only if he pay funeral cost. If not, he has no right.


He made that stupid face because he felt he had no respect
from your mother.

And plus take Steel's mother's good self-esteem away.

Instead of saying "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" You should have said something else, such as "will somebody pull over, I gotta vomit, I don't feel so good."
Or say anything to distract them... but don't say anything provoking.

That's what step dad did is high self-esteem to boast to kill his wife's good esteem...

That is your mother, she is an adult... and that is her problem, she was married 3 times.
She picked the men and she married them.
It isn't the "men" fault 100%. It has something to do with her too.

I'm afraid yes. I know what because I witnessed my mother and her 3 husbands. My sibling & I become co-dependent on that terrible situation. I decide to break it and think myself and my own future. All what I read Steel's post and know straight way that he and I are the same boot what we witnessed our parent's domestic volience.


It isn't your problem. You worry about you, Dan. Don't let
that keep you from having happiness. If you have a woman or plan
to get a woman, then have fun dating and have a good healthy protective sex life... think about marriage later if you want to.

Well, I can understand where Steel come from. I know Steel love his mother so much and want to protect her mother. Yes, it's important to break his co-dependent and consider his own future.
 
Steel,

I apology what your mother went through, Nobody deserved those type of treatment by anyone. Never give him a second chance, no matter how many times he apologies, he will strike again. You and your mother don't need to hear an explanation from him your mom owe herself a life, and you do too. But, do not hold a grudge against him, just forgive him for what he did, that doesn't mean you will forget what your stepfather did, it gives you and your mother a chance to start over with a brand new life without him in it. I wish you and your mother the best of luck, It takes time to heal your mothers and your wounds but it will get better in matter of time. :hug: Good luck!


And I agree with most members here, No second chance. Your mom and you don't need to live like that. ;)
 
Steel -- im glad u, ur sibs and ur mom got out of that situation -- 2nd chances should not ever be given period -- nobody should tolerate ANY kind of abuse be it mental, physical or emotional -- it is so destructive to a person as well as to families
 
WOW your soon to be ex stepfather is big time as JERK!!! Glad your mom is out of him for good! i am sure your family sister, your brother and you will be so quiet and spend time with them than Tony. That was so awful!!

My stepfather was abused me - slap my head, slap my butt with their belt or hand.. I was hit him like slap and hit him back but he hit or slap me back till my mom tell me go to bed grounded that I told her he did hit me in anyhow she doesnt believe in me and sent me to bedroom then went to school telling my counsellor in dorm till i was suprised that my cousnellor tell social worker and then social worker asked me if he did that to me slap and hit then i told them the truth till they warning on my step father if he do that again then he will charge for that then i get home on friday after school from dorm and school. My stepfather didnt hit or slap me every weekend i am glad no more till finally my mom left him for sprate (sp) for 7 or 8 yrs till finally DIVCORED!!!! yayay no more hit or no more slap at me .. he never do that to my 3 sisters only me. Now I notice it my step father doing good very well now my mom and him are friends now cuase of my yougest sister that his daugther is my sister .. he is going good very well now glad not with my mom anymore :)
 
Tamara said:
3) He will lose all his family and friends who knows him well.

My ex husband's family turned against me so for his friends because I refuse to give him another chance when I gave him 15 years of chances...

So it not always the case where he would lose his family and friends, sometimes they don't see the whole truth but only part of it by feeling sorry for him....
 
HeartGirl said:
{{{{after my grandfather's funeral he went berserk when he told a preacher that the burial ground looks too small for my grandfather and then my mom told him to hush and then he just made a stupid face at my mom, "I'm trying to talk here!"}}}}

Maybe you should be in your stepfather's shoes for a moment....
Did your stepfather help pay for funeral's cost?
If he did, maybe he felt the ground was too small... he paid so much
for that spot.
If he didn't pay, then maybe he had respect for your grandfather.

He made that stupid face because he felt he had no respect
from your mother.

I'm no expert :dunno: because I had problems too in family...
And I wish I could have handle the situation differently.

Instead of saying "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" You should have said something else, such as "will somebody pull over, I gotta vomit, I don't feel so good."
Or say anything to distract them... but don't say anything provoking.

If you can't distract them, then don't get involved.

That is your mother, she is an adult... and that is her problem, she was married 3 times.
She picked the men and she married them.
It isn't the "men" fault 100%. It has something to do with her too.

It isn't your problem. You worry about you, Dan. Don't let
that keep you from having happiness. If you have a woman or plan
to get a woman, then have fun dating and have a good healthy protective sex life... think about marriage later if you want to.

If anyone disagree, then speak up.

If a man insulted me, yeah I'll dumped him.

I doubt he has even paid a penny for my grandfather's funeral. I believe it was my grandmother and my mom, my aunts and uncles who paid for his funeral. (remember this is my mom's side we are talking about)

So perhas your right that it isn't always the men's fault 100% but my mom always apoloize or do anything to return a favor after some kind of mistake she makes but whenever my stepfather did something wrong, he doesn't really apoloize and thinks whatever he did, he thinks he's always right.
whenever he said he said he's sorry, he never really mean it. If you are sorry, then you have to prove it. you can't just say "sorry" and nothing has even changed abit...that's just worthless crap.

Tony's just too sensentive and gets offended easily, even when you are just jokin about something, he just yells at you and threatens you if you say something like that again, he'll abuse you. :roll: no joke. He just has a pretty lousy sense of humor and I will never understand why my mom loved him but at least I'm just glad she finally woke up and smelt the coffe and left him for good.

it's sure a fucked up world we lived in, but at least there's always something better for all of us later on.
 
^Angel^ said:
My ex husband's family turned against me so for his friends because I refuse to give him another chance when I gave him 15 years of chances...

So it not always the case where he would lose his family and friends, sometimes they don't see the whole truth but only part of it by feeling sorry for him....


my ex stepfather's family were pissed at us when we left him even though he's still suffering from cancer and my step aunt, (who is a total bitch) insulted at my sister saying that my mom turned her back on him for nothing and he's all sick and weak now...what the hell does she mean by "NOTHING??"

We helped him as much as we can...take him to the hospital more than once, give him as much medication as much he needs, and give him as much food as he needs, etc...how can it be nothing when we did all the shit for him and he just treat us like we didnt do fucking enough for him!?

for all these 10 years, he threatened us, control us, yell at us, verbal abuse us, physical abuse us, and all that shit and all these 10 years he always treat my mom like an idiot and she just has to say this is NOTHING!?!? fuck that penn dutch bitch. these ppl thinks they know everything and hardly know what's right from wrong anyway. they dont seem to care that he has went too far when he threw a punch at my brother and it left him a black eye and a cut.

So I dont give a fuck what his family thinks of us...at least they are history already. and my mom and I'll be moving back to my old house where he has stayed for awhile while my mom and I had to move to an apartment and wait for him to move out by himself and he did so we won't get back in 'til early december. we are already packing some things now and starting a new and normal life now.
 
With sabrina on this one my dad abused me and so did 3 of my boyfriends and as for if anyone of them called me a cunt hell i'd leave that instant. But i think the fact is you love them so much you think you can change them but they just keep hurting you steel i'm glad you were there for your mother and i'm glad your family hasn't been seriously injured keep your head up and keep smiling cause your one tough guy
 
Your stepfather is a terrible terrible man. Steele, you're 21 and he hit you 6 years ago (you were age 15), wasn't that child abuse? The police officer didn't arrest him for that? Your mom gave him a 2nd chance?
If my mom gave a man 2nd chance, after he abused me, I will never
forgive my mother, because I would think she doesn't care about my
feeling and must not love me enough, but love that man more....
I would have runaway from home and tell the cops.
 
wow i am very sowwy to hear abt this.. i am glad that ur mom divorce him soon...


i WONT give other chance PERIOD! :thumbd:
 
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