Paying money for sleepovers?

shel90

shel90

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One of my daughter's friends stayed with us for the weekend from Friday to today. Orginally, she was going to stay until yesterday but my daughter asked me if she could join us for her farewell dinner last night and everyone was fine about it and then after dinner, she ended up staying overnight again. On Friday, after work, knowing that my daughter was having a sleepover party with a few friends, I bought snacks, breakfast stuff, and drinks for the girls. Then, by last minute, one of the girls joined us for dinner at a restaurant last night so we paid for her meal. No biggie. Well, today, before she went back home, the girl tried to give me money for all the food she ate her. I told her that it wasnt necessary and to keep it. She said that her mom makes all of her friends pay for the foods they eat at her house whenever they stay overnight. I asked her to repeat it because I wantedto make sure I wasnt misunderstanding her. She said that her mom has a rule that if she invites any of her friends over, they have to bring money to pay for any of the snacks, breakfast foods, or drinks they consume at her house. I was speechless but I didnt want to offend her so I told her that I dont expect that and thanks for offering.

Has anyone ever experienced that or do you have rules that your children's friends have to pay for whatever they eat at your house? I asked my mom if she did that when I was a kid or if any of my friends' parents did that. My mom said only if they go to the movies or any events that costs money but never for paying for eating foods at anyone's house.

So, has anyone experienced that or have rules like that? Just curious..
 
No, I haven't run into this. When I invite a child to my home or out to a restaurant, I pay for the food. The same for movies. Often, a mom will send a child with extra spending money for a toy or for candy at the movies. Presumably a person who is invited will reciprocate in kind in the future. Maybe this mom is strapped for cash. In that case, better not to extend an invitation than to charge a child for food in her home. I feel sorry for the child because it's going to cause social problems for her.
 
sallylou said:
No, I haven't run into this. When I invite a child to my home or out to a restaurant, I pay for the food. The same for movies. Often, a mom will send a child with extra spending money for a toy or for candy at the movies. Presumably a person who is invited will reciprocate in kind in the future. Maybe this mom is strapped for cash. In that case, better not to extend an invitation than to charge a child for food in her home. I feel sorry for the child because it's going to cause social problems for her.
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Yea, I am thinking if she does invite my daughter over, I am probably be inclided to say no because I dont want to pay for the food. Or maybe, send my daughter with a lunch box and she eats her own food.

It was just very bizarre having her friend try to give me money.
 
Hmmmm....haven't run into that either. We have mentioned to another parent that we were going skating, and she asked how much she needed to send, and we told her not to worry. We pay for everything when we take the child out, but I expect that if you are there too, you would pay for you and your child.
 
I've got 3 horses eating at my house! (boys)...and it seems every weekend 1 or 2 of their friends spend the weekend, at times I'll have 5 boys eating here....I've fed the neighborhood!
There are times when we are "low" on food, right before I'm to buy more groceries....especially low on snacks/soda.....and if one of my boys says they want to invite a friend for a sleep-over, I've said, "as long as they bring their own snacks/soda."

I would never ask for $$ from them. Or accept any $$ from them. There is one kid whose parents will not allow sleepovers at their house, but he's allowed over here, and is here an awful lot! So I feed him! I don't feel it's fair, but he's just a kid.....and I've no plans to ask his parents why they don't repricate (sp), meaning do the same for my son....I've just let it go.
A gallon of milk can be wiped out in the AM at breakfast, so can a box of cereal, even 2! It gets expensive, so I'm going to cut down on the sleepovers! It's gonna be worse when summer gets here....
 
rockin'robin said:
I've got 3 horses eating at my house! (boys)...and it seems every weekend 1 or 2 of their friends spend the weekend, at times I'll have 5 boys eating here....I've fed the neighborhood!
There are times when we are "low" on food, right before I'm to buy more groceries....especially low on snacks/soda.....and if one of my boys says they want to invite a friend for a sleep-over, I've said, "as long as they bring their own snacks/soda."

I would never ask for $$ from them. Or accept any $$ from them. There is one kid whose parents will not allow sleepovers at their house, but he's allowed over here, and is here an awful lot! So I feed him! I don't feel it's fair, but he's just a kid.....and I've no plans to ask his parents why they don't repricate (sp), meaning do the same for my son....I've just let it go.
A gallon of milk can be wiped out in the AM at breakfast, so can a box of cereal, even 2! It gets expensive, so I'm going to cut down on the sleepovers! It's gonna be worse when summer gets here....
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That's why I dont let my daughter have sleepovers too often because I cant afford to feed more kids. However, when I do plan on letting her have sleepovers, I try to put extra money away for extra food because I cant imagine asking the kids to bring money to pay for the food. I couldnt believe what my daughter's friend told me about her mother's rule about the kids paying for the food they eat at their house. Wow...I wasnt sure if it was a common rule that I missed out on knowing.
 
If a kid is spending a lot of time in a home, I don't consider it rude to ask him to contribute sodas or snacks. After a while, a kid becomes like part of the family. It depends on how well you know the kid and how much time he spends in your home.

There's nothing wrong with scaling back on expensive junk food which isn't good for the kids either. Serve popcorn brought in bulk instead of chips. Skip the sodas and make some lemonade. Make the kids do it and it gives them an activity.

What I really hate is the gift shake down when each family as to contribute $10 or $15 toward a gift card for a coach or leader. It happens frequently and it adds up. I don't expect people to give me gift cards for my volunteer work. I wouldn't have the nerve to aggressively hit up people for "voluntary" contributions like some of the parents do. The economy is bad and people shouldn't be trying to make people donate or buy stuff right now.
 
sallylou said:
If a kid is spending a lot of time in a home, I don't consider it rude to ask him to contribute sodas or snacks. After a while, a kid becomes like part of the family. It depends on how well you know the kid and how much time he spends in your home.

There's nothing wrong with scaling back on expensive junk food which isn't good for the kids either. Serve popcorn brought in bulk instead of chips. Skip the sodas and make some lemonade. Make the kids do it and it gives them an activity.

What I really hate is the gift shake down when each family as to contribute $10 or $15 toward a gift card for a coach or leader. It happens frequently and it adds up. I don't expect people to give me gift cards for my volunteer work. I wouldn't have the nerve to aggressively hit up people for "voluntary" contributions like some of the parents do. The economy is bad and people shouldn't be trying to make people donate or buy stuff right now.
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Yes, I hate those too!
 
Wow, that's a first that I've ever heard of any mom expecting guests to pay.

It's basically a rule of being a host to guests... that the host provide things for the guests. There's nothing wrong with the host asking people to bring stuff like snacks or whatever, but not to expect them to bring money.

If a mom is going to let her kid invite friends for a sleepover, then she's making herself and her daughter hostesses. With that, they should be ready to provide things for their guests that are coming over. What the mom can do is have the daughter ask friends (or the mom ask her daughter's friends' moms) to bring snacks like chips, drinks, etc. Sometimes, she might get lucky and one of those other moms may be kind enough to offer to help pay for pizza or whatever is being offered for dinner that night.
 
I think the mother was kinda being rude to the guest in her house. Now, if it is something the kids want... like ordering pizza, yeah, I can understand.. but for her to make any dinner so they can be fed (no matter what it is), then no, she should not make them pay because they are guest. It's like making them pay for water when they could get thirsty. Hunger and thirst is something you don't want your guest to suffer in your house.

If you feel they are wasting your money eating from your house, buy fruits... believe me, if they are hungry enough, they'll eat it. If not, they won't touch it. It's easier to pig out on junk foods.
 
No I have never experienced that. I guess the mother allows anyone to come over sleep too often thats where it makes her realize and ask for $$. That's so sad if parents ask kids to do that. i hate that but of course ask them to say thank you and help etc but discussing about the money issue that is very awkward between kid and the kid of the parents.
 
I think it is sending a wrong message to the kids. They will grow up to think it is appropriate.

Kind of like people who invite others to their house for a party to sell things like tupperware and makeup.
 
The money spent on Kids' friends are not on the parent's budget, they have to pay for it.
 
Never heard of this kind. I consider it as rude to ask parents to pay for kid's food if their kid is invited to go to a friend's house or a sleepover.

If they go out to movies or such activities then yes, it's okay to bring their own money for that.
 
shel90 said:
One of my daughter's friends stayed with us for the weekend from Friday to today. Orginally, she was going to stay until yesterday but my daughter asked me if she could join us for her farewell dinner last night and everyone was fine about it and then after dinner, she ended up staying overnight again. On Friday, after work, knowing that my daughter was having a sleepover party with a few friends, I bought snacks, breakfast stuff, and drinks for the girls. Then, by last minute, one of the girls joined us for dinner at a restaurant last night so we paid for her meal. No biggie. Well, today, before she went back home, the girl tried to give me money for all the food she ate her. I told her that it wasnt necessary and to keep it. She said that her mom makes all of her friends pay for the foods they eat at her house whenever they stay overnight. I asked her to repeat it because I wantedto make sure I wasnt misunderstanding her. She said that her mom has a rule that if she invites any of her friends over, they have to bring money to pay for any of the snacks, breakfast foods, or drinks they consume at her house. I was speechless but I didnt want to offend her so I told her that I dont expect that and thanks for offering.

Has anyone ever experienced that or do you have rules that your children's friends have to pay for whatever they eat at your house? I asked my mom if she did that when I was a kid or if any of my friends' parents did that. My mom said only if they go to the movies or any events that costs money but never for paying for eating foods at anyone's house.

So, has anyone experienced that or have rules like that? Just curious..
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s-t-i-n-g-y!
 
As a child/young teenager I went to many sleepovers and I did not have to contribute money for anything e.g meals, play areas, food for the house etc.
 
I hate when my "friends" want me to buy stuff. I always give them a specific reason why I don't want the products. There's a guy on FB trying to sell coffee.
 
I've not run into this, but my kids are still too young for sleepovers.

IMHO, it's not right. If you can't/won't afford common courtesy when hosting a guest, don't have guests. I get the feeling this mom is one who keeps a running total and could probably provide an itemized bill at the end of your stay. Do her kid's birthday parties have a cover charge? Maybe you can get a discount if you bring a good enough gift.

When I was a kid, my mom would always make sure I would take special snacks to sleepovers or rent a couple movies before hand. My friends often did the same. It was never a condition of the sleepover, though.

I wonder what would happen if her daughter invited a child over who could not afford to pay? A kid's packing up to go home and mom wants to settle the bill and kid has no money. Can they 'run a tab' until they can settle up or are they not permitted back?

In the end, it's a horrible example to make for your kid. I'd not let my kids visit there because of this, and if asked, wouldn't be shy to say why. It's rude and uncalled for.
 
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