Parent of Newly Diagnosed Hard of Hearing Girl

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Lollipop

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Hi,

My three and half year old failed a hearing screen at the speech pathologist's office a couple of weeks ago. Her language not too bad, but her articulation is awful, so I'm not really surprised she has hearing issues. My half-brother has a unilateral loss and his outer ear is deformed. I also have a great-aunt who is hard of hearing, but I'm related to her through marriage and I don't think that's how genetics works.:giggle: I have couple of questions while I wait for our Thursday appointment with the audiologist. I'm obsessing about this, but I suppose that's normal. Hopefully, by the time the appointment comes, I'll her life planned out in 15 minute increments through her 60th birthday. :eek2:

1. Does anyone have any experience with late identified children? She passed her infant screen, so I presume she wasn't hard of hearing then. She doesn't have a history of ear infections or anything, so I suspect this is a progressive loss. I also suspect it started when she was about 2, but I'm just going on my gut feeling here. How can they tell if the loss is progressive--do you just have to wait and see if it gets worse?

2. Any thoughts about her audiogram:
hazelsaudiogram.png


3. Her speech is poorly articulated now and I'm leaning toward a Deaf school and ASL for the whole family. Has anyone else made that decision and how has it worked out for you? We live in a rural area so it will be a commute for her, but from what I've read about older kids and teens, it is better to give them the foundation in sign so can thrive socially. I'm less concerned about her ability to get along in the hearing world and more concerned with giving her both a strong internal "voice" and a grounding in language from which to build.

Thanks so much!
 
WELCOME!!!!!!!! This is SO BEYOND COOL!!!!!!! I am SO excited that we have a new parent of a HOH kid, who is interested in ASL AND Deaf Ed! Those of us who are very often don't get the advantage of ASL and Deaf Ed! TOO COOL!!!!!!
Don't panic that the loss wasn't caught until she was three. Until really recently, it wasn't that unusual for losses to be caught until we were toddlers. It's impossible to know if a loss is progressive or not.
What state are you in? Have you contacted your state's Deaf School?
Deaf Schools and programs ROCK!!! Yes, it's a commute but attending Deaf School is SO worth it! Especially early on! You will NOT get better services ANYWHERE ELSE....and b/c her language isn't delayed, she will respond VERY well to speech therapy....and b/c you've made the decision to go bilingal, she will be bilingal AND be able to function both with and without her hearing aids.
This is SO cool!
 
Hi Deafdyke,
Thanks for the response. We're in Indiana, so we're looking at Indiana School for the Deaf. We're getting our testing there on Thursday and I hope for a tour afterwards. They have to test her hearing and then they have an intake process we'll go through to test that she is a visual learner and figure out how she's doing otherwise. I'm looking forward to meeting everyone there. I'm a bit nervous about her riding in a school bus and being gone for so long, but it does seem that Deaf adults and older kids report preferring that environment, so I'm willing to give it a try and see how it goes. We'll have free tuition for the rest of the family to learn sign at a school about an hour away, so we'll do that, assuming the loss is confirmed.

Can I assume by your name you are gay too? I was worried about that--if she is also a lesbian I want her to be able to find a partner in the Deaf world if she wants. Is the Deaf gay community doing well? Is it a healthy subculture that she can join if she wishes when she is older? It seems like it might be hard to find a Deaf gay partner. Is it? I just want her to have the same oppurtunities my hearing child has, including to find a good partner when she's older.

Is there anything else I need to be doing now? I'm reading Mask of Benevolence and I have the Politics of Deafness on my shelf next. Anything else I should read or learn about as we go forward?
 
I was a late identified child when I was a baby though :)
I was diagnosed with hearing loss in 96 so I had hearing aids since I was 6 months old!

as U can see that I have cool looking hearing aids now
 
I am a Deaf education teacher who works at a BiBi program (ASL and English). You are giving your child the opportunity that many of us never had. Exposure to both worlds. She is lucky that you are willing to take that avenue. :hug:
 
Lollipop said:
Hi Deafdyke,
Thanks for the response. We're in Indiana, so we're looking at Indiana School for the Deaf. We're getting our testing there on Thursday and I hope for a tour afterwards. They have to test her hearing and then they have an intake process we'll go through to test that she is a visual learner and figure out how she's doing otherwise. I'm looking forward to meeting everyone there. I'm a bit nervous about her riding in a school bus and being gone for so long, but it does seem that Deaf adults and older kids report preferring that environment, so I'm willing to give it a try and see how it goes. We'll have free tuition for the rest of the family to learn sign at a school about an hour away, so we'll do that, assuming the loss is confirmed.

Can I assume by your name you are gay too? I was worried about that--if she is also a lesbian I want her to be able to find a partner in the Deaf world if she wants. Is the Deaf gay community doing well? Is it a healthy subculture that she can join if she wishes when she is older? It seems like it might be hard to find a Deaf gay partner. Is it? I just want her to have the same oppurtunities my hearing child has, including to find a good partner when she's older.

Is there anything else I need to be doing now? I'm reading Mask of Benevolence and I have the Politics of Deafness on my shelf next. Anything else I should read or learn about as we go forward?
Click to expand...

Lollipop, that is AWESOME!!!!! Again the bus ride is long....but again it's SO worth it especially for ealry childhood! She'll thrive! Tell the school district that you want your child to be bilingal in both ASL and speech...that you want to take advantage of the resources for a School for the Deaf....and those resources are very valuable. Another book you might want to add to your collection is On the Fence: The Hidden World of the Hard of Hearing by Mark Drolsbaugh Products for Deaf, Hard of Hearing and Sign Language...... "Someone" on this forum has a piece in it ;)
 
Just wanted to say I am SO happy to see a parent embracing her child's deafness, GO LOLLIPOP! Seriously. Deaf school and ASL for the family are two VERY important, beneficial decisions you are making for your child's sake.

I started to lose my hearing at age 4 due to Large Vestibular Aqueduct Syndrome - I was born with it but didn't lose my hearing until then. Unfortunately my mother chose to make me as culturally hearing as possible - at the time they told her that I would not get anywhere in life going to a deaf school or signing, so I was forced to go to regular schools and had to lip read and learn to talk. I didn't learn sign language until I was in college. I am struggling not to be bitter over this, because not having sign language robbed me of a LOT. Despite hearing aids and later on in life, cochlear implants (which gave me brain damage), I was never able to fully assimilate or be accepted into the hearing world no matter what I did. But since I was not allowed to be part of the Deaf culture and sign, I have yet to be a part of that world either. It is very, very lonely in the middle.

My mother should have done as you are doing, supporting Deaf culture and deaf school and sign language. I would have had a much better life, even now, if so. It would have made such a difference.

So THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for doing this for your child!!!!!
 
Lily7 said:
Just wanted to say I am SO happy to see a parent embracing her child's deafness, GO LOLLIPOP! Seriously. Deaf school and ASL for the family are two VERY important, beneficial decisions you are making for your child's sake.

I started to lose my hearing at age 4 due to Large Vestibular Aqueduct Syndrome - I was born with it but didn't lose my hearing until then. Unfortunately my mother chose to make me as culturally hearing as possible - at the time they told her that I would not get anywhere in life going to a deaf school or signing, so I was forced to go to regular schools and had to lip read and learn to talk. I didn't learn sign language until I was in college. I am struggling not to be bitter over this, because not having sign language robbed me of a LOT. Despite hearing aids and later on in life, cochlear implants (which gave me brain damage), I was never able to fully assimilate or be accepted into the hearing world no matter what I did. But since I was not allowed to be part of the Deaf culture and sign, I have yet to be a part of that world either. It is very, very lonely in the middle.

My mother should have done as you are doing, supporting Deaf culture and deaf school and sign language. I would have had a much better life, even now, if so. It would have made such a difference.

So THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for doing this for your child!!!!!
Click to expand...

Your story is a mirror image of mine except for the cochlear implant. I know how you feel.
 
Thanks

Thanks for the kind words everyone. It really surprised me to learn that ALL parents don't go this route. It doesn't make any sense to me to place a child (and eventually an adult) in position where they can only communicate through technology. We'll get hearing aids and probably do lots of speech if she is confirmed, but I think language should be organic. It shouldn't cost her money, it shouldn't run out of batteries, and it shouldn't break or get eaten by the dog. She needs to be able to communicate and we need to communicate with her in the best language for her. And for us that looks like ASL :)
 
Lollipop said:
Thanks for the kind words everyone. It really surprised me to learn that ALL parents don't go this route. It doesn't make any sense to me to place a child (and eventually an adult) in position where they can only communicate through technology. We'll get hearing aids and probably do lots of speech if she is confirmed, but I think language should be organic. It shouldn't cost her money, it shouldn't run out of batteries, and it shouldn't break or get eaten by the dog. She needs to be able to communicate and we need to communicate with her in the best language for her. And for us that looks like ASL :)
Click to expand...

In the early 70s, my mom took the other route (oral-only) for me but took the ASL route for my brother. Families can be so complicated sometimes.

I am just glad you are thinking of your daughter's needs, not your own.
 
Lollipop said:
Thanks for the kind words everyone. It really surprised me to learn that ALL parents don't go this route. It doesn't make any sense to me to place a child (and eventually an adult) in position where they can only communicate through technology. We'll get hearing aids and probably do lots of speech if she is confirmed, but I think language should be organic. It shouldn't cost her money, it shouldn't run out of batteries, and it shouldn't break or get eaten by the dog. She needs to be able to communicate and we need to communicate with her in the best language for her. And for us that looks like ASL :)
Click to expand...

Exactly! Finally a parent who gets it! She doesn't need life to be an eternal speech therapy session. I think too it's amazing that you reconize the social-emotional advantages too! Sometimes HOH kids do well socially and emotionally....but I do think that a lot of the pro "mainstream and oral" experts really are clueless as to the downsides of oral only and mainstreaming.
It does sound like her speech therapy won't require intense therapy. Which rocks....she'll only need the kind that I had in elemetary school. (had spoken language delays in preschool/kindergarten but caught up. still have significent speech issues)
 
Lily7 said:
Just wanted to say I am SO happy to see a parent embracing her child's deafness, GO LOLLIPOP! Seriously. Deaf school and ASL for the family are two VERY important, beneficial decisions you are making for your child's sake.

I started to lose my hearing at age 4 due to Large Vestibular Aqueduct Syndrome - I was born with it but didn't lose my hearing until then. Unfortunately my mother chose to make me as culturally hearing as possible - at the time they told her that I would not get anywhere in life going to a deaf school or signing, so I was forced to go to regular schools and had to lip read and learn to talk. I didn't learn sign language until I was in college. I am struggling not to be bitter over this, because not having sign language robbed me of a LOT. Despite hearing aids and later on in life, cochlear implants (which gave me brain damage), I was never able to fully assimilate or be accepted into the hearing world no matter what I did. But since I was not allowed to be part of the Deaf culture and sign, I have yet to be a part of that world either. It is very, very lonely in the middle.

My mother should have done as you are doing, supporting Deaf culture and deaf school and sign language. I would have had a much better life, even now, if so. It would have made such a difference.

So THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for doing this for your child!!!!!
Click to expand...

Oh and good on you for a perilingal kid (a kid who lost their hearing while learnign language) for speaking up.....I think perilingal and postlingal dhh kids can vary tremendously with their response to ASL and Deaf culture. Some of them are more like a HLAA/"hearing impaired" type of kid...and there's nothign wrong with that...But there are still kids who identify strongly with Deaf cultrue and ASL. ....and you do bring up a good point Lily....I know on another messagebaord the parent of young dhh kids said that in talking to adult oral deaf kids, they said they never felt like they fit into the hearing world...I think that says something, and that it's an area that is sorely neglected.
 
Lollipop said:
Thanks for the kind words everyone. It really surprised me to learn that ALL parents don't go this route. It doesn't make any sense to me to place a child (and eventually an adult) in position where they can only communicate through technology. We'll get hearing aids and probably do lots of speech if she is confirmed, but I think language should be organic. It shouldn't cost her money, it shouldn't run out of batteries, and it shouldn't break or get eaten by the dog. She needs to be able to communicate and we need to communicate with her in the best language for her. And for us that looks like ASL :)
Click to expand...

It surprise most us not all parents choose same you choose :)

Good for you! Your daughter lucky girl.
 
Lollipop said:
Can I assume by your name you are gay too? I was worried about that--if she is also a lesbian I want her to be able to find a partner in the Deaf world if she wants. Is the Deaf gay community doing well? Is it a healthy subculture that she can join if she wishes when she is older? It seems like it might be hard to find a Deaf gay partner. Is it? I just want her to have the same oppurtunities my hearing child has, including to find a good partner when she's older.

Is there anything else I need to be doing now? I'm reading Mask of Benevolence and I have the Politics of Deafness on my shelf next. Anything else I should read or learn about as we go forward?
Click to expand...
Yes, indeedy, I am gay. For some reason it's not too unusual among dhh women. There's even a deaf lesbian organization! And that is AMAZING that you have thought so far ahead. It took me years to come to terms with the fact that I'm gay.... and it rocks that you have prepared for the possibilty your daughter may be gay. I have a friend who grew up in a stereotypical far leftie household, her mom is gay (and yes, that is Hannah and Nancy for the Alldeafie regulars) and she herself came out as gay when she was 15....the kicker, a few years later when she was 17, she fell in love with a guy and was all confused. (and gotta say Nancy raised Hannah correctly if something like that happened LOL)
But even if she's straight, being fluent in ASL and going to Deaf School will give her a HUGE advantage socially. You have NO idea how many mainstreamed and oral kids I know who've struggled with intimate realtionships. Even with my obviously gay screenname I've been hit on by deaf mainstreamed guys wanting a girlfriend MANY times!
 
Quick question, are there regional dhh programs in Indiana as well? I know this is jumping ahead a bit, especially since you don't even know what the Deaf School is like.....but one option you could pursue education wise, is having her attend Deaf School for preschool and kindergarten,(b/c the early childhood programs at deaf schools ROCK) and maybe even first and second grades, and then if the school reccomends mainstreaming, you could find a regional dhh program, so she could have the advantage of both Deaf Ed and a hearing school.....there's a multitude of options. I think too that parents (and I'm speaking in general) should realize that they need to keep an open mind as to educational placement. Especially around middle and high school...Even oral and honors kids can and do often suffer socially ....not to mention that a lot of deaf mainstreamed kids are lumped in with the other sped kids.....which is why mainstreaming will never really work for the majority of dhh kids.
 
Lollipop said:
Thanks for the kind words everyone. It really surprised me to learn that ALL parents don't go this route. It doesn't make any sense to me to place a child (and eventually an adult) in position where they can only communicate through technology. We'll get hearing aids and probably do lots of speech if she is confirmed, but I think language should be organic. It shouldn't cost her money, it shouldn't run out of batteries, and it shouldn't break or get eaten by the dog. She needs to be able to communicate and we need to communicate with her in the best language for her. And for us that looks like ASL :)
Click to expand...

I believe that you are in the minority who choose ASL over oral method for the child. It seems to me that it is more often that parents choose the oral method/CI path over ASL. I have always believe it is best to do ASL for education so one doesn't miss a word in the classroom. If the child can speak, good for that child. It is not the end of the world if a child can't speak as the child can always write.

You are doing everything you can learn about Deaf culture. Those books are very good. Keep up the good works and she is real lucky to have you.
 
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