Parants of CI children.

[shel90]

You never know shel. Maybe one day. When I brought up bi-bi at my sons school they looked at me like a dear in the headlights. There was another thing that I didn't like when one of his teachers (from a couple of years ago) told me that she doesn't know ASL. She only knew MCE's which I thought was odd for a teacher in deaf ed.

That's because they know you are becoming very well educated and knowledgeable about Deaf ed and u probably know more than they do!

All of my deaf ed teachers that I had growing up didnt know any ASL nor MCEs cuz they adhered to the strict oral-only philosophy. I find it ironic cuz when I got to high school, my high school assigned a sign language terp for my best friend and I. We both didnt know any signs at that time and my Deaf ed teacher in high school approved of it even though she was against sign language herself. Doesnt make any sense. I wonder if they did that to prevent a possible lawsuit.

 

[Bottesini]

oh... sorry you misunderstood me. I was not trying to debate anything and only stating what I believe to be true. I seriously hope that something as insignificant as that really didn't decline your day. Please have a good day.

That's ok. Since you quoted my post, it seemed like you were implying that I needed correction.

I am glad to know I just misunderstood you.

 

[rockdrummer]

That's ok. Since you quoted my post, it seemed like you were implying that I needed correction.

I am glad to know I just misunderstood you.

oh no... not at all. I didn't intend to correct anybody... Sorry for the misunderstanding.

 

[rockdrummer]

That's because they know you are becoming very well educated and knowledgeable about Deaf ed and u probably know more than they do!

Thanks but the more I learn the more I realize that I don't even know how much I don't know. Hopefully that makes sense.

 

[Frisky Feline]

That's because they know you are becoming very well educated and knowledgeable about Deaf ed and u probably know more than they do!

True.

could it be possible that teachers know but not pracitically it like get away with because teacher isnt familiar with that area or just in a denial? just wonder?

 

[shel90]

Thanks but the more I learn the more I realize that I don't even know how much I don't know. Hopefully that makes sense.

U know a lot more than many parents including my own! Until last year, my mom didnt even know what a CI was and she was shocked that it involved surgery. She called it surgical HAs. LOL!

 

[shel90]

True.

could it be possible that teachers know but not pracitically it like get away with because teacher isnt familiar with that area or just in a denial? just wonder?

Oh, u bet. I wouldnt be surprised.

 

[dreama]

So have I dreama. I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused for reasons I do not know yet I didn't resort to prostitution nor do I have poor self esteem. I learned how to rise above my traumas and not allow the crap my parents threw at me and a stranger who threatened my life affect me emotionally. Granted, not everyone is strong enough to do that, but many are and do not resort to dangerous, irresponsible behavior. Just because someone has poor self esteem or was raised in a bad environment doesn't mean they're going to engage in reckless behavior. Many of these individuals turn out to be fine young men and women who are well respected members of their community.

Well you did a better job then me. My self esteme was rock bottom until I discovered veganism. Now I can take pride in the fact I don't consume animal products at all.

FYI: I never had sex for money either but I did do it for free, I've also suffered mental health issues which I think were due to low self worth, and have experimented with drugs and self harming.

 

[dreama]

I think Dreama's point was that this girl had emotional issues from her bad background that needed to be addressed but instead, it appeared that they were ignored for the sake of oralism and as a result, they manifested to a point where she turned to prositution. That's my understanding. I have seen that happen to many children...their emotional needs got ignored.

Yes that's right.

 

[AlleyCat]

I would have thought having sex was with someone you wanted to be with, I didn't think it was about "oh, am I getting paid for this or is this a freebie?"

Bottom line, I think all of us are saying that various factors in anyone's life can lead them to the choices that are made. But just being oral does not make a person choose a path of prostitution.

 

[shel90]

I would have thought having sex was with someone you wanted to be with, I didn't think it was about "oh, am I getting paid for this or is this a freebie?"

Bottom line, I think all of us are saying that various factors in anyone's life can lead them to the choices that are made. But just being oral does not make a person choose a path of prostitution.

Some people do have sex with the hope of gaining acceptance, love, and respect only to end up not getting it. They use sex for the wrong reasons.

 

[Hear Again]

I would have thought having sex was with someone you wanted to be with, I didn't think it was about "oh, am I getting paid for this or is this a freebie?"

Bottom line, I think all of us are saying that various factors in anyone's life can lead them to the choices that are made. But just being oral does not make a person choose a path of prostitution.

 

[Hear Again]

Regardless, dreama's post made a sweeping generalization about deaf or HoH adults who grew up orally engaging in prostitution. She did not clarify her position as shel did in her post. The difference between what shel said (which I understand and accept) vs. what dreama said (which I don't understand or accept) is like night and day. Dreama and shel are saying two completely different things.

 

[Hear Again]

To further clarify, shel was saying (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that this kind of behavior is a mitigating factor. Dreama on the other hand is saying that it is directly associated with an oral upbringing.

 

[AlleyCat]

Regardless, dreama's post made a sweeping generalization about deaf or HoH adults who grew up orally engaging in prostitution. She did not clarify her position as shel did in her post. The difference between what shel said (which I understand and accept) vs. what dreama said (which I don't understand or accept) is like night and day. Dreama and shel are saying two completely different things.

That's exactly what I read that as too. No amount of changing things up in these past posts will change the original generalization that was made about oral adults engaging in prostitution. What Shel is saying is far more on target.

 

[Hear Again]

dreama,

You are not alone in your experiences. As you know, I also suffer from mental illness. My bipolar is thought to be caused by a combination of the 4 kinds of trauma I experienced from age 7-18 as well as other factors including those that are biological in nature. I used to have very, very poor self esteem and have been a cutter since I was a teenager. I'm well aware of the emotional impact of cutting and why people cut. My therapist and psychiatrist told me that my reasons for cutting are the "typical" reasons most people do it. That being said, my cutting behavior nowadays has more to do with my bipolar and the fact that I feel that I deserve to be punished because this is how I was raised. I also look at it as a way of having control where I ordinarily have none. In a sick sense, it also brings me pleasure because cutting allows me to release my hurt, pain and anger on myself instead of directing it towards others. I've been where you are dreama. Our experiences may not be identical, but they are similar. My point is that engaging in dangerous behavior (whatever it may be) and having an oral upbringing is a mitigating factor and nothing more. It is not the sole cause of why someone does the things they do. Making that kind of generalization lacks common sense and is inaccurate at best.

 

[Hear Again]

That's exactly what I read that as too. No amount of changing things up in these past posts will change the original generalization that was made about oral adults engaging in prostitution. What Shel is saying is far more on target.

Exactly AlleyCat.

 

[shel90]

Iam just speculating what could be the reason, that's all. Of course, it is rare that one single factor can lead someone down a destructive path. In most cases, it usually takes a combination of factors.

Even people who grew up happy and well-adjusted could still go down that destructive path.

We just never know with anyone but while they are children, teachers need to ensure that the children's emotional well-being are taken into consideration along with their academic development.

Thanks, HA and AlleyCat.

 

[Hear Again]

dreama,

It would help the discussion if you could refrain from twisting words and changing the meaning of your posts. Your original post made a direct association between prostitution and an oral upbringing which is what so many of us are calling you out on -- and rightfully so IMO.

If this was not your intent, it would have helped if you made a statement along the lines of "some people do A, B or C" instead of making a direct link between the two.

That is all I'm going to say for now because I don't want to be reported to the mods for flaming, provoking or enticing. That is not what I'm doing. I'm trying to clarify why AlleyCat, myself and others are saying the things we are in response to your posts.

 

[Hear Again]

shel,

I completely agree with you that having an oral education could be a reason. What I don't agree with is the fact that it's a sole cause of one's behavior -- especially since this person was an oral success.