Overly Affectionate

[Burst]

I have some questions to ask all of you deaf, hearing, and HOH folks. Blind people count too if they pop up here. How do you feel about someone being affectionate (having physical contact) towards you? Do you wish your partner was more affectionate or does it bother you? How much is too much for you? Is it romantic to you or is it just something to please your partner? What about spending time in bed? How do you balance it? How is it different dating hearing and deafies this way?

 

[A]

Sometimes less affectionate. Hubby is very affectionate. I do wonder if the rumor is true that deaf people like their space.

 

[TWA]

Sometimes less affectionate. Hubby is very affectionate. I do wonder if the rumor is true that deaf people like their space.

I never heard that before...

I tend to be very affectionate. Maybe too much... I like to hold hands, rub back and arms, etc., and I definitely like it to be returned. But sometimes I just do it without even thinking about it, and I know it can be annoying, so I don't take it personally when she tells me to lay off a little.

 

[sequoias]

I'm very affectionate, so is my gf and we're both deaf. It doesn't matter if they're deaf or hearing, it just depends on the individuals.

 

[A]

I never heard that before...

I read it once somewhere , especially when it said that deaf people like room to sign or see better.. I thought, "hmmm, maybe this person is right because I like my space, too" I don't like being too close to people and I've always wonder why. Then I realized maybe because my communication get cut off that way (I have to read lips and watch their body language).

 

[lmkmiec03]

I'm a big fan of personal space

I think a lot of times it depends how a person was raised. If you grow up in a family that does a lot of hugging and physical affection, you're probably more comfortable with it.

My family is not the touchy-feely type but I make sure to cuddle with and hug my 6 year old a lot

I would never want a professional massage tho. The thought of a stranger rubbing around with oils... just creeps me out :-/

 

[jinxedkitten]

I don't like being touched and I only hug if I'm forced to o_O but, when it comes to being in a relationship... I like to cuddle, snuggle, kiss, and all that jazz.

I agree with Sequoias, I personally think it doesn't have anything to do with our deafness. It's more of a nature versus nurture issue perhaps.

I do think it's important to reach a healthy balance, intimacy is fabulous but you don't want to become overly clingy as well. Cherish each kiss.. don't make it a chore or even routine. I will melt in a puddle if he kissed me out of the blue. Most women can perceive whether the kiss was initiated due to absolute sincerity or a sense of obligation. In other words... snuggle because you want to, don't snuggle to shut her up =P

 

[DGirl101]

I never heard that before...

I tend to be very affectionate. Maybe too much... I like to hold hands, rub back and arms, etc., and I definitely like it to be returned. But sometimes I just do it without even thinking about it, and I know it can be annoying, so I don't take it personally when she tells me to lay off a little.

Man.....can you rub a little of that on my boyfriend? No such thing as too much affection in my book.

I LOVE being touched, cuddled, kissed, held, definately a back rub would be nice. I like to return it too, makes me feel good and safe.

 

[DiveGirlB]

I am a hearing woman dating a deaf man, and I find that cuddling and kissing is a great way to forget about all the communication problems and misunderstandings. When we are together in bed, we can just be two people enjoying each other's companionship

 

[Burst]

I think a lot of times it depends how a person was raised. If you grow up in a family that does a lot of hugging and physical affection, you're probably more comfortable with it....

Exactly. If a mother has been affectionate towards a kid for years, then that child will grow up to become affectionate with one another.

I'm extremely affectionate and I love to give a thousand hugs and kisses everyday to a loved one. Heck, I still hug and kiss my mom. I dated a lot of hearing and deaf girls and I have been smothering them with my affection until I met a hearing girl who hated it. She preferred only sex. She was raised without parents and that explains why she wasn't comfortable with affection and romance. It wasn't working out for me because I don't want just sex. I want the whole package.

I am a hearing woman dating a deaf man, and I find that cuddling and kissing is a great way to forget about all the communication problems and misunderstandings. When we are together in bed, we can just be two people enjoying each other's companionship

That's wonderful, but I think communication is extremely important. People can face problems if there is a communication barrier in a relationship and it will eventually break if both couples don't work it out. If a problem is ignored, it'll keep coming back. Learning more sign language and gestures will really help.

 

[Shattered_Ones]

LOL...I'm so NOT the 'cuddly' , 'let's hold each other' type LMAO....no PDA....Most of the guys I've dated were kinda the same, but not quite, some told me I was cold and not affectionate enough..Um, sorry, I'm not ALL UP ON YOU...sometimes, I feel like I'm the 'man' in the relationship...I have dated one guy who was just 'over the freakin top' with the whole 'touchy-feely' thing but I kinda got used to it...so I guess it depends on your S.O.

I agree with others that it depends on your upbringing...yeah, my family is definitely not the affectionate type.

 

[~*Kaelei*~]

I am affectionate person, I like to give hugs, and all that. I even give hugs to my friends every time I see them, and I hug my family all the time. I grew up that way, my family is Extremely affectionate. So thus making me used to all affection I receive and me giving it to them. However I do like my space as well, so I like it to keep it balance.

 

[paperclip]

I don't mind affection, but I'm not huge on being public about it with people I know. I don't like to make people uncomfortable. If I am with a group of people - I am there to be a part of their their life, not touch the person beside me every 20 seconds.