Only a Quarter of Parents to Deaf Kids Know Sign Language

Beowulf said:
I know how you feel. Eventually it catches up with them, though. My parents live in an assisted-living community center, and I try to visit them every weekend. They are around 90 now, getting feeble, and it is so blamed hard to understand their speech to me. Fortunately, the receptionist knows sign language, bless her heart, and she helps me talk with my parents. The last time I saw them a couple days ago, the look of frustration in my parents' eyes was heartbreaking. They knew they somehow missed the boat.
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Ahhhh...this makes me cry! They can't back time up, but if they could, I'm sure they would. And Just knowing you still love them, regardless...bless that receptionist!
 
faire_jour said:
Again, no, if I'm at a party with 20+, it would be unlikely that I would be able to hear any conversation that was not in a face to face, extremely close range, directed at me specifically, situation.
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Here's a scenario: You go to a football party. There's 20 guys/wives watching the game. One guy yells out "Go Vikings!" Another chimes in with something else.. then a bunch "yeah !!!!" just for a lame example on my part. You can catch that .. Me? I see a bunch of people cheering, and if I've looked away for even one second, I have NO clue what just happened. We don't even need to be talking about a full conversation. It only takes an instant to feel "stupid" or wanting to slink off somewhere because everyone is having a good time and we don't have any idea.
 
AlleyCat said:
Here's a scenario: You go to a football party. There's 20 guys/wives watching the game. One guy yells out "Go Vikings!" Another chimes in with something else.. then a bunch "yeah !!!!" just for a lame example on my part. You can catch that .. Me? I see a bunch of people cheering, and if I've looked away for even one second, I have NO clue what just happened. We don't even need to be talking about a full conversation. It only takes an instant to feel "stupid" or wanting to slink off somewhere because everyone is having a good time and we don't have any idea.
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Nicely said. But the vikes suck
 
Interesting. While I am sure there is some truth to the statistics, the cynical side of me says it's Thad Starner trying to peddle his software.
 
Wirelessly posted

faire_jour said:
shel90 said:
If the child is successfully oral, why would the family need to use sign?

This what I was referring to...

Maybe these kids are oral but still suffer being left out in their environmet. I still see kids like that constantly being referred and many of my friends who work at other deaf programs say the same thing.

I know I know...there are a whole bunch of excuses so no need to go over them again.
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Here is my question, if a child can hear and understand speech (that is how I would define successfully oral, among other things) HOW are they being left out?
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I can understand my family and my friends aurally, but Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas still blows.
 
Hmm. I lost most of my hearing "friends" when I became deaf. Why? They just didn't have "the energy" to keep repeating themselves, nor did they feel that I would enjoy music or clubs or groups or even the house parties. They just did not know what to do with me. Folks I had known for years.... sigh. While it was true that I could not follow group conversations, one on ones were still cherished. Too much work to face me?? hmm.


The deaf social? I can converse with most everyone at the table. Table thumping, hand waving, attention getting, and lots of smiles. Believe me, the deaf culture is easier to understand. It is hard work with the hearies who come, but well worth it. They seem eager to learn and join. Often they are there to facilitate communication with family, friends or job.

What parent could deny their child this communication? It was hard to miss my friends, but what if it was parents? Ouch!
 
diehardbiker said:
Sad but true. Child's education begins at home not school, thats why many Deafies are really behind big time.

I had to disagree with the research stated not to blame parents. Parents has the responsibility to adapt their own children. Most hearing parents avoiding taking responsibility, their excuse? "Oh that is too hard to learn". This is the worst excuse from any parents, and is NOT acceptable.
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Agreed! Everything always starts at home.

Beowulf said:
I know how you feel. Eventually it catches up with them, though. My parents live in an assisted-living community center, and I try to visit them every weekend. They are around 90 now, getting feeble, and it is so blamed hard to understand their speech to me. Fortunately, the receptionist knows sign language, bless her heart, and she helps me talk with my parents. The last time I saw them a couple days ago, the look of frustration in my parents' eyes was heartbreaking. They knew they somehow missed the boat.
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Aww, only for them to realise it at this stage in their lives where they cannot change for you. Bless that receptionist for taking her time to terp for you and your folks. I worry about that day for my mother, although she can sign but it is not her first language.

shel90 said:
Still not getting it. My parents were involved but they thought as long as I was functioning like a hearing kid, I was fine and there was no need for ASL.

It has happened to so many families even those who are very involved. I think many here know what I am talking about. Deaf children fooling everyone that they fit in fine but when they really do not.

It was definitely an ASL/oral issue with my family and with many others whom I know.
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Agreed. Children can be the best liars around, and they will lie to cover their true feelings because they wanted to please their family until it gets too much usually around teenage age.
 
souggy said:
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I can understand my family and my friends aurally, but Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas still blows.
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I missed out a lot during childhood (my mum now realised that, feels guilty and wishes she had helped me), I HATED to go to my relatives houses for the day because all I get, I'll tell you later, never mind, not important, don't be nosey etc. I don't understand my cousins well enough (I only see them once every blue moon) and my brother being a typical boy he refuses to use his mouth the way he normally communicates with me and and goes off to play with the boys. This was/still is very isolating.

Sadly now days, as an adult I don't visit them. I only visits my granddad thats all as he's in hospital (not at home with my grandma as she always interupting us), and that's only when my friend is in the area and have the time to come with me to help with communication. Sometimes I hire my notetaker to help me but she's very expensive to use on regular basis. My granddad says he wishes he had learnt sign language.

I don't have many hearing friends (they are not really friends afterall) as they get fed up with repeating stuff/they don't invite me to events knowing that I won't be able to interact with them. The genuine ones are who stuck by me are those who are willing to pick up the phone for me and call insurance company on my behalf without making faces/grumbles and invites me to events and lets me be myself, they even learnt to lipread/basic signs and knew that I would love to be there with them.

When a child says "yes", does that mean they understand you? I went through it and a teacher at school realised that I was misunderstanding a lot of things and since then they double checked by making me repeat what they are saying.

So not all oral deaf children are successful..... they do need interaction with the deaf environment and help at some stage in their life.
 
When I am with family and I am chatting with some of them, they overhear another conversation and jump in leaving me lost and puzzled to what happened to our conversations with them and then they would return to the conversation I am having with them. I hate that so much because I didn't know what was happening while everyone else did so I get turned off because I don't do that to them but yet they constantly do that to me.

With ASL, I can see what's happening and see all the social cues..no problem at all.

As for asking people to repeat for me, I get lots of Knever minds" or "I will tell you laters."

Something a hearing person will never ever understand. Ever. Fj thinks she understands but she really has no idea.
 
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FJ, I applaud you and your efforts with Miss Kat. I do wish more parents are like you. I wish parents in the past fought for their children's rights to equal accessibility like you did for MissKat but that's not to be. There are many members that do butt heads with you and it is because you provoke them incessantly. Sometimes I feel it would benefit you and Miss Kat's future if you listened much more than glorify your daughter's accomplishments. As a mother you have a right to boast, that's a G*d-given right but it'd help this community when you put your listening eyes on.
 
I was very close to my parents and they didn't know sign language. And we were able to get by without them. That is not to say they still didn't make adjustments in other ways such as facing me when conversing with me, doing a little more than usual mouth articulation and were also a little more expressive than they usually were with other people. And you're also talking about the "pre-CI" days.

It still comes down to the "one shoe does not fit all" mentality.
 
rockin'robin said:
Being late-deafened, I wish my family would have learned to sign also. Even my brother....he would not ever talk to me via phone, said he could not "talk with a machine".....Now as I've gotten older, and my eyes not as sharp as before, I'm relying on ASL much more, and my kids know it, not fluently, but they know how to communicate with me.
As for us late-deafies...my guess is that we're expected to keep on "acting normal"....(that's the way it was said to me!)....So the family keeps on talking, friends keep on talking....no one wants to do the ASL....the family gets exasperated when you ask "what's going on?"...as if it's the dumbest question evah!....
One word for it all....sad.
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They usually think I'm being rude to ask such a nosy question and yet they are talking about it in front of me and other people.
 
faire_jour said:
Do you think that hearing people can listen to 20 people talk at the same time and follow it? :eek3: That is impossible. I wouldn't be able to understand a group of more than 5 people and my hearing is perfect.
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I never could understand why people get together in a circle or even go out to eat. They must understand them somehow.
 
Beowulf said:
I know how you feel. Eventually it catches up with them, though. My parents live in an assisted-living community center, and I try to visit them every weekend. They are around 90 now, getting feeble, and it is so blamed hard to understand their speech to me. Fortunately, the receptionist knows sign language, bless her heart, and she helps me talk with my parents. The last time I saw them a couple days ago, the look of frustration in my parents' eyes was heartbreaking. They knew they somehow missed the boat.
Click to expand...

Both of my parents had cancer in the lungs. It was very hard for them to raise their voice and speak clearly to me. They sometimes don't want me there because they know it is too much work and it is easier to have a hearing person. ... If only they learned ASL while they were young......
 
I'm reading a lot about what doesn't work, how many of us (and those mentioned in the original article) have been let down by families who didn't or couldn't sign.

What would be the "right" path and how would you make it happen? So, a deaf child is born ... and everybody mobilizes to a new ideal plan. What happens?

child: exposed to ASL input (how/where?)
parents: begin ASL classes? fluent by when? Classes available where/how?
families:
neighbors:
teachers:
employees of local businesses:
 
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