Online Relationship?

I am going to say NO to Long Distance Relationships. I do not consider online dating as a real relationship. It isn't. There is no real touch in online dating.
From my own experience, I learned ALOT out of a 'online' relationship. It involved so much of emotional and mental breakdowns. I didn't set up my own boundary within him. I almost lost my friends for a no good guy who is 3,000 miles away. Can you imagine? I was confused as hell.
In my thoughts and of everyone else, it was a huge waste of my time being on my sidekick all the time. Never again I will date anyone online to miss out the good moments in life. By the way, I do thank the asshole for a lesson learned. ;)

For anyone who is in a LDR, here are my advices:
1. Be very aware how you are feeling and always set your own boundaries. That means excluding yourself from the sidekick or computer. Take a break and take up your own hobbies and best of all, get yourself surrounded with good friends.
2. Make a mental note that it is a long distance and be prepare if one suddenly gives up; no matter how comfortable you are with the person with his/her words and thoughts. Don't alway verify the person is being 100% honest. It is extremely hard to stay in that way. The true possible says 2 out of 5 will make it through the rough patches.
3. Most important of ALL....listen to your heart and don't you forget that you got a life.
 
SeattleDeafGrl said:
I am going to say NO to Long Distance Relationships. I do not consider online dating as a real relationship. It isn't. There is no real touch in online dating.
From my own experience, I learned ALOT out of a 'online' relationship. It involved so much of emotional and mental breakdowns. I didn't set up my own boundary within him. I almost lost my friends for a no good guy who is 3,000 miles away. Can you imagine? I was confused as hell.
In my thoughts and of everyone else, it was a huge waste of my time being on my sidekick all the time. Never again I will date anyone online to miss out the good moments in life. By the way, I do thank the asshole for a lesson learned. ;)

For anyone who is in a LDR, here are my advices:
1. Be very aware how you are feeling and always set your own boundaries. That means excluding yourself from the sidekick or computer. Take a break and take up your own hobbies and best of all, get yourself surrounded with good friends.
2. Make a mental note that it is a long distance and be prepare if one suddenly gives up; no matter how comfortable you are with the person with his/her words and thoughts. Don't alway verify the person is being 100% honest. It is extremely hard to stay in that way. The true possible says 2 out of 5 will make it through the rough patches.
3. Most important of ALL....listen to your heart and don't you forget that you got a life.
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DITTO to that !!!!! Well said it Seattle!
 
SeattleDeafGrl said:
I am going to say NO to Long Distance Relationships. I do not consider online dating as a real relationship. It isn't. There is no real touch in online dating.
From my own experience, I learned ALOT out of a 'online' relationship. It involved so much of emotional and mental breakdowns. I didn't set up my own boundary within him. I almost lost my friends for a no good guy who is 3,000 miles away. Can you imagine? I was confused as hell.
In my thoughts and of everyone else, it was a huge waste of my time being on my sidekick all the time. Never again I will date anyone online to miss out the good moments in life. By the way, I do thank the asshole for a lesson learned. ;)

For anyone who is in a LDR, here are my advices:
1. Be very aware how you are feeling and always set your own boundaries. That means excluding yourself from the sidekick or computer. Take a break and take up your own hobbies and best of all, get yourself surrounded with good friends.
2. Make a mental note that it is a long distance and be prepare if one suddenly gives up; no matter how comfortable you are with the person with his/her words and thoughts. Don't alway verify the person is being 100% honest. It is extremely hard to stay in that way. The true possible says 2 out of 5 will make it through the rough patches.
3. Most important of ALL....listen to your heart and don't you forget that you got a life.
Click to expand...
You made some good points but honestly, there isn't any different in IRL. I mean, even in IRL, people can be very dishonest (lies, affairs, etc.. that is already very common before internet invented or open to the public). Some women or men are very 'control' people, these lovers don't have their lives and stuck with them for years and years. And many more... Non-computer savvy women/men already complained about men/women that they met them IRL like clubs, parties, etc etc.

Honestly, I don't see any difference between IRL and online. But I must admit that there is only one difference between IRL and online: no physical. That's only one that is lack of or missing so far I see.

One thing I don't understand, people are so quick to judge the online issue while they were okay'ed with traditional methods like pen pals and such. Some people married or meet in person thru pen pal letters.. and such.

The biggest issues about any form of relationship: trust and common sense. Women tend to pick wrong men (meanies, distrustful, bad, etc) while men tend to pick wrong women (bimbos, betrayer, etc). Yes, looks can be good factor for anyone to pick or grab but being obsessed about best looks always backfired upon you. Always.
 
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on line dating

I Disagree To Date With Someone From On Line B/c A Person Can Be Hypocrite Or Liar...i Prefer To Meet In Person To Get To Know Who That Person Is...it Is Easier To Tell Whether A Person Is Lying Or Telling You The Truth By Reading A Person's Body Language...it's A Crazy World Out There And You Don't Even Know Who The Person Is...
 
Magatsu said:
You made some good points but honestly, there isn't any different in IRL. I mean, even in IRL, people can be very dishonest (lies, affairs, etc.. that is already very common before internet invented or open to the public). Some women or men are very 'control' people, these lovers don't have their lives and stuck with them for years and years. And many more... Non-computer savvy women/men already complained about men/women that they met them IRL like clubs, parties, etc etc.

Honestly, I don't see any difference between IRL and online. But I must admit that there is only one difference between IRL and online: no physical. That's only one that is lack of or missing so far I see.

One thing I don't understand, people are so quick to judge the online issue while they were okay'ed with traditional methods like pen pals and such. Some people married or meet in person thru pen pal letters.. and such.

The biggest issues about any form of relationship: trust and common sense. Women tend to pick wrong men (meanies, distrustful, bad, etc) while men tend to pick wrong women (bimbos, betrayer, etc). Yes, looks can be good factor for anyone to pick or grab but being obsessed about best looks always backfired upon you. Always.
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well-said magapoo!! :hug: :D
 
wisdomlady said:
I Disagree To Date With Someone From On Line B/c A Person Can Be Hypocrite Or Liar...i Prefer To Meet In Person To Get To Know Who That Person Is...it Is Easier To Tell Whether A Person Is Lying Or Telling You The Truth By Reading A Person's Body Language...it's A Crazy World Out There And You Don't Even Know Who The Person Is...
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Actually the men I met in real life then started dating were liars. Yet I had a few successful online relationships. Yes, there were some jerks online but I have gotten wise in weeding these out as much as I can do that in real life too.

It all boils down to the guy, not how you met him in the first place. Sure there are lots of creeps and jerks online but there are lots of creeps and jerks in real life too, at your local store, bar, or resturant. No difference.

I really see no difference except that you cannot just meet easily - especially if the distance is too far. But once meeting, it can be possible.

Just take online relationships with grain of salt.
 
Meg said:
Actually the men I met in real life then started dating were liars. I had a few successful online relationships.

It all boils down to the guy, not how you met him in the first place. Sure there are lots of creeps and jerks online but there are lots of creeps and jerks in real life too, at your local store, bar, or resturant. No difference.

I really see no difference except that you cannot just meet easily - especially if the distance is too far. But once meeting, it can be possible.

Just take online relationships with grain of salt.
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agreed!! :thumb:
 
zesty said:
agreed!! :thumb:
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Thanks girl.

While I have nothing against online relationships, I cannot do it again because I know that distance will become the reason to end it.
 
SeattleDeafGrl said:
For anyone who is in a LDR, here are my advices:
1. Be very aware how you are feeling and always set your own boundaries. That means excluding yourself from the sidekick or computer. Take a break and take up your own hobbies and best of all, get yourself surrounded with good friends.
2. Make a mental note that it is a long distance and be prepare if one suddenly gives up; no matter how comfortable you are with the person with his/her words and thoughts. Don't alway verify the person is being 100% honest. It is extremely hard to stay in that way. The true possible says 2 out of 5 will make it through the rough patches.
3. Most important of ALL....listen to your heart and don't you forget that you got a life.
Click to expand...

SeattleGirl, it goes for BOTH Online and Real Life relationships. Even if you meet a man down the street from you, you still should have healthy boundary lines. Even if he lives one block away, you will still have to make a mental note that he could suddenly give up too. He could be a liar too.

Everyone needs to listen to their heart and know they need to have life/support system regardless of meeting that Special Guy or not.
 
:cry:
Meg said:
Thanks girl.

While I have nothing against online relationships, I cannot do it again because I know that distance will become the reason to end it.
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;)
 
Meg said:
SeattleGirl, it goes for BOTH Online and Real Life relationships. Even if you meet a man down the street from you, you still should have healthy boundary lines. Even if he lives one block away, you will still have to make a mental note that he could suddenly give up too. He could be a liar too.

Everyone needs to listen to their heart and know they need to have life/support system regardless of meeting that Special Guy or not.
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:werd:
 
I tried :type: . But the guy "IM" me and said his wife divorced him.
And I asked why.
He said because his wife won't let him wear girl panties.

I said I don't mind...
After that I didn't hear anymore from him. I can't believe I was rejected.

Oh well. :gives:
 
Magatsu said:
You made some good points but honestly, there isn't any different in IRL. I mean, even in IRL, people can be very dishonest (lies, affairs, etc.. that is already very common before internet invented or open to the public). Some women or men are very 'control' people, these lovers don't have their lives and stuck with them for years and years. And many more... Non-computer savvy women/men already complained about men/women that they met them IRL like clubs, parties, etc etc.

Honestly, I don't see any difference between IRL and online. But I must admit that there is only one difference between IRL and online: no physical. That's only one that is lack of or missing so far I see.

One thing I don't understand, people are so quick to judge the online issue while they were okay'ed with traditional methods like pen pals and such. Some people married or meet in person thru pen pal letters.. and such.

The biggest issues about any form of relationship: trust and common sense. Women tend to pick wrong men (meanies, distrustful, bad, etc) while men tend to pick wrong women (bimbos, betrayer, etc). Yes, looks can be good factor for anyone to pick or grab but being obsessed about best looks always backfired upon you. Always.
Click to expand...



Thank you for the share. Yes, I agree with you. There is no difference between those dating methods, yet we know that there's no physical in 'online' dating same with no reality touch like I said. There's no guarantee for a ultra-safe dating in the world. Dating and commitment are scary, maybe that's how the world runs. I hate to see people getting hurt but hey, the shit will always hits the fan.

It's sad that there are few decent people today which makes it very difficult to find the right person. Therefore, I guess people start relying on online dating services in possibly of finding the person of their dreams half around the world and/or out of their leagues.

There's one that I don't understand...there's dating service online...there's porn online....there's a "buy-a-wife" online. What's up with all kind of crap online?? It's all in one techinally.
 
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deaflibrarian said:
The only way I will go on-line to find someone to date is to register for a "rapid dating" or "speed dating" event. I'm sure you all know what these are, but just to clarify they are events where people go to this cool club or coffee house and meet with like 10 or 12 people of the opposite gender (there's also events for gay and lesbians, and I believe also transsexuals/transgenders).

You talk to each person for about 5 minutes then move on to the next person. It is all pre-screened and paid for beforehand (about $30 or so for a drink and appetizers) so that helps weed out the problems (i.e., married people, mind games, etc.) far more so than web-sites like Match, eHarmony, PerfectMatch, and chat rooms. If you like someone you put a check mark beside their name on the list that you're given, and if that person also puts a check mark beside your name you are put in contact with each other and it is up to you.

I just believe it is best to meet and/or date people in the same area you are living in. The long-distance thing just does not work out as I've tried that and it is also disastrous.

So where does one meet someone to date. What about work, volunteer groups, political groups (how many people hooked up during the Democrat and Republican conventions?), bookstores, coffeehouses (go there regularly at the same time) or even church singles groups? There has to be better ways to meet someone than through the Internet!

FYI, depending on where you live these "speed dating" events can be found via web-site such as these:
http://www.hurrydate.com/
http://www.8minutedating.com/
http://www.pre-dating.com/
http://www.foundating.com/
http://www.rapiddatingusa.com/
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No offense but how can a deaf woman like me participate in these speed dating events?????? That would NEVER work for me

Most hearing men have an issue with my deafness so I 'm not interested in giving hearing singles sites a chance cos I know they all will freak out. Not worth my time, dealing with their ignorance.
 
i have been relationship online for almost 4 yrs and he is oversea, heh, first we were good friend then became more than friend :x he kept promising to come to see me but never all he was saying "will" "will" "soon" "soon" I got tired ofit when I thought to end up the relationship with him, ofc, hard and depressed not eating much, driving my mind others not focus on driving I almost got accident, my god, tried to get out of my mind for weeks, unbelievable, I never seen him but my heart still feel for him :( I really prefer to see him on my eye one day but I dont want now cuz I have tried to forget him why should I keep hoping to see him, it is over with him I mean it and not worth to have relationship online and half world :D

I see sometimes online relationship works fine to someone, oh well
 
Hiya. I'm new here and making my first post here...

I'm most interested in this thread and another one - the one about hearing/deaf relationships because I'm now engaged to a wonderful hearing man.

I'm deaf, he's hearing. We met online on IRC. Not long afterwards, we fell in love with each other and met in person. A few months later, he proposed to me and I accepted in delight.

What a wonderful surprise it was on that night in January when he proposed to me. :) We haven't set a date yet for our wedding.

This is my third and final online relationship, since I'm getting married to my guy - bb, for short. Online, his nick is br0adband (bb). I'm sulwyn or kitten. :)

I've had better luck with online relationships than with rl relationships - even after the online relationships became rl. The reason for this, I believe, lies in the fact that the person becomes comfortable with who I am and learns to accept me for ME, not look at my deafness FIRST before me. :P I have many friends that I have developed from online and become rl friends as well for the same reason.

Anybody find the same issue of people finding out you're deaf and then deciding that you're not worthy of being known because of finding out you're deaf?

Anyhow... enough of me babbling on...

That's me more or less...

sulwyn
 
the last online relationship didn't work out well but it was a lesson to be learn for everyone not everyone can agree on things in life, and when they move they are risking thier own personal issues and life too.... the wise thing is... don't get into a online relationship to have other people interfere ( butt in) on ur relationship, it only creates plms and creates BS and lies and what have you.. glad i m with this gal who knows EVERYTHING from me and not from the liars who likes to make ME look bad So i sat my partner down explained EVERYTHING to her even showed her ALL my reports and everything and she's still with me cuz she knew what happened in the past is done and can not be undone, she also understands my anger and u know what she doesn't make me angry at all she always communicates with me and always makes sure i understand clearly and always ALWAYS makes sure she tells me something and i tell her things too, we talk ALL the time, and ofc have pillow talks too. this is by far the best relationship i have had in the last 10 yrs of my life! Thanks to my wonderful honey i really DO love her and shes living with me and we always have something to do every day we dont sit ard at all....

ONline relationships, communication is a key factor but, the main issue is u want to be sure your partner whoever it is, has the same understand as you would. and to be ensuring of yourself not to let other poeple butt in on ur life when your in a relationship with ur singificant others, theres poeple out there who will want to destroy what good things you have going... make sure if ur in a serious relationship that YOU and you alone tell yr partner anything that might be a negtive on your part, cuz honesty coming from you is a plus! but hearing it from other poeple is a full of shit type of thing u would not want to have happen. thats how my relationships with others got destroyed cuz of the lies they feed to other poeple tsk tsk on them :squint:

anyhow if you do go online relationship, be upfront and honest with them and if u meet them irl, be upfront as well it ll mean alot to yr singificant others.
 
I met my gf though Yahoo!

Sure, there is pro and cons finding somebody though any way (Online, in person, bars, etc) If one refuses all of one area, they have chance of missing good person! In real life, there is R I S K involve in ANY avenues of life! Good example, in the past people assume teacher has no risk of getting injury or killed on job. But look at Columbine, already somebody got hurt anyhow! Again my point is, there is ALWAYS risk involved regardless.
Yes, I met my girlfriend online! We have been together 5 years already. She said I am the best she ever had! All of her boyfriends that she met in person robbed her drained all of her money, used her and got her in bankruptcy and she got bad credit all because of this. I haven't robbed her money, we shared everything we set our limitation. I respect her, and she respected me. We ended up gave birth to our beloved son! If I had refused online relationship, I would have missed her BIG time!
I don't believe in finding relationship though bars!!! Bars are place for troublemakers to hang around! I don't see Online relationship any worse than picking somebody off from the Bar.
If you are dating somebody online... INVEST on your own to meet that person anyhow. That investment you have made could be far cheaper than getting married and get divorce. Hence I don't believe in marriage for a good reason. In every marriage, there is divorce as an exit! So, whats point of getting married if divorces exists? Only that Attorney collects dirty money!

DHB
 
I've met my wife online... she was living 2,000 miles away from me when we first met online. After few months of getting to know each other, we met in person and hit it off instantly. I guess I was lucky to find a right soulmate!

Online dating is just one of the several ways to find your mate, but I wouldn't spend more than few months online - if one couldn't meet together or unwilling to relocate, I wouldn't pursuit the online relationship.

Communication is the key - being honest is important and I was fortunate that my wife and I were candid in expressing our feelings and didn't hide anything from each other because it would eventually surface one way or other, so there's no point lying online or in person.

Bottom line, regardless of dating method, being dishonest & unwilling to meet in person and/or relocate will always end in disaster.
 
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