Odd person out ?

[Nita Thomas]

Since I have partial hearing and good verbal communication, I often find that I am the odd person, caught in the middle and not really able to fit in anywhere. Does anyone else have that same issue?

I did not learn to sign or read lips as a child. As an adult I know when a person's mouth is moving that they are probably talking and I should pay attention. So I do, but depending on the person's clarity when speaking I often confuse words, so two may sound like three if citing numbers, pasty and package also may sound the same. As for ASL, I really don't know very much of it and cannot hold a whole conversation with it.

How do you deal with this? Do you find that employers do discriminate and give you lower wages than your hearing coworkers? Of course proving that is impossible, since they have all their reasons for giving you the wage they do.

 

[Nyxx136]

Hi there im running into similar issues my pm me if you want to chat

 

[rockin'robin]

My life story in a nut shell...late-deafened feel this way mainly...in 2 worlds...All I can say is get more schooling and training for a higher-paying job (as I did)….Learn ASL...and lip-reading too. Pad and pen are ur buddies when needed....Think positive, be confident.

 

[Nita Thomas]

My life story in a nut shell...late-deafened feel this way mainly...in 2 worlds...All I can say is get more schooling and training for a higher-paying job (as I did)….Learn ASL...and lip-reading too. Pad and pen are ur buddies when needed....Think positive, be confident.

I am now a senior citizen, retiree... but those are good ideas.

 

[PinballWiz]

Yeah, I fall into that category. Fortunately I was in an established career when my hearing started to go. Officially, my employer is pretty good, though there are individuals who just don't want to play along. Basic things like, get my attention before you start talking to me. If you step into my office and start talking while I'm engaged in something else I'm not going to understand you. And of course the serial "low talker." Things like that. But I've never felt passed over or held back due to my (lack of) hearing. And I'm at a 110 dB loss.

I'm late deafened and don't know any ASL, and really it'd be pointless for me as I don't know a single person who signs. I'm entrenched in the hearing community and can't see that changing.

 

[Swedeafa]

My life story in a nut shell...late-deafened feel this way mainly...in 2 worlds...All I can say is get more schooling and training for a higher-paying job (as I did)….Learn ASL...and lip-reading too. Pad and pen are ur buddies when needed....Think positive, be confident.

Agree totally, did exactly what you describe, and it does help. Additionally, I moved a lot to get the jobs I wanted, where there is a positive atmosphere.

 

[Swedeafa]

Several of you mention not learning sign language. I would encourage you to learn even if you are retired, or don’t know people who sign. Just see it as an interesting language to explore. You will meet people who sign as you learn. My number one tip is to convince family to make it into a family activity, and if the family really doesn’t want to, bring a friend (coworker for those who work) or similar. It really speeds up progress if you have someone to share the journey with. Don’t be afraid of giving it a try, just because it’s not already a part of your life.

Not everyone has to have the goal to become fluent. For an older person it might be a fun way to exercise the brain and learn new things. Just knowing how to sign “coffee is ready” in the morning before the hearing aids are on might be fun. And a little finger spelling might enable your significant other to clarify a name or address you didn’t catch. Learning a language is a huge task, but if you just enjoy the small steps, and accept that this is something new to you, then you might benefit from the process, or at least get more understanding for those who do sign more.

 

[PinballWiz]

An aside, my wife and I have developed our own sign language. Or rather she has. An index finger to the sink followed by a middle finger in my directions means, "I thought you were going to load the dishwasher this morning, Dear."

She's got a lot of signs. Apparently that middle finger means "Dear," since she often ends our signing conversations with that.

 

[Swedeafa]

An aside, my wife and I have developed our own sign language. Or rather she has. An index finger to the sink followed by a middle finger in my directions means, "I thought you were going to load the dishwasher this morning, Dear."

She's got a lot of signs. Apparently that middle finger means "Dear," since she often ends our signing conversations with that.

Well, the facial expression means everything.

I think it’s cute, any communication that works is good.

 

[Nita Thomas]

Yeah, I fall into that category. Fortunately I was in an established career when my hearing started to go. Officially, my employer is pretty good, though there are individuals who just don't want to play along. Basic things like, get my attention before you start talking to me. If you step into my office and start talking while I'm engaged in something else I'm not going to understand you. And of course the serial "low talker." Things like that. But I've never felt passed over or held back due to my (lack of) hearing. And I'm at a 110 dB loss.

I'm late deafened and don't know any ASL, and really it'd be pointless for me as I don't know a single person who signs. I'm entrenched in the hearing community and can't see that changing.

You were accepted while hearing and that has really benefited you. I would recommend that you take a lip reading course though.

 

[Nita Thomas]

Several of you mention not learning sign language. I would encourage you to learn even if you are retired, or don’t know people who sign. Just see it as an interesting language to explore. You will meet people who sign as you learn. My number one tip is to convince family to make it into a family activity, and if the family really doesn’t want to, bring a friend (coworker for those who work) or similar. It really speeds up progress if you have someone to share the journey with. Don’t be afraid of giving it a try, just because it’s not already a part of your life.

Not everyone has to have the goal to become fluent. For an older person it might be a fun way to exercise the brain and learn new things. Just knowing how to sign “coffee is ready” in the morning before the hearing aids are on might be fun. And a little finger spelling might enable your significant other to clarify a name or address you didn’t catch. Learning a language is a huge task, but if you just enjoy the small steps, and accept that this is something new to you, then you might benefit from the process, or at least get more understanding for those who do sign more.

I did call to see if it was available in the area that I live... and no such luck, it's either pay which I can't afford or skip it. One would think some allowances would be available for low income or no income people, but that just isn't true here.

 

[PinballWiz]

You were accepted while hearing and that has really benefited you..

No question. I was hired at my current company with greatly diminished hearing, but with HA's could still more or less function without anyone having to make many accommodations. Since then my hearing has degraded such that even with HA's I'm nowhere near able to do that. I definitely could not find a position like mine again today.