Not sure what to do

[Saavik]

If you go check yourself into a hospital, they can help you with your severe depression.

Also , they can help you get SSI for when you are well enough to go out on your own.

So I haven't been able to get a reply from my father via email since the day he emailed me to tell me he got my license in the mail. They always had this thing where they opened my mail for some reason. I'm sure he opened it and found out my little secret and I believe he kept his word on one thing he told me as a child.

He told me if I ever married outside the race, especially if I married a black or hispanic woman, he'd disown me and he made it even clearer that if it turned out I were gay or something, he'd also disown me, and being LGBT, that qualifies.

Rejected by my family, my two friends can't seem to stand being around me, I feel like they don't want me around. I can't become independent and earn a living myself and I found myself making a pros and cons list about my life and it's heavily leaning toward cons, I only found one pro.

I'd go to a hospital like you said, but I'm afraid to.

Have you thought of volunteering? It's a way to meet people, fill up your resume and possibly get your foot in the door for any employment opportunities. That's what I'm doing now. I have no one to talk to either and I figure this is a way to get my mind off myself and my problems.

I'm in such a bad position that I can't afford to volunteer. I can't afford food, let alone fuel, new oil for the car, insurance and new brakes for the car.

If you can't afford those things, sell them. Keeping things around that cost you money will only put you in more debt. As long as you live within your means, you are always in a stronger position.

It sounds like you have credit, but you should use it wisely for things that will get you ahead like education or job training. Check out free events in your area. Being happy doesn't necessarily mean having a lot of money.

I know things seem tough now, but things will get better. That's the thing about life. Every ten minutes, things change..

I don't own much, so I'm not sure I know what you're talking about. I can fit everything I own into the trunk of my car, I own a car and my motorcycle isn't even on this side of the continent. The idea that life will just magically change for the better is bollocks.

I'm too stupid for college and I can't seem to get vocational rehabilitation to give me job training. I'm tired of eating ramen and spam every single day, I'm just tired of the world as a whole.

 

[Reba]

If you go check yourself into a hospital, they can help you with your severe depression.

Also , they can help you get SSI for when you are well enough to go out on your own.

True. Hospitals have staff social workers who work with patients to get them financial and other assistance. They walk you thru the paperwork. That's their job.

 

[Reba]

...I'm about to just call it quits with SSI, VA, Vocational Rehab and so on, I don't seem to be able to function in this world.

Do you need income? Then you can't quit seeking help from VR, VA, or SSA.

Sure it's a hassle to work thru the government agencies but think of it as your job for now. It is your daily job, Monday thru Friday, to get up, get ready, and go to the office (SSA, VA, VR). Fill out papers, answer questions, jump thru hoops, all day--you're on the job. At the end of the day, that's your free time.

Applying for benefits/assistance isn't supposed to be fun--it's work. You must put in effort in order to get reward. That's life--not just your life, nearly everyone's life.

If you seriously can't do this, please, please get professional medical help. You've got to break away from this negativity black hole.

Wishing the best for you.

 

[MangaReader]

I'm guessing you are accessing the internet at a library?

I learned no matter how bad your situation is, there's always light at the end of the tunnel. You've made the first step in changing yourself, the rest will follow.

 

[Saavik]

I'm guessing you are accessing the internet at a library?

I learned no matter how bad your situation is, there's always light at the end of the tunnel. You've made the first step in changing yourself, the rest will follow.

No, I'm using wifi in the person's flat I'm staying in on my POS laptop.

I've been awaiting that change my whole life and things just seem to get worse and worse and trying or not makes little to no difference in it's outcome and I'm tired of trying.

 

[ambrosia]

You don't wait for change, it doesn't just happen. You make things change, you change yourself.

I'm not sure if there a miscommunication there. You might be talking about a sex change, and manga might be talking about life/attitude whatnot. Your negativity seems to be the root cause of your problems, not your gender.

 

[diehardbiker]

I kinda of agree with you. The only person can change somebody is themselves, not others. Nobody can make change for somebody, BUT can put them down cause it is easier to do it in negative way. Much harder to think positive. Without thinking positive, one is bound to go down in the lonely hole for sure.

You don't wait for change, it doesn't just happen. You make things change, you change yourself.

I'm not sure if there a miscommunication there. You might be talking about a sex change, and manga might be talking about life/attitude whatnot. Your negativity seems to be the root cause of your problems, not your gender.

 

[ambrosia]

Yes, and that's what I meant about having to make the changes. I talked about it up there^^^ too. Sometimes you really have to work to change your thought processes. Actually pay attention to the thoughts in your head. If you catch yourself dwelling on things, thinking negatively you really have to make an effort to stop yourself. Focus on positive, find it.

But we can tell her that until the moon explodes but until she actually decides it could be a problem nothing will change. Nothing and no one can make you happy Saavik. Somebody knowing you completely isn't answer, not something that will fix things and make you happy. Happiness is a state of mind. YOU make you happy. Everything is really in your control.

 

[rockin'robin]

Happiness is something you create in your mind...not something you search for but cannot seem to find...I do feel you "whine" a lot....and have a very low self-esteem...So many other people are in worse dire straits than you are at the moment.....

 

[DeafDucky]

I am sure she realizes that there are others who are in more dire straits than she is but at the moment that isn't how she is feeling...It is hard to look outside of yourself and feel/think 'positively' when you feel your entire world crumbling around you and having a difficult time with social interactions ( I understand that too well right now) as well as digging through mounds of red tape or whatever to find the help you need (half the time they want something you might not even have...like insurance...).

I do hope you find your way and find someone to at least talk to to get back on the right track. You can always PM me too if you need to vent or chat.

 

[Nothingless]

Ambrosias post hits the nail on the head! I could say it in so many words but only once you realize that love conquers fear can you constructively change your situation. Have a network of people that can help you through the rough times.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using AllDeaf App mobile app

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Some form called ssa-821 and they want it in the next few days.

Did you call the SSI office to see why that wanted you fill out the form when you're not working ? That is odd them wanting it the next day , I never heard of that before , maybe you forget to answer a question or answer one that you where working by mistake. It would had been best to had called the you got the ssa-821 form , you need to let the know you still want SSI you only have a certain number of days to answer back , if you don't you'll have to start the whole progress over again.

 

[Saavik]

If you go check yourself into a hospital, they can help you with your severe depression.

Also , they can help you get SSI for when you are well enough to go out on your own.

What do I tell them when I get there exactly to get their help? I'm at a point I have officially just given up on trying to make life work and if a hospital can help me in some way, then I'm willing to give it a try.

Will it cost me anything to do this, because I don't have a way to pay them and don't want more medical crap against my credit.

 

[MangaReader]

What do I tell them when I get there exactly to get their help? I'm at a point I have officially just given up on trying to make life work and if a hospital can help me in some way, then I'm willing to give it a try.

Will it cost me anything to do this, because I don't have a way to pay them and don't want more medical crap against my credit.

Do you have health insurance?

 

[rockin'robin]

What do I tell them when I get there exactly to get their help? I'm at a point I have officially just given up on trying to make life work and if a hospital can help me in some way, then I'm willing to give it a try.

Will it cost me anything to do this, because I don't have a way to pay them and don't want more medical crap against my credit.

Guessing you've applied for Obamacare?...or have Medicaid?....No matter...just go into the hospital and tell them you are suicidal....homeless and all that....and can't function.....and need help desperately....I'm sure someone will steer you to the right direction....You can admit yourself or have someone to Baker Act you....and they will also provide an intrepretor if you want one and know ASL....

We have several of them in my City and I've heard good things about them....They will evaluate you and you will see a phycharist who might prescribe meds for you...and free if you cannot afford.

The last thing I would be worried about if my credit rating....

 

[Angel1989]

RR....so well said. I was trying to type something but you definitely said it the best.

 

[Saavik]

Do you have health insurance?

No

Guessing you've applied for Obamacare?...or have Medicaid?....No matter...just go into the hospital and tell them you are suicidal....homeless and all that....and can't function.....and need help desperately....I'm sure someone will steer you to the right direction....You can admit yourself or have someone to Baker Act you....and they will also provide an intrepretor if you want one and know ASL....

We have several of them in my City and I've heard good things about them....They will evaluate you and you will see a phycharist who might prescribe meds for you...and free if you cannot afford.

The last thing I would be worried about if my credit rating....

I applied for insurance from the ACA but haven't heard anything in over a month now about it. So at this moment I have neither obamacare or medicaid.

 

[rockin'robin]

No




I applied for insurance from the ACA but haven't heard anything in over a month now about it. So at this moment I have neither obamacare or medicaid.

Most likely, there are thousands of others who have no insurance either...but they get the help. Just tell them you did apply, but have not heard back yet and it's still pending....They are not going to throw you out the door!....And if you do have any paperwork/copies to show that you have applied, then take it with you.....if not, ask if someone can check upon the status of your case.....

Saavik, the last thing you need to worry about is your credit rating, or not having insurance....Hospitals are there to help....Mental Health Resources are there to help....all you need to do...is Ask For It....

 

[Reba]

Saavik,

Take your DD-214 (original) with you, and go to the closest VA clinic, and get signed up for medical care.

 

[DeafDucky]

I don't think hospitals can turn you away if you have no insurance or no way to pay- certainly would think so especially if you are in a bad way psychologically.

A bit surprised you haven't heard anything from Obamacare or Medicaid. Nevada is one state that IS expanding Medicaid so you are definitely eligible for Medicaid (I'm not because NC didn't and my income is ridiculously below 11,000- how's that for fair...geez...). Guessing that Nevada is swamped with applications for Medicaid but try to check back with that- either online if you applied there or find a state office and see if you can go in. Tough I know but I hope you hear back soon. It took me a month and half to even get my (very expensive...) insurance card they are so slammed.