Newbie Needs Advice

southern_momma said:
I'd greatly appreciate ANY advice from the deaf community on this situation. I found out today that my 6 year old daughter will possibly loose her hearing in both ears (she currently has severe loss in her left ear) or she may retain some ability to hear sounds but will loose her ability for speech recognition (within the month it will be completely gone in her left ear). A couple possibilities presented to me by the specialists would involve possible progression to her good ear.
I want to set my daughter up for the greatest of success (esp emotionally) so here are my questions for you....
1) What helped you during the process of loss?
2) What did you or a parent do that helped or did not help during the process of loss?
3) Looking back is there anything you are glad was done/not done/ or wish were done?
I appreciate any feedback you are willing to give. Although this is not a certainty for her I want to ensure I do everything I can to help her.... you know... plan for the worst and expect the best!
Click to expand...
I am sorry about your daughter's hearing loss. I don't have same experience as your daughter since I lost my hearing very young, around 2 and half years old. all I know it changed me who I was before and after I became deaf I became different person. My old classmate, he lost his hearing at 6 and still talk very well to this day. He seems had no trouble to accept it. I think CI will be good for her if she wants to and learn ASL which it is great cuz it is fun and make alot of friends this way once she goes out into world on her own. She may want to seek others who are alike her and most of us perfer ASL.

((((hugs))))
 
Wow... I can't believe there is such a resistance by so many regarding ASL. Maybe I'm niave, but it is basically a new language and we don't hesitate to get interpretors for spanish speaking persons and even translate eveything on merchandise now to accomodate that language. I am soooo sorry so many have been left hurt and frustrated by others lake of basic compassion. This makes me really angry and I've not even experienced this. I will definitely gather my thoughts and will be getting back in touch with that rep... this is unacceptable and I don't go down without one hell of a fight regarding my daughter!:rl: Maybe she can be enlightened as not to continue giving that false info to other families.

Regardless what happens with Allie's hearing, I've talked with my family and we are all going to learn ASL... will take some longer than others due to work schedules and learning curves ... but I we don't see it acceptable any other way. We never want Allie or any of her future friends to feel isolated and frustrated... our home has always been welcoming and will continue to be so.

Are their any differences in teaching styles of ASL that is recommended? Are their regional differences... kind of like northern vs southern accents? (probably a silly question... but I'm new at this!):lol:

And THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for your feedback.... it has made a difference in how my husband and I view our approach very much. So those of you that have had a tough road... thank you from my family for sharing... you've just changed the road my daughter will journey down!!!
 
You rock, southern momma.:rockon: Best of luck to Allie and your family. Keep us informed about her progress. :wave:
 
That's great you and your family is going to learn ASL. Best of luck with that. :)
It will really help your daughter when she knows there are choices in mode of communications. She'll feel lucky having known English and ASL.
 
southern_momma said:
As for ASL... I had a rep from the state agency for deaf and hard of hearing children visit and they recommended not using ASL... said it was "outdated" and not used much any more. Is this true?
Click to expand...

asl is not outdated. it is the language of the Deaf. asl is one of the most requested language course in the usa at the college level. teaching your child asl will only assist them to fully understand and be able to communicate well in the world. it is a personal choice for most, i have spoken with many oral deaf who say they wished greatly their parents had allowed them to sign because now they wish they were fluent and and more a part of the Deaf community. that doesnt go for everyone though. you could teach asl and be oral. than your child would be bilingual. just a thought....
 
southern_momma said:
s.

Are their regional differences... kind of like northern vs southern accents? (probably a silly question... but I'm new at this!):lol:
Click to expand...

there are some regional differences. im from S.W. Texas and alot of the signing down there is influenced by mexican sign lang. every country has its own. but now that ive moved to Washington, the signing is kinda diff up here too. i can still understand it, and if i dont recognize a sign for something than after finding out what the sign is... i can show the sign that i know for that same object or saying or whatever. its neat to learn new signs from a different area.
 
deafannieboo said:
asl is not outdated. it is the language of the Deaf. asl is one of the most requested language course in the usa at the college level. teaching your child asl will only assist them to fully understand and be able to communicate well in the world. it is a personal choice for most, i have spoken with many oral deaf who say they wished greatly their parents had allowed them to sign because now they wish they were fluent and and more a part of the Deaf community. that doesnt go for everyone though. you could teach asl and be oral. than your child would be bilingual. just a thought....
Click to expand...

Words have never rung truer! Iam a former oral deaf who feels the same way.
 
Mmm ... it got me wondering....

After I read a such hateful comment toward Deaf community. One more step to closer to have a cureness for deafness... many kids get CIs each year... more kids are able to speak than sign...

Now, there are some people think ASL is "outdated"?

Okay. Let them destory ASL that only make them feel better. It's only matter to them. :)

Whatever.
 
KarissaMann05 said:
Mmm ... it got me wondering....

After I read a such hateful comment toward Deaf community. One more step to closer to have a cureness for deafness... many kids get CIs each year... more kids are able to speak than sign...

Now, there are some people think ASL is "outdated"?

Okay. Let them destory ASL that only make them feel better. It's only matter to them. :)

Whatever.
Click to expand...

It amazes me how much people really hate the Deaf community and ASL. What did we do to them? Geez!
 
It is just the "war" of ASL vs. Oral...

And... it is getting so tiresome...

I could less care if nobody give a rat's ass about it, anyway. They can shot me. I'm sure I like it. :P

</smei-sadistic>

Oh, boy. :roll:
 
southern_momma said:
I don't see how anyone could be offended by your life experience and opinion... so no worries.

Thank you soo much for sharing. I find it interesting I was told by the state agency ASL is not used much at all so not to pursue it. As for my daughter's school... super supportive!!! (And yes it is a public school). They are getting an FM system put in her class... but will be for the entire class as not to single her out and she can move around freely.

Do you all recommend ASL?
Click to expand...

The next time some one tells you this give them a swift kick in the crotch. I am quickly getting tired of people that don't think before giving an opinion from a position of authority. This would be like telling a parent not to get a wheel chair and just make their kid get around anyway, when the kid is paralized from the waist down.

I am an adult that luckily still has the ability to recognize speech. I am hoh and I will likely end up deaf in the next decade. I have started to learn ASL and I will be teaching my 3 and 1 year old daughters so they can still "talk" to daddy as they grow up.

To make your daughter comfortable and help her through this be supportive and never appear frustrated in regards to her loss. If you keep calling for her and she doesn't respond don't appear flustered when you tap her on the shoulder for attention. My wife constantly seems agravated when the TV is too loud or I don't hear the baby crying at the end of her nap. This makes me feel inadequate and like a burden. This does nothing to help me with the transition into the deaf world. It's bad enough that losing your hearing makes one feel isolated from a world that they knew was full of sound but no support makes you feel cut off from your family as well. Just make this transition a part of life that is unavoidable, like puberty, it's a fact of life it happens and you deal with it. As long as you are there for her no matter what she will always feel accepted....... Not to mention when you get old she may be the one to choose your retirement home :)
 
We do try to be as patient as possible... I am hoh too so I do know a LITTLE of what she feels. It is frustrating and so many times embarrasing. I just really stress this to her teachers... so far they are beyond supportive of anything she needs.

I'm so sorry to have stirred up so much emotion. I am new to the community and in my niave way I hope and pray that these comments such as the ones the state rep made to me are out of ignorance rather than malice. BUT it is her job to GET SMART about the field she works in... and that is extremely frustrating and maddening. I will be contacting her and confronting her with the info I received.... maybe you all will be able to influence her actions through me confronting her.

Thank you again to all of you... we should find out in a month more details regarding my daughter's loss... there are three possible causes with two leading to possible progression and that is what I'm planning for just in case she does loose more hearing/speech recognition. Don't want to get down the road of life and have it full of "if only I'd....".

My husband and I are looking now for ASL courses in our area and have even researched (very briefly) schools for the deaf and are considering relocating in the future if that is in our daughter's best interest... (I can't send her away to school... we will move first).

Thanks again!
 
southern_momma said:
We do try to be as patient as possible... I am hoh too so I do know a LITTLE of what she feels. It is frustrating and so many times embarrasing. I just really stress this to her teachers... so far they are beyond supportive of anything she needs.

I'm so sorry to have stirred up so much emotion. I am new to the community and in my niave way I hope and pray that these comments such as the ones the state rep made to me are out of ignorance rather than malice. BUT it is her job to GET SMART about the field she works in... and that is extremely frustrating and maddening. I will be contacting her and confronting her with the info I received.... maybe you all will be able to influence her actions through me confronting her.

Thank you again to all of you... we should find out in a month more details regarding my daughter's loss... there are three possible causes with two leading to possible progression and that is what I'm planning for just in case she does loose more hearing/speech recognition. Don't want to get down the road of life and have it full of "if only I'd....".

My husband and I are looking now for ASL courses in our area and have even researched (very briefly) schools for the deaf and are considering relocating in the future if that is in our daughter's best interest... (I can't send her away to school... we will move first).

Thanks again!
Click to expand...

See the bolded...


That was my first thought when I read what the rep said to you. That if she is ignorance about ASL, then she is not doing her job by learning about Deaf culture, ASL, and anything else related to deafness..i.e. CIs, Cued Speech, TC and all that. If she knew about ASL and stated that, then it had to be out of malice/bias which is my strong feeling. Please keep us updated when you do confront her.

Dont worry about stirring up emotions..whenever an agency, rep, or an "expert" in the field of deafness gives out wrong information about ASL, it will always stir up emotions.

Best of luck!
 
Only hearing people think there is a "cure" for deafness. Those who have limited hearing or no hearing don't think it needs to be 'fixed'. Even with a CI a person is still deaf once the magnet is removed. What's wrong with deafness? Only hearing people think thay we need to be fixed...I'm perfectly normal and I am deaf.









KarissaMann05 said:
Mmm ... it got me wondering....

After I read a such hateful comment toward Deaf community. One more step to closer to have a cureness for deafness... many kids get CIs each year... more kids are able to speak than sign...

Now, there are some people think ASL is "outdated"?

Okay. Let them destory ASL that only make them feel better. It's only matter to them. :)

Whatever.
Click to expand...
 
OK, I finally was able to reach the state rep and here is the up-date and it boils down to mis-understanding mixed with mis-communication. When I met with her my daughter was moderately deaf in one ear with no immediate threat of loosing more hearing (and at that time we had no idea that speech recognition was a separate issue). So her comment of not recommending and utilizing ASL was meant to be directed specifically to people with the SAME loss in one ear with normal hearing in the other... NOT generalized into not using ASL at all. I explained to her how her comment came across... she apologized profusely... and said she would definitely be more sensitive to how she termed things... and not assume that everyone knows what she is MEANING to say. Hope all that made sense. Now that my daughter is severly deaf and loosing more and has not speech recognition in the left ear and it is projected to progress to the other ear she is FULLY recommending ASL for the entire family and recommending appropriate local resources.
As for my daughter... we are currently going through multiple test due to different things not adding up for the docs i.e. speech deterioration despite somewhat normal testing in one ear right now, rapid deterioration still in the other ear, normal MRI (outside of changing lessions - which I don't know what that means yet we meet with a neurologist in a couple months), no tumors, etc. So we are testing every three months to monitor progression. But she's happy, taking piano, taking hip-hop, loves to play jokes, eats chocolate like it has a daily requirement, and just makes life grand!!!
Thank you to everyone for your help. Thank you to everyone for helping me to "enlighten" the state rep on her approach -- we all need a kick in the tail some times.
 
Two things -
First before i say anything - I skimped through.

1.) I have a couple of friends who has had diverse upbringings, some CI, Some HA, some Orals, etc.. The most common thing I notice is that the ones who don't really know ASL fluently wishes they did. They're currently working on that at late age.

2.) What does it hurt to learn a such beautiful language. =D ASL is one of the most popular second lanuage in America now and will be the 2nd most popular in no time. That just means it will be very easy to learn.

=D

Good luck in whatever you decide.
 
Back
Top