New to the Community

N

neworld524

New Member
Joined
Nov 16, 2012
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
I posted this on a different forum but I think this would be better. . . .I am 31 years old and I lost my hearing about 6 months ago due to a brain trauma. I have been having trouble coping. My family doesn't know much about it and tend to be almost skidish around me. They are not exactly supportive or not supportive. My boyfriend has been supportive but I almost feel like he doesn't know me anymore. I read a lot about Deaf culture and finding my voice. That is one reason I am here. In addition, I have enrolled in a local college for ASL classes. Most of the students in the class are hearing which has made communication difficult and it is very basic. I can speak but some of the blogs I have been reading say that one way to help is to stop speaking. This intrigued me. One reason is that I find when I when I go to stores and speak the people behind the counter turn their backs or talk with their heads down. They don't realize I can't hear them. This makes communication difficult. I find myself needing to call their attention to the fact that I can't hear them and asking them to speak slower. At times I feel embarrassed. I read lips fairly well but always have . I trained myself in it a long time ago. It was a little game I would play on my students and my parents. :) I have accepted that the damage to my brain is irreparable. I don't want to accept this as a disability. I want to understand how I can now simply see myself as having different abilities as some do. I find myself not going to stores much anymore. I order almost everything online. I have even been limiting my encounters with people. I am looking for any and all feedback. Thanks for your help.
 
Thank you. I reported this there. It is a really strange feeling. I have questions and I don't know how to navigate through this world
 
neworld524 said:
Thank you. I reported this there. It is a really strange feeling. I have questions and I don't know how to navigate through this world
Click to expand...

Well, this is your thread. Ask any questions you have, and it is likely someone will answer.
 
Thanks. I really feel lonely lately so I am trying this. I reported what I wrote on that thread
 
One question I have is about speaking. I feel like if I don't speak my ASL will improve and I will be forced to find other ways to communicate. Also people will be more likely to communicate with me in a way I can understand. I am not sure if that's right or if not speaking will effect me negatively. Also I am curious if a relationship between a hearing and newly deaf person can work.
 
:welcome: to AllDeaf forum.

Hearing people don't understand and don't get it when someone like you have lost hearing loss or have profound deafness. We have many degrees of hearing loss from mild to profound hearing loss. With the hearing aids, they expect us to hear them clearly communicating with hearing people, it would be wise to not speak as they will expect you to understand them if you have an hearing aid or if you can understand them with 100% lipreading which is not true. Lipreading is very difficult and you can only pick out what they say by 30%, not 100%. Paper and Pen is the best solution to make communication with hearing people.

What I am trying to say is hearing people will think you can understand what they say and that they think you could hear and that you are just pretending for being deaf. They do that to us when we speak. My own sister used to do that too not believing that I am deaf and think I can hear with my hearing aid one hundred percent like she is. But that is not true at all. Hearing people misunderstood about our deafness. They had never experience what we have experience what is like to be deaf or hard of hearing. That is something you have to make a choice whether you want to use voice or no voice to speak. Remember paper and pen does help a lot.

I hope you have fun reading and posting here. See you around here. :wave:
 
Thanks

Thank you for your reply. I am considering trying to silence my speaking voice for a few days and see if it leaves me less frustrated. I am at a crossroads right now. Some are telling me that my speaking voice is previous and I shouldn't give it up but if it is making the transition harder why shouldn't I?
 
Dear Neworld, I am also a new member to ALLDEAF.COM I was reading through your thread and can appreciate the anxiety you feel regarding the transition to sign language from vocal and interaction between yourself and HoH/Deaf community , I am sorry to read that you are not supported by your Family, or for the fact they do not fully understand how devistating it is to loose your primary ability to communicate verbally with the outside world by voice. There are so many ppl out their willing and wanting to help you because they do understand where you are coming from.

I am an avid supporter of the Deaf Society here in the UK and i am self- taught is BSL, I may not know every sign or use the correct facial expression, I strive to improve my sign language, my family has a history of profound deafness from early ages so I took it upon myself to teach myself, as I do experience difficulty, especially when it comes to group conversations, my partner of 11 years goes nuts with me (not all the time) thinking I'm be ignorant, I turn round and reply ," you need to be in front of me when you are talking, say my name, speak slower as I can lip read to a certain point". At times feel a wee bit allianated from group gatherings, but I manage. Lol. Because I know my family have a history HoH deafness, I taught my Daughter at the age of 3 BSL, she is now coming on 6 and understands alot.

Funny story; I took my Father-in-law "Jim" to the pub and I taught him quite a few signs and the ones he could remember was 2 pint n 2 brandy n cokes, just to confuse the hell of the barman he used BSL, beer sign easy to remember but the brandy sign the barman took offence thinking he was looking at a rude gesture. PMSL couldn,t stop laughing, I had to explain to the barman what it meant.

I love learning languages, art, teaching my children, making a difference in peoples lives.
"Neworld, don't worry ok, you will adapt, defo a gd idea to use a wee note pad to communicate , have a look at you tube asl lessons/mock exam video,s. They will. Help"


I,Ll stop talking now LOL, thank you Alex for accepting me into ALLDEAF.COM.


Kevin ;-)
 
neworld524 said:
One question I have is about speaking. I feel like if I don't speak my ASL will improve and I will be forced to find other ways to communicate. Also people will be more likely to communicate with me in a way I can understand. I am not sure if that's right or if not speaking will effect me negatively. Also I am curious if a relationship between a hearing and newly deaf person can work.
Click to expand...

My best suggestion is that you just lost your hearing a few months ago or so. Try to focus on your self esteem issue and experiment with your ASL or how to deal by facing the reality until you feel comfortable with yourself. SO you would not care who heairng or deaf people you will be with.

Lots of ASL users who i know they are in relationship with hearing people who never know ASL before until they learn ASL becuase they love them. So they had to learn ASL or find a way to communicate with them if the deaf or hoh dont know ASL. It's another issue for you to worry about later.
 
I'm also 31 and lost all my hearing this year (I was born deaf in one ear). I saw your post and wondered if you wanted to messaged back and forth. I've been learning ASL and coping as best as I can. Hang in there.
 
Back
Top