Good post ecp......but I would add a strong suggestion to get involved with TSD and use TSD's resources to supplement the homeschooling......The trouble with low incidence disablities is that very few parents are trained to teach dhh/blind low vision and other LI disablities.......and it's also super important to expose your kid with a low incidence disabilty to others like them...
New and overwhelmed
- Thread starter DanielsMom
- Start date
Eater of Worlds
Member
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2013
- Messages
- 685
- Reaction score
- 2
I wanted to add, you stated this: "We homeschool, so classroom modifications aren't necessary."
This is going to do him a disservice in the long run. He needs to learn how to function in a big noisy classroom, how to recognize what his needs are, how to ask for them, how to push for his requirements when they are not given or not given properly, etc. This is because you can't homeschool him for college. He needs to learn to have the strength to stand up in class and say "hey, I can't sit in this spot and I need to move to a better one", things like that. Being able to do these things will have a direct impact on his success in higher education, and life in general.
Also, make sure you have him get regular checkups with people like speech therapists, because as his mom you're much less likely to notice small amounts of speech deterioration until it becomes a big thing and then it's more difficult to correct.
It would serve him in good stead to get classroom instruction at all stages of his life. I'm not saying you have to send him to school. He can take a class in addition to what you do. This is because he needs to learn to manage social dynamics in a classroom as a person with a disability. He needs to learn how to handle group discussions, because not everyone will want to allow him to speak. This could be because they don't want to deal with the extra effort it takes to involve a deaf person in a discussion full of hearing people, or the others don't know what to do so they ignore him, or they get pissed or frustrated. It's important that he learns to deal with all these things.
I'm sure I'm missing other reasons. If he never experiences these kinds of situations before he goes to college or vocational school, that means he won't have the skills to deal with them in the high pressure environment that higher education is. And that sets him up for failure before he can even start.
This is going to do him a disservice in the long run. He needs to learn how to function in a big noisy classroom, how to recognize what his needs are, how to ask for them, how to push for his requirements when they are not given or not given properly, etc. This is because you can't homeschool him for college. He needs to learn to have the strength to stand up in class and say "hey, I can't sit in this spot and I need to move to a better one", things like that. Being able to do these things will have a direct impact on his success in higher education, and life in general.
Also, make sure you have him get regular checkups with people like speech therapists, because as his mom you're much less likely to notice small amounts of speech deterioration until it becomes a big thing and then it's more difficult to correct.
It would serve him in good stead to get classroom instruction at all stages of his life. I'm not saying you have to send him to school. He can take a class in addition to what you do. This is because he needs to learn to manage social dynamics in a classroom as a person with a disability. He needs to learn how to handle group discussions, because not everyone will want to allow him to speak. This could be because they don't want to deal with the extra effort it takes to involve a deaf person in a discussion full of hearing people, or the others don't know what to do so they ignore him, or they get pissed or frustrated. It's important that he learns to deal with all these things.
I'm sure I'm missing other reasons. If he never experiences these kinds of situations before he goes to college or vocational school, that means he won't have the skills to deal with them in the high pressure environment that higher education is. And that sets him up for failure before he can even start.
Excellent post............
We're not bashing homeschooling......simply saying that most parents wouldn't have the skill set nessary to teach low incidence kids...so why not send the kid to those who do? In addition Sign and sending your kid to deaf ed as a supplement, will open up his social emotional development, (a HUGE HUGE area of concern that often gets brushed undern the rug b/c parents assume that what REALLY counts is academic acheivement....it does...but it's only part of the puzzle)and give him a place where he belongs........And you know what? Maybe when he's in high school he could take advantage of the independent living ops with the on campus independent living programs.....
WHAT on earth are you talking about? AND what is so wrong with being raised with a FULL toolbox of options and choices? This isn't say a parent of a kid with unilateral loss being told that "oh you gotta raise them with ASL only" Kid's got bilateral loss.....You simply have been taught to think that normal as possible functioning (ie speech only for a dhh kid,walking/writing manually/doing other physical tasks"normally" for a kid with say CP,using sight for blind/low vision kids) is best......Most kids with disabilties get plenty of exposure to the nondisabled world/way of living.....Besides,what is so wrong about being raised as a disabled person? You've been taught to think of disailty as "bad"/negative.....WHY?!??!
Phoenix23
New Member
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2013
- Messages
- 797
- Reaction score
- 1
Definitely agree. Homeschooling is all fine and well, however they don't get near the social interaction they would in a actual school setting. At least he might have a chance to meet some friends there. I know growing up and being "different" is hard for any child... but having friends that you can talk and relate to is what makes this life so bearable.
crymar09
New Member
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2013
- Messages
- 10
- Reaction score
- 0
This is a pretty excellent thread. I'm hearing so if you want to throw my opinion out, I understand. OP, I say just research, research, research. If I were you, I'd try to read up on blogs from people who were in your son's shoes once; dhh child with hearing parents. I see posts a lot from people whose parents just didn't understand their needs or parents that never learned sign for them...as I think a previous poster said.
I feel like if/when your child's hearing loss progresses, there will be a barrier. Even if you were to do all that is possible to accommodate his needs and expand his horizons, there's always going to be something... So I would try all that I could to make that barrier as thin as possible.
My parents and I have a strong cultural barrier. I adore them and wish I could connect with them more but there's really not much I can do. A lot of posters have brought up so many good points that I would have never thought of on my own. I'd read them all and really digest it. I wish you the best of luck.
I feel like if/when your child's hearing loss progresses, there will be a barrier. Even if you were to do all that is possible to accommodate his needs and expand his horizons, there's always going to be something... So I would try all that I could to make that barrier as thin as possible.
My parents and I have a strong cultural barrier. I adore them and wish I could connect with them more but there's really not much I can do. A lot of posters have brought up so many good points that I would have never thought of on my own. I'd read them all and really digest it. I wish you the best of luck.
It's taken a couple days for to be able to response to this calmly
Nothing is wrong with being raised full toolbox I plan on raising my children full toolbox including CS for English class
Do you know how much it sucks to have everyone pointing what can't do every 5 seconds? as a kid
Why have I been raised to think of disability so negatively? Because my parents brought the whole Conductive ed cure bullshit(was meant to make me free of processing issues and cure my cerebral palsy.
I hate seeing parents being told to raise their kids as "Disabled".
Why can't this kid just be raised as full toolbox?
Definitely agree. Homeschooling is all fine and well, however they don't get near the social interaction they would in a actual school setting. At least he might have a chance to meet some friends there. I know growing up and being "different" is hard for any child... but having friends that you can talk and relate to is what makes this life so bearable.
Actually I wasn't even talking about social issues relating to homeschooling. Even a lot of mainstreamed/oral dhh kids have significent social-emotional issues,and lack of exposure to other dhh peers,deaf ed,dhh role models etc...........unfortuatly our attitude towards dhh kids or blind/low vision or wheelchair kids,is that we only need the mainstream/we need to function as close to "normal" as possible, and that we need to assimulate into the mainstream.
inmate.......the DISABILTY/condition isn't what's wrong...........it's the way your parents dealt with it (ie inmate needs to function as normally as possible) that was the problem.If you had been raised with a full toolbox approach,your "disabilty" would be irreverent.....
ecp
Member
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2004
- Messages
- 622
- Reaction score
- 17
Doesn't inmate have severe CP? Even with a "full toolbox" and decades of physical and occupational therapy someone with severe CP likely wont be able to function as if they don't have a severe movement disorder.
Sadly I have to agree
What I thought Easter of the woods was doing was recommending this parenting style
ModerateGMFCS level 4 aiming for level 3 but I will never function like an able-bodied person. And it is very unlikely that I will ever function like I don't have CP. Wouldn't want to anyway
BTW Conducive ed claims to be able to cure profound quadiplegia cerebral palay
ecp
Member
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2004
- Messages
- 622
- Reaction score
- 17
I know a bit about CP. I worked for 4 years at a summer camp for kids with CP and also was a nanny for an awesome little dude with severe CP.
I wasn't saying you should or could ever function as someone without CP.
In kids, physical and occupational therapy can help tremendously but the kid will always have CP.
I have no idea WHY people think it's "best" to function as "normally" as possible, and have that be the ONLY tool that a kid with a disabilty gets....Even for those of us who can function "normally" it still takes a hell of a lot of energy for a kid with CP to function normally physically,or for a blind/low vision kid to function normally sight-wise, or for a dhh kid to function "normally"......and they're putting all that energy into trying to function as normally as possible............energy that could be better spent on producing actual CONTENT and just living LIFE!
Agreed now how to get Able-bodied parents understanding this?
I gave up with my own parents yonks ago
Eater of Worlds
Member
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2013
- Messages
- 685
- Reaction score
- 2
No, not at all, I wasn't advocating the kind of parenting that you had.
Rather, I was drawing on my own experience of having the same kind of hearing loss that this mother describes her son as having. I struggled a lot because I wasn't given the full options of what was available to me. This is why I recommend that she make sure that her son has full exposure to more than what she can provide with homeschooling. As a kid with a disability, he's just going to have to work harder in life and it's to his benefit to be given the skills early in life to accomplish what he wants to do, instead of becoming an adult first. Not just language and speech skills, but coping skills as well. It's overwhelming to be pushed into the adult world without the ability to communicate your needs and without the ability to cope, and without the ability to communicate period.
It is his choice as an adult to decide what works for him and how he'd like to have things done, but it's his parents' responsibility to give him all the tools so that he has a choice. There are many things that will be easier for him to learn as a young child than as an adult. He knows how to speak already, so learning the mechanics of how to speak clearly will make it easier for him as an adult. He can learn another language more easily (ASL), which again will make it easier for him as he grows. Learning to function with groups of hearing and groups of deaf as a child is easier than as an adult. He will have a dozen years to learn what he needs and what he likes, and that is a huge thing that you've done for him.
The only thing I came out of childhood with was the ability to speak clearly and it so wasn't enough. It was the only thing that gave me a toehold in the hearing world and I had no connection to the deaf world. I ended up taking a crash course in signing and was using interpreters within 2 years of taking my first sign class. I wish I had been taught how to deal with being the only person who can't hear in a group and I wish I had been taught signing and had friends with a hearing loss before I was in my mid-20s. It was really hard having to use paper to communicate with every single person in my life, and being able to verbally talk to hearing people was my only interaction I had with people without paper coming between us. It's very isolating to not be able to have a conversation with someone without everything being written down.
Rather, I was drawing on my own experience of having the same kind of hearing loss that this mother describes her son as having. I struggled a lot because I wasn't given the full options of what was available to me. This is why I recommend that she make sure that her son has full exposure to more than what she can provide with homeschooling. As a kid with a disability, he's just going to have to work harder in life and it's to his benefit to be given the skills early in life to accomplish what he wants to do, instead of becoming an adult first. Not just language and speech skills, but coping skills as well. It's overwhelming to be pushed into the adult world without the ability to communicate your needs and without the ability to cope, and without the ability to communicate period.
It is his choice as an adult to decide what works for him and how he'd like to have things done, but it's his parents' responsibility to give him all the tools so that he has a choice. There are many things that will be easier for him to learn as a young child than as an adult. He knows how to speak already, so learning the mechanics of how to speak clearly will make it easier for him as an adult. He can learn another language more easily (ASL), which again will make it easier for him as he grows. Learning to function with groups of hearing and groups of deaf as a child is easier than as an adult. He will have a dozen years to learn what he needs and what he likes, and that is a huge thing that you've done for him.
The only thing I came out of childhood with was the ability to speak clearly and it so wasn't enough. It was the only thing that gave me a toehold in the hearing world and I had no connection to the deaf world. I ended up taking a crash course in signing and was using interpreters within 2 years of taking my first sign class. I wish I had been taught how to deal with being the only person who can't hear in a group and I wish I had been taught signing and had friends with a hearing loss before I was in my mid-20s. It was really hard having to use paper to communicate with every single person in my life, and being able to verbally talk to hearing people was my only interaction I had with people without paper coming between us. It's very isolating to not be able to have a conversation with someone without everything being written down.