Need to Vent:

B

Bear

Guest
Just today, I decided to read in alldeaf as someone who was new to our communitity and wanted to get to know the deaf world.

I was needless to say very very shocked at what I was seeing. With renewed eyes, I saw so many things happening in here that would turn me off the deaf communitity as a whole.

It also helped to reinforce my reasons for not being involved as much as I would like.

I go into the Hearing Aid and CI threads, and boy what do I see? I'll tell ya what I see and what anyone new to this communitity would see.

1. No respect for each other and their individual opinions.

2. Name-calling and bashing each other like little kids would.

3. No compassion for each other as individuals.

4. The inability to actually debate an issue with respect.

I will say that alldeaf is not the only place I see this going on. But, being as I am in alldeaf it is the only site I can talk about per se.

I am guilty of doing some of this too people. But, come on really is this the way we want to present ourselves to the community at large?

Is this the way we want our children to see us behaving?

I have seen people worried more about what a person has said before rather than showing compassion at the current situation here in all deaf.

I see in posts all the time, instead of respecting the opposing position and saying something like, I respect your opinion, but here let me state my reasons for such and such. Heck no, I dont see that at all instead I see each side saying *You're wrong, You're opinions the wrong one* I see each side of the discussion tryin to *hammer* home that they are the only persons with the RIGHT opinion to have.

Then when they still refuse to see *your side* then you resort to name-calling and bashing. I haven't done this yet as far as I know but if I had please *slap me* and give me a wake up call!!!

One person complains about wanting a CI taken out. Do I see others showing compassion to this person and saying gee I sympathize with you and support your decision no matter what? NO, I see them questioning if their reasons were truly the right reasons for removal? Gee, I would hate for my kids to act like this. But, it is what we are showing them to do.

I could quote post after post of this going on. Will spare us all the embarrassment though. We all know we are all guilty of this at one time or another.

Question I have is what are we going to do about it?

I know what I am going to do. When I post next time, I will make sure I read the words, and think before I speak or type.

Our communitity is small in the big picture. Do we really wanna rip each other apart like this? Sure, we won't always agree, we won't always be happy with one anothers decisions, we won't even always like each other. But does that also mean we cannot respect each other?

I am not pointing the finger at any one individual and I am not naming any names. To do that It would take at least 3 pages of post with mine on top as number 1.

I just want you all to hopefully do me a favor and read your posts as an outsider would. And then ask yourself, was I respectful? Did I respect the other person's position or did I try to *hammer* home that my opinion and position was the only correct one?

Did I show compassion to another person, regardless on whether if I believe their story or not?

Did I resort to name calling or bashing?

Then picture your kids say 10-20 years from now reading what you posted. Is that what you want your children to see?

I don't know what happened to me today. But, I decided to take a long hard look at myself and the posts I made and the posts others made, and didn't like what I saw from us.

What we are truly showing the world is a bunch of immature deafies who cannot respect other's and even sometimes themselves. Name-calling that is something a child would do.

I know the truth hurts and it has me as well today, But, hopefully this will be a wake up call to us all.

We can't expect others to support us and our causes when we refuse to support our own and our own causes.

I truly do not believe we are this immature. So, why are we ALL including myself at times acting it?

I say from this moment on let bygones be bygones and stop trying to aggravate each other and start showing the world what we are truly made of.


Bear
 
That is why I stopped posting much in that area of this forum. I am sick and tired of it myself. When I posted in TWO threads "Best of luck to you on your CI.", I got some people saying "Yeah, right, you're lying about that..." but I really did wish them the best of luck. I try to be respectful, but all I get is bashing in the form of "You're just a snotty 19-year-old idiot who wants to deprive people of sound!" and accusations that I somehow think I know everything. So I just give up there. I don't need people calling me a "peabrain" just for stating that the mouth isn't the only way to communicate.

So I just dropped out of there. Thanks for this post. It was much-needed.
 
Heath said:
Well Said !!!!! :gpost:
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Thank you, just felt something needed to be said. It has been bothering me in my mind all day. So decided to post my feelings.
 
gnulinuxman said:
That is why I stopped posting much in that area of this forum. I am sick and tired of it myself. When I posted in TWO threads "Best of luck to you on your CI.", I got some people saying "Yeah, right, you're lying about that..." but I really did wish them the best of luck. I try to be respectful, but all I get is bashing in the form of "You're just a snotty 19-year-old idiot who wants to deprive people of sound!" and accusations that I somehow think I know everything. So I just give up there. I don't need people]calling me a "peabrain" just for stating that the mouth isn't the only way to communicate.

So I just dropped out of there. Thanks for this post. It was much-needed.
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Ok Gnu, thank you for your kind reply to my posting, but may I ask you edit that and leave the other threads out of it. I am not doing this to *point fingers*. I have seen you as well guilty of much of this.

I chose just to have it as a opinion post, and not as a *finger-pointing* post.

I respect that some of this has happened to you as well. I have seen it. But please respect this posting and dont bring the *wars* in here.

It's distasteful to say gee this one called me that and this and show who is saying what.

Thanks,

Bear
 
Bear said:
Ok Gnu, thank you for your kind reply to my posting, but may I ask you edit that and leave the other threads out of it. I am not doing this to *point fingers*. I have seen you as well guilty of much of this.
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Well, I was, but I just want it all to stop now. It has become an ego battle rather than a discussion. Yes, I just fixed it, so you may want to edit your quote...
 
gnulinuxman said:
Well, I just want it all to stop. Yes, I just fixed it, so you may want to edit your quote...
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LOL thank you and I appreciate it. I don't blame you about wanting it all to stop. I think it needs to or I think we all need to take a break from the topcs that enrage us and come back with a cooler head and then post.

Thanks,

Bear
 
I've been using the "New Posts" button a lot lately and found a lot of interesting discussions that are more interesting than cochlear implant wars, like cat discussions, news stories, artwork, etc. Thank goodness AllDeaf has more to offer than just hearing aid and cochlear implant flame wars!
 
ok

I tried to post my opinion and try to show my feelings too but anyhow that was well said.

Deaflinuxgeek
 
deaflinuxgeek said:
I tried to post my opinion and try to show my feelings too but anyhow that was well said.

Deaflinuxgeek
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Thank you, I am glad to find others not getting upset at my post. This is a major start to showing how mature we can be. LOL

Thanks,

Bear
 
Bear said:
Thank you, I am glad to find others not getting upset at my post. This is a major start to showing how mature we can be. LOL

Thanks,

Bear
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Oh, come on, you are describing feelings many of us have felt for too long. ;)
 
Ah interesting vent, Bear... yeah some folks have gone out of wacko with some replies that are really far out of reach..and I sometimes roll my eyes up at that happening and thinking to myself, what is really going on and etc... so I dont even bother to comment or post in some sections that I feel are not really intreresting to me very much.. and some sectoins are interesting for me to post in there as I feel like it... so it was a good vent ya had going, Bear..some good points and more... very nice way to say what ya gotta say off your chest as to some things in here in AD and more..
 
Thank You NS and Gnu, I just hope the vent isnt going to go to waste lol. I hope it is truly a wake up call for us ALL.

Thanks,

bear
 
Bear,

I appreciate that you outspoken with your feelings here. I've not thought about "what if children sees our posts in future", etc...Very good point!

I agree with you 100% you said here...Thank you for reminding me and I need to keep my waking up calls about myself carefully...

Thank you...:hug:
 
Bear!!! :applause:

I must dive in this monitor and find you to give you hug!! that what I have been trying to tell others, even I repeated the alldeaf rules..

no one seems take it, they kept going on and on.. I might did press buttons but in good way, i gave alot advice or pointers... all i get slap in face by them but few did compliments..

If you find anything bad posts made by me, sorry..
 
That right i agree with you Sis Bear everytime i read their's post i was like oh boyy ..that why i ani't post in other thread bec i rather keep stay out that's all and i m proud of you what you did right things how ur feel :hug:
 
Thank you all! LOl Doofus. I wouldn't mind anyone finding me haha.

Just felt something needed to be said that's all. I am glad I made you wake up coloravalanche and think about your kids reading it in the future.

Unfortunately, my kid has already read in all deaf a few times. Luckily, she hasn't posted yet or told me off for acting immature myself at times.

But, I do hate to think what she thought of her mother after reading my posts LOL.

Doofus, you keep right on a going with posting about the rules and telling us off when we slip!! I would welcome you to do that to me and give me a *whack* lmao. I do realize we will slip from time to time. But it is always good to keep in mind who is reading our posts and trying to gather information from us and simply not getting it because of all the other crap going on.


Thanks,

Bear
 
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