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queenie22luv

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I'm hearing and have a deaf boyfriend. He is 3-4 years older than me! Today we were suppose to hang out and he wanted me to meet his family but 30 mins before I left my house. He tells me his friend is in the hospital and he has to go see him and has been ignoring me all day but also been online posting stuff and didn't mention anything about his friend! I then realized he lied about his friend being in the hospital! Why would he do this? And why lie about his friend then ignore me? What does this mean? That it's over or what? I'm extremely confused and don't know what to do now, I'm extremely hurt and heart broken that he lied to me...
 
Ask him if he is still in a relationship with you. If he says no, move on.

Lying in a relationship isn't a deaf specific issue, unless someone is lying about deafness.

Talk with him about your issues. If you can't work them out with him, find someone who will.
 
Yes I know lying has nothing to do with deafness! I was also putting a little info about us on here!
It's truly messed about for someone to lie about a friend being in the hospital! Idk where I even stand in his life
 
queenie22luv said:
Yes I know lying has nothing to do with deafness! I was also putting a little info about us on here!
It's truly messed about for someone to lie about a friend being in the hospital! Idk where I even stand in his life
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I'm not discouraging the post, just pointing out a fact.

I'm sure you will get more advice on here..
 
any time someone who is lying then this person is not the right for you. thats it.
 
Did I just hear hospital joke? Lying is one thing. To make it about hospital is a poor taste
 
I hate to break it to you but it sounds like he doesn't want to deal with you anymore.

My advice at this point is to send a message, "So what's going on?" and if he doesn't reply, well it's time to move on. I know it sucks that he's not being honest about it but he probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings and ironically giving the silent treatment makes it even worse. Oh well you don't want to have him anyway if that's how he handles problems.
 
Tell him that his mother is in the hospital now and that you are visiting her.

Just kidding.

What others said is good advice.
 
Don't waste your time with a liar because all he will be doing years from now will be spinning the web with more lies.
 
Does your deaf boyfriend know ASL? If he is a ASL user, do you sign ASL?

There might be a problem with communication between the two of you. He does seem to change from one topic about having you meet his parents and the next saying that he is going to the hospital to see his friend. I have a feeling maybe he does not want to be with you for some reason. Did you confront and ask him why he was changing from meeting his parents and then going to the hospital to see his friend? He may give you reason why he did that. Also most hearing people who are in the relationship with the d/Deaf boyfriends or girlfriends are always trying to control them like a child instead of grown ups. They expect their deaf boyfriend or deaf girlfriend to be like hearing person. That is not going to happen at all. You are going to have to accept him the way he is and you can not change him for what you want from him.

So talk with him about that and let us know. If he want to break up with you, then you need to move on and find some hearing boyfriend instead of deaf boyfriend. Good luck.
 
Bebonang said:
So talk with him about that and let us know. If he want to break up with you, then you need to move on and find some hearing boyfriend instead of deaf boyfriend. Good luck.
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It is not for you to tell people to find a hearing boyfriend instead of a deaf boyfriend. This is akin to telling a person to find a white boyfriend instead of a black boyfriend. Whoever she falls in love is her choice and hers alone. It is not really whether or not the person is deaf, but more so the character of the person that is much more important to look at.
 
respectyoda said:

It is not for you to tell people to find a hearing boyfriend instead of a deaf boyfriend. This is akin to telling a person to find a white boyfriend instead of a black boyfriend. Whoever she falls in love is her choice and hers alone. It is not really whether or not the person is deaf, but more so the character of the person that is much more important to look at.
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You don't know anything about Deaf Culture when it come with hearing people. I don't want her to control over him and/or use him for what she want from him. This happen a lot in the d/Deaf and hearing relationship. This might be a sign saying that he does not want to be with her if she was controlling him for her use. I don't know but that is the blunt truth of being in a deaf/hearing relationship. :(
 
Hearing / Deaf relationships do tend to be more difficult, not going to lie there. Though, it is odd he had it all set for you to meet his parents and all of the sudden canceled. :hmm: Regardless of either, it is wrong that he lied there. I wouldn't even give him a chance to explain. Lying is lying... and lying about someone being in the hospital is even worse! You lie to me... that's it... period. You deserve better than to be lied to. Be done with it and move on to someone better... end of story.
 
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