National Coming Out Day

D

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2003
Messages
15,787
Reaction score
301
Was yesterday, but I thought I would start a thread anyway.
In honor of National Coming Out Day, here is my coming-out story, which I don't believe I've ever posted here before.
I remember as a young teen I had no clue that I liked girls. I totally thought I was straight. I had guy crushes, on boys.
Then when I was fifteen, I fell in love with my best friend at an all girls camp. At the time I thought that I just really liked her as a best friend. Then the last Sunday of third session, she got some sort of special award. I went up to her to give her a hug. She gave me a HUGE wet sloppy kiss on the cheek. I remember thinking "OMG that feels amazing! OMG I'm in love with a GIRL?!?!?!" Freaked me out to put it mildly.
I remember the first time I had a fanasty about lesbian sex....Just a few months before, I'd had no clue how two women did it together.
I never told my crush that I had feelings for her. We just were best friends.
Although I do remember the next year, one of my counselors was all " You love her don't you?" I remember standing there, in the cabin and thinking "is it that obvious?"
I was very confused that summer. I can still remember lying in my bunk at camp thinking " I'm in love with a GIRL?!?!?"
I'm not sure if anyone else there knew that I was attracted to women. Ironicly I have found out that there was a lesbian couple who worked there, and a few of my friends from there turned out to be either lesbian or bi.
High school sucked socially for me. Didn't date then. In college, I dated some......I think most of my friends figured I was just a straight girl. Then my third semester I got assigned to a dorm where two of the RAs were lesbian. I actually became friends with a whole bunch of campus lesbians.
Oh dude. *starts to laugh* It seemed like the entire softball team had a thing for me. Just laughing remembering those days.
My last year at college, the Dani incident basicly busted down the closet door. Found out that a lot of my friends knew I wasn't exactly straight. I was still kind of in the closet since my college was a working class Yah Dude college.
I have recently come out to my uncle and my sister. I'm still not out to my parents. Every single time my mom goes " we need to find you a husband or a boyfriend and have a wedding!" I'm always internally replying " Well since I'm a lesbian leaning bisexual chick with no luck with realtionships, I doubt that's going to happen any time soon" I do think my parents suspect something.......it just hasn't been confirmed.
A lot of my friends told me that they knew I was bi.
What's YOUR story?
 
Sure, I'll play. :) I came out in high school, junior year. Same type of thing (most of them are, I guess). I had no idea, always had crushes on and dated guys, and then started to notice I was feeling a little "differently" towards one of my best friends. :shock: I'm a sucker for pretty girls with no self-esteem, I guess. :lol: Except I stopped wanting to just tell her that she was beautiful and amazing, and started wanting to show her, if that makes any sense. Anyways, so I finally realized what was going on, and told her, and helped set her up with this total douche at school. (Well she was straight, what was I gonna do?)

Anyways, a few months later, I met my first gf at a softball game (go figure, haha). We started dating like a week later, just in time for junior prom. I told my parents, who were kind of freaked out at first, but they're totally fine with it now, and love my current girlfriend (and hopefully soon-to-be fiancee).

I love how something like that totally blindsided me, even though basically none of my friends were surprised. Looking back, though, it all makes sense, so they were probably right. :giggle:

Anyone else? :wave:
 
Me 2 ;)

When I was 16 years old, my very first time I ever admitted to my friend was my best friend Jake. I remember I went to his house and I asked him if he want a ride to someplace to eat so we got in the car, I was driving. Somehow I feel like I have to tell him this time, I felt it's right time for me to tell him so I told him that I have something to tell him that he might don't like, he ask me if it was about my family, my friends, my life, etc. and I told him no it's just my personality, he look down and say "I knew it" and then he asked me if I like men? I was like um yes... He scoffs and ask me why I like men, I told him that they just attracted me and after that, we still are best friend and doing same thing as normally.

After that, mostly when I admitted to most of people, they told me that they already knew that I was gay. I guess they knew me pretty well and doesn't have to make big deal of it :)
 
I love how something like that totally blindsided me, even though basically none of my friends were surprised.
Click to expand...
Ditto! I so clearly remember lying in my bunk at camp thinking " OMG I'm love with a girl? I was so freaking scared and confused. I was so surprised that I was having those feelings for a girl. None of my friends seemed to be all that surprised that I liked girls.....I guess its b/c I've always been a huge tomboy type.
 
it is very and really nice to read some experienced stories you guys. I still believe there is no reason to hide who you truly are, just be yourself. :)
 
Karissa, I grew up in a very....well the suburb I grew up in wasn't that welcoming to people who were "diffferent" Heck it took me YEARS to come to terms with the fact that I'm deaf!
 
deafdyke said:
I would love to be more open about being bi. It is so hard thou :(
Click to expand...

I can't imagine not telling my parents. Right now we're dealing with a lot of problems with my gf's parents (basically them not having any idea what they're talking about... ever :roll:) but it must be so hard to have to hide it from them. Do you know how they would react? Has the topic ever come up at all in, like, a general way?
 
deafdyke said:
Karissa, I grew up in a very....well the suburb I grew up in wasn't that welcoming to people who were "diffferent" Heck it took me YEARS to come to terms with the fact that I'm deaf!
Click to expand...

Yes, I remembered some bitter and sad experienced stories from a several friends of mine, espeically Puyo. It made me so sad that is not so easy for them... I feel people should tolerance toward GBLT community more, they also should welcome them..
 
Actually, I didnt bother my parents about being coming out because they are strict family. My gf 's parents are wonderful people to meet.
 
deafdyke said:
I would love to be more open about being bi. It is so hard thou :(
Click to expand...

I don't understand why it would be hard to be open about being bi?

My friend who is gay says that people who are bi are in a transition phase between straight and gay. I disagree. I think it's possible for a person to be sexually attracted to both genders.

We invent these labels (straight, gay and bisexual) because humans have a need to paint themselves into a corner or they need a convenient identity.
 
Well this past weekend, I came out to more people at my college's homecoming. I also just found out that my cabin mate from '95 now is a hardcore lesbian! I think there must have been something in the water there...LOL.
I think part of not being officailly out to my parents is that it's taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I'm bi. If I ever get a girlfriend, I will tell them.
 
BradB08 said:
I don't understand why it would be hard to be open about being bi?

My friend who is gay says that people who are bi are in a transition phase between straight and gay. I disagree. I think it's possible for a person to be sexually attracted to both genders.

We invent these labels (straight, gay and bisexual) because humans have a need to paint themselves into a corner or they need a convenient identity.
Click to expand...

Bisexual people get a lot of shit from the gay community, it sucks.
 
I'll play too (yay procrastination). I was raised LDS (mormon), hella religious family. I'm the youngest of 7 kids - 5 older brothers, 1 older sister.

Came out when I was 14 years old and was sent to Love in Action to be "turned" straight or encouraged to live a celibate life. Yeah, fuck that! While I was at the camp 8 GLBT teens killed themselves. I've made it my personal goal to bring down those camps. ANYWAYS. When I got back from camp *still gay, durrr* my parents kicked me out. I lived with friends, homeless shelters for teens, etc. Then when I turned 15 I met Bryan who was 19 (yeah, I know!). I moved with him to San Francisco and we went out for three years.

I reconciled with my parents (still working on dad), graduated high school, and got a scholorship for gay kids who were kicked out. So I'm getting an awesome education at UC Berkeley for free :P

Because my own coming out experience was traumatizing (I <3 my therapist) I am hypersensitive about GLBT issues but not victim minded. I'm proud of myself for overcoming that bullshit, and would like to help other GLBT youth.
 
Last edited:
SFShawn13 said:
I'll play too (yay procrastination). I was raised LDS (mormon), hella religious family. I'm the youngest of 7 kids - 5 older brothers, 1 older sister.

Came out when I was 14 years old and was sent to Love in Action to be "turned" straight or encouraged to live a celibate life. Yeah, fuck that! While I was at the camp 8 GLBT teens killed themselves. I've made it my personal goal to bring down those camps. ANYWAYS. When I got back from camp *still gay, durrr* my parents kicked me out. I lived with friends, homeless shelters for teens, etc. Then when I turned 15 I met Bryan who was 19 (yeah, I know!). I moved with him to San Francisco and we went out for three years.

I reconciled with my parents (still working on dad), graduated high school, and got a scholorship for gay kids who were kicked out. So I'm getting an awesome education at UC Berkeley for free :P

Because my own coming out experience was traumatizing (I <3 my therapist) I am hypersensitive about GLBT issues but not victim minded. I'm proud of myself for overcoming that bullshit, and would like to help other GLBT youth.
Click to expand...

Good for you for turning a negative situation into a positive one. Sorry that you had to endure what you had to endure.

What ar eyou going to major in at UC Berk?
 
KarissaMann05 said:
Yes, I remembered some bitter and sad experienced stories from a several friends of mine, espeically Puyo. It made me so sad that is not so easy for them... I feel people should tolerance toward GBLT community more, they also should welcome them..
Click to expand...

Ohh I didn't notice that you mentioned my name lol, yeah in some way it might not easy to be that open with everyone. If they find it problem, I tend to consider it their problem, not mine ;)
 
Byrdie714 said:
Good for you for turning a negative situation into a positive one. Sorry that you had to endure what you had to endure.

What ar eyou going to major in at UC Berk?
Click to expand...

Psychology and women and gender studies, with a minor in cultural studies :)
 
Back
Top