My son is Deaf, Finally!

faire_jour said:
Geez? Really? Are you saying that if he had actually done this, that it is ok? (Yeah, I know he didn't, but IF)
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No, that is not what she said at all. She was commenting on the double standard that is evident.
 
deafgal001 said:
Wirelessly posted

She thinks both is wrong.
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Exactly. Bebonang is talking about the double standard of the deaf being judged more harshly than the hearing and how society believes it is acceptable or even desirable for a hearing parent to try and make a deaf child hearing, but are aghast at any suggestion of the opposite. It shows exactly how much prejudice is still out there.
 
jillio said:
Exactly. Bebonang is talking about the double standard of the deaf being judged more harshly than the hearing and how society believes it is acceptable or even desirable for a hearing parent to try and make a deaf child hearing, but are aghast at any suggestion of the opposite. It shows exactly how much prejudice is still out there.
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If you had an hearing child, would you make your child become deaf?
 
faire_jour said:
Geez? Really? Are you saying that if he had actually done this, that it is ok? (Yeah, I know he didn't, but IF)
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Why are you always so defensive? I think you read into things wrong because I didn't feel like that was what she was saying...
 
faire_jour said:
Geez? Really? Are you saying that if he had actually done this, that it is ok? (Yeah, I know he didn't, but IF)
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deafgal001 said:
Wirelessly posted

She thinks both is wrong.
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deafgal001 said:
Wirelessly posted

They way I saw it is that she was talking about the hypocrisy in CI.
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Bebonang said:
The Social Worker is wrong as it is up to the individuals like the Deaf parents if they had decided if they want to make the hearing son or daughter to be deaf. This is a wishful thinking and many of us, Deafies, would love to have them become deaf like us. And yes, it is about CI hypocrisy. :ty:
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jillio said:
No, that is not what she said at all. She was commenting on the double standard that is evident.
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blank canvas said:
Why are you always so defensive? I think you read into things wrong because I didn't feel like that was what she was saying...
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I'm with the majority here... ha
 
Bebonang said:
The Social Worker is wrong as it is up to the individuals like the Deaf parents if they had decided if they want to make the hearing son or daughter to be deaf. This is a wishful thinking and many of us, Deafies, would love to have them become deaf like us. And yes, it is about CI hypocrisy. :ty:
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Huh.... and the majority thinks that Bebonang is saying that in BOTH situations, the parents are doing something WRONG?

I disagree, maybe I have horrible reading skills since I was brought up without ASL, but.... the way I read her post above, she is saying that CI hypocrisy is wrong because if the parents can implant their child, the deaf parents should be able to make their child deaf. And she said that the social worker is wrong because it IS up to the parents to do what they want (make their child hearing or deaf).

Also, I believe that she'd rather eliminate implanting children as a whole rather than make her child deaf, BUT while CI implantation of kids still exists..... it's free for all! "If you can do that, I should be able to do this too!"
 
Daredevel7 said:
Huh.... and the majority thinks that Bebonang is saying that in BOTH situations, the parents are doing something WRONG?

I disagree, maybe I have horrible reading skills since I was brought up without ASL, but.... the way I read her post above, she is saying that CI hypocrisy is wrong because if the parents can implant their child, the deaf parents should be able to make their child deaf. And she said that the social worker is wrong because it IS up to the parents to do what they want (make their child hearing or deaf).

Also, I believe that she'd rather eliminate implanting children as a whole rather than make her child deaf, BUT while CI implantation of kids still exists..... it's free for all! "If you can do that, I should be able to do this too!"
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I'll just say this: I was thrilled to find that my daughter was Deaf.
 
I may not agree that this reflects the same issue as deciding to get a CI, only from a deaf perspective, but that's just my opinion -- obviously the person who made it and many others feel differently. And although I might roll my eyes, the video gets that message across in a pretty high-impact way.

But then, I also liked Flip's "Big Day" post on choosing not to get a CI, silence activation coming up -- just without the nastiness that became part of the thread.

I guess I just think it's pretty silly to get worked up over the video -- no matter whether you represent the deaf majority who are accepting of CIs or the minority who are against CIs.

Deaf people who want to remove their child's hearing aren't really being persecuted. No social services were deployed to investigate a youtube video that culminated in a picture of the guy's dog in the role of "son" -- think about the number of real and documented abuses that go unchecked by social services, it's not like they have a division out there looking for business investigating TV characters and actors on YT.

And isn't it also obvious that no one here is really promoting that we rip out CODAs' cochleas in some kind of two for one deal: circumcision + cochleaectomy or scheduling a quick trip to the hospital get the tonsils, adenoids & cochleas out? There's all kinds of great real-life stuff we could be bickering endlessly about.
 
That is why we, Deaf people, want the hearing people just leave the deaf babies and also deaf children alone until they can make their own decision. There were too many CI to the deaf babies and young children that it is not fair to do that like that. It does not help to restore hearing as it is a TOOL including paying for the devices to keep the CI going. You just don't need surgery for that.

It is better to have both hearing children and deaf children as natural as possible. If you want the deaf child to hear, then use hearing aids until she or he can decide if they want to have CI. Why are you all trying to make deaf children talk and listen when all the deaf children want is sign language like ASL? Listening is not going to help at all anyway. If it is hard of hearing and can understand spoken language with listening, maybe they can do it but often they don't, even trying to understand a person over the telephone. You, hearing people, are way overboard on CI. Like in the wacky world of Reverse Planet, the hearing daughter of the Deaf parents (they do not want to have implant in their daughter's brain to make her deaf) said "I am so proud to be hearing". Well, that is exactly what we want for us saying that we are proud of being deaf instead of being so ashame of being deaf (hiding their deafness) and want us to get us "fix". That is what is wrong with this picture if hearing people can not leave us alone as the way we are. :(
 
posts from hell said:
I'll just say this: I was thrilled to find that my daughter was Deaf.
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Of course you were. It is natural. The problem is, hearing parents don't seem to grasp the fact that when they are told their child is deaf, part of the reaction they have (even when they hide and deny the most natural feelings in the world) is based on the fact that their child is different from them. They have no idea what to do with a deaf child. They know what to do with a hearing child, because they are hearing. They have been a hearing child. That is why I believe that it is so important that hearing parents turn to the deaf community to discover what it is to be a deaf child, and what a deaf child needs for optimal development and growth. Deaf adults have been deaf children. They are the only ones who know, first hand, what it is to be a deaf child.

The parents who fail to do this are the ones that spend their child's entire life trying to make them more like a hearing child. They try to change the child. The ones who do it not only accept their child's deafness, they embrace it. They are the ones that change themselves, not the child.
 
GrendelQ said:
I may not agree that this reflects the same issue as deciding to get a CI, only from a deaf perspective, but that's just my opinion -- obviously the person who made it and many others feel differently. And although I might roll my eyes, the video gets that message across in a pretty high-impact way.

But then, I also liked Flip's "Big Day" post on choosing not to get a CI, silence activation coming up -- just without the nastiness that became part of the thread.

I guess I just think it's pretty silly to get worked up over the video -- no matter whether you represent the deaf majority who are accepting of CIs or the minority who are against CIs.

Deaf people who want to remove their child's hearing aren't really being persecuted. No social services were deployed to investigate a youtube video that culminated in a picture of the guy's dog in the role of "son" -- think about the number of real and documented abuses that go unchecked by social services, it's not like they have a division out there looking for business investigating TV characters and actors on YT.

And isn't it also obvious that no one here is really promoting that we rip out CODAs' cochleas in some kind of two for one deal: circumcision + cochleaectomy or scheduling a quick trip to the hospital get the tonsils, adenoids & cochleas out? There's all kinds of great real-life stuff we could be bickering endlessly about.
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Unfortunately, deaf parents are reported to CS at a disproportionate rate, simply because hearing society, in general, perceives them as less able to parent. The vast majority of these reports end with no findings of neglect or abuse, but the parents are still subjected to an investigation based on nothing more than hearing bias.
 
jillio said:
Unfortunately, deaf parents are reported to CS at a disproportionate rate, simply because hearing society, in general, perceives them as less able to parent. The vast majority of these reports end with no findings of neglect or abuse, but the parents are still subjected to an investigation based on nothing more than hearing bias.
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Like that deaf father for not making his child wear her implants. There is something seriously wrong with that picture.
 
Daredevel7 said:
Huh.... and the majority thinks that Bebonang is saying that in BOTH situations, the parents are doing something WRONG?

I disagree, maybe I have horrible reading skills since I was brought up without ASL, but.... the way I read her post above, she is saying that CI hypocrisy is wrong because if the parents can implant their child, the deaf parents should be able to make their child deaf. And she said that the social worker is wrong because it IS up to the parents to do what they want (make their child hearing or deaf).

Also, I believe that she'd rather eliminate implanting children as a whole rather than make her child deaf, BUT while CI implantation of kids still exists..... it's free for all! "If you can do that, I should be able to do this too!"
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You don't have horrible reading skills, but this is something I see happening a lot here. People who aren't strong in ASL misread the wording and phrasing of people who are strong in ASL. That is because of the differences in cognitive processing in these two groups that someone poo-pooed when I insisted that there are cognitive differences.
 
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