my girl's missing...

[racheleggert]

I am glad that everything work out well for you and lesile... I hope she doesn't do that again.

 

[Steel X]

Then why did you call her as your "girl"? I thought you guys broke up many months ago.

yes we did and she decided to accept me as a friend, but seriously...should friends keep some things to themselves that some others should know about?

If she already has a boyfriend, she should've told me. but why didn't she tell me already as she hasn't dated anyone else in awhile and I haven't as well.
even her family didn't even know she has one, but they told me that she lies about alot of things, so it wasn't the first time she told me she had a boyfriend...even after I broke up with her and after awhile I've been giving alot of thinking and told her that I give her another chance to work it out and she said she'll think about it...then about 3 weeks later or so, as I was being so kind and respectful to her and try not to talk too much about getting back together, she seems so uncomfortable seeing me and then we had a fight on the phone why she wouldn't even accept my hug as a friend and she said she didn't feel comfortable even after the letter i wrote to her and it was the truth, after all but she didn't even seem to accept the truth and gets so pissed off and then told me that she has a boyfriend at high school now and don't have to tell me everything, blah blah blah then i went over to her house to get my stuff back and then had another talk with her about that i can't do everything "right" for her and she acts like I should do everything for her and told her how it hurts me deeply that she has a boyfriend and that I'm not good enough for her, etc...and thats when I was crying and she tried to hug me from crying and then said that the only way to make up is to be friends and we still are, and she said she doesn't really have a boyfriend, but did kiss afew guys before so I dunno...perhas she doesn't even know what it takes to have a TRUE boyfriend, you know? by being the true boyfriend, you wouldn't just buy her drugs and alchol and have sex with her all the time...that's not what's true love is about, you know?
so, even I read some of the letters written by some guy in school saying he wants a girlfriend, which one of her cousins accidently dropped in my car and I read it and her cousin said that letter was written WAY back in december, even the month before I invited her to my sister's wedding and we had a blast and she even thinks we "might" get married when she's 23 and I'm 26 so I dunno... even my brother thinks she's rushing things abit too fast.
I still like her alot, and I know she's really a good person just deep, DEEP inside...but on the outside, she can be so weird and rude and try to hit on you to get you things all the time...so I had enough of that crap with her. I've decided to take a nice long break from her and even though she said she doesn't love me anymore she should've told me a long time ago and we shouldn't stay friends that way when someone doesn't still love the other person after they break up and it would be so weird if she is still friends with me, as an ex-boyfriend and that she has a new boyfriend (which I never even met nor heard of his name, so I think she's just making stuff up)then I wouldn't want to be friends with her anymore and just want to move on and find somone who can ACCEPT me and give me as much fair chances as possible. She WAS my girl when we were great friends, but now...after a huge fight we had, she's just an old fashioned, regular friend to me...who doesn't really mean too much to me right now. I don't think she really understand how much I really love her and care for her and that I would even take a bullet for her, etc...I guess I don't have what she wants and I can't do anything to make her happy, etc...only SHE can make herself happy.

Right now she has serious loads of problems, and I'm not going to be involved in it...right now I'm just leaving her some space and time and I'm going to move on with my life and perhas someday find the best girl who would be very forgiving, very mature, and totally not into drugs and achcol, etc...
she has already moved on, and told me that I should too...so she should've told me sooner...I dont even know why nearly every other week she kept texting me to come over and take her to places where she needs to buy things and then come over and watch movies with her family and stuff...etc...

I NEVER even met any of her friends from school, or a "boyfriend" as she mentioned, and one of her cousins told me that she lies alot, and she may or may not have one, but seen him once before...but I think her aunt kicked him out for some weird reason lol

even the day after a fight, she asked me if I'm still going to the talent show, and I said okay and even before the show, I gave her some flowers a gift and she loved it so it seems that everything was back to normal as before, I dunno...

Just the day after the talent show, she texted me again and told me to come over to her place right now because she needs a ride to get some checks cashed and I told her that I'm on the way to meet my mom near the hospital, where my stepfather is staying for cancer, and told her that if it's quick, then I can take her to the place to get it cashed, but we only went to two places and they won't even accept her social security stuff, so I told her that I dont have much time right now and must meet my mom near the hospital and she told me that she wants us to go get my aunt first and then go back to the check chased place but damn I was already late! I told my mom that I meet her at 6:15 and it was around 6:30 already and I told her we can try again next time and she was like 'WHATEVER!" and then took her home and told her that I'm sorry but she should've told me the night before so I wouldn't be late seeing my mom and she said she forgot about the date for the check cashed stuff, so it's not my fault or hers, but she seems to blame me for making her late *sigh* so anyway I quickly went back to see my mom and seen my stepfather at the hospital and after all it was done, went back to her house and told her how stressed she was being and that it wasn't even the best time to do so told her we can try again torromow but she said never mind and that her aunt will take her instead so I'm like, "okay...so u forgive me?" and she said "yes and I'll text you whenever I need to." and then I just hugged her and then told her bye and love her and I left as she said bye and shut the door.

like some people tells me...teenage girls are SO friggin' weird. :roll:

so I'm not going to see her in awhile but would still be her friend, no matter what and would be her friend whenever she needs one to talk with, to hug with, nor to spend time with. I already realized of how lonely and depressed she has been lately...so she's not alone, but right now I'm just leaving her alone as she needs to be.

Let's just not talk about this again and it's time to move on.

Life is about learning.