my experience with this forum as a parent with a child who has a CI

[DefLord]

I came to this forum to expeirence and to learn more about the deaf culture. I had no prior expeirence within the deaf community up until my daughter was born. She was found to have a profound hearing loss in both ears at the age of 1 due to our suspicions.No hearing test was done at birth. She wore HA for 1 year and did not benefit much from them. Next came the decision for the CI. After all my research and talking to doctors and other parents who had their children implanted, i decided to go ahead with the surgery. Believe it's not an easy choice for a parent to send their child into surgery but i wanted to give her a chance in expeirencing the hearing world as well. So far she's loving it. In the future if she decices she dosent want to hear no more, then as her mother i will support her 110%. As her mother i did what a parent does for their child and that is give her all the possibilities that life can give. As for those who argue the fact that the decision to implant should be made when the child is old enough , you have to understand that the CI is most effective when implanted between the ages of 1 and 3. with all that said i know i did the best thing for her. It just bothers me that i came to this forum for a chance to learn about the deaf culture so i can educate her about it as she gets older but i'm seeing so much anger. I want her to expeirence both worlds but i certainly don't want her to be ridiculed by anyone just because she has a CI. No parent would want that for their child. So please instead of pointing fingers at parents just try to understand we want to do do what's best for our children.

All I can say NOT all people are the same - I am from a deaf family. My brother and I both went to Gallaudet and both are active in the deaf community. I have a CI - my brother doesnt. But point being - dont let what one or 100 people say influence your feelings. I think as the older your child will grow more acceptance will come around for CI's. CI is a hot debatable issue but it is part of life. I do not regret getting my CI and I still embrace my deaf culture even though some of them are pretty stubborn but she will turn out just fine. You are a parent and you are doing what is best for your CHILD. No one is raising your child but you.

 

[Cloggy]

Kayala,

I found the topic just now...
Good to see you allready have such support around you. Many of the names will come by while you orient yourself on the messageboard.
It took me a while, but they became close friends.... weired how that can work on a messageboard.

We could point you to subjects, but I guess the best way is to look for yourself as you have been doing.
Another way that worked for me is the do a search on the usernames that you have met up to now, and read the topic-starts.
Often the topics dilute in a discussion, but the beginning of the topics show a lot about the person that started it.

Like I explaioned before, I'm in the position where you will be in the future. We have 3 children, 2 are hearing, 1 is deaf, the youngest; 3¾ years old. (none of them listning )
She got bi-lateral implants in November 2004 and is on the way to become chatterbox nr.3
If you want to meet her... click the signature below..
For us, deafness was something we never had contact with, but learning about it has been - and is - a great journey!

C U later... and take care. There's lots of people here that are ready to help you whenever and however they can... (all within the internet possibilities...)

 

[kayla123]

I would rather ridicule you, not her.

lol...gnu you really need to get a life, first of all i would not take anything you say to heart because you are a VERY ignornant person. I am aware that people have the right to give me their opinion whether they agree with me or not, but as for you from what i've read in your posts, your just here because you like the thrill of a good argument. I am here to further my knowledge about the deaf culture for my daughter and you are here because of?????. I want to thank everybody for your support, i appreciate it so much. And again gnu you SERIOUSLY need to get a life dude.

 

[DefLord]

lol...gnu you really need to get a life, first of all i would not take anything you say to heart because you are a VERY ignornant person. I am aware that people have the right to give me their opinion whether they agree with me or not, but as for you from what i've read in your posts, your just here because you like the thrill of a good argument. I am here to further my knowledge about the deaf culture for my daughter and you are here because of?????. I want to thank everybody for your support, i appreciate it so much. And again gnu you SERIOUSLY need to get a life dude.

Ahhh I'd ignore him - he is a hearie who wants to be deaf.

 

[kayla123]

Ahhh I'd ignore him - he is a hearie who wants to be deaf.

LOL, sure seems like it

 

[deafdyke]

2kids1hoh, I would suggest contacting the Long Island branch of NAD. Some state branches of NAD offer a mentor program where hearing parents of dhh kids are hooked up with a Deaf mentor who then teaches them Sign.

If you choose the audio verbal approach(thats what i chose for kayla) it's extensive therapy at home as well as with the therapist. I gotta say though it's worth every moment of it

WOW!!!!! An auditory-verbal parent who is interested in having their deaf kid learn Sign!!!! Wish more auditory-verbal parents were like you...I really do! And it's great that you're gonna expose your child to ASL and Deaf culture early on!
Just as an aside.....I think the auditory-verbal methodology can be overkill.
I do think that visits to an auditory-verbal therapist can help speech development, but going whole hog(note I said WHOLE HOG) with auditory-verbal is essentially saying that a dhh kid's life should be eternal speech therapy. Also, I think some of the auditory-verbal "sucesses", are simply the result of hyper/overprogramming. Be very very cautious. Don't mean to step on anyone's toes......just want a new parent to undy that auditory-verbal isn't automaticly A HOLY GRAIL.

 

[hootster]

lol...gnu you really need to get a life, first of all i would not take anything you say to heart because you are a VERY ignornant person. I am aware that people have the right to give me their opinion whether they agree with me or not, but as for you from what i've read in your posts, your just here because you like the thrill of a good argument. I am here to further my knowledge about the deaf culture for my daughter and you are here because of?????. I want to thank everybody for your support, i appreciate it so much. And again gnu you SERIOUSLY need to get a life dude.

I told him that he needed to get a life a long time ago.

He didnt listen.

Dont worry about him.

 

[Fragmenter]

I told him that he needed to get a life a long time ago.

He didnt listen.

Dont worry about him.

Quoted For Truth

 

[Victorias mom]

I had a nice little conversation with him in PM about how I don't love my daughter and CI's aren't the only way to show a child you love them. This guy doesn't have a clue about anything. I told him when he grows up, he can talk to me about parenting. I told him I am not even going to waste my typing on him, to explain how much I love my children.

 

[Eve]

I told him when he grows up, he can talk to me about parenting.

I wouldn't hold my breath, waiting for THAT to happen any time soon.

 

[loml]

Originally Posted by 2kids1hoh

I told him when he grows up, he can talk to me about parenting

.

Eve

I wouldn't hold my breath, waiting for THAT to happen any time soon

Perhaps this will be a case of "Peter Pan Syndrome".

 

[neecy]

I had a nice little conversation with him in PM about how I don't love my daughter and CI's aren't the only way to show a child you love them. This guy doesn't have a clue about anything. I told him when he grows up, he can talk to me about parenting. I told him I am not even going to waste my typing on him, to explain how much I love my children.

Isn't it amazing how some people can be so closed minded that they think that THEIR way is the only way, to the point of telling other parents what they should/shouldn't do with their own children? Fortunately there are enough people here who are open minded and encourage parents to explore ALL alternatives available before making their decisions, and ultimately it is the PARENT'S RIGHT to make that decision. Nobody should question/dictate the choice a parent makes for their own child. Thankfully, we don't live in a police state where people are TOLD how to raise their children. I hope we never do!

 

[deafdyke]

2kids1hoh, ignore him. You are not one of those parents who absolutly postitively has to have the latest hearing technology for your kid. Getting a CI for your kid doesn't automaticly mean you're not accepting your child.....deaflinxgeek, there are a percentage of kids who get little to no benifit from hearing aids! 2kids1hoh, is the parent of one of those kids!

 

[Victorias mom]

I agree with you!! He said to me that I am so defensive and it makes me look suspicious (spelt wrong I think). I said when someone looks down on you it tends to make people defensive. How would he like it if I questioned his love for his girlfriend? I bet he wouldn't like it. But... I wouldn't do that, because I don't know him and what right do I have to question HIS love. Too bad he doesn't feel the same way.

Thanks

Isn't it amazing how some people can be so closed minded that they think that THEIR way is the only way, to the point of telling other parents what they should/shouldn't do with their own children? Fortunately there are enough people here who are open minded and encourage parents to explore ALL alternatives available before making their decisions, and ultimately it is the PARENT'S RIGHT to make that decision. Nobody should question/dictate the choice a parent makes for their own child. Thankfully, we don't live in a police state where people are TOLD how to raise their children. I hope we never do!

 

[Victorias mom]

Thanks for sticking up for me!

2kids1hoh, ignore him. You are not one of those parents who absolutly postitively has to have the latest hearing technology for your kid. Getting a CI for your kid doesn't automaticly mean you're not accepting your child.....deaflinxgeek, there are a percentage of kids who get little to no benifit from hearing aids! 2kids1hoh, is the parent of one of those kids!

 

[R2D2]

I had a nice little conversation with him in PM about how I don't love my daughter and CI's aren't the only way to show a child you love them. This guy doesn't have a clue about anything. I told him when he grows up, he can talk to me about parenting. I told him I am not even going to waste my typing on him, to explain how much I love my children.

You know what? As a parent you'll never please everyone. What is one man's child abuse is another man's perfect child rearing. I've seen it all before with other parenting debates - breast vs bottle, cry it out vs co-sleeping, circumcision vs intact, public school vs homeschooling etc etc. All the extremists on those debates all cry "child abuse!" and claim that the parents don't really love their children. These are arguments that appeal to emotion. Deja Vu!

Personally I think you are doing a great job. Your child needs you to be confident in your choices. Don't listen to teenagers, who aren't parents, who aren't deaf and who haven't really lived the range of life experiences yet.

 

[Cloggy]

Don't listen to teenagers, who aren't parents, who aren't deaf and who haven't really lived the range of life experiences yet.

...and who don't like hearing.

 

[Victorias mom]

Thank you. It's nice to hear people say you are doing a good job, especially since this is all so new to me. I definetly will not listen to people like that.... I'm 33, I've been around a lot longer than him. I can fairly say I know more about life than a teenager.

You are right, there will always be battles over parenting issues, the best thing is to not get involved with those debates, unless of course you like to fight. I don't, especially when I know nothing about the subject.

You know what? As a parent you'll never please everyone. What is one man's child abuse is another man's perfect child rearing. I've seen it all before with other parenting debates - breast vs bottle, cry it out vs co-sleeping, circumcision vs intact, public school vs homeschooling etc etc. All the extremists on those debates all cry "child abuse!" and claim that the parents don't really love their children. These are arguments that appeal to emotion. Deja Vu!

Personally I think you are doing a great job. Your child needs you to be confident in your choices. Don't listen to teenagers, who aren't parents, who aren't deaf and who haven't really lived the range of life experiences yet.

 

[deafdyke]

You are right, there will always be battles over parenting issues, the best thing is to not get involved with those debates,

Or if you're a parent, be moderate in your practices of those issues.
Like, me I'm hardcore about breastfeeding,(mom's a lactation consultant) but I'm not going to rag on anyone for supplementing with formula.
Hey, I am even OK with a parent starting out with speech, with their dhh kid as long as their child also gets introduced to ASL and Deaf culture at a relatively young age.

 

[Fragmenter]

deafdyke, you have great intentions and you have great guidance. I appreciate your input very much, too!