My deaf accent is killing my dating

JClarke said:
What about VRS?
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I never thought about it. I figured if I can hear the girl on the phone (volume cranked full blast) I could get by. I didnt think my deaf accent is that bad but the phone seems to make it worse.
 
thanx for all the replies everyone! Seriously, I was in a dark place. After drinking a couple of beers and talking to you guys, I feel so much better and positive. I feel like there are things I can try, it makes me hopefull.
 
Doug, I gotta say that I think the deaf accent is THE reason why we can never have totaly and complete equatily with hearing people....oral skills are wonderful and all, but b/c people are prejudicated as fuck. ......
And you know what? I think a lot of the girls who are turned off by your deaf accent, are prolly the types who wear pink red sox hats as a fashion statement.
Do you have any Deaf clubs or social organizations where you live?
 
I agree with you deafdyke. The deaf accent is a something we are judged by. They did a study about hearing aids. They called the results "the hearing aid effect". The study showed hearing people pictures of different people and told them to rate them in attractiveness, intelligence, leadership, etc. Some models wore ha some not, but they were the same models, and across the board when they wore ha their ratings were less. You probably read it too.

I am not against dating a deaf girl but they seem to prefer hearing guys because they think they can be more sucessfull. I would prefer a deaf girl just for having something in common and knowing they get me. I havent looked into deaf clubs or organizations. I dont know how to sign and thought I would be out of place. What do they have in the Phoenix area?
 
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Doug5 said:
Ive been replying to ads on the internet. Some are interested, we exchange pics and email back and forth, but when its time to talk on the phone thats when it ends. The girl will be like, I am really busy but I will "definitly" call you back. Im no chump when I hear them emphasize "definitly" calling me back that means get lost. They never call or email me ever again. :roll:

Just letting deaf chicks know some of the difficulties deaf guys have when it comes to dating.

Looks like I gotta take some more speech classes.
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Those women are NOT worth your time. Seriously. I'm dating a deaf man and I do not mind his deaf voice. He doesn't voice much but then again I am learning ASL. Sometimes you find people when you're not looking for them, sounds cliché but it's so true. Best of luck Doug :)
 
I had one guy say my HOH accent was sexy! And some people thought I had a Spanish accent!
If the women say they will call back later and never do , you're better off with out the snobs! Anyone that judge a person by their speech without meeting you is not worth your time of day! Do not let these jerks get to you!
 
Doug5 said:
women tend to be skittish. The phone is their big test before meeting face to face.

I tried telling a girl I was deaf and dont like talking on the phone and she was said forget it.

Women are very picky on the internet. They get a zillion responses for their one ad. They find something they dont like to trim down the heard. What gets me through the first cuts is I am tall and have a full head of hair. A short guy probably has a harder time than me.
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I had that happen to once . I was at a friend party anda guy was coming on to me ,I could not hear him , he ask my friend what wrong with me ! When he found out I was HOH , he lost interest in me! The guy thought I was really pretty but he was not man enough to date a HOH woman!
You have to find a woman that does not care what other people think!
 
Carly2k5 said:
Those women are NOT worth your time. Seriously. I'm dating a deaf man and I do not mind his deaf voice. He doesn't voice much but then again I am learning ASL. Sometimes you find people when you're not looking for them, sounds cliché but it's so true. Best of luck Doug :)
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I was hoping most girls would find my deaf accent to be a cute little quirk. I didnt think it would be a big deal.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I had one guy say my HOH accent was sexy! And some people thought I had a Spanish accent!
If the women say they will call back later and never do , you're better off with out the snobs! Anyone that judge a person by their speech without meeting you is not worth your time of day! Do not let these jerks get to you!
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It is different with women. They are much more self concious. Theyre worried about what their girlfriends will think. Guys are much more simplistic. Their attitude is "I would rather be bangin this broad than talking to my dumbass friends" They dont give a fuck what their friends think. I dont mean to be crude but it is true.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I had that happen to once . I was at a friend party anda guy was coming on to me ,I could not hear him , he ask my friend what wrong with me ! When he found out I was HOH , he lost interest in me! The guy thought I was really pretty but he was not man enough to date a HOH woman!
You have to find a woman that does not care what other people think!
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his lost
 
I know how you feel. been there done that. I have a deaf accent/speech problem. That is why I hate to talk but the best thing is to move on.
 
Hey, don't blame yourself. It's their loss... not yours.

That's one of the biggest problems with online dating. The book is often judged based on the cover, not what's inside.
 
I never did like online dating, period. The whole idea of judging someone by their pictures... if I wanted do that, I would go to a bar! I usually end up getting a few phone numbers before opening my mouth anyway when I am out and about, so why would I even bother doing online dating? All the ones I have dated from online, it was because they liked the way I wrote long before they saw my pictures. Albeit, they were through forums when they would be all "can I get your MSN?"

Just be yourself and keep searching. There are a lot of people that don't matches each others, and you will find one that matches you. It just a matter of finding one whose core values align with each others. I am not saying have the same values, since I tend to get along better with girls that are the exact opposite. :laugh2:

If they really like you, the deaf accent won't make a big difference. It's a kick in the pants when it come to employment though. :roll:
 
I know man its rough when looking for a job.

I was just really pissed cuz I got blown off on the phone 3times in a row. I was like wtf. All I wanted was a chance to meet face to face. I wasnt expecting to find my soul mate or anything. Its nice to date once in awhile.

Anyways, I havent given up. I chatted with a girl tonight and told her about my deafness and she said she knows some signs. She wasnt scared off or anything. So I will have to see how it goes.
 
I feel - don't focus on how I talk, or whatever - see me with your heart. The person who takes the time to really know you is the person who really sees -
 
If they run off because of your deafness or deaf voice. Then they are not worth your time. As frustrating as it is for you. Weed out the bad ones until, you find someone that is interested for who you are. It will truly pay off when you do find Mrs. Right to date.
 
lol, you mean miss right, dont encourage him to commit adultery with a married woman lmao, sorry couldnt help it

but on the other hand, married woman are more fun as long as you dont get caught!
*ducks*
 
geez i think this is sad, but i guess you (doug) could mention in an email prior to that phone call, to warn i have a funny accent (or choose a better word than funny) please understand I have a slight speech impairment as it does not reveal my true intelligence or 'persona' or maybe insist to met over a coffee in face to face in town, in a neutral place, but kind of try explain why this is prefered or perhaps you could say, if you wish to feel safer bring along your freind as i will bring mine so its a 'small group' effect to help chaperoning? it just ideas....
 
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