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- Jan 5, 2005
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Here's another perspective
My father spent 20 years in the Army and we stayed in TX most of the time. It seemed like he spent ten years working at the base hospital in San Antonio. Just before he retired, we were able to go to Germany as a family and lived there for three years.
The downside was the constant moving. I was in fifth grade before I spent more than one year at a school. It was almost impossible to make and keep friends. I remmy getting into a huge fight during fourth grade because of all the stuff that I kept inside.
When I was in the Navy, I heard about several marriages falling apart. Sailors could be gone for 4-6 months at a time, and Mom had to be both parents while he was gone. There was no Internet, cell phones, or video tapes back and forth to keep up with the family. One time my boat was out for a month without any mail from home. Talk about stress! If it's tough for the guys at sea, I couldn't imagine what it was like for the wives who had kids to take care of. This was during peacetime, so extended deployments and cruises were rare. Only aircraft carriers were gone for months on end.
Another factor to consider and talk about is money. This includes setting up a power of attorney and the fact that military types don't make big bucks. My father worked 80-90 hours a week for as long as I could remember to support a family of six. He'd work his shift at the hospital, come home, take a shower, eat, and then put in another ten hours as a handyman. It took a physical toll on him, but the entire family paid a price. It's as if I grew up without a father. I was grown and on my own before I was comfortable talking to him instead of being scared sh**less. It took grandkids and great-grandkids for him to see the joy of raising a family and not just the expenses and responsibility.
If James and Amanda want to stay together, it's going to take a lot of work AND trust. I wish them well and hope that he's comes back safe and sound - physically and mentally.
My father spent 20 years in the Army and we stayed in TX most of the time. It seemed like he spent ten years working at the base hospital in San Antonio. Just before he retired, we were able to go to Germany as a family and lived there for three years.
The downside was the constant moving. I was in fifth grade before I spent more than one year at a school. It was almost impossible to make and keep friends. I remmy getting into a huge fight during fourth grade because of all the stuff that I kept inside.
When I was in the Navy, I heard about several marriages falling apart. Sailors could be gone for 4-6 months at a time, and Mom had to be both parents while he was gone. There was no Internet, cell phones, or video tapes back and forth to keep up with the family. One time my boat was out for a month without any mail from home. Talk about stress! If it's tough for the guys at sea, I couldn't imagine what it was like for the wives who had kids to take care of. This was during peacetime, so extended deployments and cruises were rare. Only aircraft carriers were gone for months on end.
Another factor to consider and talk about is money. This includes setting up a power of attorney and the fact that military types don't make big bucks. My father worked 80-90 hours a week for as long as I could remember to support a family of six. He'd work his shift at the hospital, come home, take a shower, eat, and then put in another ten hours as a handyman. It took a physical toll on him, but the entire family paid a price. It's as if I grew up without a father. I was grown and on my own before I was comfortable talking to him instead of being scared sh**less. It took grandkids and great-grandkids for him to see the joy of raising a family and not just the expenses and responsibility.
If James and Amanda want to stay together, it's going to take a lot of work AND trust. I wish them well and hope that he's comes back safe and sound - physically and mentally.
I didn't know that you lived in Stuttgart, Germany for 5 years. Stuttgart is not far from area where I live. It's shame that we didn't meet before you leave for USA. I would of meet you if you register here at years ago...