Men VS. Women in marriage and unmarriage parnter

Cowpuppy said:
Not sure you were talking about ....money or just writing out the bills and delivery.
Writing and paying....both shoud understand bills and when due how much. That way both can be more on the same page. It keeps us on track. Understanding where money going. Cause less fights about it. It can vary.....sometimes who has more time. Not really a gender issue I think. Clear up before marraige maybe.....lol. It's a red flag.
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You're right. People who are planning to get married should sit down and discuss everything before the marriage takes place. It is not a bad idea to see a counselor that deals with money management to give you suggestions, etc. on ways you can handle finances.
 
Pinky678 said:
Ummm What do you think about 3 bank accounts?? it for myself, My fiance's and our both bank account together?? Is that good idea?? Umm We will go to bank next 2 weeks to change my last name. Because I will get marry next month. I am on SSDAC. I have no experience with 3 accounts. I prefer my own bank account. My fiance's own. How about our bank account to pay on bills and saving for a new house?? What do you think? Please answer me. Thank you! :)
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You could do that, I had two accounts, one in my name, and one joint account with both of our names. My ex had two accounts also, one in his name and one in our names. ;)
 
racheleggert said:
For me, I'd rather to have my own bank account no matter whatever even if I get married one day. I do have boyfriend and I only pay my own bills, and he pay own bills since we use different banks. Joint account is never good idea. Seperate account is better because you know what you spent, budget easily, etc.. I would say no thanks to joint account, no thanks..
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I agree with u. My friend was shocked to discover that my hubby and I dont have a joint bank account. She doesnt believe in that..she believes that once u are married, you share everything with your spouse, including bank accounts. She feels that it is a sign of distrust of each other by having separate bank accounts. I told her if she believes strongly about that then why complain about how her husband gets mad at her for spending money on some things and vice versa. LOL!

People believe in that which is fine by me but doesnt mean I have to abide by their rules.
 
shel90 said:
I agree with u. My friend was shocked to discover that my hubby and I dont have a joint bank account. She doesnt believe in that..she believes that once u are married, you share everything with your spouse, including bank accounts. She feels that it is a sign of distrust of each other by having separate bank accounts. I told her if she believes strongly about that then why complain about how her husband gets mad at her for spending money on some things and vice versa. LOL!

People believe in that which is fine by me but doesnt mean I have to abide by their rules.
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Hey Shel90 same here my freind was shock we don't share the bank account she say to me that my hubby and I don't trust each other it not ture we just wants our own account it just easyer for us to pay bills.
 
RosesNY said:
Hey Shel90 same here my freind was shock we don't share the bank account she say to me that my hubby and I don't trust each other it not ture we just wants our own account it just easyer for us to pay bills.
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It doesn't mean you two don't trust each others, It's your right to have your own separate account as you wish. ;)
 
Pinky678 said:
Ummm What do you think about 3 bank accounts?? it for myself, My fiance's and our both bank account together?? Is that good idea?? Umm We will go to bank next 2 weeks to change my last name. Because I will get marry next month. I am on SSDAC. I have no experience with 3 accounts. I prefer my own bank account. My fiance's own. How about our bank account to pay on bills and saving for a new house?? What do you think? Please answer me. Thank you! :)
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If you aren't married, you shouldn't be paying his bills, and he shouldn't be paying your bills.

You can't change your last name until after you're married. Then you use your marriage certificate to prove it for Social Security, bank, ID card, etc.

The two of you need to sit down and discuss this together before you're married. Neither one of you should be making unilateral decisions about the other person's finances. Financial disagreements is the number one cause of divorces in America. You need to know each other's financial goals and priorities. You need to know who is the better money manager, and who is willing to keep up with paying the bills. The two of you should work out a budget together.

It doesn't really matter what our opinions and suggestions are if your future husband doesn't agree and accept them.
 
Reba said:
If you aren't married, you shouldn't be paying his bills, and he shouldn't be paying your bills.

You can't change your last name until after you're married. Then you use your marriage certificate to prove it for Social Security, bank, ID card, etc.

The two of you need to sit down and discuss this together before you're married. Neither one of you should be making unilateral decisions about the other person's finances. Financial disagreements is the number one cause of divorces in America. You need to know each other's financial goals and priorities. You need to know who is the better money manager, and who is willing to keep up with paying the bills. The two of you should work out a budget together.

It doesn't really matter what our opinions and suggestions are if your future husband doesn't agree and accept them.
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:gpost:

I agree with you that u cant change your last name TILL after you are married so can show the marriage certificate to prove that you are indeed married. it takes lot to talk about what to pay and what not to.. agree on stuffs. Big decisions... whew!
 
I would rather have my own bank account seperatly because it is much easier to get track of. I don't want to accidently spend my gf/wife's money on the joint bank account.

Of course, I will discuss on what I'm gonna spend on like she will discuss with me.
 
That's true. But I do have a marriage certificate ready with me. I don't fill out the form until I see my officiant pastor will sign up the names and wedding date. That what Courthouse told us. Me and my fiance already go to courthouse and paid for marriage license. It cost us 20 dollar. It's not bad. We showed a birth certificate and ID proved. We wrote it down on form. It's not hard. I like the courthouse inside. It's so beautiful mosaics and design. It's very strict the rules! It's not allow carrying a camera, cellphones, Ipod in the builds.

No I don't pay my fiance's bills. He is paying his own car payment and insurance. But I am under his name on T Mobile for our Blackberry. We do agree to pay together on each bills for electric, directv, verizon plus high speed DSL, apt rent. We aren't ready for buy a new house. We want to wait. Because of economic is slow down. Also we bought our food too.

I will change my new last name on ID after marry. I know Wedding plan is no FUN!

Reba said:
If you aren't married, you shouldn't be paying his bills, and he shouldn't be paying your bills.

You can't change your last name until after you're married. Then you use your marriage certificate to prove it for Social Security, bank, ID card, etc.

The two of you need to sit down and discuss this together before you're married. Neither one of you should be making unilateral decisions about the other person's finances. Financial disagreements is the number one cause of divorces in America. You need to know each other's financial goals and priorities. You need to know who is the better money manager, and who is willing to keep up with paying the bills. The two of you should work out a budget together.

It doesn't really matter what our opinions and suggestions are if your future husband doesn't agree and accept them.
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I manage all bills but I use my husband's income to pay. I pay my money to my rent. I use my husband's money for foods, gas, others.
 
When two people get married , they SHOULD share everything and that includes money... If two people are not willing to share, and to communicate, then don't get married... My ex wife was terrible with money and bouncing checks.. My second wife is great!!! We discuss the bills and make decisions together... Like a married couple should.. " the love of money is the root of all evil.. " money destroys more marriages than ANYTHING else and it is sad...
 
PowerON said:
you're correct. And i shall be your personal account. :D

and even nosey on what you spend on these. oh my my! you brought new car?!? This car waste more gas! blah blah blah nag nag nag
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And that's a good reason for not re-marrying! :giggle:
 
I prefer joint account. Makes it lot easier. It's all about teamwork. One can do half of other chores, other can do other half. So if one of them is good with money, then he/she should deal with bills. My dad makes money but he's bad with paying bills. My mom handles it all. If my future wife wants separate account, fine by me. I don't see any problem with that as long as the bills are being paid.

SouthFella said:
the love of money is the root of all evil.. " money destroys more marriages than ANYTHING else and it is sad...
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That's why I want to sign pre-nup
 
SouthFella said:
When two people get married , they SHOULD share everything and that includes money... If two people are not willing to share, and to communicate, then don't get married... My ex wife was terrible with money and bouncing checks.. My second wife is great!!! We discuss the bills and make decisions together... Like a married couple should.. " the love of money is the root of all evil.. " money destroys more marriages than ANYTHING else and it is sad...
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did joint account in my first marriage and caused more headaches. Now, I am not doing that in my 2nd marriage and boy, the peace of mind is so GREAT!

Everyone is different..but nobody should have to get a joint account because others say so. It is nobody else's business to tell what other people SHOULD do in their marriage.
 
shel90 said:
did joint account in my first marriage and caused more headaches. Now, I am not doing that in my 2nd marriage and boy, the peace of mind is so GREAT!

Everyone is different..but nobody should have to get a joint account because others say so. It is nobody else's business to tell what other people SHOULD do in their marriage.
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i agree with your post that no one should tell you what to do in your marriage. it is your choice so be it. others should respected you in that area.

if they dont like it then they can go to hell! :giggle:
 
Good to have separate accounts. Speaking from experience, too. Whatever y'all can handle.

Read Suze Orman's books for financial advice - Money Book for the young, fab and broke. Women and Money. suzeorman.com
 
I agree with Shel and a few others in this thread about not having a joint account. Too much hassle. I had a joint bank account with a guy to pay for the boat we had together---but even that wasn't too smooth becuase he liked to spend, spend, spend.

There's a lot of trust in having separate accounts and communicating what needs to be paid, and whose money is paid out, etc. It's really easy when the rent, anything with interest, ultities get paid boom, boom when one partner paid the rent in full, the other partner covers the rest of the bills up to a point, then find the money whoever has the money to pay.... Less stress when the major bills get paid fast, early in the month. Even the kids have their accounts where I try to save money for them.....

Bottom line, whatever works the best; to each his and her own....
 
I'm married now. :D I already got a Marriage Certificated proven. I changed my last name through Social Security Card, New Identification, New Debit/Atm Card with my new last name. I haven't change my last name through personal check yet. Because I have plenty of check No. left. I will get a new personal check next month. We have 3 accounts now. One for my bank, one for my husband's, one for both us. I don't like to joint his account all together. I rather 3 accounts. I love my new last name! :)
 
SouthFella said:
We discuss the bills and make decisions together...
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True, my hubby & I join same bank account together. Our wage slips and children support benefit go to our bank account. The bank transfer the bills, insurances, house mortages, saving, pocket money to my boys´ bank accounts, etc for us with no complication. We only go to bank to get money for foods, drinks, outing, etc, that´s it. We discuss together what we need something before order or buy...
 
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