Marriage... Divorce or Death?

Look at highlands' signature... :)
 
D-neen said:
Well for those who are thinking or wanting to getting divorce with your spouse... the best thing go to the marriage counsler or Christian Counsler. Most important is pray and seek God's guide. My husband who is hearing and I am deaf..we have been married for 28 years and we still holding on no matters what we have been facing through. We know the devil wanted so much to win over the people. God always want to blessing you and your life to be joyful in Him in everything in your marriage. It's hurts the children more than the parents. That's high rate of children hurtful more than the parents feels . So think and sit back and pray and ask God for His help and He will sustain you before you will find in awes in you. God loves you so much .. He doesn't want you to feels hurts by through divorces . You are always loved by HIM..You are loved.. that's you .:)
Click to expand...

FYI we have went to marriage counselor 3 times and my husband was wrong but did he listen? no he wont. I have prayed to God and ask him for his guidance and help to fix the marriage but it didnt help any even with counselor.

he told me I cant talk to my son's father at all? BUT i have right to talk to my son and his father. Also my mother? The father have custody of my son. How you feel if you don't know if your kid is ok or not? I love my son and i want to make sure my son is ok. over and over again he told me I cant talk to my son's father or my son. He cant tell me what to do no matter what cuz my son's father and I have to deal with our son till our son turned 18. My husband is wrong, period. he have to understand that I am a mother.

Guess what he did? he cut phone off without discussing with me. He didnt care. My mother is sick too and i have to take her to doctor appointments, and get her medicines etc. he cut the ties off to my son and my mother. Oh that made me so MAD! he doesnt care. I have tried to make him reason with this. Did he listen ? No. he said I still MUST draw a line. I cant not from my son. I have right to talk to my son anytime i want to. so whatever to him! The counselor have told him that he is wrong and he need to apologize to me. Did he apologize to me? No he didnt. He wont acknowledge what he did in first place. He still think he is right and I am wrong. jeez sigh.

till he have a kid then he will understand why I am like that .. being concern for my son and want the best for TJ. I just cant stay where controlling are and not being loved etc. I cant stay in a controlled and loveless marriage, forget it.

It wont work. so its over for good.
 
VamPyroX said:
50% is based on statistics... not personal experience.

If you say that you won't get divorced, then you are part of the 50% that won't get divorced.

Remember, the 50% is based on the United States population... not just you. :)
Click to expand...
What about these statistics?

"The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 -- the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in 2000 and from 4.7 in 1990. (The peak was at 5.3 in 1981, according to the Associated Press.)"
Divorce Statistics, Marriage Statistics: Divorce Rates in America, Marriage
 
that's strange ,freaky . The happenings you mentioned should not have taken place . A relationship begins and lives with trust. Love, trust, talking are keys
 
highlands said:
that's strange ,freaky . The happenings you mentioned should not have taken place . A relationship begins and lives with trust. Love, trust, talking are keys
Click to expand...

I know thats why i cant stay in trustless, no love, and not talking marriage with someone who is always cold to me ? so it wont work.

I like it if someone is flexible with me but yet trust me and love me FOR who I am. my husband said he love me for who i am.. but after we got married.. he said he doesnt like the way i look and complained lot? is that love? it is not. so forget it.... it does hurt. :(

its funny.. he said he is a christian.. but really he is a blind christian.

being a christian mean you have to accept, trust, respect, love, forgive, ask, listen, encourage, give, comfort and laugh... we have Zip of that in our marriage. :dunno2:
 
I am sorry to see that your man didn't try to understand that you are not his carbon copy.. anyways, you have a son to enjoy your life with
 
highlands said:
I am sorry to see that your man didn't try to understand that you are not his carbon copy.. anyways, you have a son to enjoy your life with
Click to expand...


Don't be sorry. You didnt do nothing wrong. :giggle: hehe..

yep at least I see TJ every week and summer is coming. I will have him full time. I cant wait! :)
 
Reba said:
What about these statistics?

"The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 -- the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in 2000 and from 4.7 in 1990. (The peak was at 5.3 in 1981, according to the Associated Press.)"
Divorce Statistics, Marriage Statistics: Divorce Rates in America, Marriage
Click to expand...
Don't forget... the facts you pointed out is by year, not by overall.

Let's look at 10 couples. All got married between 1999 and 2001. 1 couple got divorced in 2002, another in 2003, another in 2005, another in 2006, and another in 2008. If you were to look at it by year... that's less than 10%. Overall, it's still 50%.

Read further down... you'll find the overall rate.

"As of 2003, 43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced."
 
VamPyroX said:
Don't forget... the facts you pointed out is by year, not by overall.

Let's look at 10 couples. All got married between 1999 and 2001. 1 couple got divorced in 2002, another in 2003, another in 2005, another in 2006, and another in 2008. If you were to look at it by year... that's less than 10%. Overall, it's still 50%.
Click to expand...
Using that formula, within 10 years they would all (100%) be divorced. That does not compute.

Read further down... you'll find the overall rate.
Click to expand...
See, that's misleading. Not 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. It does not mean that if 100 couples marry today that 50 of those couples will divorce before one of the spouses dies.

"As of 2003, 43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced."
Click to expand...
That's a percentage of "custodial" mothers and fathers; if they are still married and not legally separated, then they aren't "custodial" mothers and fathers but they are "parents". The rest of the percentage of custodial mothers and fathers were never married in the first place.
 
That's true! I don't believe in divorced. It can hurt their children. My parent never get divorced.

VamPyroX said:
50% is based on statistics... not personal experience.

If you say that you won't get divorced, then you are part of the 50% that won't get divorced.

Remember, the 50% is based on the United States population... not just you. :)
Click to expand...
 
Pinky678 said:
That's true! I don't believe in divorced. It can hurt their children. My parent never get divorced.
Click to expand...

My parents got divorced when I was 10 and it was a blessing for all of us cuz my mom and dad just werent happy with each other at all and it impacted all of us. Our family didnt do much together and after the divorce, I had more quality time with both parents, as odd as it sounds. The divorce ended up to be a blessing for all of us cuz my dad married his 2nd wife and they are so happy together. Also, I cant imagine life without my stepmother..she is so awesome!

Sometimes, divorce doesnt hurt the children after all. It depends on how the parents handle it.
 
I understand. I am sorry about your parent got divorced long times ago. My mom got married 3 times. Her first married with my half brother's father. He had an alcohol abuse. He abused on my mom when she was young adult. She left him with her toddler son. When my half brother was a teen. He became rebellion and not obey my mom's rules. He isn't honor his mother. It hurt her feeling. He didn't accept who was my dad married to my mom. When my dad passed away when I was 15. My mom got widowed. She got married with elder man. My step dad and I used to not get along. I didn't accept about his married to my mom. I was rebel at my mom when I was 18. I was still grief about lost my dad. It's hard for me.

My fiance's parent got divorced and remarried then final divorced. His sister became a rebellion when she was teenager. She never forgive to her mom for divorced with her dad. She is very rebellion! She is still same and nothing change. That's sad! She got preg at age 18 with her boyfriend with unmarried. She gave her a born was a girl. 1 years later. They got married. They are bad parent to their 2 kids. It's very long story! Now, They got divorced before I met my fiance.

That what my fiance learned from his parents got divorce and remarried. He don't want to be same as his parent. He wish He would find a perfect relationship and marriage. Now, We are together for 4 years half. We aren't believe in divorced because it's not faith to god.

shel90 said:
My parents got divorced when I was 10 and it was a blessing for all of us cuz my mom and dad just werent happy with each other at all and it impacted all of us. Our family didnt do much together and after the divorce, I had more quality time with both parents, as odd as it sounds. The divorce ended up to be a blessing for all of us cuz my dad married his 2nd wife and they are so happy together. Also, I cant imagine life without my stepmother..she is so awesome!

Sometimes, divorce doesnt hurt the children after all. It depends on how the parents handle it.
Click to expand...
 
Pinky678 said:
I understand. I am sorry about your parent got divorced long times ago. My mom got married 3 times. Her first married with my half brother's father. He had an alcohol abuse. He abused on my mom when she was young adult. She left him with her toddler son. When my half brother was a teen. He became rebellion and not obey my mom's rules. He isn't honor his mother. It hurt her feeling. He didn't accept who was my dad married to my mom. When my dad passed away when I was 15. My mom got widowed. She got married with elder man. My step dad and I used to not get along. I didn't accept about his married to my mom. I was rebel at my mom when I was 18. I was still grief about lost my dad. It's hard for me.

My fiance's parent got divorced and remarried. His sister became a rebellion when she was teenager. She never forgive to her mom for divorced with her dad. She is very rebellion! She is still same and nothing change. That's sad! She got preg at age 18 with her boyfriend with unmarried. She gave her a born was a girl. 1 years later. They got married. They are bad parent to their 2 kids. It's very long story! Now, They got divorced before I met my fiance.

That what my fiance learned from his parents got divorce and remarried. He don't want to be same as his parent. He wish He would find a perfect relationship and marriage. Now, We are together for 4 years half. We aren't believe in divorced because it's not faith to god.
Click to expand...


No, dont be sorry. I cant imagine my parents being married..they are just tooo different and dont have the same interests. They have nothing in common except for us, kids. LOL!

I am sorry that this happened to you. My brother and I never really went thru a serious rebellous stage because of the divorce. We just moved on.

I guess my belief is I would rather live my life happy than being miserable stuck in an unhappy marriage. Life is too short.
 
Pinky678 said:
I understand. I am sorry about your parent got divorced long times ago. My mom got married 3 times. Her first married with my half brother's father. He had an alcohol abuse. He abused on my mom when she was young adult. She left him with her toddler son. When my half brother was a teen. He became rebellion and not obey my mom's rules. He isn't honor his mother. It hurt her feeling. He didn't accept who was my dad married to my mom. When my dad passed away when I was 15. My mom got widowed. She got married with elder man. My step dad and I used to not get along. I didn't accept about his married to my mom. I was rebel at my mom when I was 18. I was still grief about lost my dad. It's hard for me.

My fiance's parent got divorced and remarried then final divorced. His sister became a rebellion when she was teenager. She never forgive to her mom for divorced with her dad. She is very rebellion! She is still same and nothing change. That's sad! She got preg at age 18 with her boyfriend with unmarried. She gave her a born was a girl. 1 years later. They got married. They are bad parent to their 2 kids. It's very long story! Now, They got divorced before I met my fiance.

That what my fiance learned from his parents got divorce and remarried. He don't want to be same as his parent. He wish He would find a perfect relationship and marriage. Now, We are together for 4 years half. We aren't believe in divorced because it's not faith to god.
Click to expand...

i know its hard for you and your families that not easy!
 
My mom and dad got divorced when I was 8 years old. I realized it was best for them because my dad was so bad man. My stepdad is so awesome. I was divorced also but no kids. My ex husband was cheating on me. I didn't want stay with him if he keep cheat on me.
 
My fiance said, "Just accept about your mom married with your stepdad. That's her life. Same thing with my mom is married to my stepdad. I didn't like it either but it's her life." I was alike that's true and agree with him. I accepted that my mom married my stepdad. My fiance didn't want see I am depress and dwell about my dad. It can't change it. He wanted me to cheer up and be happy with him. I am still hurt because my half brother and my mom are not get along. He never send a card for my mom's birthday and mother's day. He is not honoring her. It's my half brother and my mom between situation since they raised up. My mom and I are getting along together. But she do drove me :crazy: sometime. LoL
 
Freaky Cat said:
FYI we have went to marriage counselor 3 times and my husband was wrong but did he listen? no he wont. I have prayed to God and ask him for his guidance and help to fix the marriage but it didnt help any even with counselor.

he told me I cant talk to my son's father at all? BUT i have right to talk to my son and his father. Also my mother? The father have custody of my son. How you feel if you don't know if your kid is ok or not? I love my son and i want to make sure my son is ok. over and over again he told me I cant talk to my son's father or my son. He cant tell me what to do no matter what cuz my son's father and I have to deal with our son till our son turned 18. My husband is wrong, period. he have to understand that I am a mother.

Guess what he did? he cut phone off without discussing with me. He didnt care. My mother is sick too and i have to take her to doctor appointments, and get her medicines etc. he cut the ties off to my son and my mother. Oh that made me so MAD! he doesnt care. I have tried to make him reason with this. Did he listen ? No. he said I still MUST draw a line. I cant not from my son. I have right to talk to my son anytime i want to. so whatever to him! The counselor have told him that he is wrong and he need to apologize to me. Did he apologize to me? No he didnt. He wont acknowledge what he did in first place. He still think he is right and I am wrong. jeez sigh.

till he have a kid then he will understand why I am like that .. being concern for my son and want the best for TJ. I just cant stay where controlling are and not being loved etc. I cant stay in a controlled and loveless marriage, forget it.

It wont work. so its over for good.
Click to expand...
All you can do is give it all to God's hands. God knows your heart. If your husband didn't want to do anything you can know he didn't care. I can understands why and sees your situations. Please knowing that your children do hurts more than the parents does. You know sometimes a child won't talk or admit it how she or he feels. But pray for them and keep loving them . Let them know they are loved. Pray and seek God for his guides what to do. If your husband want a divorce.. let him go. All you have to do is be strong and keep it going and God will take care of you and your children through. When all else fails.. please remember God never fails. :)
 
Well. I guess you're lucky to have a wonder stepdad. But my mom and my half brother are not along together. She left his dad due to drink alcohol abuse. He abused on her when her son was 2 years old. She took her son away from her ex husband and filled out for divorced. My half brother's dad is bad man! But He is still not forgive my mom at all. I wish for he to get along with her. It take his time. He is 11 years old than me.

lilylover72 said:
My mom and dad got divorced when I was 8 years old. I realized it was best for them because my dad was so bad man. My stepdad is so awesome. I was divorced also but no kids. My ex husband was cheating on me. I didn't want stay with him if he keep cheat on me.
Click to expand...
 
D-neen said:
All you can do is give it all to God's hands. God knows your heart. If your husband didn't want to do anything you can know he didn't care. I can understands why and sees your situations. Please knowing that your children do hurts more than the parents does. You know sometimes a child won't talk or admit it how she or he feels. But pray for them and keep loving them . Let them know they are loved. Pray and seek God for his guides what to do. If your husband want a divorce.. let him go. All you have to do is be strong and keep it going and God will take care of you and your children through. When all else fails.. please remember God never fails. :)
Click to expand...

My son was hurt by all of what had happened. He doesnt like his stepdad and think he is wrong to not let his momma talk to him? we have talked about this many times last year. he is kinda glad that i am not with his stepdad. I am glad too because I dont want to be in a controlled marriage. I am free now to make my choices and whatever I want to do.. anytime i want to.. and that is a big relief, really. :)
 
Back
Top