Lying in a relationship/friendship?

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KStiletto

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Is it ever okay? I'm including those questions that I keep hearing women supposedly ask men "Does this make me look fat?" Do women really ask that? My op is if you have to ask, you know the answer. :giggle:

Or what about telling a friend the truth about her newly decorated apartment that she thinks looks great, but you're secretly throwing up in your mouth. These are mere examples. Btw, white lies are still lies.

Your thoughts.
 
Relationships:
In the beginning, when it's about courting and dating, don't think there's ever been an instance where lying comes out OK/good if you intend to be with them long term in a healthy relationship. Some things just come back to haunt and bite folks.

During the actual relationship, it's more about trusting than it is about lying. If you gain mutual trust with the SO/spouse deeply enough, you don't have a problem with what they say or do. Lies then can be seen as funny or jokes; because you'll actually know when they aren't actually being serious about lying and call them out on it.

That's the only case that I can see where a form of 'lying' is acceptable. Context is important.

Friends are just friends, it's too situational to be compared on the same level as a relationship. Some friends are disposable, some are your colleagues, some are your coworkers, classmates, so on. But personally, I would rather keep them on the same page.
 
naisho said:
Relationships:
In the beginning, when it's about courting and dating, don't think there's ever been an instance where lying comes out OK/good if you intend to be with them long term. Some things just come back to haunt and bite folks.

During the actual relationship, it's more about trusting than it is about lying. If you gain mutual trust with the SO/spouse deeply enough, you don't have a problem with what they say or do. Lies then can be seen as funny and jokes; because you'll actually know when they aren't actually being serious about lying and call them out on it.

That's the only case that I can see where a form of 'lying' is acceptable.

Friends are just friends, it's too situational to be compared on the same level as a relationship. Some friends are disposable, some are your colleagues, some are your coworkers, classmates, so on. But personally, I would rather keep them on the same page.
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Well I refer to people that are disposable as associates. I can count on one hand and I don't even need all of my fingers about how many good friends I have.

But other than that I totally agree with ya.
 
What's the difference between a lie and a different perspective?
 
Glenn said:
What's the difference between a lie and a different perspective?
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A lie is a untruth. A different perspective is a variation of the truth, imo. Somethings you just can't tweek to make it sound truthful lol.
 
Marty lies to me all the time. He will come sit next to me and be nice then made his move for my food! I feel so used!!
 
Everybody lies to a certain extent....little white lies...or a flat out "lies".....I have friends who are overweight, terrible hair-do's, ugly shoes....etc. And if they ask me "do you like my shoes", or whatever...I'm not gonna say..."No, they are ugly!".....to each their own, I believe...besides, I don't like them as friends because of their shoes, hair or whatever. And I'm not about to hurt their feelings...if they like their shoes (and they must, since they bought them)...I just say..."Oh, they're nice. Do you like them? That's the important thing."

In a relationship, both parties lie from time to time....just to make each other feel good....No one has to be too critical!...But when it comes to cheating, that's a big difference, even $$...So, I don't sweat the little stuff, just concern myself with the big stuff.
 
:lol:

if you have too close with friend or in relationship or married. it sometimes can lead to agruement endless. :lol:
 
rockin'robin said:
Everybody lies to a certain extent....little white lies...or a flat out "lies".....I have friends who are overweight, terrible hair-do's, ugly shoes....etc. And if they ask me "do you like my shoes", or whatever...I'm not gonna say..."No, they are ugly!".....to each their own, I believe...besides, I don't like them as friends because of their shoes, hair or whatever. And I'm not about to hurt their feelings...if they like their shoes (and they must, since they bought them)...I just say..."Oh, they're nice. Do you like them? That's the important thing."

In a relationship, both parties lie from time to time....just to make each other feel good....No one has to be too critical!...But when it comes to cheating, that's a big difference, even $$...So, I don't sweat the little stuff, just concern myself with the big stuff.
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When I go shopping with my sisters, we are totally honest with each other if we ask each others' opinions before buying. One of my sisters is definitely a fashionista and really knows her stuff. If she told me that something was not flattering to me, I'd believe her and not buy the item.

But if something is a done deal, that's a little different. Personally I wouldn't ask someone's opinion unless I really wanted to hear the truth. If I ask one of my sisters "Should I wear *this* outfit or *that* outfit" to such-and-such an occasion, I want the real opinion, not something to make me feel good.

And generally I get it, too.

It's my husband who is more likely to say "They're both fine. C'mon, just get dressed and let's go!" :lol:
 
LOL. It is impossible for me to ask my husband- what do you want for dinner tonight? You know what he said? "I don't know."

So I had to change my way in order to get an answer from him. I just show two different meats- "Do you want beef or chicken?" He replies-"hmm. chicken."

It works.
 
I can't stand a white lie. In my experience, telling the truth is best because people are so shocked by my truth that they they get a kick out of it. The people close to me know to come to me with certain questions because I won't tell them what they want to here. Now if it's a horrible hair style, I'd say " I kind of like the style you had before." From that they understand I'm not feeling the current hair style. If they still aren't sure, I'd say in a nice way, " I just don't like."

When it comes to dating, I want the entire truth because I know if it's not said at the beginning, it would probably be felt, or said, later along down the lines. I like to know every nitty gritty. I like to get to the core of the person, because I know life isn't about cotton candy and puppies. The truth hurts sometimes, but it's just better to be known imho.
 
Lie vs Opinion

Glenn said:
What's the difference between a lie and a different perspective?
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Laughing, Oh come on my friend...Take a seat and hold on, here goes..

A Lie, is a known false statement purposely put forward as the truth, it is meant to deceive or give a wrong impression...

A Different perspective, is a subjective evaluation of possible, relative signifigance presented as a point of view, not necessarily the truth.

I know you are "very cool" and are fluent in the "words of the hood"
so if you need me to break this down further for you, it would be my pleasure.
laughing...Peace to you always..your friend..Midnight..♥♥ :cool2:
 
Well, not ALL the time, I seriously hope!!

Anyway, his heart is pure, his motives are kind, that's about all I need, really.
 
KStiletto said:
I kinda figured it was an animal, just didn't want to assume though. Btw I don't think he lied to you. He had every intention on coming for a taste. It was shown in his face. You just didn't pay attention. :giggle:
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I am joking around!!
 
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