Looking for your insight on this situation...

[KMM758]

I am not deaf, nor do I have any problems with my hearing, but I will explain why I've come here. I am from the United States so I speak English and I am also fluent in Spanish.

I was recently contacted by a young man from Mexico who is about my age. At first, I began to ask him about the things that interest me... and when we came upon the topic of music he told me that he doesn't really listen to music, because he is deaf. This surprised me, but did not deter me from continuing the conversation, though there was another thing I noticed as the conversation went on. It seems that he has considerable difficulty communicating in any way. His writing in Spanish is somewhat disjointed and is not always completely decipherable. From what I gathered, he lives in a region in the south of Mexico where he has only been taught few signs in sign language. He attended a regular school for some time, but was unable to finish because of a lack of money and difficulty communicating. He also mentioned another young woman in the area who cannot communicate at all.

The contact I've had with this man has led me to think about deafness in way that I never have before. It has also led me to think about the opportunities or lack thereof that deaf people have around the world. I am wondering if any of you have had similar experiences or have had contact with deaf people in less advantaged situations. Is this an extreme case of neglect and lack of opportunity? What resources are there for people like him?

I imagine that if there was not someone there with enough time, energy and knowledge to teach him then it would be very difficult for him to pick up language in any way. Is this correct? I know he understands a good deal, but his inability to communicate is what bothers me the most. I have thought about him and his situation quite a lot in the past days and though I try, I'm not sure I can entirely understand why or how he would end up like this.

I appreciate any input you might have on this topic.

 

[somedeafdudefromPNW]

Your feelings are right.

It varies from case to case. It can be neglect, or it can be lack of opportunity. It is not really extreme in that it is unique. Not at all. Many people here went through the same thing.

Some people here don't have strong English skills because no one sat down with them and explained to them how to use grammar correctly because they were expected to memorize everything. Some people are taught how to speak, but no one really taught them how to read since written language is completely different from spoken language in term of grammar usage.

Some deaf people were hidden behind closed doors as part of "family shame," simply not educated and were just expected to do domestic chores such as cleaning and babysitting (hence why you see a lot of deaf janitors.)

Without knowing about his educational or family background, it is difficult to know why or where his Spanish writing doesn't meet the standards.

 

[Reba]

In some countries, the deaf are still not sent to school. They learn neither the spoken/written language of their country, nor the sign language of their country (if it even has one). They usually depend on a few home signs within their family, gestures, and mime.

 

[rockin'robin]

I still remmy this pure Cherokee Indian girl that started school mid-term, at age 18....deaf and never been to school before in her life.....she knew no signs at all, except home-made and "grunted" a lot.

Very sad case! But she did learn some signs, went to school for several months, then she was withdrawn. She was needed "at home" to help work in the fields. She was from Cherokee, N.C.

I often wonder about her, forgetting her name....this was back in 1964. Heck, she might even be here at AD....if so, hello! and remmy NCSD! We taught her some signs.....school....work....home, etc.

 

[Waxy]

In some countries, the deaf are still not sent to school. They learn neither the spoken/written language of their country, nor the sign language of their country (if it even has one). They usually depend on a few home signs within their family, gestures, and mime.

Argentina, here...

Most deaf are "tapados por la familia" here.
Transliteration is "covered by the family".
The meaning is actually "hidden from every sensorial experience"
Most of the fault is due ignorance and brutality from their parents.

 

[steph9700]

I was treated badly by my family & by students & teachers alike growing up in a small town here in the south, (Alabama). At the beginning of every school year , (at least K-5 grades), a football teams worth of medical people came in & tested us for everything they could during the first couple of weeks of the school year. My parents were told I needed hearing aids EVERY year & every time the answer was no. My dad was military so my hearing aids would have been covered in full if I went to the hospital on base at Redstone but my father refused saying that I would never wear them, he didn't even let me have a chance. He had hearing aids in both ears as did both his parents. He told the teachers to put me closest to them up front and to look at me when they talked to me that I was going to learn orally or no way at all. He refused on the grounds that he did just fine without hearing aids growing up and that I could just get over it or get used to it. I begged him many times growing up to let me have them, my mother even tried to help me one time by sneaking behind his back and have me fitted for ear molds and ordered the hearing aids. At the time he was a truck driver so it was easy to do some things while he was out on one of his trips, this was in the 1980's and he worked for Wal-mart at the time so he could have easily been gone on a month long cross country trip. When he got home he threw the moldings in the fireplace and stomped on the outer part and threw it into the fireplace as well. He said no child of his would ever wear a hearing aid that he didn't grow up wearing them and it would make me learn better because I would have to concentrate harder. When I brought home bad grades he would beat the crap out of me and tell me I was just lazy, that I didn't try hard enough. Most of my teachers were really good to me, they knew my dad and how mean he could be some times and had seen him on several occasions making fun of me or putting me down when I asked some one to repeat something. He would yell "are you deaf? no, your not! so pay attention or you don't eat!"... (or get whatever wherever we were at or what we were getting), Some of the teachers though agreed with my dad that I either learned by reading the chalk board and reading their lips or I didn't learn it at all. The kids would make fun of me behind my back, they would say or do things or make noises I wouldn't hear then when I did turn around they would bust out laughing. When I turned 14 I got my parents to sign for me allowing me to have a work permit and I went to work as a cook at the new Hardee's there by the college. The permit allowed me to work from 4pm to 7pm on school days and no more than 6 hours on non-school days. when I turned 16 I could work from 3:30 to 10pm on school nights and as much as I wanted to the rest of the time. By the time I was 17 I was able to buy my first pair of hearing aids for myself and I would hide them when dad was around. Being a girl I could wear my hair over my ears so he couldn't see them and he started to tell people I was starting to get smarter because I was starting to pay attention like I was told to do. Everyone but him for at least a year knew I had hearing aids then a teacher that felt oralism was the only way for deaf people to fit into society saw me take one out to change the battery and told my dad. I had taken them out and put them in my hiding place before he got home that night so I got lucky, when he came in he dug through my bag, searched moms car because it was what I got back and forth to work in and tried to search my room before my mom and brother stood up for me and wouldn't let him in my room or at me. He was very strict about the hearing aids and a couple other things at home but the rest of life with him was very easy, he was almost like a 5 year old on crack with a car and money to boot. After that until I turned nineteen if my brother wasn't there when dad was I kept them hidden so he wouldn't tear them up. I Quit high school just after my 17th birthday and got my G.E.D. a week later and started college the following January at the local community college. because dad was retired/disabled, (cancer from getting sprayed with agent orange in Viet-Nam), the army gave me a free education due to the Montgomery/g.i. bill so I went through and got my "clerical technology" degree which is a glorified way of saying I was a basic secretary, then I got married in Dec. after my 19th birthday in Nov. and moved to Florida for a few months. (Bad and long story there that I'm not getting into)... When I left him and came home so I could get my divorce and straighten things out I wound up having to stay with mom and dad again for a little while. I went back to work at Hardee's full time and started nursing school. I tried to sign up for sign language classes being taught there as the free elective towards the credits I needed to graduate the program. Dad was an instructor at the time in the flight program and found out what classes I was taking, he went in to the office and told them I had made a mistake that I wanted music appreciation class instead. Since they knew dad (remember the small town deal? everyone knew everyone and they were all in everyone else's business all the time), they switched it for him without me even knowing it. he said He would disown me before he would let me do that "stupid hand flapping crap" in public. Again this was his old world childhood preventing me from having a life I felt I would have been more comfortable in. I am sure there are many more people with stories like mine, it's common with older parents that were taught oralism or nothing in their childhood and tried to beat it into their kids as well. I lost my brother in 1996 and lost both my parents last year. I start my first ASL, (American Sign Language), class tonight at the A.I.D.B. here in Birmingham. I am 34yrs old now and for the first time feel safe and free enough to be able to join the community I wanted to be in all my life. I just wanted to be around people like me with the same issues I had and that we could relate to things together. When I found this website it was a total and complete blessing. When I got accepted into the AIDB to start adult education classes was the second greatest thing. I now have places to go and people to talk to that understand and I have the right kind of support. I have Meniere's disease on top of the hereditary loss then the fact I grew up with my dad driving 18 wheelers or flying helicopters causing more damage, I'm lucky I still have any hearing left at all now. The Audiologist and the E.N.T. specialist seem to think I will be extremely lucky to make it to 40 with any hearing at all considering the level of loss I'm having now. I have dropped 20 decibels worth total in the last year alone so it won't be long and in a way, I'm almost looking forward to it.

 

[Tousi]

In some countries, the deaf are still not sent to school. They learn neither the spoken/written language of their country, nor the sign language of their country (if it even has one). They usually depend on a few home signs within their family, gestures, and mime.

And this is why I wish deaf people in Third World countries and elsewhere be hearing.

 

[Waxy]

gee, steph9700.
sorry to read that.

but also great to see you overpassed it.
the best to you and your new goal.

 

[steph9700]

gee, steph9700.
sorry to read that.

but also great to see you overpassed it.
the best to you and your new goal.

Thank-You! I think I'm going to see if I can find a person to be my "ghost writer" as they say, I tell them my life story, they write it out into a book, we publish it and they get a decent cut of the profits, I think it would have to go under fiction though because a lot of stuff in my life a lot of people wouldn't believe could happen to just one person! LOL, but no, really, thank you.