Living Between Hearing and Deaf Worlds?

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suthrnphoduck

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I am hard of hearing. My mom is hard of hearing. My dad was deaf. He died 7 years ago on Christmas morning. My older three brothers can hear fine. I grew up learning ASL to communicate with my parents. I also helped interpret for my parents because they could not hear on the phone. At that time we did not have a TDD. I wear two hearing aids and went to public high school. I took speech therapy for 12 years. I lip read a lot. I talk at school and go home to sign with my parents. I was with my parents a lot going to deaf socials. I have also met some of my Dad's deaf and blind schoolmates. I learned to live with the hearing and the deaf. I have been accepted and rejected by both the hearing and the deaf. Yes it was frustrating but so what. It depends on the individual that you associate with and your self esteem. I just wanted to tell people that you can do anything you set your mind to do. When I take my hearing aids out, I can not hear anything. (Except when I turn the music on full blast and feel the bass, lol) I rely on the flasher, the bedshaker, the tdd. I work full time in a office, I have an amplifer for my phone. I raised two hearing kids on my own. They are going to college. My dad was deaf, had a full time job and he provided for the whole household. The reason I started this topic is because I get tired of people complaining and whining about living in the deaf world or living in the hearing world. (And I am not saying that EVERYONE does it) I have hearing friends that wants to sign. I have deaf friends who does not write well but loves a challenge. I have friends that speak Spanish, French, German even though I can't understand it. I have friends from different religion backgrounds. I have friends that are bikers, sports fan and so on...... From what I see we have one world. Learn to accept who you are, live in it, and live it up! Help people when you can. If every person was the same, then this world sure would be boring!
 
Yeah, it's VERY possible to be a part of both worlds.....I'm bi....some people think that I'm not really gay b/c I like men as well as women. I'm genderqueer.....I ID strongly as both male and female in terms of gender identity.....I never liked makeup and girlly frilly stuff....yet I'mnot too masuline either.
 
deafdyke said:
Yeah, it's VERY possible to be a part of both worlds.....I'm bi....some people think that I'm not really gay b/c I like men as well as women. I'm genderqueer.....I ID strongly as both male and female in terms of gender identity.....I never liked makeup and girlly frilly stuff....yet I'mnot too masuline either.
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:topic:

deafdyke,

What does this have to do with being deaf or hoh in a hearing world? Stay on topic and take notes, please.
 
pek1....Easy b/c the experiances I listed are simlair to living in-between, like hoh folks do.....
 
Yesterday, I wrote an essay about what is it like to be deaf and in wheelchair, and living in the hearing world.

As I went through my childhood and teenage years, I had a very difficult time trying to fit in through middle school and high school, because my peers didn’t understand what it was it like to be deaf and in a wheelchair. I had a few deaf friends during my middle school years, and then they moved away, because of insufficient services in Fairfield Public Schools. I became the only deaf student in high school and I felt very lonely and left out, due to lack of peers in high school.

My experiences as a person with disabilities are very tough because I am profoundly deaf and physically disabled. Deafness is the biggest problem for me because I have very limited speech due to deafness. It is very difficult for me to communicate with hearing people because they don't have time to learn how to use sign language. I have a special device named LightWriter and I type the message then it speaks for me. I also use computers to communicate with people using instant messenger and e-mail. Recently, the government set up the IP-RELAY service for the disabled and now I have access to use it to make calls directly using the computer. It makes me happy because I have been struggling to find a way to make calls.

When I was in eighth grade, there were a lot of bullies making fun of me. They harassed me outside school and through the internet, and I was called: slow, cripple, and negative phrases. My mom called the police and stopped the bullies. It was very awful experience for me because kids didn’t understand that I can’t help it, so they just kept threatening me and they got in very big trouble.
When I entered sophomore year in high school, I got very tired of deaf education services, so I went to a lot of PPTs to advocate for myself to terminate deaf education services. None of the team members agreed with me, because they felt that deaf education services would benefit for me and I told them that I wanted to be more challenged in all of mainstreamed classes without any support. The special education department gave me a chance to prove them that I can do it, and then a few months later, they looked at my grades and the school system said that I did the right thing.
 
deafdyke said:
pek1....Easy b/c the experiances I listed are simlair to living in-between, like hoh folks do.....
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Understandable, deafdyke, but let me ask...when you interview for a job, do you say, "oh, by the way, I'm bisexual and if you don't hire me I'm gonna sue the pants (or dress) off you?" Being bi, gay, lesbian, transgender is NOT a disability...never has been, never will be. Being deaf, it is covered under the ADA so yes, it is. The others are covered under the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (I believe that's the year it was passed). If the company doesn't hire you or anyone else because of being glbt, then it's their issue, whatever way they choose to deal with it.

Sorry. I know it sucks.
 
rjr2006 said:
Yesterday, I wrote an essay about what is it like to be deaf and in wheelchair, and living in the hearing world.

As I went through my childhood and teenage years, I had a very difficult time trying to fit in through middle school and high school, because my peers didn’t understand what it was it like to be deaf and in a wheelchair. I had a few deaf friends during my middle school years, and then they moved away, because of insufficient services in Fairfield Public Schools. I became the only deaf student in high school and I felt very lonely and left out, due to lack of peers in high school.

My experiences as a person with disabilities are very tough because I am profoundly deaf and physically disabled. Deafness is the biggest problem for me because I have very limited speech due to deafness. It is very difficult for me to communicate with hearing people because they don't have time to learn how to use sign language. I have a special device named LightWriter and I type the message then it speaks for me. I also use computers to communicate with people using instant messenger and e-mail. Recently, the government set up the IP-RELAY service for the disabled and now I have access to use it to make calls directly using the computer. It makes me happy because I have been struggling to find a way to make calls.

When I was in eighth grade, there were a lot of bullies making fun of me. They harassed me outside school and through the internet, and I was called: slow, cripple, and negative phrases. My mom called the police and stopped the bullies. It was very awful experience for me because kids didn’t understand that I can’t help it, so they just kept threatening me and they got in very big trouble.
When I entered sophomore year in high school, I got very tired of deaf education services, so I went to a lot of PPTs to advocate for myself to terminate deaf education services. None of the team members agreed with me, because they felt that deaf education services would benefit for me and I told them that I wanted to be more challenged in all of mainstreamed classes without any support. The special education department gave me a chance to prove them that I can do it, and then a few months later, they looked at my grades and the school system said that I did the right thing.
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rjr2006,

I hope this color is okay for you to read. I looked at your profile to see how old you are and was very surprised to see that you are indeed, a high school student or one that just graduated.

Even though I'm hoh and have very good speech and was small in school, especially jr. high, I was picked on, too. You're not alone, but, back then, there was NO legal recourse like there is today. A guidance counselor I had in 7th grade even sneered at my mother and made some remarks, very unflattering. I'm 42 now, and the stigma is still there and do remember the problems and the name calling, which...deafdyke, if you're reading this, the other kids have called me "gay" and other names, so I do know what it's like.

To me, you did the right thing. I would have done the same thing, along with dropping hints of a lawsuit to make those people move their butts faster, which is what I have done a couple of times.

When I attended MSU-Moorhead 2002-2003, the audiologist told me, "Pete you need to learn how to be your own advocate." I have learned and am still standing up for myself. I've come to the point that, quite frankly, I personally don't care if people hate the ground I walk on because I have a hearing dog with me practically everywhere or for whatever reason they may have.

As for the other kids and not understanding...please...you're giving them far too much a benefit of a doubt and are way too nice to them. They know what the issues are with you, they're just jealous. As for the special education people and trying to keep you from standing up for yourself, well, I've experienced that, too...in high school.

I have great admiration for you, young person. If I was in your school, we most definately would be friends and I wouldn't hesitate to help you and hang out with you. You may pm me anytime you desire and chat with me about anything. You (and others here), can contact me on yahoo im at petepeteypedro2000. If we ever meet in person, I would be proud to buy you a cup of coffee. As you probably read underneath my name, I am a writer. Even though I'm still in the training stages and have already sent some resumes out for employment, then I will be a full-fledged journalist, I would consider it an honor to write or assist you in writing your memoirs.
 
I want to thank you all for sharing your stories. Deafdyke, it's true there are some similiarity there but I was focusing on the physical limitations of living in between the hearing and deaf. To rjr2006 I admire you for taking that challenge to become independent. I would not be ashamed to be your friend. Pete I admire you for wanting to become a writer . It is never too late to follow your heart and do something you are passionate about. This goes to show that you that we can do anything we put our minds to do even though we have physical limitations. By trial and suffering we become stronger people. That is why I like Helen Keller's quote.
 
I've lived in both worlds as my family all are hearing - except for my sister and myself. I mainstreamed during the first 5 years of education then the rest at a deaf school. I also took intense speech and auditory therapy during my first 15 years in life -- I reckon I do pretty good in communicating and getting myself understood in the hearing world.
I thrive on spreading the word and teaching people about ASL and deaf culture, so it'd be easier and less frustrating for both parties.
 
Even though I'm hoh and have very good speech and was small in school, especially jr. high, I was picked on, too. You're not alone, but, back then, there was NO legal recourse like there is today.
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*nods*.....seems like getting picked on is a universal experiance for us hoh mainstreamed kids.....
 
deafdyke said:
*nods*.....seems like getting picked on is a universal experiance for us hoh mainstreamed kids.....
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Or others that are "different" in some way. :roll:
 
pek1 said:
Or others that are "different" in some way. :roll:
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Yep...kids can be very cruel, especially in middle school. Woe to you if you speak with words others haven't learned yet (and even worse if you honestly don't mean to confuse anybody), or if you can't keep up in gym...ugh...and these are such SMALL things yet you'd think it was a mortal sin.
 
deafdyke said:
*nods*.....seems like getting picked on is a universal experiance for us hoh mainstreamed kids.....
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I think getting picked on is a universal experience for pretty much everybody.
 
travisdoesmath said:
I think getting picked on is a universal experience for pretty much everybody.
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Yea, I agree with that. Nobody has a lock on that particular experience. Kids have a way of looking for somebody...anybody they can feel superior to. Being HOH or deaf is just an easier target but the normal hearing nerd is just as ridiculed.

I read "Lord of the flies" in high school and I think that book sort of sums it up well. The total lack of maturity of kids in general and especially high school is unbelievable. College was a breath of fresh air as sanity seemed to prevail.
 
sr171soars said:
Yea, I agree with that. Nobody has a lock on that particular experience. Kids have a way of looking for somebody...anybody they can feel superior to. Being HOH or deaf is just an easier target but the normal hearing nerd is just as ridiculed.

I read "Lord of the flies" in high school and I think that book sort of sums it up well. The total lack of maturity of kids in general and especially high school is unbelievable. College was a breath of fresh air as sanity seemed to prevail.
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I agree with you on this. :) About what you said on the normal hearing nerd is just as ridculed, you are right....I remember in middle school, a hearing girl of about 14 years old had acne on her face. Some of the other girls made fun of her because of her face.....I don't know what had happened to her after that, but I am sure she is now a very pretty woman. :)
It's not just the deaf or HOH, or even those in wheelchairs, just about everyone's been through this going to school. Even myself, included (because of my deafness, two boys on my bus were laughing asking me who George Washington was. My friend who was sitting with me told them to shut up.....I haven't seen them since (I guess the bus driver told on them since he was close enough to hear them back there ;) I made good grades at school, so I guess those boys think the deaf/HOH were dumb?).
I also have seen two boys assaulting a third boy in our middle school hallway by punching his stomach....all were hearing. I don't know what happened after that deal, since I had to go to my next class at the time.
So, hearing people were being picked on also, as I have stated in the two incidents I've seen here.
 
Let's take this one step further...

Is it not true that this happens amongst those that are deaf? I'm sure many of you have had experiences with this that still rankles to this day. People are people the world over and it never changes...doesn't matter what one's condition or situation is.

One of my many beefs :mrgreen: is that too many people have a hard time differentiating between true discrimination and those just being an idiot maturity wise. It is all too easy to classify everything as discrimination or "we vs them". Another way of looking at it is from the motivation standpoint. Are people doing because they believe they are truly superior or because they feel so insecure? Ahhhh! That is the crux of the matter...

Anybody can tell you that most, if not all kids, do stupid stuff like this from strictly an immaturity viewpoint. It takes time for kids to get to a point usually as an young adult (and some longer than that) where they can formulate such a sophisicated view of the world where they are "indeed" superior or better than others whatever it may be. Most of the time it is just fear of the unknown that drives people to be so stupid about others...

Nobody is immune to this no matter how "High and Mightly" we get about it.
 
Agreed.....don't deny that hearie kids get picked on......but for kids who are visably "obviously" different (as in the case of kids with disabilites), especially in whitebread suburbs or other places where there's not too much diversity it can be EXTREMELY nasty.
 
True, there was a friend of mine named Heather who took some crap at that age for being hoh. I've got the feeling they were also jealous of Heather's intelligence.

And also in some of those very un-diverse places (is that a word?), it seems like kids find the TINIEST little things to get you on. So I didn't date in middle school...somehow that was offensive or ridiculous to these people. And I was 11-13 years old. Sheesh.
 
sr171soars said:
Being HOH or deaf is just an easier target but the normal hearing nerd is just as ridiculed.
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What does that make those of us who are hoh and nerds? :dance2:

Seriously, though... Yeah. Being picked on is normal... Everyone gets picked on, it is inevitable.

And 'undiverse' is a word if you want to say it is.
 
suthrnphoduck said:
From what I see we have one world. Learn to accept who you are, live in it, and live it up! Help people when you can. If every person was the same, then this world sure would be boring!
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:gpost:

Yeah!! I like to say I live in my own little world. :giggle:
 
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