Listening And Hearing, Not The Same For Children With CI

Here we go again.

Someone has to come in and make a post that implies that the other posters are saying that willsmom is not doing right by her son. Nothing of the sort was stated, nor implied.

Why is it that some think the dissemination of accurate information for those that may be reading these posts and looking for such is a judgement against the right and wrong of a parent's action?

This attitude is why the arguments start, not the statement of facts.
 
willsmom said:
This is the last thing I am saying because I feel like There is no one here who is on my side now and I don't know why. Getting him the CI was the hardest choice I have ever made but I would do it again. Hearing children are expected to know 20 words by 18 months and my son is beyond that. I have worked my butt off for him to get him everything he needs and to learn a completely new language (ASL) since he was born. This does NOT make me a bad person! I have simply done what will make my sons life easiest in the long term.
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No one here is not "on your side." This isn't a matter of being "on anyone's side". It is about making the information people get broader and more comprehensive. There is not a side to take.
 
willsmom said:
This is the last thing I am saying because I feel like There is no one here who is on my side now and I don't know why. Getting him the CI was the hardest choice I have ever made but I would do it again. Hearing children are expected to know 20 words by 18 months and my son is beyond that. I have worked my butt off for him to get him everything he needs and to learn a completely new language (ASL) since he was born. This does NOT make me a bad person! I have simply done what will make my sons life easiest in the long term.
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Nobody is calling you a bad mother. People here are merely discussing a subject that hits close to home for you. There is no need to take it personal.
 
I have simply done what will make my sons life easiest in the long term.
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Yes, you have. I'm on your side, there are others here who have CIs or who have given their kids CIs. The anti-CI contingent can be loud about it and preen in their own decisions, but that doesn't have to have anything to do with you and your decisions for your son.

I'm sure you made your decision after proper consultation with doctors, probably a lot of reading up on it, evaluating pros and cons. I doubt it's easy for anyone.

I hope you stick around; I'll be interested in hearing about your son's progress.
 
Thank you so much beach girl. It hurts me so much when I feel I have to defend my actions when I am doing everything I can for my son. I did not make my choices without considering both sides, I have family who is deaf (one who got the courage to get the CI she could never admit she even wanted to her family after seeing my son with his)
 
Beach girl said:
Yes, you have. I'm on your side, there are others here who have CIs or who have given their kids CIs. The anti-CI contingent can be loud about it and preen in their own decisions, but that doesn't have to have anything to do with you and your decisions for your son.

I'm sure you made your decision after proper consultation with doctors, probably a lot of reading up on it, evaluating pros and cons. I doubt it's easy for anyone.

I hope you stick around; I'll be interested in hearing about your son's progress.
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Again, this isn't about sides.

The OP was a research study report. Nothing personal in it. And the responses are based on such. Why do you insist on turning everything into a personally directed insult, when the discussion is factual, not personal?
 
willsmom said:
Thank you so much beach girl. It hurts me so much when I feel I have to defend my actions when I am doing everything I can for my son. I did not make my choices without considering both sides, I have family who is deaf (one who got the courage to get the CI she could never admit she even wanted to her family after seeing my son with his)
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You don't need to defend anything, because you have not been put in a position of needing to defend yourself. No one has criticised your decisions. Please don't allow a single poster make you believe that anyone here is "against" you, your decisions, or your child. It simply is not true.
 
You're welcome. I don't like to see parents who made what they thought was the right decision for their child get bashed for and be the subject of snarky remarks like "You've been talking to the CI advocates, haven't you?" Well, I HOPE you talked to some CI advocates before doing such a thing! Wouldn't make sense to go ahead with it without knowing of the benefits that might be possible.

It sounds like so far, so good, for you and your son.

Please do a search for the posts from GrendelQ. She has a 5 year old daughter who was born deaf, was implanted as a toddler, I believe, and is doing quite well now. You might find her story interesting and hopeful as her child is a bit older than your son and now has a couple or three year's experience using her CI. (I'm not sure about exact time of implantation - a while ago, anyway.)

As you read around, you'll see other adults here, some of whom got implants as toddlers or young children, some who did it quite late in life. Most of them, far as I can tell, are anywhere from "reasonably happy" to "downright thrilled" with their CIs.

The most vocal CI antagonists are either completely hearing (like Jillio), or completely deaf and glad to be so, and don't want CIs. Why they think their opinions re: CIs should have more validity than the people who are actually using them is a mystery to me, but there it is.
 
Unlike you willsmom I never had to make choices with either of my sons being born "deaf/hearing impaired". I agree with you in its your responsiblity on which direction to take re: deafness- Cochlear Implant( if suitable) or ASL

Clearly others disagree with you which should have absolutely no effect on what YOU have chosen.
This intermural exercise has been going for some time since the early 90s with the improvements of Cochlear Implants now suitable to babies/young children.

Willsmom just consider that EVERY ADULT does make the same choice in getting their Cochlear Implant vs remaining deaf and utilize sign communication only (ASL)

Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07
 
Beach girl said:
You're welcome. I don't like to see parents who made what they thought was the right decision for their child get bashed for and be the subject of snarky remarks like "You've been talking to the CI advocates, haven't you?" Well, I HOPE you talked to some CI advocates before doing such a thing! Wouldn't make sense to go ahead with it without knowing of the benefits that might be possible.

It sounds like so far, so good, for you and your son.

Please do a search for the posts from GrendelQ. She has a 5 year old daughter who was born deaf, was implanted as a toddler, I believe, and is doing quite well now. You might find her story interesting and hopeful as her child is a bit older than your son and now has a couple or three year's experience using her CI. (I'm not sure about exact time of implantation - a while ago, anyway.)

As you read around, you'll see other adults here, some of whom got implants as toddlers or young children, some who did it quite late in life. Most of them, far as I can tell, are anywhere from "reasonably happy" to "downright thrilled" with their CIs.

The most vocal CI antagonists are either completely hearing (like Jillio), or completely deaf and glad to be so, and don't want CIs. Why they think their opinions re: CIs should have more validity than the people who are actually using them is a mystery to me, but there it is.
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Why are you more concerned with attempting to get fights started than you are about accurrate information being provided for parents of deaf children? Are you really that shallow?

Looks like another thread shot all to hell by the butt hurt.
 
jillio said:
You don't need to defend anything, because you have not been put in a position of needing to defend yourself. No one has criticised your decisions. Please don't allow a single poster make you believe that anyone here is "against" you, your decisions, or your child. It simply is not true.
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I get that no one here has been against me. I tend to be defensive because other people have been and really mean about it too - not on this site and hopefully it stays that way. I know they learn to listen and it takes more work than hearing children but it is worth it. I work with my son hours every day to help him. It is wonderful to see him run after me saying mama mama after we thought he might never develop any speech because of his profound deafness. I know hearing babies develop quicker speech abilities of course they do but CI children can learn to have verbal conversations with hearing people and asl with other deaf people. He recognizes so many sounds and understands so many words. Cutest thing - he is trying to say thank you when you give him something - such a gentleman!
 
willsmom said:
I get that no one here has been against me. I tend to be defensive because other people have been and really mean about it too - not on this site and hopefully it stays that way. I know they learn to listen and it takes more work than hearing children but it is worth it. I work with my son hours every day to help him. It is wonderful to see him run after me saying mama mama after we thought he might never develop any speech because of his profound deafness. I know hearing babies develop quicker speech abilities of course they do but CI children can learn to have verbal conversations with hearing people and asl with other deaf people. He recognizes so many sounds and understands so many words. Cutest thing - he is trying to say thank you when you give him something - such a gentleman!
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That is great. I am really happy that you don't feel you have been attacked here. This site is not about that at all. I'm sorry that you have felt the need to defend yourself with others. But really, you don't need to do that here.

On this site, you will find people who are not against CI implantation, and firmly support parental choice. However, the most of us also support that a deaf child, whether they have a CI or not, should be also exposed to sign language from the very beginning, and that it needs to continue even after they are implanted for them to get the most benefit. Th.ose who have been deaf from birth are very much for the "full toolbox" approach

I see that you are using sign with your son, and my advice would be to keep it up, even if he is using oral language. He needs it to help him understand his world around him while he learns.

I love it when they first start to communicate like that. Whether it is with words or with sign, they are precious.

Beach girl is right. I am a hearie. However, I raised a deaf son in a bi-lingual bi-cultural environment, and have been closely involved with Deaf culture and deaf students for 25 years. I am not a newbie to this. And I might add, that Beach girl is a late deafended HOH who has no idea what a deaf child goes through. Just so you can decide for yourself which posts apply to your child and which don't.
 
willsmom said:
I get that no one here has been against me. I tend to be defensive because other people have been and really mean about it too - not on this site and hopefully it stays that way. I know they learn to listen and it takes more work than hearing children but it is worth it. I work with my son hours every day to help him. It is wonderful to see him run after me saying mama mama after we thought he might never develop any speech because of his profound deafness. I know hearing babies develop quicker speech abilities of course they do but CI children can learn to have verbal conversations with hearing people and asl with other deaf people. He recognizes so many sounds and understands so many words. Cutest thing - he is trying to say thank you when you give him something - such a gentleman!
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That's great to hear! Simply amazing what technology can do for deaf/hh children. But that's only half of the battle. Parents are key in this battle on speech and hearing development.
 
I'm not at all intending to get fights started. Why is that *your* posts are so often perceived by people like willsmom and others as being not supportive and as being antagonistic to them and their choices?

She has made a perfectly valid choice for her child. It's not the one you made. So what? Doesn't make you better or worse, doesn't make her better or worse. Plenty of loving, thoughtful ways to raise a deaf child, and I hope she gets support as she goes along this path.
 
It took me a long time to learn sign and I have so much more to learn but my sons favorite sign is elephant. so cute. Are you or your immediate family hoh or deaf? Have you ever met anyone with a CI?
 
willsmom said:
It took me a long time to learn sign and I have so much more to learn but my sons favorite sign is elephant. so cute. Are you or your immediate family hoh or deaf? Have you ever met anyone with a CI?
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Is that to me? I lost much of my hearing as an adult as a reaction to an anti-malaria drug that I had to take for two years while living in Africa. At first it was a mild loss and has progressed to "severe" over the past 3 decades. I use HAs quite well, not a CI. I don't think I'm a candidate, and my hearing has been stable at this low level for quite some time.

There are a lot of people here with CIs; other than that, I have not personally known anyone with one.
 
willsmom said:
It took me a long time to learn sign and I have so much more to learn but my sons favorite sign is elephant. so cute. Are you or your immediate family hoh or deaf? Have you ever met anyone with a CI?
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I know hundreds of CI users. My son is profoundly deaf and has been since birth. I work with deaf students as an advocate, and am a counselor for the deaf.

My son's favorite sign at that age was "butterfly"...probably because there was a butterfly bush outside his bedroom window and he could look out from his crib and see them flying around.

Yes, it does take a while to become comfortable in another language. But it is well worth the effort. As your son grows, you will become more comfortable.

I have to take off for awhile to do some work, but I do hope you will stick around and learn what some of the D/deaf people on this forum have to teach you. If you listen to what they say with an open mind, they can teach you valuable things about what it like to be a deaf child. You have a very interesting and rewarding journey ahead of you!
 
willsmom said:
It took me a long time to learn sign and I have so much more to learn but my sons favorite sign is elephant. so cute. Are you or your immediate family hoh or deaf? Have you ever met anyone with a CI?
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Not sure if you are asking me or BG.
 
Beach girl said:
I'm not at all intending to get fights started. Why is that *your* posts are so often perceived by people like willsmom and others as being not supportive and as being antagonistic to them and their choices?

She has made a perfectly valid choice for her child. It's not the one you made. So what? Doesn't make you better or worse, doesn't make her better or worse. Plenty of loving, thoughtful ways to raise a deaf child, and I hope she gets support as she goes along this path.
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Will'smom said that she did not feel attacked here.;) And I have managed to open a beneficial line of communication with her despite your conscious or unconscious efforts to turn into a "Us vs them" argument.
 
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