Lack of interaction with women

MattyinAus

MattyinAus

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Hey all.

I am not fully deaf. Just moderate to severe profound hearing impaired. Also mild autism. Nothing that is bad for my case.

However I am having trouble interacting with young women in general, especially at uni and around. I have been through uni 4 years already (finishing off this year), interaction with women is still as bad as my first year. Since going through counselling appointments and stuff, it still has not proved.

So what the problem is, I can't kept telling any women in general who talks to me repeat repeat repeat because I couldn't understand the words exactly in the speech but still can hear it. I find that in this sort of situation that many of them feel turned off and don't interact with me anymore. This is a common problem in my life, especially in social places. With mild aspie, it also add fuel to social interaction problems. I can't see any such improvements in near future.

I am completing my degree at end of this year, and then heading off to US working holiday for 10months or so with the program. I have no idea what is going to be like. But I am expecting similar and familiar problems with my social interaction. Being single, with lack of closeness with women is just bad. I still couldn't get with guys at all (I am straight to the extent). I am trying so hard as I can. It is really scary for anything not to happen because my hearing loss or autism traits can blow up opportunities of meeting someone 'the one'.

Do anything understand this as a problem? I wasn't trying to make a big deal. I just wish things are easier. Without judging or discriminate someone like this whose is not at fault.
 
Was your "condition" not "discussed" with "counselling" as to the "cause" and what can be effected to "deal with" social interactions?
What in your circumstance is the "interaction" of "hearing difficulties" with " mild autism"? What do the "medical persons" you have consulted "suggest"?
Good luck in securing "livable answers" in the near future.
 
drphil said:
Was your "condition" not "discussed" with "counselling" as to the "cause" and what can be effected to "deal with" social interactions?
What in your circumstance is the "interaction" of "hearing difficulties" with " mild autism"? What do the "medical persons" you have consulted "suggest"?
Good luck in securing "livable answers" in the near future.
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I have no idea what you talking about? I can't even understand what you saying. Could you make it as simple English language please? So I can answer.
 
You need to seeing a Professional Psychiatry instead of asking us in this site. We can't answer or help with your situation.

Best of Luck
 
Maybe you're trying too hard.
 
I have been through counsellors and that for 7 years on this topic. The situation has not changed. I didn't do anything wrong. How possible if I tried too hard? If I did, I would ended up in jail cell for stalking, raping or whatever that is criminal that I don't want to think of.

I think this place is really bad. Lot of them having very bad attitude against me. Making friends getting harder and harder these days here since I started in February 2010. People attitude gone down hill. I didn't cause them at all!
 
MattyinAus said:
I have been through counsellors and that for 7 years on this topic. The situation has not changed. I didn't do anything wrong. How possible if I tried too hard? If I did, I would ended up in jail cell for stalking, raping or whatever that is criminal that I don't want to think of.

I think this place is really bad. Lot of them having very bad attitude against me. Making friends getting harder and harder these days here since I started in February 2010. People attitude gone down hill. I didn't cause them at all!
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If you've been "through counsellors" and are still having problems, then apparently you are still a work in progress. Don't give up on the professional counseling help.

Trying too hard means focusing and stressing too much on one goal. You have to relax and not act so needy with women. We can sense desperation, and are generally not comfortable with that.

Keep working with your counselors to resolve your life issues first. Then you can relax better in society.
 
Reba said:
If you've been "through counsellors" and are still having problems, then apparently you are still a work in progress. Don't give up on the professional counseling help.

Trying too hard means focusing and stressing too much on one goal. You have to relax and not act so needy with women. We can sense desperation, and are generally not comfortable with that.

Keep working with your counselors to resolve your life issues first. Then you can relax better in society.
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I believe you haven't got what I mean to say. I said I wasn't trying too hard. I got other things to do rather than just focusing on one thing and being desperate paedophile like my ex gf. I am not desperate. I am seeking 'right ways of life'. Not 'limited ways of life'. I am not handicapped. The way the world treats me is being handicapped.

I see people including women as bullies. Internal bullies. Do I need to work on that for counselling to make them not to bully me any more? There are no such actions for me to cause this bully from this. Think about it.

The way I do, is not causing problems. Never done crime. Never done bad things. I never intend to sin to become a sin. I believe in trust, right ways of life, proper lifestyle. Guidance to counselling does not make this work. It has to be other people, including women to fix this problem since I haven't done anything.

Why it has to be so hard to communicate when I am happy like right now? I always get told that people see me not happy while I am smiling and being bright and passionate about things? Well the answer is, I can see they are not happy. Quite most of them aren't happy! Pretty much at my uni! I gotta say 'wow!'.

I am not trying to be retarded here. I am trying my best to how to put the words together of how I can attribute the understandings of what I am experiencing the problems. I never had a problem of myself. I don't go and say 'Hey, hows your %&%$ day going?', or intend to road rage, or go to change my life to become an alcoholic or drugger, or rape a women or destroy a building. Who is that? Not me! Why people sense me in wrong way?

Oh come on! Look at my life! SUCCESSFUL! I am finishing my degree this year, I am buffed up at the gym (about to go after posting this message), I have money (but that isn't really important), I got accepted to do working holiday visa to US for 12months from December this year and I have a true loving family! I have good CV! Great qualifications. So what kind of person is this? Does to take to heart to blame my aspie traits and hearing loss? You CANNOT stop these kind of people with hearing loss and aspie traits like this! That is cruel, discriminating, violence, racism and that etc.

End of rant. Off to gym and do some bulk muscles working.
 
You have mentioned "women" in your interactions does the same condition show up in your interactions with men?

As for your assertion of much therapy without much "success" what is the apparent "trouble"for such a causation to "continue"?

What do you expect to occur when you are "part of the working world"?
 
Hope you visit places in USA that has huge Deaf population so that you can get practice.
 
Do you use Auslan Sign Language though not "deaf" just having a "hearing Loss"?
Have you been "advised" that "perhaps" your condition is a "processing problem"? If so-what do the "doctors you have been with" suggest to deal with your " condition"?
Again much success in the near future.
 
I do British sign language.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzRcl43VdyQ]What is going on....please take me back...don't ruin it for me - YouTube[/ame]
 
Dude, fact of the matter is, it is harder for us than hearing people. Communication is a number one requirement for women. It's not you so much as the situation itself.

You can improve yourself, take sign and lip reading course; exercise to improve the physique, etc. It is not hopeless, but it's a tough environment without a level playing field.
 
Sign language in British is my first language. Then I started speaking English and its all the same since. Lip reading course? This is how I try to hear and understand hearing people's speech.

Don't want to be objective here. I done everything as I done. I lip read, sign, try to understand. So, the problem remains. The attitude of women approach. Didn't you watch the video? It tells you. Answers your question.
 
MattyinAus said:
Sign language in British is my first language. Then I started speaking English and its all the same since. Lip reading course? This is how I try to hear and understand hearing people's speech.

Don't want to be objective here. I done everything as I done. I lip read, sign, try to understand. So, the problem remains. The attitude of women approach. Didn't you watch the video? It tells you. Answers your question.
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No one here has met you in person. They don't know who you are. Give yourself some time. Don't rush. Ya got your life in front of ya.
 
Maybe you could relocate to a bigger city so you can have a better chance to find a lady.
 
Definitely give it time. Don't try too hard.. women really do sense that desperation. Also, try getting female friends first instead of trying to make your first real interactions with girls into relationships.

Also, a quote from one of my favorite anime's... always remember this because sometimes you gotta just shake your head and let it go.. "girls are scary and make no sense". :)
 
I wasn't trying to be desperate. My ex gf was truely desperate for a boyfriend whose that is me! Theres a difference between making friends and desperation.

Maybe it best to avoid me then, because I am so sick and tired of everyone seeing me in wrong way. Like you said you sensing me desperation. I am not desperate. I am a happy unique guy! Thank you very much.
 
Matt: if you are "happy unique guy" in your present circumstances than your ongoing "difficulties" re: interacting with "women" would be a "minor trifle". Correct?

Did you consider trying to go to "singles dances"? Hopefully: you don't have " 3 left feet"! Usually there are "lots of women" there. From my observation over the years.

Know: Cha/cha.rumba/swing/rock & roll/disco steps?
 
I guess that we are sensing desperation because you are posting here for help with dealing with women. If everything was fine for you, you wouldn't be making all these posts and videos about your situation.

If you truly are happy then more power to you. :)
 
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