Kids after 18 years old at home / empty nests in parenting

Kids staying with you at home

  • Children can live with me as long as they want to and behave

    Votes: 12 60.0%

  • 18 years old to specific age like 25 years old,etc (describe)

    Votes: 2 10.0%

  • Children must leave at 18 years old

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Children must leave before 18 years old

    Votes: 1 5.0%

  • Other.. Describe

    Votes: 5 25.0%
  • Total voters
    20
I left home at the age of 19 to join the army. Now my wife and I have a family of our own and we won't be able to fit our family with either parents now. My wife and I also talked about our kids and come up with the same answer. If our kids are at home and farthering their education then they have all the right to stay at home. If they are living with us and don't want to go back to school, then they need to find their own place. In the long run, it sounds better. That way, they don't have to be worried at age 25 and still have to follow their parents rules. They are adults, they are not going to live with us and be a bum, they will either being going to college, or making their own living.
 
naisho said:
Just curious of your opinion. I am not a parent.

Are you ok with your kids staying home after the age of 18?
Why not?

I've created a poll that I think it fits most answers.

Discuss.

The way I was raised do not adhere to "native" white american cultures (I do not mean this in a racist way), but I am curious of other's perspectives.
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Forget the answers. Look at the question.

What does it say about the culture we live in?

What kind of a culture produces such a discussion?
 
I left home as soon as I left high school.

Got tired of mom doing everything for me, and not letting me make my own mistakes.
 
All my kids are welcome to live at home as long as they wish-I actually prefer they do, because we live in a high cost-of-living area and they can save their money for their own home when they marry. I can't afford to give the kids downpayments, but I can let them stay here and then they can save.

My oldest will be going to college in the fall, away, but he'll still live here during breaks and summers, still have his room.
 
springtime said:
All my kids are welcome to live at home as long as they wish-I actually prefer they do, because we live in a high cost-of-living area and they can save their money for their own home when they marry. I can't afford to give the kids downpayments, but I can let them stay here and then they can save.

My oldest will be going to college in the fall, away, but he'll still live here during breaks and summers, still have his room.
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Maybe after they marry they could move to a lower cost-of-living area, depending on whether they can find good jobs there.
 
Reba said:
Maybe after they marry they could move to a lower cost-of-living area, depending on whether they can find good jobs there.
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This is something we are encouraging. I also told them that it should be warm, too, and then dh and I will follow them when we retire :giggle:

My state has a documented 'brain-drain'-the educated young people tend to not stay.
 
When I first read the question of this thread I thought, "What is the socially accepted form of 'native' white american culture?" As far as my experience goes, I always considered deaf people to be accepting of all races and cultures. There are only so many deaf people we can socialize with, for that reason we often accept other deaf people who bring different cultures with them.

To answer your question, I can only tell you about my experience. I moved out at 19 years old when I got a job at a factory. I stayed at the job for 4 and a half years then 9/11 happened. Hostility within the work place increased and I found myself unwelcome by others so I left. Because I had left my job, naturally I had to find a different job but was unable to. In the end I had to move back with my parents. First I lived with my mother, she became mad at me because I was unable to find a job so she kicked me out. Then I moved in with my dad, I was unable to live in his box cluttered apartment. In that apartment it was so cluttered that it was impossible to do anything such as start a project, have friends over, store business equipment (if I started a small business), that sort of stuff. I left my father's apartment and my family for a girl I met online. The rest is history.
 
spiderjump said:
...To answer your question, I can only tell you about my experience. I moved out at 19 years old when I got a job at a factory. I stayed at the job for 4 and a half years then 9/11 happened. Hostility within the work place increased and I found myself unwelcome by others so I left....
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Why did hostility against you increase after 9/11?
 
I have a feeling because of his skin color. My dad have dark skin and I wouldn't be surprised he experienced hostility even though he never talked about it. I wonder that's why he hate shopping even for grocery store (he only go to the nearest convience store to get his food) . He told me he will ask me to do shopping for him.
 
A said:
I have a feeling because of his skin color. My dad have dark skin and I wouldn't be surprised he experienced hostility even though he never talked about it. I wonder that's why he hate shopping even for grocery store (he only go to the nearest convience store to get his food) . He told me he will ask me to do shopping for him.
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That would be unusual in Flint. White people are the minority in Flint.
 
souggy said:
I left home as soon as I left high school.

Got tired of mom doing everything for me, and not letting me make my own mistakes.
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lol!! me 2 x i do argue with my mom all the times i dont like that but i cant wait get out on my own somedays
 
BLeGal2 said:
Yeah that is acceptable. Help with the bills is a huge plus! I will be moving back in with my mom in the Spring, cause I will be graduating college. She is nice enough to let me stay with her till I get a job, enough money for grad school, and then an apt. Parents are the best for helping their kids have a grace period to raise some money.

If I had a filthy kid that couldn't hold a job, or keep their college grades up, then they would be kicked out so they would be forced to get their crap together, but as long as they help out then they can stay :)
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same my brother always do that all the times but he never clean on his own!! But i do clean kitchen,living room,my own room,etc and also mow grass must orderly neat house but my dog Walter is mess!!
 
I moved out of my mom's house when I was 19. I didn't want to deal with her codie and clutter husband. She controlled my life. :/ I will let kids make choice when they become 18 want to stay with me to save the money for college. They can be ready for move out. I don't want to be raise my kids like my mom done to me in past.
 
I was in my parents home for the most part until I got married at 29. I moved out a few times, but always came home. My kids will always be allowed to stay even after they are 18 as long as they help out and abide by the rules. Son is already planning on moving out and back to Missouri as soon as he can after 18. Daughter is planning on staying home and helping me as long as I need her. She will not be able to live alone and she does not want to marry.
 
Wirelessly posted

I moved out when I was 21. Much later, I moved back to mom's at 23... a while later, moved out to PA, now I returned to mom's cos of my personal problemic experiences. Yeah, it is a long story. :(

I know I will move out again. Someday...

So I don't see why and how it is wrong to live with family after 18...
 
KarissaMann05 said:
Wirelessly posted

I moved out when I was 21. Much later, I moved back to mom's at 23... a while later, moved out to PA, now I returned to mom's cos of my personal problemic experiences. Yeah, it is a long story. :(

I know I will move out again. Someday...

So I don't see why and how it is wrong to live with family after 18...
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Wait a minute, did you just say you're back in OR?
 
I would say that it depends on the situation.

If the kid is obviously ready to go out on his own, then I would encourage him to move out.

If the kid is going to college right after high school, why worry?

If the kid is going to college nearby, then I would be fine with him staying as long as he shows us respect by following our house rules and does nothing stupid.

If the kid is just a lazy bum and shows signs that he's not going to improve (like find a job or be responsible), then I'd try to come up with an agreement or something.

When I graduated high school, I went to community college that was located a few miles away. So, I stayed with my parents. When I started working full-time, I moved out... which was around the age of 20. I moved out and moved into an apartment with a roommate. Later, I moved out and got my own apartment. :)
 
I stayed my parents little too long till I have enough money AND find right woman then move out and own a house.
Own a house is cheap than rent a apt in 10-20 years later. So that's why I don't bother to rent a apt/house before
 
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