Just Venting ~ Getting it off my chest

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RainGurl

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I am pretty upset right now, my mom tells me all the time how much money she is making and now it would be nice if we took her away. I asked do you have money to pay for your meals, she says no you should be paying for them. She tells me to rearrange my plans and my life around her constantly. Today we are celebrating with her, our lil one's birthday which is actually tomorrow. So we got a cake, and making yummy tacos! She almost CANCELLED on me!

I can't take the self-pity and games anymore. I asked her what she wanted me to do about her financial situation? Support you? She goes, oh not like that would ever happen...! She was like Oh I need to borrow 5 bucks, I just spent all of my money on your daughter.

WHAT?! I mean, if she didn't have the money she shouldn't have spent it. She never "borrows" she takes and doesn't return it.

I am so frustrated. I can see this a being a bad night a million miles away!

Hug me plz?
 
HUGS RainGurl....i know the feeling the money thing can be a biggest issue sometimes. hang in there! :)
 
Aww Im sorry to hear all about it... I hope you will get things strighten out... or you can ride things out....


Tell your daughter happy birthday!! How old would she be? My sisters birthday was actually yesterday!!
 
You might want to start telling your mom NO when she asks to borrow money and be firm on that. She will get upset about that for while but she will get over that and start using her own $$ instead of taking advantage of you. Ive been through this before with other people and the best way is to be nice but say NO every time they ask. Im sorry that your mom hurts you this way.
 
First of all, Raingurl.. :hug:

To be honest, Your mom just LIKE my mom.. :(

I suffered enough with her.. now she is senile and possible alzhermier's... I dont know if i could help out or take care of her after all those years, she put me through hell.. (sigh)... its going to be hard decisions..

hang in there.. dear..
 
Raingurl, are you worried about your mom financially?

It sounds fishy to me, too, because she seems to have poor management of her money and then blames that on others (you and your family).

That is a warning sign, IMO! Could it be mental or physical health issue for her? Or maybe she just feels lonely, and have learned this behavior is the way she can stop feeling lonely?

Hey, I could be wrong... follow your instincts and you do have a family to care for, and happy birthday to your 4 year old! :) Good luck.
 
I'm second w/Liza.... Actually she seek for "pity" and all expecting get from you..

I"m sorry.. I wish I could hug you... (hugs)

by the way, Happy Birthday to your daughter.....
 
RainGurl said:
Hug me plz?
Click to expand...
:hug: Man, I feel sorry for ya... Maybe you just gotta say to your mom what is on your mind. Remember the squeaky wheel gets the grease. If you don't say something you won't get nothing. Good luck to ya!! and Hapy B-day to your daughter
 
Normally parent dont ask to borrow money from their kids but kids do borrow money from parent. Or parent help out for their kids. My mom help out all over her kid. Now she passed on and what left of her money goes to her 3 kids and that will be the last time we get the help from her. At least I know she is pain free.

I am sorry to hear that and knowing that is not the right thing to do for her doing that. I hope you be firm about it and say NO and you got other thing to worry about. :hug:
 
hugs raingurl
your mom is almost alike my mom

sometimes she don't feel like wanna to go anywhere earlier she told me that she can't afford to buy things but she keep buy things for grandkids SHEESH

i undy your frustration smile
 
I say no all the time. She borrows money from friends, always never pays them back. She has approached me about her bills, asking me to pay 200-400 dollars at a time. She tells me that I borrow money from her, which sometimes I do but I always pay her back like in a week or a few days. I always keep my word. She is up and down all the time. She makes excuses for her behaviour, says oh I wasn't feel well. Or I am just having a rough time. Or I was just really tired. Always the same ole thing. I am just so sick of it. I don't even WANT her over tonight! She tries to smooth things over than few minutes later she pissed about SOMETHING ELSE! Like my inlaws for example we are going to meet them in Toronto..she goes oh you are going away with Hubby's parents again?? She wants me to take her and pay for everything, etc. We are NOT going away WITH them, we are meeting them and still doing our own thing there. We aren't sticking around, or hanging around. She asked if she was ONLY one giving our lil one a gift tonight. I said yes, she goes oh that is not VERY NICE! You can't even get her a gift???? That is really crappy! I told her first of all her B-Day is tomorrow and we are getting her something tomorrow, and I am sure her Grandparents are too. So she can open gifts then. The reason WHY I am having my mother over was becasue she was so pissed were leaving on her B-day and she wanted to celebrate THIS week. So I went out of my way, invited her, I am making a nice meal, and having angel food cake for all of us. She is angry that I didn't invite others that it's just her. Personally I don't want any of our friends aroun dher, she embarrasses us and everything.

Sigh! Anyhow Hubby is gonna get her a barbie on the way home. So atleast she can have ONE thing from us tonight, since my mother thinks we are SUCH CRAPPY PARENTS!
 
Obviously you'll need to draw up more boundary lines with your over-zealous mother...yet, you do bend backwards just for her sake alone and that's to be admired and also quite thoughtful of you. With some things in life, just get 'through it' and count on the times you do cherish, a time that you, your family can really enjoy having...then again, one might wonder if your mother is a 'lonely' person and can't do without having some sort of 'control' with someone?

Anyhow...have a pleasant b-day party, get through it...it's for your precious little one, not for your mother or anyone else...but what you're doing is for your mother's sake. Also, have a great and wonderful celebration later this week! ;)

...and good luck too.
 
:hug: RainGurl ~

I am so sorry to hear about all this. I do know how you feel. Wonderin' how many children does your mom have includin' you ?

If, she has more than one children, why don't she ask her own children to split their share to help her with money in every month ? Well, that's if her budget is tight.

I used to support my ex-mother inlaws and I supported her with her electric bill durin' winter time that she couldn't afford to pay. I helped payin' her from $ 50.00 to 100.00 per month until she felt somethin' was not right, so she decided to call all her 6 children to come over and discussed about her situation. All of her 6 children helped her by payin' 1/6th of each in every month. Each of them pay $ 20.00. That's over $ 100.00 per month. After they agreed to do that to help their mother, I stepped down. I focused on my 4 small children at that time after they agreed to take care of their own mother.

Soo, wonderin' if there's a possible that you and your other siblings ( that's if you have more than one siblin' ) can help her with somethin' like this ? That will help to keep the mother's mouth shut and quit whinin'. Just suggestion. :)
 
Well she works, and she shouldn't be depending on her child for financial support. I have 3 kids to raise and how is that fair that they would have to go without because I need to support her when she is capable of working? She just chooses not to be responsible about her money?
 
RainGurl said:
Only me! Don't you feel sorry for me now? LOL :gigglin:
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Aw dang ! Now, I feel sorry for you. Gee - unbelievable, RainGurl ! *thud*
 
How do you feel WHAT IF your mother dies/passes away today ???

This can be frustrating.
Please do accept and love her no matter what.

I would NEVER tell my mother "you owe me some $$ back"
because she already raised me for many years.

Hope you will learn to accept the way she is.
Do you agree that your Mother deserves to be
treated like a Queen with honor ?
 
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