Is that question really offend you?

Sheeeesh! nothing wrong with that question! Ive had people ask me the same questions...will tell you this funny story one time...This guy i met at work was talking to me about problems with the paperwork and he noticed that i was looking at his lips and he got unnerved i guess, cuz he said, "why are you looking at my lips, you wanna kiss me?" I cracked up and laughed so hard, couldnt even say anything..finally i said "No way, Jose do i want to kiss you, eww and for your info, i was READING your lips" He was like :confused: and then i told him that im hearing impaired..he didnt say a word and left! Never saw him again..sheeesh! me thinks hes afraid of the deaf people LOL! I dont give a shyt if he is!!
 
From the past- labels: Deafie/Hearie.
Some things never change it seems!
 
Let's say that I've a car with turbocharged engine. Someone asks, you're driving slow. DO you really want to own a car with turbocharged engine?? Think about it. You'll be offended if someone asked you a question like it.

I don't get offended if people ask if I'm deaf or not. Just be careful about the context you ask it in.
 
When someone asked me if I'm born deaf or hearing. I made frankly answer that It's unknown. They piss off and walk off on me without me to explain that I'm adopted.
 
Lasza said:
I have a few question for you all. Happened to meet a guy last friday at Deaf Coffechat in Denver area. Somehow, I recognized new face. Thought I like to meet that guy. We introduced and chatted. Notice he's in very good taste in clothes that look like high class and foreginer to me. Not sure if he is deaf or hearing because of his sign language style (not strong ASL to me). So, why not i ask him a question. Asked him if he's deaf or hearing. End up, he doesnt like my question at all. ofc, he gave me his rotten attitude with his bluntly comment.

Is that question "Are you deaf or hearing?" offend you?


Have u expereince like this before?
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It is impossible to say if this was offensives or not as I have no idea HOW you asked the guy if he was deaf or hearing. And it does not matter what other people think as the guy is entitle to his feeling! And is should be respected. And I think the guy was right to be offensives as look what you're , you're talking about him behind his back.
 
Well, I can see some deafies getting offended by someone asking or even telling them...are you deaf or hearing?...or you're hearing!....

I went to a deafie dinner once, and was chatting with 3 other deafies along with my boys....this lady walked up with several of her friends and said..."You're Hearing"!...not a question, but a statement!...So, yes, it offended me. She sort of "flipped me off" and I had to explain myself...It made me feel as if I was not welcome at the dinner.

So before asking someone if they are deaf or hearing, I would just strike up a conversation with them first (if I were interested)....
 
That question doesn't offend me, but sometimes I wonder how people throw it at someone, like making a statement, not waiting for the answer, etc.
Meeting new people I do ask this question, but I just ask if they are deaf. Yes, then I sign at a normal speed (well for me a normal speed). If the person is HOH then I sometimes ask if he/she signs. If they are not that fluent I sign a bit slower or match my word order a bit. Well if they don't sign and at least try I use my voice.
The thing is, some might be offended when you think their signing skills aren't that good. I don't want that to happen, especially when it is a hearing person trying to learn.
 
No, it doesn't offend me at all. Many times, I had Deaf people asking me if I am HOh or Oralie Deaf, I told them no I am Deaf. Because I move my lips a lot including my voice-on while I use PSE. But there are other questions that is non-related to deaf issue being asked I felt offended and sometimes had to be blunt to them directly.
 
I've never been offended by that question either. I think anyone who was offended has issues. I mean whether or not someone is deaf is important information.

That said, I will admit I've experienced a couple of times where someone asked me that and the tone it was asked in was offensive. It was more of an attitude thing than really wanting to know if I was deaf or hearing, and it was usually in response to my comments on observations of deaf vs hearing people. So it was more of "What do you know anyway" kind of attitude. THAT was offensive.
 
Lasza said:
I have a few question for you all. Happened to meet a guy last friday at Deaf Coffechat in Denver area. Somehow, I recognized new face. Thought I like to meet that guy. We introduced and chatted. Notice he's in very good taste in clothes that look like high class and foreginer to me. Not sure if he is deaf or hearing because of his sign language style (not strong ASL to me). So, why not i ask him a question. Asked him if he's deaf or hearing. End up, he doesnt like my question at all. ofc, he gave me his rotten attitude with his bluntly comment.

Is that question "Are you deaf or hearing?" offend you?


Have u expereince like this before?
Click to expand...


I'm not offended by the question, however if you just walked up to the person and the very first thing you asked was "are you deaf or hearing" that would be rather rude.

There are fairly well established ways of correctly introducing yourself in ASL and to get to know a new group of people - of course most of the time part of one's intro includes is they are hearing, hoh or deaf as part of the overall person's background (especially since many people mention they Deaf School ties - or that they were mainstreamed etc in their formal intro.)

That being said context is important. If someone I didn't know walked up to me (espeically if they were a hearing ASL student etc) started chatting for a few mins and then basically out of the blue said "are you deaf or hearing?" that could definitely be taking the wrong way - sort of like "I'm suppose to meet deaf people, so if you're not deaf, I need to find someone else to talk to"

Also, there are a LOT of us who are hoh/Deaf who didn't have the benefit of an ASL environment when we were younger, and there are even more who've become Hoh/d/Deaf as adults and are still learning ASL ... so I wouldn't presume that just because someone isn't a skilled signer that they aren't Hoh/deaf, or that someone who looks naturally fluent isn't hearing.
 
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:lol:Isn't that the #1 deaf culture introduction question? I thought my first ASL teacher was exaggerating when he described the "interrogation" :)lol:) new people get from deafies they meet.

But it's true.

Who are you? Deaf or hearing? (OMG, I love it when people ask if I'm deaf...like my signing looks that good?!?) Are you an interpreter? Where did you learn to sign? (My former teacher/current co-worker is well-known around here) Oh, you know him!

Then move on to "normal" conversation topics. Now I'm used to it, but at first it did feel like a bit of an interview, like it was a test I had to pass.

Maybe the guy from OP's group was new to the concept of the dynamic of interacting with deaf people. OP wrote that the signing seemed not totally fluent. Many language classes (of any language) teach ABOUT the culture and language, without giving the students the chance to actually EXPERIENCE it, especially in the beginning levels. I always try to assume people are good and just clueless, which might fit here.
 
kellycat said:
:lol:Isn't that the #1 deaf culture introduction question? I thought my first ASL teacher was exaggerating when he described the "interrogation" :)lol:) new people get from deafies they meet.

But it's true.
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LOL- yes. It is a little surprising at first.


FWIW, when a deaf person asks if I am deaf, I always assume that is just a polite way of saying, "You're obviously hearing, right?"
 
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