Is it wrong?

A

animenerd8895

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So, I recently started learning ASL, and I am planning on taking all of the ASL classes in my university. I am getting better at the language and really love it and the deaf people I have met.
I love it all so much that I would love to meet and date a Deaf guy. Is it wrong to have a preference like that? Or is it offense? I don't mean for it to be. I find Deaf culture extremely unique and interesting.
 
I personally think it isn't wrong. Heck, I'm going to commend you on your fantastic taste in men. ;)

A healthy relationship is about authenticity, and if you make sure that you're dating a Deaf guy because you *like* him (and the Deaf-ninjutsu is just an extra bonus), I say thumbs up.
 
Deaf people have baggage just like everyone else does.
 
animenerd8895 said:
So, I recently started learning ASL, and I am planning on taking all of the ASL classes in my university. I am getting better at the language and really love it and the deaf people I have met.
I love it all so much that I would love to meet and date a Deaf guy. Is it wrong to have a preference like that? Or is it offense? I don't mean for it to be. I find Deaf culture extremely unique and interesting.
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To be honest... I get weirded out when people are attracted to me either for friendship or more based on the fact I am deaf... But that is my issue... I know people that think it is cool and all and the fact you are going to class thus learning language and culture is a good thing... I am coming to grips with people saying deaf chick? Cool!!! And attach to me on that reason... But it is not much different than being attracted to a specific accent, body type, hair color, or even skill set... We all have our own "type" none are wrong so long as everyone is consenting adults... Have fun :D
 
I could see why a deaf person would seek another deaf person because they would share a language and other things but a hearing person looking for a deaf person seems like they are romanticizing something other than who the person is.

That's not to say deaf and hearing people don't fall in love. It's like saying "I would like to date a japanise girl" because you like martial arts.
 
Same

animenerd8895 said:
So, I recently started learning ASL, and I am planning on taking all of the ASL classes in my university. I am getting better at the language and really love it and the deaf people I have met.
I love it all so much that I would love to meet and date a Deaf guy. Is it wrong to have a preference like that? Or is it offense? I don't mean for it to be. I find Deaf culture extremely unique and interesting.
Click to expand...

I don't think it's wrong I feel the same way myself. :) I just would be happy with a good man, hearing deaf it doesn't matter. Learning ASL has been super fun and if I happened to meet a deaf man whom I had things incommon with that would be alright but dating in general sucks and is kinda scary.
 
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Yes I think it's wrong to expect a person to made your life feel "unique and interesting " . This is something you need to do for yourself , a relationship is not going to work if expect a person to made you feel alive.
 
It does not matter if it is right or wrong. One thing that bother me is most hearing young woman or man would want to date d/Deaf man or woman like being romantic and thought how wonderful that you can sign ASL with him or her and then try to make the Deaf person to become like you.

You expect him or her to wearing hearing aid(s) or CI (Cochlear Implant) and also expect him or her to speak to you. Another thing is you should not make decisions for him or her. He or she can handle himself or herself making the decisions on his or her own. He or she is not helpless or think he or she is baby. Don't do that. Carry on with ASL with him or her. They need ASL very badly and if you have the skill to sign with him or her, then you can communicate with him or her. Just don't jump overboard and try to "fix" him or her. You have to accept them the way he or she is and that is his or her perspective. Don't change or "fix" him or her. That is it.
 
jonnyghost said:
I could see why a deaf person would seek another deaf person because they would share a language and other things but a hearing person looking for a deaf person seems like they are romanticizing something other than who the person is.

That's not to say deaf and hearing people don't fall in love. It's like saying "I would like to date a japanise girl" because you like martial arts.
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One reason why I married my black hubby is that I could have biracial children. It worked!

(just kidding)
 
I think you should not actively look for a deaf or HoH man to date. I sign when I am at home and the only reason I can is because my husband took the last 3 1/2 years to learn asl. He knew non before meeting me. He is also HoH but asl was something he had never thought of learning. So a person doesn't have to be deaf or HoH to learn the language. Also being with someone who is deaf 24/7 when you are born and raised hearing is hard. He will have deaf friends, most likely family. Family events on both sides will be hard. When you get frustrated and don't know a word it's not like you can start talking, vocally. Or being in different rooms, you can't yell from room to room. Just some things to think about.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using AllDeaf App mobile app
 
On the flip side I know of a deaf woman (actually deaf-blind...) who is now wanting/wishing to have a relationship with a hearing (or HOH "in a pinch...") guy. Which is odd considering she married deaf guys and for the most part mingles in deaf/ASL circles. There's more to that story but I'll leave it at that.

I wouldn't actively go looking... just continue with learning ASL, going to events etc.. who knows you may find somebody that way-- deaf or hearing for that matter. What matters is the whole package- liking same (or similar things), ease in talking with the person, wanting to be with them. Do what works for you but remember not to make the other person uncomfortable either.
 
A lot of you brought up great points that made me think.

I see what some of you mean about the fetishism/romanticizing. You made me think it ultimately goes back to love.

When you're really, truly in love with someone it really doesn't matter whether they're Deaf or not. Love is love, the rest is just beer and football.
 
Us Deaf guys, love hearie chicks....
Go for it girl.....

There is a Deafie wating for you..
Have fun...
 
hoichi said:
Us Deaf guys, love hearie chicks....
Go for it girl.....

There is a Deafie wating for you..
Have fun...
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But not for the long haul.

He means use you and lose you.

That's actually a huge problem for young starry eyed hearing women.

It is very common.
 
Personal opinion but I think it unhealthy to pick one section of society just because you can ..You heading for heart break.ASL is entertainment a hobby for you it not for him it life for him..Also deaf or hearing a guy is a guy and you will get a name very quickly if only deaf guy you want they be que and not be for your signing skills
 
You send message out available only deaf guys.a guy is a guy..you really asking for trouble.I think you in love with ASL and more to communication than that.
 
Deaf culture can be unique and interesting at times, yet other times it's not. Especially when drama is involved. There's bound to be people who lie to you, stab you in the back, or finding ways to get you in trouble. That's when you have to be REAL careful who you trust. When I'm around a lot of deaf people, I only keep myself basic and kept a lot of things to myself until that person really earns my trust to know more about me. So yea, when you are around deaf people, just be careful who you talk to and who you can trust.
 
There are deaf chat dating forums but I be carefull.
 
I would love to have a hearing woman. You see, I'm always in danger every time I get bitten by cats. I can't use my voice. Cats don't know ASL. If a hearing person wants to bridge this gap, they'll need to demonstrate knowledge of surviving dangerous biting cats.
 
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