Is It Appropriate To .....

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Angel

♥"Concrete Angel"♥
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ask for money instead of gifts by writting it on the birthday or wedding invitations by letting your friends or families know what you prefer to get?...OR is it unappropriate to do that as being rude?...
 
well when it was close to my wedding day people ask me what I wants wedding gift i told them money they say ok , When they ask you about wedding gift just say what you wants
 
I think its appropriate to let them know you prefer money than gifts. I asked for gift cards or money for my "wedding"
 
For the wedding if I got doesnt matter gifts or money what I need in somehow :) and for birthday still doesnt matter money or gifts love to surpised lol :lol:
 
I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting money for a wedding gift instead of gifts. Most people honor your wishes its your day!
 
It is being common that alot of people prefer money or vouchers instead of gift these days. Been to few weddings and most have prefer money so i dont think it really matter as long it is mentioned in the wedding invitation of what u really want makes it more appropriate.
 
Awesome, Thanks girls, this really helps....
 
Yes I'm with all of you here. What you wish should be fulfulling.

I know most people prefer money over gift.

This is your wedding wishes - make wedding list or collect money from guests.

I can understand how you feel unsure either it's rude or not to ask people for money. I has the same feeling as you but I'm glad that you create a thread here for us to learn where we come from.

To my opinion, I do not feel like to put "money" on the card ... I feel odd and would consider "sort of rude" when I put "money" on the card... I know it's my wishes but I do something different to get the people's attention in nice way that I wish to collect the money instead of put "money" on the card.

I gave you an example what we did Invitation cards to friends to attend my hubby's 50th birthday in New Year Eve at 2 years ago.

I added my hubby's birthday wishes in invitation card...

"My birthday wishes is Mountain bike".

Friends and relatives know straight way that my hubby want to collect money to buy mountain bike. He collect money to fulfill his wishes.

We often do with Invitation cards without write "money" in card in past years.

You can add your wedding wish in invitation card...then we will know that you want to collect money to fulfill your dream wish.

That's all what I have in my opinion.
 
I understand where you're coming from Liebling, so if I were to put "collect money for a honeymoon ", instead of just putting " money " on the invitations ?
 
You can buy money box with a locks. All it is a box with slots wide enough to enveloped cards put in.
 
Personally, I wouldn't ask for anything or expect anyone to get me anything if I invited them to my birthday or wedding, but if they ask what I want and insist on getting me anything, I would just say money is fine. But that's just me. ;)
 
Angel said:
ask for money instead of gifts by writting it on the birthday or wedding invitations by letting your friends or families know what you prefer to get?...OR is it unappropriate to do that as being rude?...
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Invitations should have NO mention of gifts or money. That is bad taste. Invitations are just invitations. Gifts are not required, and should never be mentioned.
 
Reba said:
Invitations should have NO mention of gifts or money. That is bad taste. Invitations are just invitations. Gifts are not required, and should never be mentioned.
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I agree. It should never be mentioned.
 
Isn't rude to asking... IMO for Wedding always there gifts or money depends people who bring the money or gifts either way.

If you willing tell them everyone, Prefer money.. They'll understand and assumption that you're planned this money goes for your honeymoon or buying your new things stuff in your house..
 
It's never OK to ask for gifts of any type. Presents are a custom, not a requirement. It is impolite to assume that your guests would give you gifts so, to include "no gifts please" within your wedding invitation would not be proper. As we have responded many times before... the best way to 'get the word out about your money tree' is through friends and family, or a private wedding web site.


Regarding the money tree...in my opinion this is a bit tacky and could cause a guest to be embarassed if they hadn't heard about the tree, don't care to give money, or if they feel pressured to give more since other guests will see what they are adding to the money tree. I would discard this idea and replace it with a gift registry and/or a honeymoon registry, passing the word about the registries through family and friends or if directly asked. The bridal shower invitation could include the gift registry since showers are considered a gift giving event.
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No Gifts Please. Money Tree

It is never polite to ask for money, so, this is why you are having a difficult time wording your card. I don't know where you read that inserting gift information into the invitation is proper - it isn't. You will have to spread the word around that you have all you need.
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Wedding Gifts: Asking for Money
From Nina Callaway,

Is There a Polite Way to Ask for Money Instead of Wedding Gifts?

Once upon a time, a newly married couple needed wedding gifts and bridal showers to set up their household. But in today's culture, with the average marrying age rising, many people have already established households before they get married. Some people may feel that the last thing they need is more stuff. In fact, the most frequent question I am asked by brides and grooms is "How do we let guests know that we'd prefer money rather than wedding gifts?" And who can blame them? Most of these couples are trying to pay for their wedding themselves, and the idea of money for a honeymoon, down payment on a house or simply some spending cash can be a lot more appealing than a second (or third!) toaster. So what is the polite way of asking for money instead of wedding gifts? Is there one?

Wedding Invitations and the Sticky Subject of Money

Although some couples have come up with creative ways to ask for gifts, money, or charitable donations on their wedding invitations, the truth of the matter is that doing so is rude.

Wedding gifts of any kind should never be mentioned on an invitation or even sent with the invitation; to do so implies that a guest is required to give you a present. A wedding invitation should simply convey that you would like someone to be there at a very special occasion.

So, How Do You Let Guests Know?

Many guests will ask the members of the bridal party and your immediate family for your registry information. The easiest thing for these people to reply is "They're registered at WeddingGeeGaws, but I also know they are saving for a down payment on a house." Hopefully if you know someone well enough to have them in your wedding party, you can be honest with them about your hopes for wedding gifts.
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Wedding Gifts: Asking for Money - Is There a Polite Way to Ask for Money Instead of Wedding Gifts?
 
Angel said:
I understand where you're coming from Liebling, so if I were to put "collect money for a honeymoon ", instead of just putting " money " on the invitations ?
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No, I would not add like this...

I would add something nice in the invitation card like this... It's just my idea to put like this instead of add "money" on the card but you can pick something different than my suggestion.

This is my suggestion but I feel that my suggestion is rather too long to fix invitation card... You can pick some of my suggestion to make short one.

Our passion wishes to begin our new life together with gift of dream honeymoon. The gift of our dream honeymoon is one of the most appreciate gifts to fulfill our wonderful memories. We'll love to treat ourselves to order cocktails and relaxing after months of wedding preparation than have household items to improve our home.

OR

You don't have to give us gifts because we invite you to attend our wedding. Please don't break your head what should you give us gifts because we have everything in my house. We are happy with our old household items (vase, pots, glasses, bowls, etc.) and do not need to re-new our household items.

It will get people attention that you want to collect money to fulfill your dream wish. This is your decision... You can pick something to make short in invitation card. ?

Disagree or Agree with my suggestion is welcome...
 
Reba said:
Invitations should have NO mention of gifts or money. That is bad taste. Invitations are just invitations. Gifts are not required, and should never be mentioned.
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Yes, my Dad and his wife advised me to not add something to get guest's attention like what you suggest here... They said that guests will ask me automatic for wedding list. Guess what, guests didn't... I received unwanted wedding gifts. Some guests ask my Dad & his wife what I wish for wedding. They answered "Money" and explained why we do not need to carry wedding gifts from England to live in Germany. They understood and enclosed money in card.... Some people didn't ask for our wedding list but give us unwanted gifts... some ask for wedding list... I know from my experience and can understand where Angel come from. I rather to honest what I really wish like what Angel did here.... but not put "money" on the card... It sound bit skeptical to add 'money' on the card. I would add something to make guests attention that we want to collect money to fulfill our wish.
 
Reba, accord your one of links in your post # 16

Although some couples have come up with creative ways to ask for gifts, money, or charitable donations on their wedding invitations, the truth of the matter is that doing so is rude.
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I respectfully disagree that it's rude to ask for gifts, money, donation etc... Everyone know it's automatic to give something when they receive an invitation. I rather to know what they want something from us than nothing, they feel disappoint. I'm agree that it's skeptical and sort of rude to add "money" on the card but write something different to get people attention.

I have seen a lot of Germans add "donation" (better say charity) to cancer fonds, AID fonds, children home, etc. on the newspaper instead of flowers when the people attend funerals. It's not just funerals but weddings, annivesary, birthdays parties as well...but they don't put "money" but coupon of donation address direct to charities. We have everything in our house then we add something to let them know that we do not need gifts to improve our household etc.

Its about honest. I like that way what Angel did... We should not listen my Dad & his wife in first place... *sigh* I appreciate very much when the people describe their wishes then their wishes will be fulfilling.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Yes, my Dad and his wife advised me to not add something to get guest's attention like what you suggest here... They said that guests will ask me automatic for wedding list. Guess what, guests didn't... I received unwanted wedding gifts.
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"Unwanted" wedding gifts!!!

I'm sorry, but that sounds like a very mercenary attitude. A wedding is not for getting gifts. A wedding is for sharing a most happy occasion with family and friends. An invitation is to invite people, not to request things. IF guests want to send gifts, that's fine. That's an extra blessing. But it's not required, and certainly never expected or requested.

A gift from the heart is never "unwanted".

Some guests ask my Dad & his wife what I wish for wedding. They answered "Money" and explained why we do not need to carry wedding gifts from England to live in Germany. They understood and enclosed money in card.... Some people didn't ask for our wedding list but give us unwanted gifts... some ask for wedding list... I know from my experience and can understand where Angel come from. I rather to honest what I really wish...
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If someone asks you or your parents what you want, then you can honestly answer them. That's fine. But it should never be included in the invitation. That is just greedy and rude.

... I would add something to make guests attention that we want to collect money to fulfill our wish.
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No way!
 
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