Insecurities about having children?

long story, I grew up oral deaf and as such, audist. It took me a long long time to get over how I was raised - those things get ingrained into your psyche and it takes a while to change your entire mindset.

I am trying to teach one of my sons now. The other one has moved out and far too busy to take ASL classes for he studies and works full time.

Ahh right I see, I'm sorry for asking, I was just curious

Wow, you have a grown son? You look so young! Lol
 
I was just learning ASL when my hearing daughter was born 14 years ago so I did use whatever signs I did with her but I made a fatal mistake. I used my voice while signing with her. Now, she is not fluent in ASL. 8 years later, my son was born and I had became fluent in ASL and learned my mistakes. I kept both languages seprate...ASL with voice off, English with no signing. My son is now 6 and fluent in both languages. We can communicate at ease.

I would do the same if I had deaf children.
ASL / BSL mixed with English tend to confuse me, because the structures of the sentences are different, but I imagined you'd get used to it, I'll make sure to keep them seperate
I'm glad you and your son can communicate at ease :) he sounds like a very smart 6 year old! Hehe
 
It would crush me if my children went through the same as I. I don't believe I'll ever have children, but I have thought about it a lot.

I understand, honestly I'm not sure either, I might adopt when the time comes, I'll go through options later in life I'm sure
 
You said that you are the only deaf kid so why do they think you can't have hearing kids? It sounds like that your deafness is not genetic. Both deaf and hearing babies can pick up sign language. Just show the glass of milk (or any object) and sign 'milk' (or the sign for the object you showed) and they will get it. Show action and sign the word for it.

If you have a deaf voice, don't use your voice. Make sure your family speak to the baby often. I know a deaf guy whose oldest child needed speech therapy because she picked up her parents' deaf voices.

Ah, sorry, I class my family as my mothers side, and all of her family are hearing. My "dads" side however are all deaf from birth. He was told he couldn't have hearing kids, and I'm the result, the confusion is I was hearing at first.
I can't speak to my "dads" side of the family, as I'm not in contact with them and they're not the type of people you'd want to be in contact with. And my "dad" recently passed away so there's no chance of speaking to him.

Wow, I don't think I have a deaf voice, people tell me I speak as I always have done, but on some words I tend to get a slight lisp since going deaf and I have no idea why :\
 
I was saying the doctor could be wrong , your child may not be deaf. Doctors are not always right!

True, you should always get several opinions, or ignore it all together lol I believe sometimes the doctors can't exactly predict fate
 
It sounds like you don't know any deaf families. In the deaf community, there are moms. They have kids and take care of them. You need to see this so that you have a role model. I recommend that you get involved with the deaf community. It will give you a lot of confidence. Once you see these families, you'll think I can do that!

Don't believe the doctors. Doctors told me that I'd never have kids and I have 2.

There's a deaf woman who lives near me, and she has two hearing children, and they sign fluently to her but speak to others, I only see them from time to time and I can't speak to the mother properly so the children have to tell me what she says and then tell her what I say, when I become more fluent in BSL I'd love to be more involved with deaf families and deaf people, it's one of my goals :)
Thank you for the advice
And aww, that's fantastic! :)
 
I knew a woman that was hearing and she learned sign language as she wanted to know how to do it. When she got married she had a baby girl that was born deaf. No one in her famliy was HOH or deaf ,but she was happy that she knew how to use sign language and was able to teach her daughter it . The mother just felt that she should learn sign language as she never knew when she would need to use.
It's odd how she learned sign language and then had a deaf daughter, my sister started to learn how to sign and they I became deaf, maybe it's a nudge into the unknown lol
My sister doesn't sign anymore though and has forgot the majority of what she learned, or I'd ask her to help me
 
I don't have any children and I only have a little hearing loss so far, but I wanted to add two things here:

1. Hearing parents are starting to teach "baby signs" to their very young, hearing children. It gives them a headstart in developing the language centers in their brains. The babies who use simple signs are able to communicate at any earlier age and do better with all types of language later in their childhood and throughout theirs lives. It baffles me that parents of the old school thought that teaching ASL was a threat to the kids learning other languages like English. The more (and earlier-learned) language skills, the better developed the brain becomes and it increases the ability to learn new language skills. Anyway, "baby sign" is not taught using verbal explanations because the baby doesn't know English yet. So you would not need to.worry about difficulty teaching a deaf baby to sign. They learn by watching, associating, and repeating.

2. The other thing I wanted to add is a suggestion that you talk to a CODA when you get closer to deciding about having kids.
 
I don't have any children and I only have a little hearing loss so far, but I wanted to add two things here:

1. Hearing parents are starting to teach "baby signs" to their very young, hearing children. It gives them a headstart in developing the language centers in their brains. The babies who use simple signs are able to communicate at any earlier age and do better with all types of language later in their childhood and throughout theirs lives. It baffles me that parents of the old school thought that teaching ASL was a threat to the kids learning other languages like English. The more (and earlier-learned) language skills, the better developed the brain becomes and it increases the ability to learn new language skills. Anyway, "baby sign" is not taught using verbal explanations because the baby doesn't know English yet. So you would not need to.worry about difficulty teaching a deaf baby to sign. They learn by watching, associating, and repeating.


2. The other thing I wanted to add is a suggestion that you talk to a CODA when you get closer to deciding about having kids.
Huh, you learn something new every day eh? Lol, thanks for sharing
 
Mothers

I am a hearie n my son is hearing impaired. I taught him to sign. It isn't like teaching its like speaking naturally. We speak bengalí as a primary language n i began signing to them before he became hoh. Luv doesnt care how u communicate as long as u do it wiyh luv.;-)
 
This is something I have struggled with myself, although, I don't see myself having children anymore. I think part of the fear is not wanting your own kids to go through what you have gone through, it's harder for us.

It's a tough situation and I don't think anyone feels good about it, you are always going to be thinking of your own life experiences. But, the truth is, your child's life will not be the same as your own, that's the reality.
 
I never worried about if I will have deaf children or not. If my children were deaf, I would teach them what I wasnt allowed to be taught. To be proud of being deaf, learn ASL and get involved with a large Deaf community. I would NEVER mainstream my deaf children.
 
Hi Krissy,

Well I think the dr's could be wrong. I am hearing and have a hearing almost 17yr old daughter and a 10 month old hoh daughter. She has a progressive hearing loss. I am taking ASL classes and she is in classes also. We teach her sign by showing her something and doing the sign along with it. She has adapted well but then again that is all she has known.
 
This is something I have struggled with myself, although, I don't see myself having children anymore. I think part of the fear is not wanting your own kids to go through what you have gone through, it's harder for us.

It's a tough situation and I don't think anyone feels good about it, you are always going to be thinking of your own life experiences. But, the truth is, your child's life will not be the same as your own, that's the reality.
That's true, but it's hard to stop thinking the way that you do.
I'm going to try and stop thinking about it until the time comes that I really want children and when I could provide properly for a child.

I never worried about if I will have deaf children or not. If my children were deaf, I would teach them what I wasnt allowed to be taught. To be proud of being deaf, learn ASL and get involved with a large Deaf community. I would NEVER mainstream my deaf children.
It must be really hard to go to a mainstream school being deaf. When I went deaf I basically stopped going to school, which wrecked my grades but I don't really know what it'd be like to go through mainsteam school every day.
I just remember the odd day when I was there, getting everything wrong, not being able to do the work and not understanding what people said to me, which they'd tease me about, but I couldn't even hear the mean things they were saying about me.

I am a hearie n my son is hearing impaired. I taught him to sign. It isn't like teaching its like speaking naturally. We speak bengalí as a primary language n i began signing to them before he became hoh. Luv doesnt care how u communicate as long as u do it wiyh luv.;-)
Aww that's so sweet :)

Hi Krissy,

Well I think the dr's could be wrong. I am hearing and have a hearing almost 17yr old daughter and a 10 month old hoh daughter. She has a progressive hearing loss. I am taking ASL classes and she is in classes also. We teach her sign by showing her something and doing the sign along with it. She has adapted well but then again that is all she has known.
Yeah, doctors are wrong a lot lol
I think it's fantastic that you're taking ASL classes, a lot of parents don't feel the need to, which is upsetting
 
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