Informing people you read lips

lumbingmi said:
Why re u worrying about what others think of you? If you feel u can understand hearings by lipreading then power to you.

I hate to lipread because of confusion or missing words. I use my sk3 to communicate with hearings whenever I dont have pen/paper presented.
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ummmm....did you read the thread?

Here let me repeat to you.

Here's what deafdave3 said:

If you tell people that you are deaf and you need to read lips, that gives them the impression that all deaf people read lips. Therefore, hearies will start to expect deafies to read lips.

The best thing to do is use paper and pencil to communicate.
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Did my original post EVER said anything about having trouble to communicate lipreading?

Why did he have to tell me to use pen and paper? I never said I had trouble lipreading.

Here's what I am thinking exactly what JennyB said:

If you can speech read, why not? That is like saying if you use a pen and paper to communicate hearing people will assume that no deaf people can speak. It is also like saying you shouldn't use ASL to communicate because then all hearing people think all deaf people sign. It is just no good logic.
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There's nothing that bothers me. It's offensive. It's the fact that deafdave3 was practically telling me to not speechread but use pen and paper.

By the way, I didn't talk nothing about having communication issues. Read my original post.

I was sharing my experience and looking for others alike as well, but I wasn't looking for a post practically telling me to not speech read but use pen and paper. That makes no sense whatsoever! Many deaf people speech read. That oughta be offensive to tell them not to speech read but use pen and paper instead.

Would you like it I tell you to stop using pen and paper and use speech reading :hmm:?
 
Huh? I never said you should drop your lipreading skills and use pen/paper. Read carefully please.

I always have hearings ask me with big mouth moving, CAN YOU LIPREADING? I would sign back, CAN YOU UNDERSTAND MY HANDS?
 
Huh? I never said you should drop your lipreading skills and use pen/paper. Read carefully please.
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Read again. No, it wasn't YOU. It was deafdave3. He said that. Here it is again:

If you tell people that you are deaf and you need to read lips, that gives them the impression that all deaf people read lips. Therefore, hearies will start to expect deafies to read lips.

The best thing to do is use paper and pencil to communicate.
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I always have hearings ask me with big mouth moving, CAN YOU LIPREADING? I would sign back, CAN YOU UNDERSTAND MY HANDS?
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You know I tell people that I read lips, but I will get those people that will respond, "DO YOU SIGN?" They don't know enough signs to communicate, so I am like, "JUST T-A-L-K."

I respect your way of communicating with hearing whether signs or pen and paper, that's why everyone's different. deafdave3 had no reason to tell me that I should use pen and paper just because he thinks everyone will start to wonder that deaf people should read lips as well. That is not true.

I tell people that I read lips, and they start signing like they know only they know "thank you" and that's it. People will not start to think deaf will read lips as deafdave3 thinks. Not in my experience.

People are ignorant. This also happens with people using a foreign language. If you speak Spanish all they know is "HOLA." Same with deaf people.
 
lumbingmi said:
Ah gotcha. Good for you.
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I dunno....maybe I am sensing a bit of sarcasm?

I don't know how this topic turned into talking about using pen and paper for someone who didn't say anything about having problems lipreading.

I guess no one has been in my situation of my original post or didn't care to post in.

deafdave3 came on with a Deaf Power attitude of not reading lips as I know the feelings of the Deaf culture. I thought this forum welcomed all deaf and hard of hearing people regardless of how they communicate.

My intention was never implying that oralist attitude about reading lips that I know some of you are sensitive to.

After years of being used to naturally reading lips as there are many and being told to use pen and paper (practically abandon reading lips), that's like WHOA. What's wrong with it if it works for you?

How would you have felt if I said to you that the best way to communicate is by reading lips?

If you want to talk about the negative side of reading lips, then the better suggestion would be to start another thread with that topic.
 
No I m not being sarcastic. I m saying whatever work for you then good for you. I have no problem with deaf people lipreading. Hell I have several deaf friends who do lipreading. I think other members are just being pissed off that hearing people have misconception of 'ALL' deaf pp have lipreading skills.

Take Marlee Martin for an example. MM's character is supposelly to be full deaf yet she always able to understand hearings 100 percent with only lipreading skills. Thus hearings assumed all deaf pp have lipread skills since deaf people still have eyes and can read lips with their eyes right?:hmm:
 
Clearsky, the point is that lipreading or speechreading is a very difficult for us to follow what the hearing person is saying and we end up using paper and pen to help us understand what the hearing person say. You said there are other deaf people who can lipread better which is not true. Only a few handful of deaf people can lipread without no problem but still it is easy to miss what the person say. It is not one hundred percent accurate for lipreading skills. I have tried lipreading every since I was in first grade when I was eight years old and here I am at 62 years old and I still have problem understanding what hearing people say. I have always use paper and pen to communicate with each other hearing and Deaf. I still prefer ASL. So if you can lipread a hearing person without no problem. Then it is really rare and good for you to have that lipreading skills.
 
I think other members are just being pissed off that hearing people have misconception of 'ALL' deaf pp have lipreading skills.
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I understand that deaf people vary in how much they can read lips, which is okay if you need to use pen and paper.

I never said that other deaf people read lips better. Where did I say that? I said that many other deaf read lips like I do to communicate. I said 100% clear communication because I can use lipreading to communicate. I am not saying that I can use lipreading perfectly in everything, but lipreading for me is not something I frown upon for my use.

I understand what you mean about Marlee Matlin and deaf characters put on tv like they lipread so well, but there's nothing I can do about that. I don't have the power to change television portrayal of deaf people, but I shouldn't have to feel ashamed or bad that lipreading is useful for me while it may not for others.

Television has a long way to go, and they only use a handful of deaf people rather than various deaf people to help the public understand that all deaf people are smart in the same way, but their communication way is different.

deafdave3 was wrong in advicing that pen and paper should be used for clear communication.

I shouldn't have to quit lipreading and use pen and paper just so I don't give the impression that other deaf people lipread alike. Why should I do this? Why should I conform to pen and paper just because it's not like it for other deaf persons? That's what deafdave3 said to use pen and paper so others don't start to think every deaf person read lips.
 
NEWIDME said:
I hate it when I tell people I read lips and they say, 'ok, what am I saying?' and mouth something as if I am a dog doing tricks!
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OMG! I hate that! Fortunately that happens very rarely to me and I've just rolled my eyes at them and make a disgusted face and walk away. Really, do they think we're deaf and stupid?

Aside from that, this is an interesting thread because it never really occurred to me to tell people I lipread. I do lipread, I'm very good at it and it's how I get by without paper/pen because I also speak well enough. I guess I assumed people figured it out for themselves that I was lipreading because I have had a few people tell me they noticed my eyes are a little more fixed on their lips than their whole face. (I've even had men tell me they thought that was erotic, but that's a whole 'nother story !!! LOL)
 
AlleyCat said:
OMG! I hate that! Fortunately that happens very rarely to me and I've just rolled my eyes at them and make a disgusted face and walk away. Really, do they think we're deaf and stupid?

Aside from that, this is an interesting thread because it never really occurred to me to tell people I lipread. I do lipread, I'm very good at it and it's how I get by without paper/pen because I also speak well enough. I guess I assumed people figured it out for themselves that I was lipreading because I have had a few people tell me they noticed my eyes are a little more fixed on their lips than their whole face. (I've even had men tell me they thought that was erotic, but that's a whole 'nother story !!! LOL)
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They're just testing you.

Usually, when they ask me that, I answer wrong but smart.

Like this, "Hey, What am I saying?" said a boy.

"I like my dad's penis." said I.
 
AlleyCat said:
OMG! I hate that! Fortunately that happens very rarely to me and I've just rolled my eyes at them and make a disgusted face and walk away. Really, do they think we're deaf and stupid?

Aside from that, this is an interesting thread because it never really occurred to me to tell people I lipread. I do lipread, I'm very good at it and it's how I get by without paper/pen because I also speak well enough. I guess I assumed people figured it out for themselves that I was lipreading because I have had a few people tell me they noticed my eyes are a little more fixed on their lips than their whole face. (I've even had men tell me they thought that was erotic, but that's a whole 'nother story !!! LOL)
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Really? That's interesting.

I was taught to be assertive and inform people to face me to read lips. I sometimes have to because people don't always realize it and start to move around unable to see what they're saying. Or they will talk looking down.

Sometimes people do figure out that I read lips, but that doesn't happen a lot.

I have seen people wonder why I look at them so much (by looking at them) because I have observed that there are people that are used to not making eye contact. I think that isn't good manners or habits or whatever better words you want to use.

I have observed that there are many hearing people that are very good at just making sure they make eye contact. Facing people has nothing to do with not hearing others, and I think that hearing people are helped better by this. I have observed that this prevents people from mumbling and sound like they're talking to themselves. Of course, there are some (mostly teenagers) that face you, but they mumble. I think they are still growing up about sounding more confident, too.

There was one woman who said something really fast. I asked to repeat, she spoke the same way again. I said, could you slow down? She was like, never mind. I said, it'd help me if you slow down. She was like, never mind. Then she, repeated the question slower. It was clear as a bell! Her words weresoundinglikethis fast.

It's true that there are certain dirty men that probably think you have the hots for them or something :roll:.

Well, I guess it's all a different story for us. My intention was never to say that every deaf person can lipread. Whatever way you communicate is fine.
 
My dad has been the hardest person in the world to lipread because when he talks, somehow he opens his mouth facing down while the rest of his face faces forward. It's almost alien-looking, sorta freaks me out :giggle: Fortunately, he's finally learning to sign
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Sorry Babyface. I never thought you felt forced to read lips as some other might feel. Do what you want in your way if that's more comfortable for you. Every deaf person is different. Don't do it because you're forced, but I can understand if some family are not considerate of learning sign language or using pen/paper.

I know one man from a previous job that tried to think I wasn't smart when he was simply hard to understand. Using pen and paper wouldn't have made him think any different of me. He barely moved his lips, so I didn't care if I did not understand him. I think people sometimes try to turn their insecurities to you.

There's always a few people who will not cooperate, so we can't worry about educating the few that refuse to cooperate whether lipreading, pen/paper, sign language. They are either ignorant or insecure.
 
SimplyMints said:
My dad has been the hardest person in the world to lipread because when he talks, somehow he opens his mouth facing down while the rest of his face faces forward. It's almost alien-looking, sorta freaks me out :giggle: Fortunately, he's finally learning to sign
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Hey, at least thats better than facing the way Ace Ventura, Pet Detective likes to talk to people.

My parents are always seem patronizing with slow accentuated lip movements, some people just never get it or feel like what the "right thing" they should do with communication with dhh. Just take the good with the bad, be tolerant, and learn to understand the spirit as much as the lips.
 
I'm not very skill on lipreading. Just a little bit like basic. I will take a speech therapy before receive CI. I have to be patient to learn.

The hearing people always ask me if I can read lips? I said little a bit. They understand. They treated me very nice. They never be rude at me.

I am tired of write on pen and paper. It's very frustrate to me. I hate clutter the papers!!! I prefer use my BB to type. My all hearing friends and family have text messages with unlimited and typing share on my BB. I really hate to write a paper and pen!
 
Honestly I've never had any real problem. I work with the general public (or did, I just had a baby, so a SAHM for now). I usually don't say anything unless the person was mad I was "ignoring" her, or if the person keeps turning his head or covering his mouth. I can count on one hand the number of times someone, when finding out I am deaf, decided it wasn't worth the effort. That's not to say I haven't had to deal with people who are annoyed by my deafness (usually needlessly).

Most people are usually understanding. At least this has been my experience.
 
ClearSky said:
Really? That's interesting.

I was taught to be assertive and inform people to face me to read lips. I sometimes have to because people don't always realize it and start to move around unable to see what they're saying. Or they will talk looking down.

Sometimes people do figure out that I read lips, but that doesn't happen a lot.

Well, I guess it's all a different story for us. My intention was never to say that every deaf person can lipread. Whatever way you communicate is fine.
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ClearSky, I knew you were not saying every deaf person can lipread. I was only saying that I've never really found the need to tell people up-front that I'm lip-reading them. But every once in a while I do get someone who keeps walking away from me and I can't lipread them anymore, and in that case I do have to say something. I guess as long as that kind of situation isn't happening, then I just don't say anything, that's all .. Like you said, whatever form of communication each individual person needs is fine.
 
~♥~Pinky~♥~ said:
I'm not very skill on lipreading. Just a little bit like basic. I will take a speech therapy before receive CI. I have to be patient to learn.

The hearing people always ask me if I can read lips? I said little a bit. They understand. They treated me very nice. They never be rude at me.

I am tired of write on pen and paper. It's very frustrate to me. I hate clutter the papers!!! I prefer use my BB to type. My all hearing friends and family have text messages with unlimited and typing share on my BB. I really hate to write a paper and pen!
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I have had people tell me that watching TV (and really focusing on the actors' lips) helps them learn to lip-read and even to speak, because they can see how words should be formed. Just a thought for you until you are able to take your speech therapy, if it helps.
 
AlleyCat said:
I have had people tell me that watching TV (and really focusing on the actors' lips) helps them learn to lip-read and even to speak, because they can see how words should be formed. Just a thought for you until you are able to take your speech therapy, if it helps.
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Yeah, I notice actor's lips. Thank you for advice.
 
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