My son's Eulogy for Andrew for wake today at 2pm
Andy was a wonderful friend, a part of my family, and typically the
mediator in our household. If he wasn't working to pay the bills, odds are
you could find him watching football, napping in his chair, or quite
possibly doing something in between. When you talked to him, you knew he
was listening, which to me is a luxury and an unusual gift coming from a
deaf man. He kept the family together during the worst of times, and
during good times, he would share. More than anything he made my mother
happier than I had ever seen her in my whole entire life.
He had been with my mother for nearly a decade. Before he came around I
remember seeing my mother raise my brother and I literally hanging on
every last dime she could. I remember how lonely she was, and how it
seemed like there was this hole where you could see right through her.
Worse than that, there was an even larger rift between myself and my
mother. I remember when I first met Andy. I thought to myself "Who the
hell does this guy think he is?" I feel like a fool for saying it now but
it's true.
One Christmas we were looking at a very bleak time. Heating bills were
ridiculous, there was no way my brother or I could have gotten really
anything we wanted. During that time, Andy drove this really awful little
red car. I joked with him calling it the clown-mobile. Andy came into some
extra money that winter, and instead of spending it on himself getting a
car to replace the one that stuck out like TNT exploding in a snowstorm,
he used the money to buy gifts for the family. That's the kind of guy he
was. Sure, he wanted to win the lottery, and have money in his pocket; but
the only reason was so that he could give to the people he loved. He never
gave a damn about buying a Ferrari or owning a gold plated toilet seat.
His dreams were always pretty simple. Buy a house, help my brother and I
go to college, make my mother happy etc, etc, etc. Then again, I'm sure
Super bowl tickets wouldn't have hurt either.
I never understood Andy's fascination with football, nor really understood
football itself. Although, from time to time, it was always interesting to
simply sit on the couch just to see how animated he would be. Football was
a big part of his life. For the whole season, every single year, that was
what got him going. When it was over, he would already be ready to find
out who was the next big player, or which teams were doing what. I
remember many a late-night with him napping on his chair, and then waking
up in celebration over the score on the television.
During the hardest times of all, my mother and I would fight pretty much
non-stop about the most ridiculous issues you could think of.: Dishes,
hair dye stains in the bathroom, cheese's. Literally, the dumbest things
you could think of. Andy had a talent for stepping in and resolving these
things. Even more so, he did it in such a way where he wouldn't let you
actually know how stupid you were being. He didn't like making anyone feel
less about themselves even if they deserved it.
More than anything he made my mother happy. He accepted her exactly as she was, and accepted my family exactly as we were. More than that he grew with us, he lived with us, he became one of us. In a way I'd like to think
we became a part of him. We miss and love him as my Dad.