In-laws

^Angel^ said:
Wow I'm surprise my ex mother in law wasn't the only one....This happened when my first son was 2, I taught him basic sign language such as " mom " , " drink ", " food " etc, so that I can understand my own son without anyone telling me what he said, well I was so excited and had my 2 years old showed his grandmother what signs he knew, once he showed them to her, she looked at me with an attitude and said " why are you teaching your son sign language, he's not deaf!!! " and I was so shocked and speechless , didn't expect her to say this flat out like that, and then I said " well, I'm his mother, and I wanted to teach him sign language so I could commicate with him ", she rolled her eyes and then said " you can lip read " then she got up and walked away....I tried to hold my tears back and not letting this effect me personally, so I asked my ex husband I wanted to leave, he said " don't take everything so personal ".. *speechless* :(
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My mom did react that way at first when I announced that I was going to Gallaudet for grad school. She asked me why there? I said cuz I want to learn ASL and get a better understanding of deaf ed. She said that I dont need to learn ASL cuz I could read lips and speak well. After a while, she realized that it was something that I needed for my own personal growth and has accepted that I communicate mostly thru ASL. It was hard at first when she couldnt accept the fact that I needed to learn ASL. Wish hearing people can just accept that ASL is the only accessable language for deaf people!
 
Rest of my in laws relatives families are tend yak yak yak and left us out.. totally... I stood up and asked my hubby, Can we leave ? My hubby say, "Yes, sure why not and not happy them who left us out more." We were about time to leave somehow in laws stunned surprised us leaving.. asked why you're leaving so early not even ready the meal served.. My hubby did dare his speak it out straighten forward hard core against his parent... "Do you know why you rest of guys are mostly left us out too much every time we visit... and tired of it not willing communication w/us at all..."

My in laws relatives were upset and decide to WILLING communication w/us. Seems getting getting there improve little bit but needs spice up more!
 
^Angel^ said:
Umm...He's talking about avoid dating hearing people, and he's not shutting hearing people out, he can date whoever he wants...
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And....... I said you don't always have to avoid dating hearing people, Life is full of suprises!
 
i was married, i dont have plms with ex in laws, they talked me and i read lip and they do sign some.. so i do undy them...


now i have bf and i visited his family oftens and dont have plms cuz of his brother and sister signs too... they are hearing.. so most time i talk with his mom... smiles..
 
addicted2cpu said:
i guess its a good thing i aint got in laws, huh?
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Good for u. My husband and I sat down today and talked about this. He agreed and resepects my wishes for not going over there at the same time as he does and meeting up later. I am willing to do that for him every now and then. Got that resolved between both of us. He is going to have a talk with his family about my feelings. :)
 
How are things going with the inlaws, shel? Cool that u and hb see eye to eye about it now... !!
 
^Angel^ said:
Wow I'm surprise my ex mother in law wasn't the only one....This happened when my first son was 2, I taught him basic sign language such as " mom " , " drink ", " food " etc, so that I can understand my own son without anyone telling me what he said, well I was so excited and had my 2 years old showed his grandmother what signs he knew, once he showed them to her, she looked at me with an attitude and said " why are you teaching your son sign language, he's not deaf!!! " and I was so shocked and speechless , didn't expect her to say this flat out like that, and then I said " well, I'm his mother, and I wanted to teach him sign language so I could commicate with him ", she rolled her eyes and then said " you can lip read " then she got up and walked away....I tried to hold my tears back and not letting this effect me personally, so I asked my ex husband I wanted to leave, he said " don't take everything so personal ".. *speechless* :(
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do your kids regret learning asl? i thought not.. it's the best thing ever to be able to communicate in sl, regardless of what people say about reading pus.. I mean lips. Lips! And using voice. bet your kids are glad to be able to know what deaf people say when they are out on some event.. i know some hearing peeps would be freaked to not know what is being said. heh heh.
 
Yes and that's why this time I prefer dating a deaf guy or a hearing guy that knows ASL that comes from deaf family.

VamPyroX said:
That's one reason why I avoid dating a hearing person. They may sign a little, but signing isn't a big part of their life... so they forget to sign when they start talking.

I have hearing friends who sign a lot. They sign during spoken conversations with hearing people. So, I don't feel left out.
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It doesn't matter if the hearing person comes from a deaf family or not. Always give the person a chance, will be suprise.... I perfer hearing person and no the person doesn't have to know ASL. As long as the person understands me clearly. Thats what it all matters to me! Always give a person a chance before you go judging them. You might end up loving the hearing person. (even if he/she doesn't come from a deaf family.) Oh I believe that SOME of you are married to a hearing person..So.... Give the person a chance!
 
My MIL worked at the school I was teaching at so she knew a little bit of sign. (That's how John and I met) When John and I started dating, MIL took sign language classes so she could talk to me. She is still the only one other than my husband in his family who can sign with me... the others know just enough to catch me up if I get lost... I do think I am lucky because all of them know to speak slowly and look directly at me when talking, but of course they forget sometimes... LOL I still do get left out a lot. I will bring a book with me, or watch TV or go in the kitchen and find someone I can talk to (there is ALWAYS somebody in the kitchen!!). We started working on puzzles (HUGE) after eating as a family project and it is a lot of fun. MIL recently got me a brand new sewing machine and she is going to start teaching me how to use it (She has the same one at her house). So, I will probably bring a sewing project to work on when we go over there. I hope to become as good as she is at making stuff.

It is HARD being the ONLY deaf person in the family. UGH... John says sometimes he wishes he could just turn off his ears and have some quiet when we go to his parents. Hee, hee.
 
Even though I am totally Deaf myself...
I am little disappointed when many of you complained
about being left out Sigh....

I think that you need to understand that
many hearing families feel
"INSPIRED" that you show up there, no matter what !

This does NOT matter whether you feel left out
just like a Wallflower... If you still complain THEN,
you ought to bring a Microphone and
act/dance like a RocknRoll Star

Just enjoy the holiday spirits & food etc...
NO, these In-Laws do NOT have to know sign language !!!

Just be there for holiday spirits If you feel left out,
then go there and do something just ask question or
share a story or bring the Microphone with you to
get all the attention for yourself just like Miss Piggy....

The moral of this story: Attitude

:thumb:
 
Y said:
Even though I am totally Deaf myself...
I am little disappointed when many of you complained
about being left out Sigh....

I think that you need to understand that
many hearing families feel
"INSPIRED" that you show up there, no matter what !

This does NOT matter whether you feel left out
just like a Wallflower... If you still complain THEN,
you ought to bring a Microphone and
act/dance like a RocknRoll Star

Just enjoy the holiday spirits & food etc...
NO, these In-Laws do NOT have to know sign language !!!

Just be there for holiday spirits If you feel left out,
then go there and do something just ask question or
share a story or bring the Microphone with you to
get all the attention for yourself just like Miss Piggy....

The moral of this story: Attitude

:thumb:
Click to expand...

Usually I go to my in-laws with a good attitude but when everyone is laughing and having so much fun, I have no idea what they are saying and they do not make any effort to make sure I know what they are saying, then yea, it gets boring so after a few hours of being bored, I am ready to go home to do something else with my time. Nothing against them but I cant stay all day and be bored out of my mind. I guess I am just too restless and need to keep myself busy or entertained. I dont expect them to learn ASL but it would be nice. My husband tried to get his parents to learn and they said I can read lips and speak well enough so that is good enough for them. What they dont understand is that I CANT read everyone's lips at the same time when they are yapping away and that it is not good enough for ME! That is where my in-laws get the wrong assumption..they think I because I speak well therefore I can hear well enough...it seems like a hard concept for them to grasp. I am not gonna push it.

With my family, I have my deaf brother so most of the time we would end up chatting among ourselves but my family is pretty good in making sure we knew what everyone is saying some of the time.
 
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