I'm sorry

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kate2531

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Life with Autism is not easy and especially not raising two autistic children. I think I've probably offended people based on the responses to my assignment. Why don't I go out and talk to people? Well I have an Autism Spectrum disorder and two preschool autistic children. So all three of us have sensory integration problems, social issues, and new environments make me less functional. It's also hard because I don't see all the non verbal communication that goes on get subtle hints and have one friend who I met through my social skills class. Most people when they see me think I'm weird or slightly off and so decide I'm not worthwhile and when they do find out about my diagnosis think I'm mentally retarded. Which if I don't tell them they then think I'm weird and so work to get me fired, not included, and do all kinds of things which I NEVER see coming. I'm not and nor am I weird. I'm a good mother, a good student, a wife and I really honestly do care and I'm sorry I miss things sometimes but I try my best and that is all I can do. Now I think I have missed something and I'm sorry I had no idea how offensive these surveys would be construed as being.

I'm not ONE BIT sorry I have Autism I'm proud of who I am and going back to school has been so hard but so worth while. I want to help children with Autism because who better to understand then someone who grew up on the Spectrum. I also would like to learn sign language and have questions that are not canned and tired.
 
I do have autism too. Don't make excuses or manipulate for pity. Just read the threads and you find many exact same threads as your survey.

In the same order.
 
I already have the answers. I'm a bit upset because I've messed up yet again. No matter how hard I try it seems like there is always something that makes me mess up socially. I'm waiting to hear if I got into graduate school and it just seems like the assignments are really difficult. The disability resource center has told me social skills have nothing to do with Autism and they can't help me unless it is something clinical in terms of my diagnosis. One of my professors has told me to do something which I can't do despite years of trying. If I could read non verbal communication my life would be so much better and instead of understanding they told me to just "try harder" and not focus on me. I honestly am upset because I messed up socially again.....which just goes to show that I'm a failure. How on earth am I going to manage this if I can't even go on a forum without everyone being angry at me? My social skills are awful and just highlight how worthless I am in this area.

I'm going to disable this account as I have seriously messed up again.
 
You can't disable your account. You have it for life.

Use the forum to learn social skills if you don't have them. I am by no means the only autistic member here.
 
But just participate in normal threads. No one is interested in your autism. You can go to a general thread like "What are you thinking about" and post what you just made into a whole thread.
 
Forgot to mention, you seem really emotional if you are autistic. :hmm:
 
have had a lot of unexpected things in life lately and as you said nobody cares about me as a person or whatever problems I might be having.

I'm just another student.
 
kate2531 said:
have had a lot of unexpected things in life lately and as you said nobody cares about me as a person or whatever problems I might be having.

I'm just another student.
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We have a PhD psychologist here. Maybe she can give you some tips. I didn't say that either.

I said no one cares about your autism. Try to think and read.

And don't manipulate. Your first sentence is very manipulative.
 
I just read this. Please don't feel that no one cares. It is difficult to get tone and nuance across sometimes in writing. If you read through a variety of threads here you will see that by no means are you the only one who has "messed up," nor are you the only one who has been picked on or criticized.

I won't even get into "fairly or unfairly," but just suffice to say, I've never been on an on-line forum yet where there weren't disagreements, sometimes heated ones. Sometimes those disagreements are handled with respect for each other's position, even when the parties totally disagree on substance, and sometimes not, when disagrements end up getting into petty name-calling and so forth.

Please feel free to read whatever interests you and chime in with your opinion wherever you want. And please don't take disagreements personally; you have a right to your attitude, opinions, and feelings about your own experiences.
 
I work with 9 teenagers with different ranges of Autism/ASD/AS they all are very different with their disorders. I love working with them. It's rewarding to see them go off to college this july, I am going to miss them but will look forward to a new class this september.
 
Hey, I am young and I posted such stupid posts before! I learned my mistakes from it to grow out of it. Trust me, Kate, you can do it. Don't let your lack soical skill stop you from horning it! (horning means improve in case if you wondering.)
 
I just couldn't do it....I tried and tried to convince myself it would be ok to go and do these interviews. I thought maybe it would be ok to try it this way....but it offended people instead. I've stopped socializing because I make so many mistakes.

I posted and then people got offended b/c I went to the cochlear implant and hearing aide section. Why did I go to that section? Well the Professor of the class discussed the fact that a lot of people who are deaf use sign language and are proud of Deaf culture and do not like hearing aides or cochlear implants. So stupid of me huh? All my attempts at kindness or thinking of others fail. That's why I don't volunteer, why I don't join clubs, why I don't let people get close to me anymore socially. I give up.

So I sit in a corner and rock it's all ok at some point. I was thinking if I could succeed at this maybe I could try these things in real life....I don't need a psychologist I was told the first year of diagnosis is going to be the hardest...some days I'm fine others not so much. It's an adjustment because I'm slowly coming to terms with it that it's permanent and I'm seriously impaired. I'm sorry if this is so offensive...
 
kate2531 said:
I just couldn't do it....I tried and tried to convince myself it would be ok to go and do these interviews. I thought maybe it would be ok to try it this way....but it offended people instead. I've stopped socializing because I make so many mistakes.

I posted and then people got offended b/c I went to the cochlear implant and hearing aide section. Why did I go to that section? Well the Professor of the class discussed the fact that a lot of people who are deaf use sign language and are proud of Deaf culture and do not like hearing aides or cochlear implants. So stupid of me huh? All my attempts at kindness or thinking of others fail. That's why I don't volunteer, why I don't join clubs, why I don't let people get close to me anymore socially. I give up.

So I sit in a corner and rock it's all ok at some point. I was thinking if I could succeed at this maybe I could try these things in real life....I don't need a psychologist I was told the first year of diagnosis is going to be the hardest...some days I'm fine others not so much. It's an adjustment because I'm slowly coming to terms with it that it's permanent and I'm seriously impaired. I'm sorry if this is so offensive...
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I have had a diagnosis of autism since I was two years old.

It was a lot harder on my parents as apparently I spent my first five years mostly screaming.

It wasn't that hard on me. You really do need a psychologist to help you get over the idea that you are seriously impaired. You need to find strategies to cope.

I wish Jillio would get in this thread and talk to you.
 
kate2531 said:
have had a lot of unexpected things in life lately and as you said nobody cares about me as a person or whatever problems I might be having.

I'm just another student.
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kate2531, If you would like to talk about this, I will be happy to give you my email. And trust me, I care. I'm sorry that you are feeling so badly about yourself right now, but you can work through this tough spot and come out stronger on the other side. You really sound overwhelmed, and I am more than willing to help you through this. Just let me know what you want to do.:hug:
 
Bottesini said:
I have had a diagnosis of autism since I was two years old.

It was a lot harder on my parents as apparently I spent my first five years mostly screaming.

It wasn't that hard on me. You really do need a psychologist to help you get over the idea that you are seriously impaired. You need to find strategies to cope.

I wish Jillio would get in this thread and talk to you.
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Sorry for the delay, Bott, but I'm here now and have made an offer to kate. Thank you for sharing your personal experience with her.
 
Jillo
I think maybe that would be ok...today hasn't been a good day and my emotions are a mess because I messed up with my medication. I'm hoping in a few days things get better though....yes I am overwhelmed...and somewhat sensitized to social failures, being picked on(it's happened my entire life), and I never get nuances or tone and have a really really bad time reading people.
 
kate2531 said:
Jillo
I think maybe that would be ok...today hasn't been a good day and my emotions are a mess because I messed up with my medication. I'm hoping in a few days things get better though....yes I am overwhelmed...and somewhat sensitized to social failures, being picked on(it's happened my entire life), and I never get nuances or tone and have a really really bad time reading people.
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That is very understandable, and can be extremely frustrating when you are trying so hard to pick up on the cues and people get angry when you don't. I don't like to put my email on an open forum, but you don't have the number of posts to use PM yet. Let me give a hollar to one of the mods and see how we can work this out. Hang in there.

And anything you want to talk about here is fine with me. I just don't want to invade your privacy.
 
I am still trying to work out the way to get my email address to you. We will work something out.

I was reading your first post again, and realized that you are also raising 2 autistic preschoolers. I know its a hard job, but I also think "What a great thing!" Who can understand what your children are going through better than you can? You will be a bigger help to them as they grow and develop than any other mother I can think of.

I also think it is great that you are trying to make social connections. Too many people just give up. You are trying, and that is a positive thing. Sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to at first, but the good thing is that you are still trying. I see lots of strengths in you, and I haven't even really had a chance to talk with you yet!
 
She only needs to make 4 more posts and then can get PM.
 
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