I'm here for a friend

[Reba]

She can easily get a computer program that will speak out what she types. Since she can hear, the receptive part is no problem.

Many more people will understand her with that type program rather than ASL.

Since she is in college, I would think that if she wanted to take advantage of technology she would, especially thru the disabled students' department. From what the OP describes, she doesn't seem receptive to doing anything new or different related to her communication.

 

[caz12]

She can easily get a computer program that will speak out what she types. Since she can hear, the receptive part is no problem.

Many more people will understand her with that type program rather than ASL.

Steven Hawkins one example...signing not her way to go,in most cases i would say yes but not this lady althogh knowing a few would help but going into grammer syntax etc could make matters worse
this only opinion not advice a public forum not place get advice and seems odd

 

[Reba]

This isn't the first time someone has brought this kind of problem to AD.

http://www.alldeaf.com/our-world-our-culture/113447-mistaken-deaf.html

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I'm sorry if I offended you or I wasn't clear. I have no intention to force her into learning ASL, I am just concerned about her. Thank you for your help, and I do think I will try to learn a bit more myself about how to sign.

I do have one other question. Is it normal for people who are deaf or unable to speak to communicate in writing to people who don't know ASL? I know that sometimes people write notes when asking for things in a store, but is it a common thing to carry around a white board or a notebook to write messages to everyone?



It is not ongoing abuse, it was her mother's boyfriend when she was a baby. I don't think she ever really knew him, and he was sent to prison shortly after. I am not sure if she has had any counselling though, I really doubt she could afford it.

You need to think about what you said , just b/c the abuse has stopped it does not mean the emotional abuse is gone. I knew a woman that became deaf b/c her 'dad' picked her up by their feet as child and bash her head into
cast iron radiator . The abuse was not happen anymore but the woman never dated any men she could never trust a guy after what happen to her .
Emotional abuse can last a life time and long after the abuse has stop.

 

[Quwaz]

I'm sorry for not being clear. I may have said something wrong, I did not sleep when I wrote my last response so I don't think I made sense. Yes her vocal cords were damaged physically from what I have been told (I don't ask about specific details) but I do know that she physically can't speak.

She did have counseling when she was small in school, but she is not anymore. She doesn't talk about it very much and I don't want to push on the subject because I don't want to make her feel like all she is, is the "abused mute girl" so I don't really bring up things like counseling or things like that. That is also the reason I am on this site. I don't know how to talk to her about opening up to the idea of learning to talk without the white board and getting friends who she can communicate with since she spends most time alone.

She doesn't have a phone, and I think a tablet with a voice program would be expensive. Plus one of the main things I worry about is her reluctance to talk to people because she is mock for having to use her board. I don't know if a voice program would be any better. I think she is scared that if she changes her system then it will just make things worse and that she will be mocked more.

We have been together for about 3 weeks, and I met her about a month before that. I'm sorry if I seem like I don't know very much, we don't spend large amounts of time together because of work and school, and if I want to talk about something serious like this then she quickly tries to change the subject or make excuses.

I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for me to ask about these things. I really don't know about these kinds of issues and I'm just trying to understand how to help. I was looking for advice on encouraging someone to learn to sign, but if I am wrong in that then maybe I should just let her be.

 

[Bebonang]

I'm sorry for not being clear. I may have said something wrong, I did not sleep when I wrote my last response so I don't think I made sense. Yes her vocal cords were damaged physically from what I have been told (I don't ask about specific details) but I do know that she physically can't speak.

She did have counseling when she was small in school, but she is not anymore. She doesn't talk about it very much and I don't want to push on the subject because I don't want to make her feel like all she is, is the "abused mute girl" so I don't really bring up things like counseling or things like that. That is also the reason I am on this site. I don't know how to talk to her about opening up to the idea of learning to talk without the white board and getting friends who she can communicate with since she spends most time alone.

She doesn't have a phone, and I think a tablet with a voice program would be expensive. Plus one of the main things I worry about is her reluctance to talk to people because she is mock for having to use her board. I don't know if a voice program would be any better. I think she is scared that if she changes her system then it will just make things worse and that she will be mocked more.

We have been together for about 3 weeks, and I met her about a month before that. I'm sorry if I seem like I don't know very much, we don't spend large amounts of time together because of work and school, and if I want to talk about something serious like this then she quickly tries to change the subject or make excuses.

I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for me to ask about these things. I really don't know about these kinds of issues and I'm just trying to understand how to help. I was looking for advice on encouraging someone to learn to sign, but if I am wrong in that then maybe I should just let her be.

On the bold statement, yes, you have to let her be as she is a free person to make the decision on her own. She is not a child anymore, right? No one, even you, should not control over her. You can ask her politely but not with force.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Maybe that's it. The OP said that "because of abuse as a baby she lost all ability to use her vocal cords" so that could mean her vocal cords were damaged. Good point.

Quwaz, is that the case? Were her vocal cords physically damaged by the abuse?

"She has her hearing, but because of abuse as a baby she lost all ability to use her vocal cords. " The OP posted this so it sound like the abuse damage her vocal cords. I wonder how the g/f found out about the abuse and I wonder if it did more harm knowing what happen as a baby. It's always in the child best interest to tell them about being abuse as a baby when the can't remember it ? I hate to think what happen to the woman as a baby.