I'm hearing, you're Deaf, i'm sorry

I got something to top the phrase "oh i am sorry" when you meet a hearing person--

After realizing you are Deaf, the most typical response is: "I don't know sign language! I only know this (signing "thank you" but in an odd way), and that (signing "please" or "more" but in baby signs)... but if I do, I will talk with you!"

(growling).... just get away from me.


I am Deaf, and I do know that not many hearing people know ASL-- and I am OK with that. That is why I can lip read so I can work with hearing people because I do expect hearing people to NOT know signs.
So I find it extreme annoying that they apologize for not knowing ASL and then proceed to show me WHAT they know...
Do you do the same thing to a Spanish speaker? "Oh, lo siento no know Spanish... Pero, I know... uhhh... "Como Estas?" and.. uhh.... "Uno Mas!" hahah!" then proceed to get slapped silly by a Spanish speaker?

Maybe the repetitous of that damn phrase just get to me but for them-- it is a HUGE step so I should be more patient.... (HEAVY SIGH).


(BUT on a positive side!!! I do enocounter MORE AND MORE hearing people that do know some signs at their works... enough to a point where they can help me at various stores to get what I need or just signing "Thank you!" at end of my order.... That is GREAT! I will rather to have that "Are you deaf or hearing? Oh DEAF! I did take ONE sign class long time ago... maybe I help you? what u need?" than "OH I AM SORRY BUT I DONT KNOW SIGNS!")
 
gnarlydorkette said:
Do you do the same thing to a Spanish speaker? "Oh, lo siento no know Spanish... Pero, I know... uhhh... "Como Estas?" and.. uhh.... "Uno Mas!" hahah!" then proceed to get slapped silly by a Spanish speaker?

Maybe the repetitous of that damn phrase just get to me but for them-- it is a HUGE step so I should be more patient.... (HEAVY SIGH).


LOL!!! Amazingly there are some people who see the Spanish language as inferior just like they see ASL. I had one woman tell to my mom that I dont need to learn "THAT whatever u call with the hands. It makes her look like she is retarded and she is such a smart child. She doesnt need to learn THAT."


Wow...I asked my mom how she felt when that happened. My mom said she felt ashamed that I was deaf..I was like huh? She said that she was young and niave and didnt know better. She said if anyone says that now, she will slap them silly.
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An old man I would guess to be in his late 80s, saw Lilly being held by my wife. He saw the CI and the HA. He asked my wife if Lilly was retarded. My first thought was something along the lines of "Im gonna destroy this old man". Then I realized that the old man is so ignorant, that he couldnt wrap his mind around the technical concept of a CD player, let alone a CI.
Whats the old saying, "ya can't fix stupid".
 
Do you do the same thing to a Spanish speaker? "Oh, lo siento no know Spanish... Pero, I know... uhhh... "Como Estas?" and.. uhh.... "Uno Mas!" hahah!" then proceed to get slapped silly by a Spanish speaker?

actually gnarlydorkette there are some hearing people who do do that to people people who speak another language, Spanish or otherwise. I have seen it many times. They are just so excited to show what they know. There are some hearing people who know a few phrases in different multiple languages and they are more than happy to tell you this means ____ in this language. I have also seen Deaf do the same thing. When they know a little BSL and they meet some one Deaf from England i have seen them say okay i know this and this but what about this and you do the vowels this way but i forgot how to do this. I have seen it several times with Deaf it's not just a hearing thing, i think it is a human thing.
 
shel90 said:
I have had people say.."OH poor u! U are deaf..I am so sorry!" Drives me nuts. Too much of that, I will:blah: and then :rifle: to them. LOL!
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Same here...In fact, I have to say to people, I'm sorry that you feel that you are sorry about me being deaf, because at the end of the day, I'm cool with being deaf!! Too this day, I don't know why people would feel sorry if I were deaf!!

I've felt like shooting them too! So I'm quite happy to join you!!

Kashveera
 
Well I think of it like this. When talking about family with people we eventually get around to my brother dying 15 years ago. As I am talking about it I know that they will say I am sorry. Really there is no need to say that. It was 15 years ago. Yes I miss him terribly but there is no need for you to say you are sorry. It is a natural thing to say though. It gets a little annoying. I know they are being polite but they did not know him, but they think about their own family and how they would feel if a sibling passed. The people who say I am sorry you are Deaf, some not all, I am sure are thinking wow if I became deaf what then. It must be scary and sad. Well for a person to go from hearing with no problems to Deaf it probably would be. Think of how you would feel if you were like Christopher Reeve who was Superman and then an accident happened and he was quadriplegic. Scary and sad for him. Everyone can relate to that. I think that is the emotion that some, SOME hearing are expressing there. And truly we hearing depend so much on our ears we could not imagine loosing the ability to hear. I have to say though that since meeting so many Deaf that is not something that has the fear it once did for me. (I never really thought about it before meeting any Deaf but I thought after what would I think scary) I know that Deaf can do anything I can do, except hear. But if you have always been like that it is perfectly normal. My brother died before my nieces were born. They never knew him and therefore do not feel the loss the same as the rest of the family. Sure they wish they could know this person we all miss, but they truly don’t miss him, how could they? There lives are not affected in anyway by him being gone but ours are deeply and profoundly.
However, there are some who will say I am sorry because they feel that you are less complete of a person. Those people you should pity they are blinded by their own ignorance. I cannot fully comprehend what being told I am sorry for who you are feels like but I try to understand all points as much as I can, from all sides. Just me. =) I understand new things by association. I take the new thing and associate it with something I already know. So in reading these posts on AD I associate some of the experiences with my own life to better understand, knowing that the fullness of it I will never fully grasp.
 
Something new to add. Since I don’t go out anywhere anymore with out my BF who is Deaf the reactions are very interesting. More often than not when he says, “I’m Deaf” they say oh cool. I am sorry I don’t know sign, man I wish I did so tell me about…..” and they continue their conversation. Then when I start signing they say, “Wow you know sign language how cool.” Maybe it is just the town we live in that this has happened. Maybe it is unique to this area but I have rarely heard people say, “I’m sorry” and just walk away. Now my friend has told me recently of some things that made me mad. But while I am there this is what usually happens.
 
Last week, I was at the food store and getting my items scanned by the cashier. She started talking and I wasnt sure if she was talking to me so I asked her if she was talking to me. She looked at me strangely and I explained that I am deaf and can read lips. She went on a "I am sorry! I am sorry! I am sorry!" tirade while scanning my items. She was still saying "I am sorry" when she gave me my reciept. I was stunned to say anything more. Wow! :eek3:
 
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good lord. I cannot believe there are people like that. Okay Desert Rat now i am coming to MD where does this woman work?? LOL =)
I misinterpreted one of my friends one time (hearing) when they met my bf. Not in sign, their intent. When they met him they said, with out him seeing, I'm sorry. I quickly said, "don't be sorry he is Deaf he loves being Deaf and is proud of it". My friend said, no i am not sorry he is Deaf, i am sorry i don't know sign language. Now he won't fully be able to tell how Fabulous i am!!" LOL She wanted to communicate with him so bad and watched us both sign intently. She is a great friend of mine and her sense of humor is amazing. When you cannot communicate on all levels you feel a piece of you is missing in the other person's perception of who you are.
 
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