I'm hearing, you're Deaf, i'm sorry

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Southern

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Okay if i can give some insight into the whole "i'm sorry" thing. Say there are 2 hearing people, in the elevator. One starts to speak to the other and the other person stops them and says, “No habla ingles” which for those who don’t know is Spanish for I don’t speak English. The other hearing person who only speaks English will then say, “oh I’m sorry” and then not say another word. I’m sorry that I assumed you speak my language. I feel stupid that I just started talking to some one who doesn’t know what I am saying. It isn’t necessarily I am sorry you are Deaf. The sorry is for my error. I was wrong. It is not a sorry of pity. Hearing people do the same thing with other hearing people. It has less to do with your Deafness and more to do with I was just prattling on to some one and we don’t speak the same language. I would do the same if I spoke to a hearing person who only speaks Russian, French, Spanish, Chinese. We hearing people just assume that you are there and I can talk to you, then I find out you don’t speak my language well I will apologize for my assumption. And now I feel stupid. Luckily I know sign so if I speak to a Deaf person and that happens I can sign with them.:dance2:
And I have seen where Deaf are annoyed that hearing then speak slowly. But most if they are going to read lips ask that you speak slowly and concisely so as to fully understand the hearing person. Now of course there is a difference iinn ssppeeaakkiinngg sslloowwllyy and ssssssspppppppeeeeeeaaaaakkkkkkiiiiiinnnnnngggggg ssssssllllllooooowwwwlllllyyyy
When I am around a hearing person who does that to my Deaf friends I want to knock them out. They are not idiots you don’t have to talk like that. They have a talent you don’t possess in reading lips, (which by the way most hearing find really cool) This issue though is done by hearing people to other hearing people. If you speak another language and have trouble understanding me most hearing will slow their speech.
 
Southern said:
And I have seen where Deaf are annoyed that hearing then speak slowly. But most if they are going to read lips ask that you speak slowly and concisely so as to fully understand the hearing person. Now of course there is a difference iinn ssppeeaakkiinngg sslloowwllyy and ssssssspppppppeeeeeeaaaaakkkkkkiiiiiinnnnnngggggg ssssssllllllooooowwwwlllllyyyy
When I am around a hearing person who does that to my Deaf friends I want to knock them out. They are not idiots you don’t have to talk like that. They have a talent you don’t possess in reading lips, (which by the way most hearing find really cool) This issue though is done by hearing people to other hearing people. If you speak another language and have trouble understanding me most hearing will slow their speech.
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Unfortunately some people don't use their brains and ssppeeaakk sslliigghhttllyy sslloowweerr, but they speak rrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy slowly, right to the point where they are taking 1 minute to speak 1 work - why not just fingerspell it - would be much faster :(

Yeah, the deaf or HOH people kinda have to use lip-reading all the time, so they can become quite proficient in it. I am not deaf or HOH, so I have no skills in lip-reading, but I am assuming that if you lip-read long enough, that it becomes almost like reading a book, natural?

I would like to extend an apology on behalf of the idiot hearing population for not using our brains, and causing the deaf or HOH community to feel insulted.

God bless.

Dale.
 
actually i am hearing and can lip read pretty well. That comes from growing up in church. We used to talk across church. A lot of people who grew up like i did can to some extent. I am a little rusty but the skill is coming back.
 
I never forget that when happen in Store..

There man tried talked me .. I said, look I am deaf ok! Then You know what he does? Ugh

He said Oh I am sorry and Isn't nice outside with REAL LOUSY HIGH VOICE and every people turns looked at us ! lol
 
It had never even occurred to me that someone might interpret my saying "I'm sorry" as my saying it to mean "I'm sorry you're deaf." I don't think in any manner that is what is intended to be conveyed. I agree with you in full Souther, that its rather just "pardon me, for just babbling."

I think that the hearing community in general tends to "over" say sorry. I find my self saying sorry and not even realizing it. And never meaning sorry for the other person, but rather extending an apology, in an attempt to excuse my actions or let them know that I didnt mean harm or to be intrusive.
 
daleala said:
Yeah, the deaf or HOH people kinda have to use lip-reading all the time, so they can become quite proficient in it. I am not deaf or HOH, so I have no skills in lip-reading, but I am assuming that if you lip-read long enough, that it becomes almost like reading a book, natural?
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Unfortunately, no. That'd be nice, though! I lip read pretty well, and I've been told I'm better than most, although I do know people who lip read better than I do. When I have my hearing aids in, it generally 'just happens' - like reading a book, but when I don't, it takes a conscious effort - or at least my full attention. This is because lip reading only gives you some of the clues you need to know what is being said; the rest you have to guess at through context and expression and so on. The other complication is that people (hearing, anyway) are used to thinking about how they *sound*, so they'll speak up if it gets noisy. They're not used to thinking about how their faces *look*, however, so the logistics of lip reading (face your audience, watch out for lighting conditions, move your lips, etc) aren't as automatic. This may not be the same for someone who relies entirely on lip reading to understand spoken English, but I suspect it's pretty similar.

A little while back, I used oral interpretation for a few months. I was amazed at how much easier it was to lip read the OI than Joe Random on the street. Part of that was that the OIs I worked with were primarily ASL/PSE interpreters, and they would briefly switch to sign supported english now and then (my signing is - and was - weak, but every clue helps); but I think most of it had to do with the way they spoke - not just in the way they moved their lips, but in the expressiveness of their body language - facial expressions, eye/eyebrow movements, gestures and leaning in different directions. I've noticed in an interesting parallel that some of my friends who I find it easy to lip read are performers - singers, who are used to opening their mouths and using their lips and face to shape he sound; and actors and dancers, who understand body language and the distinction between clear, large, visible body language as opposed to comically exaggerated pantomime.

Oh, and when I refer to speech in the above paragraph, I'm referring to silent speech. If English (or ASL) has a word to refer to "'Spoken' English without sound", I'm unaware of it. It'd be convenient if there was one, though ...
 
I realize this is slightly off topic, but I really hate it when I mispronounce a word and then the hearing corrects me and then ends the conservation after that. It's really rude to end the conservation like that.
 
I have had people say.."OH poor u! U are deaf..I am so sorry!" Drives me nuts. Too much of that, I will:blah: and then :rifle: to them. LOL!
 
ismi said:
...This is because lip reading only gives you some of the clues you need to know what is being said; the rest you have to guess at through context and expression and so on. The other complication is that people (hearing, anyway) are used to thinking about how they *sound*, so they'll speak up if it gets noisy. They're not used to thinking about how their faces *look*, however, so the logistics of lip reading (face your audience, watch out for lighting conditions, move your lips, etc) aren't as automatic. This may not be the same for someone who relies entirely on lip reading to understand spoken English, but I suspect it's pretty similar.

...
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Let me expand on this a little... You also have the aspect of voice inflection. One can say with a "straight" face some sarcastic, funny, robotic, and etc. There is no way to lip read that in any shape or form. Voices are powerful things and they don't necessarily jib with what the face says. Fortunately, most people are very much in synch between their voices and faces (including body expressions). Lip reading isn't too bad in those circumstances.
 
I picked up slight lip-reading abilities over the years, even though I can here. I'm one of those people who tend to say sorry too much. But if i know any of the language, i try to communicate.
 
that is so true, a lot of deaf see someone that says I am sorry as they pity the person being deaf, it just they sorry to bother u cause can't communitae. But also, it more of an insult to the deaf when a person says that and then just flats out stops talking. I have noticed that a lot of deaf just likes to ineract with ppl sometimes, even though there is that communination barrier.
 
I get the same "I'm sorry" bit when people find out I'm deafblind.

One time while at the bank, the teller asked me to sign a withdrawal form. She handed me the form without indicating where I should sign. I explained that I was totally blind and asked if she could place my index finger on the line where my signature was supposed to be. The next thing I know, she was apologizing left and right. She must have told me 20 times how sorry she was. :)

I've also had people on the bus tell me how sorry they were that I can't see. One elderly lady sat down next to me and told me how sorry she was that I couldn't see the sunset, the blue sky or the faces of my children. I told her that I was quite happy with my life and that there was no need for pity. After all, you can't miss what you never had. :)
 
You could always say, "Don't feel sorry for me -- You are the one has to listen to stupid people chatter all the time."

And smile real big.
 
Berry said:
You could always say, "Don't feel sorry for me -- You are the one has to listen to stupid people chatter all the time."

And smile real big.
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LOL!!! so true... good one there :)
 
Berry said:
You could always say, "Don't feel sorry for me -- You are the one has to listen to stupid people chatter all the time."

And smile real big.
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yeaaaa, same here. "you are deaf? oh, i am sorry" i dont care.
i got always happened in Germany too. they told me "oh i am sorry" i said, that is fine *big grin and go away*
 
Berry said:
You could always say, "Don't feel sorry for me -- You are the one has to listen to stupid people chatter all the time."

And smile real big.
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Berry,

LOL! That's exactly what I'll do the next time someone tells me they feel sorry for me. :)
 
Liza said:
"You're hearing? Oh, I'm sorry!"
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That's a good one! I will say that the next time a hearing person says he/she feels sorry for me being deaf. I remember one co worker from an old job telling me that she feels so sorry for me that I cant hear beautiful sounds , music, and stuff. I told her that I felt sorry for her that she has to deal with noise pollution. She didnt talk to me after that cuz I said that in front of everyone. Heheheheh!
 
Tell them that u don't and a disablity, in fact us hearing ppl have the disablity. You don't have to listen the all the bullshit and nagging of ppl in the stores and cry babies from adults and spoiled rotten kids.
 
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