I'm boring

[justagirl]

Are you referring to Park City, UT? If so that is not a party kind of town much less college like. I know I've been there and lived there...it's actually very quite and a bit boring at time. Unless you love to ski/snowboard. Sorry for all the hard times but I think you might find Park City (if you are referring to Park City, UT) really refreshing. People there are nice and extremely friendly. It is touristy in the winter because everyone loves to go their for the skiing but at the same time its fun that way because you get to meet so many different people. Some of the best slopes around! I wish you luck and hope things improve. Also Park City is soooooo clean!!

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I'm not taking drugs, it will make me worse. More of suicidal way. I have a counsellor for many years, let say 'since 2007'. I always wanted to go to appointment and talk about how miserable my life is.

You got your point wrong there dude, that is based on women attitude because of 'virginity' doesn't mean I am desperate for sex. I am talking more about of being considerate.

When you come to USA will you have a strong support system ?
I think you should try to set something up so you'll have someone to talk to before you get to USA.

 

[green427]

I am afraid I am with others, you clearly need to get some real help before it goes off the rails for your sake. Having worked with teenagers with ASD, Aspergers and autism, they are borderline, spectrum or severe. I recognise a lot of tenancies in your posts and your posts are focused on one thing, you and your problems. You need to speak to someone to break this tenancy as its not simple on your own, meds or not.

A break from FB is a good move as its clearly not helping. Get a hobby with small group of people ( did you say you are fit? How about joining a fitness club, cycling club what ever sport you like) we do that with the teenagers, we find their potential and drive them on that potential, they all come out happier and calmer as they have something they like to focus on. Swimming is heaven! Believe me... I take 3 anxious/stressed out with me every week when they come out of pool it's like having 3 horizontal kids, so relaxed and laid back!!

When you talk to people, don't start off about how miserable your life is, they will run a mile!! Get into what they are interested in, start off with that. You are more likely to be their friend if you share things in common and are interested in their interests if it's different to yours. Try not cling onto the person that is finally your friend, explore. Girls will come at their pace, you are young, plenty of time for that, focus on your life first. An old saying "they will come when you are not looking".

Going to USA is an amazing experience, a massive learning curve, you may enjoy it even you think you won't, I went to USA on my own at 19, never travelled long haul on my own before that. I was on my own for 2 weeks, had the best time and even made friends!!

Get stressed over something like FB, social life is not doing you any justice, you are the only one who has to make the move to face the real world, I am afraid it's horrible out there, but you gotta to face it.

Take one day at a time.

This pretty much sums it up.

I have a few family members with Asperger's, including one of my own. It is extremely difficult, if not impossible to get them to see things from other people's point of view. They believe that their opinion is the only one that matters, and have a hard time empathizing others. They come off as blunt, cold, and rude to us.

In Matty's mind, he is asking innocent questions, and does not realize that how he asks or what he asks could be offensive to others. When someone says "I don't like that", he perceives it as a personal attack, and once his mind is set in that mode, no one can get through to him.

I work with a man that sounds exactly like Matty. He is desperate for a woman, but has terrible social skills. He is convinced that he is doing nothing wrong, so there must be something wrong with everyone else. Very smart guy, but very difficult to communicate with. We cannot help him, as he does not want help, since he truly believes he is doing nothing wrong.

 

[Smithtr]

Don't be depression emotional mind cause home? cause your stress worst increase your , serious! that is why not good health I advise recommend hobbies important

you should be busy doing to activating, happy motivated, well around busy focus on your skills effort best

Don't be hurting yourself because harm serious! because not good but control if suppose medication! that is not easy life! life do it Changeling mind accept to help to encourage to social to club, holiday wish be you happy, Don't be boring you low engery easy depression !

 

[drphil]

Matt: another consideration to reflect on BEFORE going to Utah with your current counselor.
Print out every thread you started here and all the comments and have them reviewed by the counselor you trust.

You can't get much counselling in the USA. Also you plan on moving to Brisbane will necessitate finding a different counselor- starting all over.

Matt: If you follow up then the "Alldeaf interlude" can be of some future value to you.

In the end your choice what YOU do!

Good luck Matt in your short term as the consequences will one way or other be with you for a long time.

Cheers mate!

 

[metalangel]

How long have you been over in the US? And ALREADY you're writing it off as a disaster.

Don't expect everything to become perfect overnight.

I would also suggest not coming on to every girl you see, as well as not becoming mortally offended if they don't immediately reciprocate the interest.

 

[Frisky Feline]

this thread needs to be locked. it is too far damaged already.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

This pretty much sums it up.

I have a few family members with Asperger's, including one of my own. It is extremely difficult, if not impossible to get them to see things from other people's point of view. They believe that their opinion is the only one that matters, and have a hard time empathizing others. They come off as blunt, cold, and rude to us.

In Matty's mind, he is asking innocent questions, and does not realize that how he asks or what he asks could be offensive to others. When someone says "I don't like that", he perceives it as a personal attack, and once his mind is set in that mode, no one can get through to him.

I work with a man that sounds exactly like Matty. He is desperate for a woman, but has terrible social skills. He is convinced that he is doing nothing wrong, so there must be something wrong with everyone else. Very smart guy, but very difficult to communicate with. We cannot help him, as he does not want help, since he truly believes he is doing nothing wrong.

I have a niece that has Asperger's and she is not rude or cold to people .
She teach English as a second language to adults and the people like my niece a lot. Asperger's is difference in every person and I disagree with making a blanket statement about it.

 

[Persephone M]

Yep prove that. I don't have a bad attitude. Every time I'm happy I easily get a bad result from everything because everything in my life is way overestimated. So if I underestimate my life, I wouldn't be at uni at all. How surprised I am, nearly finished on 4 year degree and even going to US by a job acceptance. I did not expected that because I always get discriminated by my hearing loss.

All of your problems always come down to this. Maybe it's time to stop blaming the hearing loss. Find deaf groups, but then you blame your autism. Yes, these things make life hard, but not insurmountable.

Same for social environment. Uni social life for me is shitty as hell. I'm poor and can't make friends which I define friends as talking with, hang out with and 'include with'. Not fake Facebook friends like that or people pretend to accept you during at uni classes.

People may be polite, but that does not mean they are pretending to be your friend. Most relationships just never go that deep. I have a lot of "friends," that are merely very friendly aquaintances. We may really like each other, but there is only so much time in life. Even if they were interested in more, you really come off wrong. This could be part aspergers, but is very heavily influenced by your incredibly negative personality. Thinking everyone is "pretending" to be your friend and "trying to hurt you" or out to get you in some way for sex or money, is a bit paranoid. There are a lot of those people, more than we can imagine, but it is unlikely that is every single person you meet.

I had enough with this shitty life. More of expecting to have fun and awesome time in US but until I found out Park City is a party place, people going to live as party 24/7 houses and stuff very similar to college. Dirty houses makes me feel death. Now what!? Not again, leaving uni for place very similar to college lifestyle!? Jesus hell christ! When life gets easier for me since it has been way too hard all the time. Like it is hard to get a person to mention and include you to hang out without being faking and pretending? Now I am expecting to have very extremely hard time in America because of party places. On our facebook group page for the workers of the resort for this season, their facebook profiles have extremely large amounts of friends and heavy photo tags. Like over 1000 a piece. Im not comfortable with that because it define their life as party animals and people accept them easily.

This seems judgmental- Many different people drink to varying degrees, for various reasons, and with friends. Some go out to get drunk and laid, some just have a few drinks with friends while chilling at a restaurant, some to celebrate, some to grieve. Yeah, a lot of people drink, but not all of them are the same. You easily assume the worst of others. You hate stereotyping, but you stereotype others. I was a little offended on a previous post about which "type" of girl you should go for. I am a geek- I game with three other female geeks. Two love sports, one is a chemist working on her doctorate, baseball player and occasional partier. Another is studying social work, teaches childrens Sunday school and played soccer. And another is uber feminine- pink, frills, perfect hair. None of us are a "type." (But I recognize I may be oversensitive to this from the number of guys who see me as a walking pair of boobs, so I said nothing.) You are always misunderstood, but you never think maybe you misunderstand. There are lots of reasons people have various friends on Facebook and it is shallow to judge others on this. You are judging them, assuming they are judging you also. Try thinking from someone elses perspective. Or just listening to them as individuals.

Now how I am going to feel, sitting at a house in middle of party while being sober and very fit makes me feel so uncomfortable. I can't make friends like that because they are drunk same here at colleges on campus as well. Everywhere I go places where people drinks including my family go to clubs and pubs. I never feel comfortable and couldn't make friends and even girlfriends. Same shit happens here at uni for 4 solid years. My future looks so bleak and boring as hell.

How does everyone else feel with you sitting there judging them? You do not strike me as a person adept at hiding your disdain.

Looks like I am going to be lonely traveller, world record bestest innocent virgin and that shit happens in movies and that.

I, I, I. I did not other to go through every post you have ever made, but I have seen several. And they were all about you. To a certain extent this is to be expected- we seek to know and be known, and it is best to talk about ourselves if we are making statements, because we understand ourselves the best and don't want to gossip. But everything is about you. You seek to be known, but not to know. Now, I have sympathy because I tend toward low self-esteem and depression- it makes us naturally a little more selfish because we need more affirmation than healthy people. But 1) This does not solve the actual problem. No matter how much people listen or encourage, until we deal with the real issues bringing us down or balance their negative impact in some way, we cannot come out of the pit. 2) The world does not care, and has little patience for our problems. It is not that people are mean, it's just there is nothing they can do and only so much whining they can take. The real secret to making friends is to be one. #1 Ask people about themselves. Take genuine interest in their lives. -Good questions are what do you like, how did you get into that? etc, until you find what they are passionate about. Listen to them, encourage them, support them. Do stuff for others. The awesome thing is, this not only makes us likeable to others, but we start to like ourselves. Because it truly does make you feel good when you make someone else feel good. And a lot of times, a deep friendship won't form, but some times it does. But if our self-esteem gets too low and stays there, we tend to start putting others down to build ourselves up-and this is a lose-lose situation. I have fallen into this before- it was not deliberate! But it I realized I was harsh on others because I did not like myself. I expected them to be harsh on me and not only beat them to it, (thinking their harsh thoughts for them because of my fears), but eventually became over critical of them. Who were they to judge me, anyway? :Oops: It is embarrassing to admit, but I realized this truth by examining my thoughts and overcame it.

Last, MushyCookies was not being mean. She was letting you know a harsh truth, in a pretty diplomatic manner which is a very good quality. I made a joke about a friend that offended him. This was not my intent, but he let me know he was hurt. I had several choices. I could brush it off as him being oversensitive and just tell him he shouldn't take it like that because that wasn't how I meant it, or I could could apologize, express I never meant it like that, and NEVER do it again. Or I could get really offended that he misunderstood me and call him every name in the book. Asking a girl if she thinks Aussie guys are hot is obviously a flirtation, and frequently a line checking for sexual interest- at least coming from an Aussie guy. If there is another way to take it, best to explain the misunderstanding, apologize and and proceed with all future interactions knowing that lines true meaning. Healthy way of dealing with conflict/misunderstanding: I was hurt by that, please don't say it. Unhealthy way: You B***, everyone hates me and is being mean. One deals with the problem, the other makes it worse. I don't say these things just to gang up on you, but in hopes that you will see the problem in how you deal with people and address it.

Sorry it's so long.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Prov 15:1

 

[Persephone M]

Matt: another consideration to reflect on BEFORE going to Utah with your current counselor.
Print out every thread you started here and all the comments and have them reviewed by the counselor you trust.

Cheers mate!

Good idea.

 

[MushyCookies]

this thread needs to be locked. it is too far damaged already.

I agree. I kind of blew up and I think he get what we all are saying now and is probably done with this thread. I vote for locking this thread. Calvin, sorry. >.<

 

[Calvin]

This isn't a place to get personal with other members. Attacking other's opinions and advices isn't going to help either. I do agree that this thread is better off closed.