Im 23 with a new profound hearing impairment struggling to cope...help please?

Cued Speech was designed to only be used in a school classroom. Not as a language. An it don't work well as a language for various reasons.
 
SouthFella said:
Cued Speech was designed to only be used in a school classroom. Not as a language. An it don't work well as a language for various reasons.
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Yeah, that was what I meant by "target market" - that it was mostly invented for school use. But I know that loml is a passionate cued speech advocate and doesn't necessarily want to consider that it's not suitable for ALL cases. Which is not a criticism of loml or cued speech...it just means it's not an argument I wanted to have. :)
 
SouthFella said:
Cued Speech was designed to only be used in a school classroom. Not as a language. An it don't work well as a language for various reasons.
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Southfella - Cued Speech works well for English, in or out of the classroom and at home.
 
Etoile said:
Yeah, that was what I meant by "target market" - that it was mostly invented for school use. But I know that loml is a passionate cued speech advocate and doesn't necessarily want to consider that it's not suitable for ALL cases. Which is not a criticism of loml or cued speech...it just means it's not an argument I wanted to have. :)
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I am not sure why you would be of the opinion that cueing shouldn't be a tool of support for individuals who already use English? Would you expand on this for me please?
 
loml said:
I am not sure why you would be of the opinion that cueing shouldn't be a tool of support for individuals who already use English? Would you expand on this for me please?
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Like I said, I'd rather not engage in this conversation. You are very passionate about cued speech and I prefer not to discuss with someone who cannot see the negative aide of an issue. Discussions are better when all parties are open minded - there is zero chance that anything I could say would change your feelings about cued speech, so I'd rather not get into it.
 
loml said:
I am not sure why you would be of the opinion that cueing shouldn't be a tool of support for individuals who already use English? Would you expand on this for me please?
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In order for a tool to be supportive, it has to be able to be used. Since there are so few cuers, using CS as a communication tool in the workplace is simply not feasable. Problems with communication are most often problems with receptive communication. That means the one responsible for expressive communication must be fluent in the method. Its a simple matter of logic.
 
Quote:
....Cued Speech has substantial data showing that it enables deaf children to attain competency in English at the level of hearing students grade by grade. I know of no other system that enables this to happen.... As more and more young deaf persons achieve academically because of this system, deaf leaders will need to re-examine their options.
- Dr. Edward C. Merrill, Jr. past president of Gallaudet



The operative words are children and academic.... I went to Gally and I knew Dr Merrill quite well.. He didn't use CS when he conversed with students. He used Sign Language.
 
SouthFella said:
Quote:
....Cued Speech has substantial data showing that it enables deaf children to attain competency in English at the level of hearing students grade by grade. I know of no other system that enables this to happen.... As more and more young deaf persons achieve academically because of this system, deaf leaders will need to re-examine their options.
- Dr. Edward C. Merrill, Jr. past president of Gallaudet



The operative words are children and academic.... I went to Gally and I knew Dr Merrill quite well.. He didn't use CS when he conversed with students. He used Sign Language.
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Excellent post!!
 
Bottesini said:
Yes, there seems to have been a big influx of them recently.
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I know...I wonder why is that? Not that I am against them but the total opposite ...

To the OP, welcome to AD and hope u will find a support system here and of course, in your community!
 
Hello!! If you ever need to ask questions and stuf u can ask me through PM, im also from the UK, do you live in the south or north?
 
hello there,

the only thing i have in common with you is profound deafness at 19.

every aspect of our situation other than that is completely different.

however, I feel that with that one single detail being the same... i had to comment here.

i feel for you... I really do... I know what you're going through...like litterally ya know?

i've only been deaf for a little over a year (20 now) but the first thing you gotta do... and believe me, i dunno what it is you gotta do...its different for everyone. you Must get your confidence back... without it...you will not move on...

once you get it back, strut your shit like "yeah i'm deaf, but i'm the shit"... then people will take note...and everything will be good. trust me on that. once you have confidence in yourslef...others will have confidence in you.
 
Jenifer35 said:
First of all good afternoon to you all! :wave:

I'm a Newbie, & I'd greatly appreicate your advice or guidence regarding my hearing loss if you feel you can help...


My names Jen, I was diagnosed with profound deafness at 19 years old (Im now 23) - the cause of which has never been determined or fully investigated. I was told by an ENT doctor it was generic (no one in my family suffers with hearing loss) and that it will degenerate over time...I can expect to be fully deaf by 60.

Recently, as my hearing is getting steadily worse I am finding it increasingly difficult to go about my normal daily routine. I wear two hearing aids which are of some assistance, but I am starting to struggle to cope as my hearing loss is getting progressively worse.

I work full time for the NHS & am increasingly finding it hard to communicate affectively. I am consistently on edge when talking to people (Infact, ive given up on the phone completely despite having a specialist RNID handset) and dread when anyone talks to me. I concentrate so hard on understanding what people are saying, that I regularly don't take in what they have actually said.

If I mishear which results in error, or if I consistently have to ask people to repeat themselves, it upsets me to think that I am easily conceived as being unintelligent & incapable of performing tasks because of my hearing.

I am so depressed over this, and on plucking up the courage to speak to my GP I felt I was dumbed down, because he stated that I seemed to be having a conversation with him fine whilst I was telling him about my anxiety (in a small confined space on a 1-2-1 basis I usually am able to converse, its when there is background noise or I am unaware of a conversation is going to be made with me that I struggle)

I am so depressed, I cry consistently about this as I have been told nothing can be done. I do not want to not be in work, but I find myself dreading going in. People make unintentional hurtful comments (more due to the lack of disability awareness training amongst staff I employed with...and I work for the NHS!...ironic isn't it?!)

I am really unhappy. I do know I am not the worst off person in the world, and having people telling me this does not seem to help my situation...it is all relative to what i know isn't it? I wondered if anyone could kindly offer me confidence boosting tips or advice on how to be proud of the person I've become, and assistance in dealing with these horrid social situations - instead of crying myself to sleep every night, and becoming depressed because of my disability.
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I quoted your post above because although others have already shared good advice and sentiments. I want to focus on what you had to say here.

The first thing I want to tell you is that you remind me alot of myself about 15 years ago and I want you to take hope in the fact that someone else there (Me and many others) have gone through what you are going through and eventually pulled through it.

I can relate because it was in my late teens too when my hearing really started to decrease to the point where it really started to effect me socially. Along with that came a lot of depression. In fact let me tell you how bad it was for me when I was in my early 20's. For about 3 years I locked myself into what I now call "My cave". My cave was the basement of my parents house. The basement is basically an apartment. My schedule for about 3 years was this. I'd go to bars at night and stay there till bar closing. Then I'd go home, sit in my bed and watch TV and movies all night long. Usually till the sun comes up. Then I'd sleep all day and wake up just in time to go to the bar again.

That was my life. When friends or family invited me to go somewhere I always turned it down. I avoided any situation where I might be sitting in a quite place and have discussions. Bar's where different. I spent time with people but didn't have to have any real conversations. Just sit around, play pool and just small talk that I really didn't need to hear anyway.

This was my life. But my life is no longer like that today. I eventually came to terms with the fact that I'm now deaf and I'm no longer ashamed of it. I shouldn't say "ashamed" but what's really happening is "Self Pity". It's a matter of self confidence and it's not easy to have when you loose a sense like we lost or are loosing. But I want to tell you that it is possible.

I'm gonna take some guesses here at some of the things I felt in those days. Let me know if you can relate to them.

When with a group of people who are talking and joking around. You tend to feel left out. A part of you wants to join in and a part of you wants to walk away and find something else to do. You know that people who are close to you such as family and friends say they don't mind and will repeat things for you when needed. But you also feel that you are a burden to them. You're sometimes embarrassed when you miss hear something someone says. Sometimes they laugh at you because of your mistake. Sometimes you get upset with people and even when you try to explain things to them it's clear that they will never understand what it's like unless they had to live with it.

Those are just a few of the things I use to think and feel. I'm not going to tell you that those things still won't happen or that embarrassing things might happen form time to time because they will. A couple of years ago I had one happen to me. I was ordering food and I thought "I won a prize" but what they actually said was "Do you want fries". :)

You see. Those embarrassing moments are only as bad as you make them to be. IF that fries/prize thing happened to me 15 years ago I would have craved to go home and lock myself in my cave again and probable cry about it. Today when it happens I laughed at it too because it was funny.

Here's the key. When something embarrassing happens like that then make sure everyone involved or witnessed it knows why it happened. It happened because you're deaf or can't hear that well. It's not about intelligence or ignorance. It's a condition in your life. Show them that you can see the humor in the situation too. That alone shows that you have intellectual and more importantly confidence. A confident and intelligent person would be able to see humor in a funny situation and not let it bring them down.

That's not easy to do. I'm not suggesting that it is easy at all. But here's my next piece of advice. When you first read this you're going to think it won't work but I'm telling you it can and I suggest you try it anyway. What I'm talking about is what I call "Fake it till you make it".

The next time you miss hear something and someone laughs about it. Laugh with them. Even if you feel like it's not funny to you or it gets you a little depressed. Pretend it doesn't bring you down. The next time you're with a group of people and feel left out. Stick through it and don't let anyone see that you feel out of place. Just think to yourself, "What would a person who has total confidence in themselves do at this moment?".

I know it seems silly but here's what's happening. You're learning that it'll only bring you down if you let it. The people around you will feel more comfortable and include you more when you don't look depressed. You'll also learn that it isn't as bad is it might seem sometimes.

Now having said all that. At the same time if someone really does do something mean to you. Respond to that too. When I say "Fake it till you make it" I'm not suggesting that you ignore it when someone does something that's outright rude. There are lines they shouldn't cross and there are jerks out there. But quite often the things that can make is feel embarrassed or left out isn't intentionally meant to be rude.

Here's another thing you could do. It's what I call "Small connections". You can put a time aside to do this or just do it when ever you're around people. Take for example you're at the mall or a park. Your goal is to make small connections with people. Just walk around and make yourself look happy. I'm not talking overly happy. Just look like you're a person who's in a good mood without a care in the world. Like I said, fake it. Now as you walk past people make eye contact. If you lock eyes with someone give them a small gesture. It can be anything. A nod of the head or a smile. You're goal is to get a gesture back form them. IF you give a nod and they give one back. That's a connection. If you smile and they smile back. That's a connection. If you're driving and nod at the person in the next car at a stop light. That's a connection. Don't worry if they don't give one back. This isn't a contest. It's an exercise. If you see someone with something worth commenting on, make the comment. Exp. "Hey, nice car".

This is a confidence building exercise and more specifically a social confidence exercise. It really does help.

Let me tell you that because of these things I'm now a professional entertainer that performs in front of thousands of people a year. What you're going through is something some of us call "Between worlds" because we didn't grow up in any kind of deaf culture so we don't exactly fit there. We also don't exactly fit in the "Hearing" world. IT IS POSSIBLE TO GET THROUGH THIS!

Keep your head up and you'll get past it eventually. Feel free to contact me anytime. Sometimes just getting an experience off your chest is helpful.

Ron Jaxon
 
Off topic: I think that it is a long overdue that you forgot to unplug your foam ear plugs, and you will able to hear again.
 
When I said to use humor. I really meant it needs to be funny. Does anyone on the face of this earth find the last post by webexplorer funny?

Like I said. You do have to stand up for yourself.
 
Obviously, you are involved with two different worlds between deaf and hearing cultures. Fortunately, you would able to do anything you want with your life without the walls around you. In fact, a lot of hearing people ignored deaf people until they became deaf unexpectedly at last, and they have to realize that cannot go back to the hearing world in some ways. It made me feel good and welcome these people to come in our world, and it has nothing to do with the discrimination.

It would be nice that we could hear something without wearing hearing aids. In fact, George Bush banned many hair cell regeneration hearing labs in the U.S. eight years ago. He really wasted our time for eight whole years, and he is a real jerk due his education or knowledge is such a real shame. Now, the labs have to start over this year because the FDA destroyed all of the research in many states. It is so strange that many churches prohibited many cures that would have saved people's lives and normal life. I am not talking about only embryo cells. I think that you know the rest of it.

There is nothing that you can get it back. We will support you guys, and you are definitely okay. Imagine that we were in 1850, we would have ended up in a mental hospital for rest of life.
 
I've been deaf for 48 years! Losing my hearing totally at age 14.

"Coming to terms with it" and keeping ur sense of humor is easier said than done! But it's very imperative that you do!

Now that I'm a lot older, people just assume I'm just a deaf ol' lady!...But when I was younger, the case were very different!...I was treated differently!

Try as you might to be flexible with the hearing and the deaf!...Learn to lip read and sign...and above all! KEEP TALKING!!!!..My speech is still intact!Because I refused to stop talking!!..If you "clam up" and isolate urself, you will slowly forget how! I communicate with friends, children and family via "talking" and some signs!...

Tell urself Everyday...."Let me learn, let me strive!! Give me Pride! In my right to be me."

I've never fully accepted my deafness! It no longer worries me! Wishing you the very best!
 
One post almost a month ago from the OP. I think we can stop advising her now.
 
I live in the UK, I have dealt with GPs and can quite bluntly say for the most part they don't know enough to assess / support / criticise your situation because they are not trained do so. General Practitioner, suggests to me jack of all trades master of none.. If you are unhappy with the support a doctor gives, complain and get another, repeat until you find a doctor that you can connect with and feel has a real tangible understanding of your situation. When in a time of crisis, it doesn't take a lot to make a person crumble, I think it is normal to become disheartened by what you described.. Just have to remind yourself that only you know what you are going through right now and no matter what form of communication you use there will be a severe lack of understanding by the recipient - unless that person has experienced this too.

As for trying to understand communication from other people, I have been learning British Sign Language since January this year and about to take my first exam, BSL 101..

One of the main things I have noticed is how much information is lost during lip reading, my teacher is profoundly deaf and has been his entire life, he is a master at reading people's signals but still has to reconstruct what you say while he is lip reading because quite frankly there is too many words that look the same. I saw a statistic online that only about 30% of what a person is saying can be detected by an excellent lip reader, sobering I think.

Also in case it hasn't been told to you, background noise will effect your hearing, that is normal - that in itself demonstrates that the Doctor doesn't understand deafness... Besides, I can't help but wonder if you would benefit from exposure to the Deaf culture - I am hearing and have been treated kindly by several Deaf people at the Deaf pub. I met a man who was able to lipread astonishingly well, which put me at ease as at the time I could barely express anything I was thinking through sign language.. I still am a beginner obviously, but after a few months I can have some conversations with Deaf.

Besides, I think sign language is a beautiful language, it feels incredible and has opened me up to see signals from hearing people as they communicate that I hadn't noticed before.
 
rockin'robin said:
I've been deaf for 48 years! Losing my hearing totally at age 14.

"Coming to terms with it" and keeping ur sense of humor is easier said than done! But it's very imperative that you do!

Now that I'm a lot older, people just assume I'm just a deaf ol' lady!...But when I was younger, the case were very different!...I was treated differently!

Try as you might to be flexible with the hearing and the deaf!...Learn to lip read and sign...and above all! KEEP TALKING!!!!..My speech is still intact!Because I refused to stop talking!!..If you "clam up" and isolate urself, you will slowly forget how! I communicate with friends, children and family via "talking" and some signs!...

Tell urself Everyday...."Let me learn, let me strive!! Give me Pride! In my right to be me."

I've never fully accepted my deafness! It no longer worries me! Wishing you the very best!
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Age does help us at times.. lol Blame it on old age and dementia
 
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